Yours Unfaithfully (17 page)

“Mel, do you think this might sound better coming from you?”

“Tim, this isn’t going to sound better coming from anyone! He’s your mate... you tell her.”

At precisely seven o’clock, Tim knocked on next door’s kitchen door and gently pushed it open.

“You there, Nina?”

“Oh hi, Tim, come in, you’ve some news on my truanting husband I hope? Do you want a cup of tea, I’m just making one?”

“Thanks, that’ll be good... Neen, that’s why I’m here, to tell you the latest on Ben.”

“Go in the lounge, I’ll bring the tea in.” It sounded like a command.

Tim sat waiting as Nina poured the boiling water onto the tea bags. He heard the spoon clink on the cup as she stirred in the milk. She came in smiling and held out a mug to him. He could only delay this by a few more seconds at most. He sipped the hot tea and looked at her. Her expression was one of anticipation as she prepared herself for news of the imminent return of her man. She gave him a soft smile as she waited patiently for him to start.

“Neen... it’s not good news about Ben I’m afraid.”

“Don’t tell me... he’s lost that job you got him already?”

“No, it’s not that Neen, he didn’t take the job, he’s still driving the parts van for Mick.”

“But you said he’d pack that in, you said he would do it for
me
, like I asked... why hasn’t he?”

“Neen, please don’t get angry, he’s met a girl called Beckie and he’s staying with her in town. I phoned him today, otherwise I wouldn’t know any of this. I haven’t seen him for days. It seems he met her in a club and... and... I don’t know what he intends to do now.”

“Tim, what did he say? Did he say he’s not coming home? Is that it, he’s left me for this Beckie? Oh my god, Tim, please tell me it isn’t true. I really am alone now; he’s never coming back now is he?”

“Neen, you know Ben, give it a few days and it’ll all fizzle out. He’ll come crawling back, begging forgiveness and in a few weeks you’ll both be fine again.”

“Tim, you know that’s not true.”

Nina stood up and clutched at the kitchen door, pushing her forehead into her arm to hide the tears that rolled down her face. She was whimpering pitifully and that upset Tim.

He instinctively went to her and put his arm around her shoulder, gently prising her from her hold on the door. She let him turn her until she was facing him, and he pulled her head into his shoulder. His arms surrounded her waist to stop her crumpling before him. She was weeping for something that was almost certainly over. Tim gently moved her, taking her head in both hands he held her like a child. Her eyes were filled with sorrow and in a desperate effort to stop her crying he pulled her face close to his.

He couldn’t bear to see her like this, but then Tim couldn’t bear to see anyone unhappy. With her wet face pressed tightly to his she was in his charge now, unable to do anything for herself. She was like a child, completely reliant on Tim to get her through the trauma she was facing. He pulled her body close to him as he cradled her head. He tasted the tears that were now wetting his face as well as hers and he became aware of his own desire to protect her, to make her better. There was something very good about the feeling that came from fulfilling the intimate needs of another human being. She needed his tenderness at this moment and he gave it, unconditionally. He gave her strength, injected from his body to hers by an abstract force he couldn’t understand or explain. It charged them both with a burst of emotional energy.

Time was of no consequence. What was important was that he was sharing a physical experience with a woman who, until now, had barely been a friend. She was allowing him to nestle her body into his, submitting to his control. How strange that he should have so much power over Nina when at home he had no emotional influence with his own wife. When she was unhappy she pushed him away, demonstrating she didn’t need him, making it clear that his attempts to caress and care for her were neither helpful nor appreciated.

Why then, was Nina absorbing his kindness so readily? Why was it that the woman of his best friend could accept his arms so willingly, surrendering herself completely to his protection? With Nina he was achieving the ultimate role of manhood, the way he imagined it should be, as he wanted it to be. In this jungle that was life, he was fending off the evil that was hurting her; he was taking on the role of her defender. She was willingly allowing him to take total responsibility for her well being. He was happy with this, after all this was the role he’d sought to provide in his own marriage since the beginning, but which had been rejected so often of late. leaving him to feel rejected and unwanted.

If he was giving Nina inner strength right now it was nothing to what she was giving him. His self esteem had spiralled overnight. He would be her counsellor, friend and protector with a willingness fuelled by deep feelings within, feelings he could not describe but which rewarded him with a pleasure greater than anything he could remember. He was caring for Nina because her husband had abandoned her. He had picked her up from where Ben had cast her down. How could Ben leave his wife for a girl he’d known just a few days? Tim felt the warmth of Nina’s body through his shirt. He didn’t know how long he’d been holding her but he had no desire to let her go. Gently holding her face he moved her until just a few inches separated them. They stared into each other’s eyes, unsure of how they had arrived here. Slowly he closed the gap until his lips met with hers. He was ashamed of what he was doing; frightened that her gratitude would turn to anger but instead of pushing him away she opened her mouth willing his tongue to touch hers.

Slowly they explored each other’s bodies as if expecting to find something previously unknown but what they found excited them in a way neither of them had known in years. It was like the first time all over again, as neither of them had felt the hot flush of sexual gratification in a long long time. It was impossible to tear away now that it was engulfing them. They gave themselves willingly to what was inevitable, gradually Nina’s tears of sorrow turned to tears of joy. They held each other tightly as they made their way upstairs and neither saw anything except the other. For two hours they pressed every inch of their bodies into each other in an outpouring of love and affection which required to be constantly re-consumated through more and more contact. They excitedly pulled at each other and gave themselves unreservedly. It was half past nine when Nina finally released Tim sufficiently to whisper, “You must go home, Mel will be wondering why you have been so long.”

Tim pulled her to him once more and kissed every inch of her face before conceding to the inevitable. He would have to leave her. As they pulled on their clothes they still held on to each other. The feelings that had been aroused tonight were too strong to walk away from without pain and suffering. They made their way downstairs and stood together in the kitchen. Every minute now seemed worth stealing and they held each other a while longer as they readied themselves for the inevitable parting. They had hardly said a word since they had first consumed each other, but they both had a head full of things that needed to be said. Tim spoke first.

“Nina, please don’t think badly of me after I leave. I couldn’t help what happened tonight and I’m not sorry for what we did. In fact I’m happier at this moment than I have been in a long, long time. I’ve discovered myself tonight ... you gave me your body with more love than I could ever have imagined possible. This can’t end when I walk out that door Nina ...please tell me that you aren’t angry at what we’ve done”.

“You know how it was Tim, I could hardly pretend that I didn’t enjoy this evening could I? But think about our circumstances. Mel is my best friend. We may have feelings for each other but we can’t do this again. We can’t Tim, I shall feel terrible about this when I see Mel tomorrow, but I promise you I will never say a word. Thanks Tim, thanks for making me whole again. You’ve mended my broken heart and my broken body. I shall love you as a friend forever after tonight. Go now before I start to cry again. She softly pushed him out of the door and into the garden, holding onto him just long enough for them to exchange one last kiss before he disappeared out of sight.

Tim was glad that Mel was busy upstairs with the children; hopefully she wouldn’t notice how long he’d been. He put the television on and tried to feign interest in the programme ready for when she came down, but his head was full of what had happened next door. It seemed unreal, impossible even that when he had left this house almost three hours ago he could claim one hundred per cent fidelity to his wife and now he was an adulterer, but much worse than that, he had made love to his wife’s best friend, and his best friend’s wife.

On a scale of one to ten he had scored top marks as a bad husband and a shit friend. Yet he still felt secretly pleased with himself and his desire to return to next door was overwhelming. “Why don’t I feel guilty?” he asked himself. If justification were all that was needed to absolve him from blame it was easy, his wife was treating him like shit and his best friend was bonking some girl he’d only known a few days. Why then, shouldn’t he and Nina console each other like two old friends? Well, for a start Nina had never been very friendly to him, seeing him as an extension of Ben most of the time. The dichotomy was about to split his head when Mel’s voice made him jump.

“Well, what did she say?”

He turned to where she was standing and gave her a scared look.

“Tim, what is wrong with you? For the third time, what did she say? You look awful... is she all right?”

“Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in. Yes, she’s fine... everything’s OK.”

Melanie looked amazed. “How can she be fine? You’ve just told her that her husband has left her for a younger model and yet, everything’s fine. You’ve been round there for hours; will you please tell me exactly what she said?”

“Well, I can’t remember exactly but she cried quite a lot and I tried to tell her not to worry. I said he’d probably come back in a while when he was fed up with Beckie and that seemed to satisfy her.”

“Tim, you’re hopeless... you’ve left her upset and miserable haven’t you? I’m going round there to see how she is. I daresay you watched football on her TV while she was crying her eyes out, probably distraught. Who knows what she might do? I’d better go and pick up the pieces. I should have known you’d only make things worse.”

“No, don’t go round Mel, honest she’s fine... all you’ll do is start her off again. She was fine when I left. I think she’s accepted that it’s over and she’s ready to move on.”

“Well I’ll see for myself, I’m not going to abandon my best friend when she needs me most, that’s for certain, and with that Mel left by the kitchen door.”

There wasn’t time to ring Nina and warn her. She wasn’t going to be expecting a visit from Mel so soon after what had just happened. What if she broke down and confessed everything? Mel would come storming back screaming at him and this time he would be the one getting thrown out. Should he go up and start packing? No, he’d go up and spend the next few minutes with the kids; after all he might not be seeing them for weeks if Mel barred him from the house. He tried talking to James about his forthcoming London concert, but he quickly realised that he was the only one who didn’t already know what had been arranged. He kissed the lad goodnight and gave him a fatherly hug. Amy was already asleep and even Henry seemed surprised at his sudden interest in them.

“Am I taking you to football this Saturday, Henry?” He hoped he could make an arrangement that would guarantee him access to at least one of the children this weekend.

“No Dad, I’m going with Garry, his dad’s taking us. He never works Saturdays so it’s better we go with him, then we’re certain of transport, and his dad’s a pretty useful player himself so he gives us quite a bit of coaching.”

The gulf that Tim had allowed to grow between himself and his family was coming back to bite him. All those Saturdays spent messing about with cars and playing pool with Ben were now costing him any hope of saving his marriage. Why, he wondered, do you only ever see you’re mistakes when it’s too late. He hung around a few minutes longer, but the kids were all back into their own things and he was acutely aware that he wasn’t serving any useful purpose by staying there. He made his way downstairs, dejected and frightened. Any minute now the door would slam behind a raging Mel, shouting at him to get out. Perhaps it would be simpler if he was gone before she returned, but then he would still have to face her sooner or later. He considered putting on a show of strength and refusing to leave, after all this was his house as well as hers. Sleeping on the settee would be better than sleeping in his van tonight and as long as he was in the house he had a slim chance of appealing to her to give him another chance. Before he could arrive at a decision she was back. She kicked off her shoes and slumped down in an armchair.

“Well, it seems you’re right for once. She’s taken it really well, so well in fact that I don’t think she will have him back whatever happens. Only yesterday she was crying her eyes out for him, saying she couldn’t face life as a single parent. I don’t know what you said to her, but well done, Tim, I obviously underestimated you. I’m about ready for bed... what about you? I know I said we can’t make love at the moment but this latest upset has made me realise that I need to try a bit harder to please you. What I’m trying to say, Tim... is… do you want to make love to me tonight?”

He hesitated as he considered the madness of what was happening to him. He’d gone for weeks without any passion in his life, thanks to Mel’s refusal to let him near her and tonight, after he’d just made love to his neighbour for two hours, Mel was seeking to do the same.

“Well, I thought you’d be pleased... but if it’s that hard to make your mind up we won’t bother.”

“Sorry Mel, of course I want to, it’s just that you took me by surprise after the way it’s been lately.”

He took her hand, turned off the TV and the light and closed the lounge door behind them. As they quietly climbed the stairs his head was in turmoil. Could he really make love to Mel as if everything was normal, when an hour ago he’d been in bed with the woman next door? To his surprise he found it quite easy to meet Mel’s expectations, but the episode didn’t excite him nearly as much making love to Nina had. He kissed Mel goodnight and tried to go to sleep. He wished he was next door in Nina’s bed where his feelings had been so eagerly aroused. If making love to Mel had proved anything to him it was that he didn’t feel the same excitement at touching her as he did Nina. Sleep saved him from further deliberation.