Yours Unfaithfully (13 page)

Nina sat down at the kitchen table, shocked at what she’d just done, and shocked at his willingness to walk out on sixteen years of marriage. Was that all it meant to him? A couple of days spent with that little floozy and she’d lost him? Not that she cared, she didn’t want him anyway. It just seemed so empty without his big frame taking up space around her at a time when she would normally be getting the evening meal. I’m being stupid, she thought, he hasn’t been gone for five minutes and I’m missing him? As if! Yet deep inside, Nina had this niggling feeling that it wasn’t quite the victory she’d thought it would be. She looked at the clock on the cooker. Too early to go round to Mel’s. The kids had already had their meal, the housekeeper saw to that each evening before she left. They were upstairs doing homework, and by the time they’d finished it, it would be their bedtime. She’d go up now and kiss them goodnight, so that she could slip out in a while to go next door.

The children were intently discussing their father’s words to them before he’d left the house. “What did Dad mean when he said he had to go away for a few days?” Gus was clearly concerned.

“It’s this new job of his, love, he’s got to do a long distance trip, but don’t worry he’ll be back before you can say, ‘where’s he gone’?” She hoped she sounded convincing. It seemed to satisfy Gus and the others didn’t ask any more questions. She left them to get on and retreated downstairs. At a quarter to seven she couldn’t wait any longer. She quietly crept out of the back door and made her way round to Mel’s kitchen.

“Come in Neen, I’m almost finished clearing up after feeding my lot. Had a good day?”

One look at Nina’s face told Mel she hadn’t, and no doubt she would hear all about it in the next hour or two. “Neen, I’m not going to touch any wine tonight. God I don’t know how I got to work this morning. I went in an hour late, told Sam the Office Manager that I had women’s problems. When I got in the lift to go up to my office my head started spinning again and I did almost no work before lunch. I’m strictly teetotal tonight. What about you?”

“Well, I think I might need a drink. In fact, you might when I tell you what I’ve done. I didn’t go in at all today; It was all I could do to stand this morning. Ben phoned in and said I was bad and I rang in at lunch time because I was supposed to be working on the first job Ratty had given me for Stellar Haufman. Good bloody start that was wasn’t it? He must be well impressed. First day and I let him down. He’s probably regretting giving me the job already. Luckily he was out when I rang, but I’ll have to face him tomorrow. I don’t know what to tell him.”

“Tell him the truth Neen, he already knows anyway.”

“How can he know? No one knows how pissed we were last night, except Ben and I heard him phone in. He just said I wasn’t well. The only other person who knew what a state I was in was you.... Oh no, not again Mel. You have ...haven’t you? You’ve bloody told him I got pissed and was too drunk to get to work on my first day in my new position. Great, absolutely bloody great. So, am I fired? What have you two decided? Wait a minute... when did you tell him this, have you seen him today?”

“Neen, when he was out to lunch he was with me. He called me and asked me to meet him in the wine bar on the quay and then he took me up to see his apartment in that new Quayside development. Oh, you should see it Neen, it’s like something on one of those TV shows. You can’t even begin to imagine how fabulous it is.”

“Well I’m not likely to get an invite now am I? Why, why did you have to tell him? Come on Mel, you’re my best friend and I feel like you’ve shitted on me. Why?”

“Neen, I haven’t done any such thing. I told him how Ben was upsetting you, he was very sympathetic, I also told him how fed up I am with Tim. I told him about that stupid evening at The Walnut Tree and how Tim showed me up. I said we were both feeling pretty low because of our partners and how we had got a bit drunk together. I actually said it was my fault. I told him you were just helping to sort me out and my problems. He was fine about it, he said he’d do anything he could to help, either of us I mean. Neen, he is the most genuine person I’ve ever met. He couldn’t be unkind if he tried. You’ve nothing to worry about, trust me. He was very concerned about me and about my being unhappy. He said I can go to his apartment any time, night or day, if I need to talk to him. He said he’ll be there for me, no pressure, just a shoulder to cry on. I
can
talk to him, that’s the funny thing; I can talk to him so easily, in a way I never talk to Tim. Why?”

“We were at his place for over two hours and I had to make another excuse when I got back to work, bearing in mind I was late getting in in the first place. Ratty is a great listener, he put his arms round me and held me. I felt as if all my problems had dissolved. He has this wonderful effect on me. He only has to put his arms around me and I’m relaxed, totally.”

“So what happened then, Mel, you stood there for two hours like that?”

“No, not exactly.”

“So exactly how did you stand?”

“We didn’t stand.”

“Jesus, Mel, you haven’t slept with him?”

“No, I haven’t, but we did sit in his big chair together... “

“That must have been very uncomfortable. Only got one chair has he?”

“Of course not, all he did was comfort me... he’s so good at that, honestly... Tim would never snuggle me up the way Ratty did. He’s a good friend and the way my head is lately I need a friend. It’s lucky we met that night.”

“Lucky for him... lucky bastard. I’m not sure I want to work for him after all. I can see what he’s going to be like. I said he was beautiful, didn’t I. There’s going to be knickers all over his office floor... young girls from every department crying their eyes out as he casts them aside for the next one, and to think I actually fancied him. Mel you’ve been daft, but you can put this right if you stop now. Tell Mr Romeo Rattani tomorrow that it’s over. Tell him you love your husband. That his affections caught you unaware in a moment of weakness brought on by the stress and anxiety of a problem in your marriage. Say you are willing to forgive him for taking advantage of the situation and that you trust he will have the decency to protect your good name, so that you can restore your marriage to its former status. Got that Mel? Tell him over the phone, but make sure no one’s listening and then forget all about him. You’ve had a very close thing there, but thank god you’ve seen sense before it’s too late. Tim is a wonderful man, Mel, he doesn’t deserve this. You’d better hope he never finds out.”

“Neen, I’m seeing Ratty again, tomorrow lunch time. I can’t help it; honest, I know what I’m doing. I think I want him more than I want anything else.”

“What a mess we’re in... I’ve got no man and you’ve got two. Ben’s got that overweight trollop from the pub, you’ve got my boss and all I’ve got is a bloody headache from last night. The funny thing is, Mel, I’m missing Ben. I can’t believe it either, but I am. I’m frightened Mel, what if I’ve driven him off for good? I know I want him back. I can’t go to bed tonight and stare at his pillow, knowing he’s with her. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life on my own”.

With that, Nina broke down and cried. Mel put her arm around her best friend and in seconds she was crying too. What had they done?

As Ben drove towards Sophie’s flat he thought only about the consequences if she refused to let him in. It was a possibility after all. Had she been serious when she invited him to stay with her? The thought of returning home in less than an hour was pretty grim and would result in a serious loss of face, from which he could never hope to recover in the eyes of his wife. If Nina thought he was a ‘waste of space’ now, what would she say when she knew that, not only did she not want him, nor did anyone else. No, the idea of going back home tonight was out of the question. Sophie was more than a little surprised to see him at her door clutching his overnight bag, but he hardly needed to explain. “Come on then, come on in,” she said in her usual cheerful manner. Ben followed her into the flat, trying to take in as much detail as he could without overtly invading her privacy. It was clear that the one bedroom flat wasn’t the tidiest place on earth, but it was scrupulously clean.

She indicated with her left hand. “That’s my bedroom and opposite is the bathroom. Through here is my lounge diner and at the back my kitchen. In short Ben, everything I need. Stick your bag down there and I’ll get you a cup of tea. You’d better tell me exactly what’s happened.”

Ben related word for word the verbal exchange with his wife which had resulted in him being here, in her armchair, in her flat. He took comfort from her sincerity and from her willingness to listen, but he couldn’t help feeling that he was an intrusion in the organised chaos that was her life. Her clothes lay everywhere, a bra on the back of the settee and jeans and socks on the floor. One shoe lay in the middle of the room waiting to be reunited with its other half. There was a personal feel to this domain that was entirely different from the home he was used to. In his house everyone had their own room where items of clothing might be left lying about, but in the rest of the house, in the shared areas like the lounge, that would never happen. Although Sophie didn’t seem in the slightest concerned at his intrusion, he felt distinctly uneasy. This wasn’t how he’d imagined moving in with Sophie would be when she’d thrown the invitation his way earlier that day. She returned from the kitchen grasping two mugs of tea and offered him one. She sat down on the sofa and looked him straight in the face.

“Well Ben, do you think you can sleep on this OK? It’s not as good as a bed, I know, but it’ll do until she lets you back into your own little love shack”.

Ben’s mind was in turmoil. He’d walked out on his wife to live with the girl he worked with. But truth was dawning speedily and with startling reality. He had read more into her invitation than she’d ever intended. He was a guest, offered the sofa as a temporary respite from the war zone that he’d just escaped from. Was she waiting for him to make the first move? Would she think him wet if he stayed under her roof for a few nights without making a move on her? It might even be rude, like saying I don’t fancy you, sorry, I don’t mind shacking up in your lounge on your sofa, but sleep with you? No thanks.

“Sophie, I’m a bit confused right at this moment and I need to know where I stand. You’re a hell of a good looking girl and you must have realised I fancy you rotten. I’ve just walked out of a heavy relationship that ended a long time ago. How long do you want me to sleep on your sofa? What I mean is how long is a respectable time before I can move my stuff into your room?”

Sophie burst out laughing. She certainly wasn’t offended by anything he’d said and that could only be good. He waited for her to set out the timetable for their future together.

“Ben, you are a big oaf. I can see why she gets her hair off with you, but don’t worry, I’m not about to scream and shout at you. Right, here’s the way it’s going to work.”

Ben sat forward, leaning on his knees, his posture one of concentration, glued to her every word. This was what he had been waiting for, a guide to how married men glide effortlessly from the scorn of an angry wife into the bosom of a young and single woman.

“You are going to sleep on this sofa and eat at that table. Eat, that is, anything you make yourself in that kitchen through there. Once you’ve eaten you’re going to wash up all your plates and saucepans and hang them up where you found them. I’m going to sleep in my room and we are going to share the bathroom. If you see me dashing about in the morning in nothing more than my knickers it’s just because I’m in a rush and I’ve forgotten you’re here. Just ignore me. As for moving into my room, Ben, that isn’t going to happen. I have dozens of friends, Ben, lots of them crash out here from time to time, but I don’t sleep around. You may think I’m an easy lay and it’s obvious your wife thinks so, but that’s probably because deep down she has no morals herself. I’m sorry to have to disappoint you, Ben. We’re mates and I’ll give you a roof while she’s refusing to do so, but I won’t be providing any home comforts of the kind you are missing already by the sound of it. Sorry, but those are the rules, Ben. Now make yourself at home.”

Ben watched her disappear towards her room, harvesting items of clothing as she went. This wasn’t turning out quite as he’d expected. He looked down at his six foot frame and compared it to the sofa. Any hope of sleep on that was futile. An hour or two maybe, if he was lucky. A good night’s sleep? No, it wasn’t possible. A sudden fear grabbed him as he realised he’d walked out of a lovely home where he had every comfort, well, except the love of a good woman, and into a flat where he was to be permitted to snatch some sleep on the sofa and make himself a snack, provided he accepted the role of kitchen porter into the bargain. The things that had initially attracted him to this move were turning into vapour. He couldn’t stay here long, or he’d end up a hunch back, a very tired hunch back. He wondered if it was worth pointing out to Sophie the comparative dimensions of her sofa and his body. Maybe later. He turned on the TV and stared at the screen in a trance of bewilderment. He returned over and over to the moment when he’d issued his declaration to Nina. Perhaps I was a bit hasty, he thought; maybe I could give her a second chance. Her words resounded in his ears; he knew it was him who needed the second chance. Who was he kidding? He’d never been in control of this situation. All he’d done was make it easy for Nina to chuck him out. Getting back in would be much harder if not impossible. If he just turned up with his little bag of belongings she would probably refuse to let him over the threshold. She might have even changed the locks. God, how the tit tats in the street would love that; that bloody woman in pink two doors down who never missed a thing. She’d see him struggling to get his key in the door and then watch him turn away as it didn’t fit. The whole street would be laughing in five minutes once they knew that he was a refugee. The situation was beginning to look bleak. He glanced at his watch, he hadn’t been gone two hours and already he was sinking fast. Perhaps Nina was right, maybe he was useless, a waste of space. Is this how men start on the road to becoming a tramp, he thought? He pictured himself a year from now, a long beard, unwashed, and carrying the little bag, by then in tatters, and preparing to sleep under a hedge. Ben you’re in a bit of a fix mate, he said to himself. Better sort this out and quick!