Yours Unfaithfully (10 page)

“And what about you, Ratty, have you moved on? Are you about to be married again?”

“I’d love to think so, but I haven’t asked the girl in question yet.”

His smile disarmed her as he lifted her two inches off the ground. She was experiencing something called happiness; happiness of a kind she had forgotten existed.

Ratty whispered in her ear, “I might ask her during lunch, but then again I might not, after all it’s a bit soon ...don’t you think, on our first date?”

She laughed happily at him.

Ratty had booked a window table, the best in the restaurant. It overlooked the river and part of the city with magnificent views of several church spires, as well as the park that led from the high street, near her office, down to the river. In the bright sunshine Melanie could see office workers taking their lunch breaks, spreading themselves out on the grass. It was like staring at a Lowry. Matchstick men and women scurrying around inside the picture frame of the window. It was quite the loveliest view of town she’d ever seen. She was enthralled, not for the first time today.

When Ratty spoke she was reawakened.

“The oysters here are quite special, I can recommend them.”

“Aren’t oysters an aphrodisiac?”

“So they say, but I doubt if the effect is so powerful that we will lose our self control here in the restaurant, do you?”

“No ...yes, I mean, yes I’d love to try the oysters.”

“Then we’ll both have them… maybe that will double their effect.”

“Is that what you’re really hoping for?”

“No, and yes, to use your words. No I don’t intend to pressure you, but yes I would be less than honest if I said I didn’t want to seduce you. But Melanie, every red blooded man between here and Land’s End must feel the same.”

“Well, none of them have mentioned it,” she said sarcastically, “at least not lately.”

He laughed at her. “That’s what I love about you; you can keep me in order so easily. I admire that quality. You are in absolute control all of the time, I find that very attractive, as I do every other asset of yours.”

“Have you been studying my assets, Ratty?”

“Possibly... but you weren’t supposed to notice.”

“Ratty... I know absolutely nothing about you. Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course, I would love you to interrogate me for hours. I want you to explore every detail of my past until you know me like you know your own hand, and then, when you have finished, I want to do the same to you. Is it a deal?”

“Well, I’m afraid it won’t be for hours, I’ve got to get home early tonight, I’ve got something on this evening. She wished she hadn’t mentioned that, in fact she wished she hadn’t even thought about it.”

“So, what is it you want to know Mel... please, I’m willing to tell you everything.”

“Well, where did you come from? I mean where did your parents come from? Not England, not originally at least.”

“Where do you think they came from?”

“I don’t know, somewhere in Africa, Lesotho perhaps, or maybe India or Pakistan?”

“Well I’ll tell you before you name every country in the world, and anyway you were getting very close. I was born in London of Bangladeshi parents. I grew up in London and I met Sharon on a skiing holiday in France. I married her in London ten years ago when I was twenty-two and I divorced her there two years ago.”

“That’s quite unusual for a Muslim to divorce, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it’s unusual but not unique. Life is changing, for Muslims as for everyone.”

“What do they do? Your parents... I mean your father; I assume he works in the City?”

Ratty laughed loudly and Melanie wondered what she had said to amuse him so.

“Yes, my father has worked in the City for years. They live in Brixton. He works at Brixton Bus Depot. He drives a number 159 bus up to Marble Arch every day.” He was still laughing.

She smiled in surprise because she had assumed from his Eton accent that he was the son of a merchant banker or a QC. It was funny to imagine him as the son of a bus driver.

“Are you disappointed Mel, did you think I was the son of a warrior chief or something?”

They laughed together as they shared the oysters.

Melanie opted for Dover Sole as this would not lay too heavily on her stomach. She couldn’t forget that this was only her first date of the day. In six hours time she had a dinner date with her husband. Ratty opted for the same main course as her. They were sharing an experience more intense than either had believed was possible.

“Where do you live now, Ratty?” Mel asked.

“If you lean out of this window and look about half a mile to the right you will see my apartment on the top floor of the new Quayside development overlooking the river, but I think its best you don’t lean out so far because you may fall. It would be easier if I took you there and showed you it in person, maybe next time we meet?”

They made easy conversation until the coffee was served, when Mel glanced at her watch. It was a quarter past three. It was time to leave him, but just like last time she found every possible excuse to delay their parting.

It was Ratty who finally made the move. “Melanie, I have to return to my office to read some papers and file a defence before I can go home tonight, however I can’t leave until I have extracted from you an agreement to meet me again, soon.”

“Ratty, I feel like the accused in the witness box. Can you forget your legal speak and ask me properly?”

Fully a minute passed before Ratty uttered another word.

“Melanie, I think I’m falling in love with you. I realise you can’t love me back and it’s unfair of me to say such a thing, knowing as I do, that you’re a married woman, but I can’t pretend this time that I want to meet for any other reason than that I love being with you. Can I see you again, tomorrow or maybe the day after?”

It was Melanie’s turn to be silent, shocked in fact. “Ratty, I have it on reliable information that you have half the women in your office chasing madly after you. Young women, beautiful women, single women... I am eight years older than you, why me?”

“If I knew the answer to that, Melanie, I’d gladly tell you, but as yet my heart hasn’t shared this secret with my head.”

“Ratty, I should say no, I should thank you for lunch and leave now and yet I don’t want to. You know I’m married, yet even so you may find what I’m about to tell you hard to believe. Tim and I have been married for eighteen years and he is the only man that I have ever slept with. For some strange reason I don’t feel guilty for being with you, it seems so right, but I know I should be. You must accept that it can’t go any further. If you really enjoy being with me, as I enjoy being with you then we can meet again, perhaps like today, but only as friends. Do you understand how difficult this is for me? After only two times together I have strong feelings for you, feelings that are not right. How am I supposed to feel when I go home to Tim, my husband? Tonight Tim is taking me out for a meal. I don’t even want to go but he is trying hard to mend our relationship. We had a huge row a couple of weeks ago and we haven’t been getting on very well since then. I’m feeling confused at the moment. I enjoy being with you, you can see that, but I can’t betray Tim. He hasn’t done anything wrong. He loves me and he loves our three children. You must see that I can never be anything to you; you’re wasting your time with me. You’d be better to let me work things out with Tim and take out some of the girls Nina told me about, they’re just waiting for you to invite them.”

“Melanie, if it were that easy I would do as you ask. Since that evening at Nina’s house you have never been out of my head for more than an hour, except when I sleep. When I wake up in the morning you are there, when I clean my teeth, when I eat my breakfast. All day long you pop in and out of my head. I am in love with you Melanie.”

“But don’t you see Ratty, you can’t love me? I’m not free to love you back. You’ll just end up hurting yourself. You may end up hurting me too.”

“How can I hurt you Mel... unless, of course, you love me?”

“I didn’t say I loved you. I can’t love you. It’s impossible, but I do like you... a lot. It would be better if we didn’t see each other again and I think I should make this decision to save both of us from getting hurt.”

“May I phone you Mel, at least you can talk to me can’t you?”

“‘OK, but that’s all. You can phone during my lunch break, between one and two.”

“Thanks.”

They walked out into the sunshine together. Ratty gave Mel the kind of embrace usually reserved for old friends. They smiled at each other and then turned away to walk in opposite directions.

Five minutes later, Mel was back at her desk in the bank with her head still spinning. Roddy was the first to question her. ‘How was your appointment Mel, did you do the bank proud, was the speech what you’d expected?’

‘Yes Roddy, I think I did the bank proud and I think you could say it was a very good speech, but no, it certainly wasn’t what I’d expected.’

Melanie decided she would feel better if she changed her clothes completely before going on her date with Tim. It might ease her feelings of guilt for one thing. She found a white knee length dress which was drawn across from each shoulder to meet at her waist, a bit like an Indian sari. She knew it flattered her and she owed it to her husband to try to look her best tonight.

Tim arrived home especially early and was in the shower as she was preparing for their night out. He put on his best brown trousers and a cream open necked shirt with cuff links. She studied him briefly in her dressing table mirror. He looked smart but his clothes were in no way fashionable. Perhaps that was her fault, maybe she should insist on taking him shopping and helping him choose some decent clothes. Visions of Ratty filled her mind. She wouldn’t have to show him how to buy clothes. His dress sense wanted for nothing despite being without a wife for two years. They were so different, Tim and Ratty. She sat staring into her dressing table mirror. Tim and Ratty, she said softly to herself, were there really two men in her life?

How could she be attracted to a man so different to the one with whom she’d shared the last twenty years. Had she changed that much? If this evening was to be a success, she had to put Ratty right out of her mind, yet that was like asking her to sacrifice a piece of herself, a piece that was growing day by day.

They went in Melanie’s car, but Tim insisted on driving. He conceded that the van wasn’t a great way to arrive at The Walnut Tree. She wondered if he was driving so that she could drink, or was it that he didn’t trust her driving? She’d always expected him to drive when they went out together, but these days it was such a rare occurrence that she found herself resenting him for taking control.

The Italian Maitre de oozed charm from every pore of his body as he smiled softly and showed them to a table for two in a small alcove near the window. He leaned close to Melanie as he lit the candle and she enjoyed a hint of Chanel for men. He promised to send aux deuvres along with the menu. After taking their order for apéritifs he headed away to welcome another group of diners.

Melanie glanced out of the window, only to be gripped by panic as she saw a silver sports car park alongside her Mondeo. Was it an Aston Martin? She could ask Tim, he’d know what it was. There was no reason, outside her head, why she shouldn’t ask, and anyway it would help to make some conversation, which they were desperately in need of in order to break the ice.

“Tim, what make is that car next to mine?”

“It’s an Aston Martin DB7, she’s a beauty, what I’d give to drive that for a day”.

“You mean you’d swap your precious van for one of those? Surely not”! She was being sarcastic again and the poor bloke had only made a simple and quite reasonable remark. What the hell was wrong with her? She softened her sarcasm with forced laughter. “Tim, how would you carry all your tools in that?”

“He hadn’t noticed that she was ridiculing him. He was happy, blissfully enjoying their evening out together.”

“Well, perhaps I could tow a little trailer behind it for all my junk?” he joked.

She’d got away with that remark, but if this evening wasn’t to end in disaster she had to start trying harder. The driver got out of the Aston and walked around to his passenger. He had his back towards her, but he was fairly tall and from this distance she couldn’t be sure. Could it really be Ratty? What if he was eating at the next table to them? As he turned, her mind was on the woman he was escorting towards the entrance. Who the hell was she? As they got nearer she gave a sigh of relief as she saw that they were both complete strangers. Her heart resumed its normal rhythm. Her Dubonnet arrived along with Tim’s beer. She picked up a menu and began to study it.

“I bet any money you’ll have the prawn cocktail for starters.” Tim said cheerfully.

“Actually I thought I’d have the whitebait, but you got the fish bit right! Let me guess what you’re having... garlic mushrooms, yes?”

“Of course Mel, I always have garlic mushrooms, you know that.”

“I know because you are totally predictable Tim, just don’t ask for tomato ketchup or I promise you I’ll get up and leave.”

“If that’s meant to be a joke, Mel, it’s not funny. You seem a bit prickly tonight. What’s wrong?”

“Well for one thing those trousers you’re wearing. Look around you Tim, look at the guy who’s just walked in, look at his trousers and then look at yours. They are ten years out of date, they’re the sort your Dad would wear.”

“Christ Mel, I don’t believe this. If you didn’t want me to wear these then why didn’t you say before we left home?”

“What was the choice Tim? Those or your bloody overalls I suppose. You don’t take any pride in yourself any more. And what’s that smell you’ve got on?”

“It’s Brut, you know bloody well what it is.”

“Yes Tim, I do and I expect everyone else in here knows as well. That’s probably why he sat us in this corner and why everyone at that table is laughing.”

“Why? What’s wrong with Brut. You’ve always liked it up until now.”