Yours Unfaithfully (7 page)

Amy wanted to do all the things her brothers did so she had her own small canoe and a recorder, from which she had so far failed to play a single tuneful note. She had a fondness for dressing up and spent hours trying on her mother’s clothes and experimenting with her make up, all of which earned ridicule from her brothers.

Melanie was always up early on Sundays to get breakfast for her brood before taxiing them around. If Henry was canoeing she would have to take Amy as well plus two canoes. If James was playing at a school music club event he would expect his mother to stay and watch the performance, which meant that Amy would have to come too.

This Sunday Melanie was glad that she was required to provide transport for them, especially as James’s performance was in a school hall twenty miles away. That would keep her out of the house until at least mid-afternoon.

Henry had already gone off to play football by the time she was preparing to leave and Tim was mooching about the house in a foul mood. For him last night’s conversation with Mel had introduced a new set of problems into his already crowded bag. Just as he’d thought reconciliation was on the cards it seemed things had taken a turn for the worse.

Now they were all off out and he would be left to fend for himself for most of the day. Just for once, he thought, I don’t want to fix anyone’s car; instead I wish I could fix my marriage. He slumped at the kitchen table, his hands clasped around a mug of tea. All around him his family was rushing about with a purpose. James was spreading sheets of music across the table in preparation for his performance and Amy was trying to sort out the make up bag that she was taking with her.

While Melanie was upstairs getting ready, it dawned on Tim that he was the only one who had nothing worthwhile to do. He wasn’t part of the mad scrabble to get to the next activity. He sometimes took Henry to football if Melanie was out with James but today he wasn’t even needed for that, he was surplus to requirements, no one needed him, and he had no purpose to serve.

Melanie came into the kitchen looking as beautiful as ever. He knew that she’d been up for hours while he’d had a ‘lay in’. She was a picture of perfection while he had simply thrown on his old joggers and a scruffy t-shirt. He hadn’t even combed his hair or showered, for which he now felt ashamed. As he stared vacantly into the mug of steaming tea, he reflected on Melanie’s importance to the family, he took a minute to see her for what she really was, a successful career woman, a proud mother to their three children, and most of all a very desirable wife.

Was it any wonder she’d called a halt to his marital rites? Tim looked down at himself and cursed silently for not getting up earlier, for not getting showered and for not getting dressed properly. He could have offered to go with them, spend the day with them. They could have eaten out at a pub somewhere after James had finished his music session.

Now it was too late. They were already carrying their stuff out to Melanie’s car. Amy ran back and kissed him before chasing out to catch the others, James shouted, “Bye Dad.” Melanie briefly looked back and asked, “Will you be wanting an evening meal tonight Tim? If not I thought we’d stop off at McDonalds on our way back and get something.”

“No, I’ll be OK, I’ll get myself something,” he said miserably. “Have a good time.” He wanted to say more but they were already gone. The car door slammed and Melanie tooted, probably to Nina next door.

He didn’t even know where they were going. If only he’d shown more interest he could get washed and dressed and catch them up. Not as good, going in two vehicles as going together, but it would be better than spending the entire day alone. It would be too embarrassing to ring Mel and ask her just minutes after she’d left and, anyway, she wouldn’t answer while she was driving.

Maybe Nina was in her front garden, if so she’d have seen them leave, she’d know where they were heading off to. He was ashamed to admit it but Nina knew more about his family’s activities than he did. How could he explain going round to ask her? ...it was so obvious that he was only going after them because he was lonely. What a pathetic mess I am, he thought, as he studied himself in more detail, trying to picture himself as Melanie might see him. She used to be so proud of her ‘big lad’, her prize mechanic who could fix anything. She used to joke that no one should go on safari without Tim. He could make a nut and bolt out of a bucket of sand, she boasted. He’d fixed her Dad’s car not long after they started seeing each other. Soon he was called upon for advice on all manner of mechanical things. When anyone in the family wanted a new car they would consult with Tim first to get his advice on what was or wasn’t a good model to own. That seemed years ago. It was ages since anyone in the family had asked his advice on cars. In fact, he reflected, it was ages since anyone had asked his advice on anything. He stared at his big hands, his dirty finger nails, ingrained with engine oil. It wasn’t that he wasn’t clean, but it took ages to scrub the oil off his hands and the next day it was back again. Of course, he would always try to get scrubbed up, as Mel called it, before they went out anywhere together.

When was that? When was the last time he’d taken Mel out anywhere, to dinner or to the theatre? He tried to remember the last occasion on which they’d gone out together. He struggled and it became more difficult as he went further back through the year. Where had this year gone? Eventually he conceded that he hadn’t taken her out at all this year and it would be July in another three days. Was it any wonder she’d decided that they wouldn’t make love any more? Soon she’d be insisting that they sleep in separate rooms.

Tim went upstairs to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. What he saw worried him. I’m a slob, he decided, a scruffy shambles of the man I used to be. I come and go every day always thinking I’m doing a good job, supporting my family, but the truth is Mel earns more than me and she could support this family on her own. I’m like a lodger in this house. He stared down at the dirty clothes he’d left on the floor yesterday when he’d got himself ready for the all important meal last night. If he was honest, he hadn’t even made much of an effort for that. Yes he’d showered and splashed some aftershave on, but was that really enough for a woman like Melanie? These days she was working with big city accounts. She often dropped their names in conversation but he’d never paid enough attention to remember any of them. These were successful men, they wore £500 suits and Rolex watches and they used exclusive men’s fragrances. Was that what Melanie wanted? Some bloody poof who drove a Mercedes and wore designer clothes?

Tim stood there for several minutes clutching the wash basin with his left hand while running his right hand across his chin. Decision number one, a new shaver was needed; in fact a major overhaul was needed. He stepped onto the scales, fifteen stone plus, three stone more than he was when he first met Melanie. He had to bend slightly to see the scales because his belly obscured his view. Four or five pints most nights in the Globe had been the main contribution to this unwelcome overhang. A cloud of depression engulfed him as he struggled to think clearly. Had he left it too late? Had he lost the only woman he’d ever loved, mother to his kids and the most essential ingredient of his life?

What could he do about it? He could go next door and seek help from Ben! If Melanie found out – and she would, Nina would see to that, then he would appear even more pathetic. No, he had to sort this one out on his own. First he needed to shower and scrub himself until not a trace of oil remained and then he’d set about clearing up the house for Melanie. He’d start with his own things which were left all over the place then he’d put all the kids things away before preparing a meal for them. That’s it ... I’ll ring Melanie and say don’t bother with McDonalds, I’m getting a lovely meal ready for when you come home. That would give him an excuse to speak to her. Maybe he’d be able to tell from the tone of her voice how she was feeling about him. If she rejected his offer to make the evening meal it meant she couldn’t face sitting down to eat together, which probably meant their marriage was all but over. If, on the other hand, she enthused at the idea then there was still time to put things right.

He wouldn’t bring up the subject of making love for as long as she wanted. He’d act as if everything was just fine. The perfect husband, that’s what he had to be. Melanie wasn’t a snob; she’d never been one to be impressed by money or material things. She would appreciate a single scented red rose more than a huge bunch of roses. She’d never be influenced by a Rolex watch or a Gucci suit. How often had they laughed at the holes in their jeans in the days before they’d been blessed with Henry? Even when they’d bought this house on Willow Brook they’d made fun of themselves for living in such grand surroundings. On the day they moved in they’d looked out of the front room window and made jokes about the ‘posh bird’ next door. Nina appeared to be posh in lots of ways, a snob even, but she was a good sort and she soon became Mel’s best friend. Was she really Mel’s best friend? Surely
I’ve
always been her best friend, he thought.

Tim spent the next two hours getting everything right before plucking up the courage to phone her and suggest the evening meal, together as a family. The phone rang and rang. Tim tried every ten minutes for over an hour. Maybe they’d been in an accident? No, he was sure that one of them would have been able to phone home in that case. Maybe she was in a bad area for the phone signal, that would be it. Blast... that meant she would go straight to McDonalds before he could reach her. Frustration was driving him so hard that his earlier inhibitions were cast aside. Within seconds he was next door, knocking on the kitchen window as he always did when he went round for Ben. Nina opened the door without acknowledging him and shouted up the stairs. “Ben, Tim’s here!”

“Actually Nina it was you I wanted.”

Nina turned to face him. She looked quite shocked. “Me?” she said. “I don’t want to play pool Tim and I couldn’t bear the thought of spending the afternoon in the Globe.”

Tim smiled politely despite the sarcasm, but the deeper meaning wasn’t lost on him. Nina was hitting out at him over the row that had dominated his life for two weeks. She made no attempt to hide her loyalty to Melanie.

“Nina, I was hoping to drive over to join Mel, and watch James playing his guitar but I’ve forgotten which school she said it was at. I was hoping you could help me.”

“Tim, you’ve also forgotten what instrument he’s playing, maybe you didn’t notice that James didn’t take his guitar with him? He’s playing the piano at Westcombe School. It’ll take you the best part of an hour to get there.” She looked at her wrist watch. “I’d say you’re too late... it’ll be finishing by three at the latest. You’d probably get there just in time to meet them coming home.”

At that moment Ben appeared in shorts and an old tennis top. “Give me five minutes Tim, I’ve just got to shave and get changed. Where are we going, the Globe or the King’s Arms?”

“Sorry Ben, I can’t stop. I’ll see you later.” Ben watched with astonishment as his friend headed rapidly back to his house.

Tim was unable to think straight as panic took over. He drove off in his red van, heading for Westcombe with no idea of what he was expecting to achieve. The traffic was heavy, as the Westcombe Road was also the shortest route from town to the motorway. The warm weather had brought out hundreds of cars, some with caravans, and some with boats, all intent on taking the motorway south towards the coast. His normally calm driving style was lost in a mixture of anger and frustration as he moved barely half a mile in twenty minutes. He cursed at the horse box in front of him. It was an hour and a half before he drove into Westcombe School.

The car park was almost empty. He flicked the button to lock the van as he ran towards the school entrance. Two women were walking slowly away from the main entrance, obviously engrossed in their conversation. Maybe they could tell him if the music club had finished. In truth he didn’t need them to tell him, it was obvious from the lack of cars. His face brandished the pain of his disappointment when they said it had finished an hour ago.

“My lad, James, was playing the piano ...I so wanted to be here but the traffic was bad. Now they’ll have gone for food and I need to find them.” A sudden thought hit him. “McDonalds,” he demanded, “Where is McDonalds?” ...as an afterthought he added, “please.”

“Well, I expect they’ll have gone to the big one by Sainsbury’s, that’s the one we always use, you can’t never park at the one by the station,” said one woman to the other, ignoring Tim.

“Please... can you tell me the quickest way to get to it?”

The woman began again, still addressing her friend rather than Tim.

“Well, I’d go out of here and turn left, down to the roundabout, go right round, then down past B & Q and turn into the car park for Sainsbury’s. Or he could go along the dual carriageway and over the railway; he’ll see McDonalds then, won’t he?”

“Thanks”. Tim left before they could debate the relative merits of another route.

He drove out of the school, turning left as instructed. Two minutes later he was at the roundabout. Did she say first turning? Go right round she’d said – what does that mean? I’ll end up going back the way I came. Just then he saw a Sainsbury’s lorry coming towards him, so that had to be the road to go down. Within seconds he saw McDonalds. Frantically he searched for his wife’s white Mondeo, but it wasn’t there. He hurried inside, desperately hoping to find them, but he already knew they’d left.

Despondently he trudged back to his van to start the journey home. The Westcombe Road traffic was just as bad in the homeward direction. What had started out as a rotten day had steadily deteriorated into a disaster. His sense of loss at having missed James’s piano performance and missing out on eating with them now made him inconsolable. He tried Mel’s phone again but it went straight to answerphone. He felt sick at the thought of spending another hour to get home. He’d succeeded in wasting a day, a precious day he could have spent with Melanie, with James and with Amy and instead he’d spent it alone. He hadn’t even made it to the playing field to watch Henry kick a ball about with his mates.