Yours Unfaithfully (36 page)

“When you say hers, Ben, don’t you mean yours?”

“I suppose so, but Nina always told them what to do and when to do it. She never trusted me to take them anywhere or do much with them. I doubt if they’ve missed me much, to tell you the truth. It’ll be different with Beckie. We’ll do everything together, like it should be.”

“That’s nice, Ben, very nice. So what do you want me to tell Nina, any message?”

“Tell her that seeing as how she’s having it away with another man he can pay for the kids.”

“You’re a crude bugger, Ben, I can see why she chucked you out.”

“Well tell her she did me a favour, will you?”

“No, Ben, I won’t. I think Nina deserves a break, she’s had a lot to put up with over the years, come on, be honest. You were never going to be runner up for ‘Husband of the Year’ were you?”

“You don’t get it, Tim, it’s not about winning medals for being a shining example of a husband, it’s about simple things, like looking out for each other, showing a bit of affection. Beckie is all over me like a rash when I come in at night, lets me see how much she’s missed me since the morning, that’s what it’s about. Nina wouldn’t know how to be affectionate if her life depended on it.”

Tim’s thoughts raced back to last night ... and the night before. He could easily have argued Nina’s case with the benefit of his first hand experience, but he couldn’t risk Ben knowing what was going on with his ex-wife, no, not ex-wife,
his wife.

“So, will you be going for a divorce soon, Ben?”

“Don’t know, I’ll probably leave it to Neen, after all she’s a bloody solicitor, she can get it cost price, or even do it herself I suppose. I can’t afford solicitors’ bills and anyway Beckie and I aren’t that bothered about paperwork and stuff. We’ve got each other, that’s what counts.”

Although frustrated at Ben’s simplistic view of life, Tim envied the way he could be happy with nothing more than a bedsit relationship with a girl half his age. But then Ben had never worried about anything, and in a funny way that was his strength. Tim had heard enough about Beckie for one night. He couldn’t cope with more questions about Nina’s possible infidelity, the conversation was getting far to close to his own involvement with her.

‘We’d better play some pool before I forget which end of the cue to poke the balls with,’ he said.

Jim rang the bell to call time promptly at eleven, said he couldn’t be doing with all night opening, needed his sleep too much for that. They finished their game and promised to meet up again soon. Walking back from the pub Tim had time to reflect on things. It was complicated, a real mess. He was being unfaithful to Mel, his lovely wife, the woman he’d treasured for twenty years, he’d just lied to Ben, his best mate, and he was using Neen, someone who’d offered him friendship, but from whom he’d taken so much more. He looked up at the dark sky, full of tiny stars, one bright one shone out, much brighter than all the others. He tried to figure out where it was, it seemed to be in the East. Could that star be looking down on Poland, looking at Mel and at him and keeping an eye on both of them? He thought about Ben’s words. Ben was right about Mel, she was probably lying in her bed right at this minute crying herself to sleep. He thought about how good it had been when they got back from France, how happy she’d been at him getting that job. He should have trusted her, never doubted her, all he’d done was upset her even more and she had a hard enough time being apart from him without that extra pressure. The time had passed when he could have second thoughts about getting involved with Nina; he couldn’t undo what had already been done.

What a pity it was too late to ring Mel. It would do her good to hear my voice, to have her know I’m thinking of her, tell her not to cry but to try and get through the next week until we’re together again. He saw Nina’s light on, she’d be waiting for him. She’d told him to let himself in whatever time he got back, she wanted an update on Ben and his ‘grubby little affair’. But what about their affair? Wasn’t that grubby? What should he do? He stood on the pavement looking at the two houses – this path or that one? It seemed symbolic somehow, like it was a defining moment in his future. This path led to his own bed, his and Mel’s bed, his home, his kids home... this path led straight to Nina, and the comfort she could give him as he tried to get through another lonely night, struggling to get to sleep until first light, then sleeping for a couple of hours until he was forced to get up for work. At least with Nina he would sleep, after a while. In his bed he would be lucky to get two hours’ sleep. What if he fell asleep at the wheel tomorrow, that wouldn’t help Mel, would it, or the kids? No, it made sense to go and talk to Nina for a while. He probably wouldn’t stay, he’d just talk with her until he was tired and then slip back to his house for some sleep. Nina welcomed him with a hug and a smile.

“Did you have a nice evening, Tim? Did you see Ben? I’m glad you’re back, I’ll make you a hot drink before we go up to bed.”

“Thanks, Neen that’ll be lovely.”

He knew he couldn’t go back to his house tonight. He’d known that before he stepped onto her path. Why had he pretended that he could make that decision? He wasn’t strong enough to do the right thing? He’d have to end this before the week was out, He’d tell Nina that he’d made a mistake, one he was sorry about, but he had to do what was right. She’d understand, but it could wait a few more days. They went up to her room and in minutes she was cuddled into him, only the duvet covering their modesty.

“What did he say? Did he ask about me?”

“Not really, Neen, he said that him and Beckie are trying for a baby. Actually he told me before but I didn’t tell you, I thought it was just Ben talking rubbish, but he means it.”

“Well good luck to her, I hope he gives her three and then walks out on her, like he did me”

“I asked him if he plans to divorce you.”

“And... What did he say to that?”

“He reckons it’ll have to be down to you, you being a lawyer and all that.”

“Oh, I’ll see to it all right. I’ll see to him as well. I’ll extract every penny from him, not that he’s got many to start with. If she wants him she can have him, but she’d better get used to supporting him because he’ll never be able to afford to look after her. I should know, I kept him for all our years together.”

“Neen, do you think that’s fair? “

“Fair? What’s bloody fair, Tim? He walked out and left me with three children, his children, was that fair?”

“Of course not, but he’s gone, you earn loads more than he does, you don’t need his money do you?”

“That’s not the point, why should he get off scot free? Why should he spend what he earns on that little trollop when I’m left here alone?”

“You’re not alone now are you?”

“That’s only thanks to you, Tim, I rely on you more than I ever did that useless good for nothing.”

“Neen, what are we going to do next week, when Mel gets back?”

“That’s up to you, Tim, but if I have to lose one of you as a friend I’d sooner it was her. It’s a hard thing to say and it would be even harder to do but I’ve got used to this, Tim, I would miss you terribly.”

“But, Neen, we both knew it was only while Mel was away didn’t we?”

“Yes, I knew that, of course I did, but I didn’t know then how much I would come to need you. If you remember, Tim, you and I weren’t the greatest of friends before this were we?”

“That was because you only saw me as Ben’s mate. You assumed I must be useless, like him.”

“Well now I know different, I like what I know now. We’d have to move,Tim, that is if you did decide to stay with me.”

“Yes ... but Nina I can’t throw my marriage away just like that, because of an indiscretion, can I?”

“What you really mean is, you can’t leave her just because you’ve been screwing her best mate for a couple of weeks. Don’t let’s try to make it sound less dirty than it is by using nice words Tim. You’ve been glad to come round here every night and have what you wanted, to screw Ben’s wife. I bet you forgot to tell him that tonight, didn’t you?’

“Nina, I’m sorry, I’ll go. You’re right, I am disgusting, but if it’s any consolation to you I am disgusted with myself for what I’ve done to you, and to Mel and to Ben. I’m deeply ashamed.”

He got out of bed and tried to find his clothes in the dark. He felt stupid standing there naked, groping around for clothes that he had discarded so easily just minutes before. How a mood could change so swiftly. His thoughts centred around Mel’s return. It was obvious that Nina’s anger with him would result in her telling Mel everything. That would be the end of his marriage, not to mention his friendship with Ben. What a mess he’d made for himself.

“Tim... get back into bed!”

“What? You just said I was ...”

“I know what I said, you made me cross. Don’t worry, I’m not going to say anything... that’s what you’re thinking isn’t it? Let’s not fall out now. After all, if we don’t ever say anything about this no one will ever be any the wiser. We might even be able to carry on as we are from time to time, what do you think?”

Tim thought that keeping Nina sweet was his best plan at this moment. This was not a good time to tell her he was intent on discarding her completely as soon as Mel was home.

‘If you’re sure, Neen.’

“I am sure, anyway Mel told me to get as close to you as I could. Well we can’t get much closer than this can we? Now get back into bed and prove to me that you meant all those nice things you said last night.” Tim did as he was told.

On the drive to London the next day Tim had little to say, but Simon was keen to know how things were with Melanie. He tried a few times to draw him into conversation, but without success.

“I’m getting the feeling, Tim, that you are on the defensive. Have you had words with her over the phone?”

“No, we don’t talk for long enough to have words. She rings, asks me what sort of a day I’ve had and then asks to speak to Trudy and the kids. She talks to Trudy for longer than she does me.”

“Hey, come on Tim, that’s natural, she’s a mother. Trudy is looking after her kids, taking over her role in the home, she’s probably jealous of her actually.”

“I don’t think so. They seem to be talking for ages about everything, whereas she doesn’t have anything worthwhile to say to me.”

“That’s probably because you’re giving her a hard time, you see the trouble is you don’t know you’re doing it.”

“If anyone’s getting a hard time, Simon, it’s me, not her.”

“Well here’s a bit of news to cheer you up, or not as the case may be. I’ve booked the wife and me on a flight to Florida the day after tomorrow; you can take us to Heathrow first thing. We’re going to visit a few friends over there and hopefully play some golf, you know, relax a bit.”

“What will I do while you’re away?”

“Ha, you’re worried you won’t get to drive this beauty about all over the place, is that it?”

“No, I was thinking I’ll miss our journeys and the time we spend talking.”

“That’s nice, Tim. Thanks, but don’t worry, you’ll still be driving about and you’ll have someone to talk to, well, listen to more like. Here’s the not so good news; my sister flies in the day we fly out. I’m not saying she’s difficult exactly but we just never really got on that well. Veronica, that’s my sister, lives in Brisbane, which, to be honest, suits me fine. The snag is once a year she comes over here, usually with almost no warning. Coincidentally, if you get my drift, she usually arrives as we’re about to leave for Florida, or anywhere for that matter. Its better that way, we’d only fall out if I stayed. Our parents left me the Manor house and some property in London and they left her some land in Australia. At the time she was very angry about it and threatened to challenge the will. When she found out she couldn’t she went over there vowing she’d get the Manor off of me one way or another. Under the terms of the will she is free to stay here whenever she wants; she has her own rooms which we simply clean and maintain for her. I’ve tried over the years to placate her but she refuses to make up, even though she has done very well down under.’

“What are my instructions, Simon, while you are away?”

“Just do as she asks, old boy. Much better that than have her sue me or worse. She’ll give you hell I’m afraid, make you drive her to see friends at two in the morning, that sort of thing, she’s a bit mad like that. Humour her and hopefully she’ll have gone by the time we get back. If you want to talk to me I’m only at the end of the phone, Tim, use my office. It’ll be kept locked while I’m away but I’ll give you a spare key. Just keep her out of it, that’s all I ask. I’ll call you every few days, just to get an update on what she’s been up to. When’s your wife due back?”

“She seems to think they’ll be back on Saturday, but that depends on whether they conclude this deal or not. I’m worried that Naziree fellow will try to keep them out there longer. Mel must be desperate to come home by now, I know I’m desperate to see her.”

‘You’ll probably need to spend most of Thursday hanging around in London after we leave and while you’re waiting for Veronica. Her flight isn’t due until the evening but it won’t be worth driving back home in between. You know most of my restaurant tenants in London, go to any one of them you fancy and have a super meal, put it on my account. Have a nice day in London, do some shopping maybe, get a present for your wife.’

“Thanks, Simon, that’s a good idea and God knows, I’m pretty short of those at the moment.”

The kids were pleased to see Tim when he got home, but he could only keep them amused for a few minutes before their attention wandered and they drifted back to what Trudy was up to. They seemed to find helping her clear away the dishes more fun than talking to him, which, although he tried to hide it, caused him more resentment. Now he was being rejected in favour of the nanny. Why was it that the family he’d loved for all these years could have such scant regard for him? He was getting a subliminal message, we don’t actually need you. He’d got exactly the same from Melanie during their phone calls. She’d talk to him if it was absolutely necessary but she couldn’t wait to have the phone passed to the kids or even to Trudy. Did he really mean so little to them that a newcomer in the house was worth more than him? Try as he might to dispel such thoughts, it still hurt. No point in sitting here half the night waiting for a phone call that’s not worth having. Five minutes later he was sitting on Nina’s sofa listening to her complaining about her job.