Zeke (8 page)

“No, don’t stop,” Zeke urged.
“Don’t even answer me. Just keep going, honey. Please. Don’t stop. Just listen
to what I say. Relax.”

He gently guided her head back into
position.

“Maybe you went to Eugene’s shop
one day, just to see where he works. But he didn’t know you were there, didn’t
see you come in,” he said.

She continued milking him, but had
lost all pleasure in the act.

“Maybe you caught Eugene with a
customer, getting cozy with him. Maybe you hid behind a display and watched Eugene
take the man’s pants down. I bet you liked that, it gave you a tingle in your
panties. Eugene and some guy right there near the counter. Then you saw Eugene
get on his knees in front of the guy. Behind the display, you put your hands
inside your panties and rubbed yourself. And you wished you could join in.”
Zeke paused and pulled Sue around so he could slide his hand into her pants. He
matched his movements to his words.

Sue kept up her smooth regular
motions, listening intently. He was wrong. She absolutely wouldn’t have enjoyed
that. In fact, she would never visit Eugene in his shop. She suddenly
understood this story was more for Zeke’s entertainment than hers. And she
still remembered the harsh lesson last time she’d objected to something he
said, the three days of agony when he shunned her. She decided to ignore what
he was saying. Her head moved up and down while his fingers gently played with
her.

“So there you are, watching Eugene
with another man. You’re so excited you can hardly control yourself. I can just
see it; I can picture it. You’re a voyeur!” Zeke was breathing hard and his
hand was buried in her crotch. In spite of her disgust, his fingers were
working on her like a rush of warm water, arousing her against her will,
overcoming her resistance.

“Eugene likes sucking men, doesn’t
he? He likes it. And you like watching it. Oh!”

He gasped as he almost lost
control. Quickly, before she had a chance to do anything but sputter, he pulled
her up and kissed her. Then he flipped her over and yanked her pants away,
nearly ripping them from her body. She eagerly helped him, kicking to free her
legs. She crawled with shame, and hummed with a dirty feeling of intense
arousal as he mounted her. Appalled at her response, she nonetheless pulled him
closer.

Afterward, he lay panting on top of
her as she gazed unseeing at the stained ceiling overhead. Shadows played
across the room as a cloud passed by outside.

“I feel so odd. So wrong,” she said
quietly.

Zeke’s voice sounded sleepy. “No,
baby. Not odd. Satisfied. Remember, it’s all good.”

“It’s all good,” she repeated, as
if to convince herself.

“That’s right, honey,” he murmured.
“Eugene don’t seem so mean anymore, does he? The little cocksucker.”

Yellow Ribbons

“Sue, how do you feel about
convicts?”

Sue blinked, surprised by Zeke’s
question. “I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it. Why?”

“Because I have to tell you
something, and I hope it won’t ruin your love for me.”

“Nothing could do that. What is it?
What’s wrong?” A low-level anxiety filled her gut.

“I was in prison once.” Zeke took
her hand in his and looked down at her fingers. “I made a mistake. I was young
and I sold drugs to an undercover agent.”

“But you don’t do drugs.
Do
you?” Her eyes were wide.

“Not now, but this was some time
ago. Anyway, I got a pretty light sentence since I had no priors. But, I have
to tell you it was the worst period in my life. One night I heard my cellmate
say ‘where’s my Vaseline’ and I froze. I was lying on my bunk, facing the wall.
I reached down by my mattress and grabbed my metal cup. I heard him coming
toward me but I pretended I was asleep. Right when he bent over me, I swung
that cup around and smashed his face with it. Knocked him out cold.”

“Oh my god!” Sue gasped.

“Well, I can tell you this. I
always slept with my back to the wall after that. But, it was horrible, Sue. I
had to be careful all the time, always vigilant.” He raised his eyes to hers
and they were full of agony.

Sue didn’t know how to respond so
she just waited.

“And my poor dad. I really let him
down. I remember him coming to visit me. He brought me a carton of cigarettes.
When he handed them to me, he was shaking. There was so much pain in his
expression, seeing me in that place. I was so ashamed, I just wanted to crawl
in a hole and die. He had tears in his eyes, and it cut me to the heart. I had
never seen him cry before.”

“Oh, honey, how awful for you.” She
brought his hand to her mouth and kissed it tenderly. This new information
about her lover settled on her slowly. This explained a lot about his behavior,
Sue thought. She determined to cut him some slack, now that she knew the hell
he had been through.

“Anyway, I fulfilled my debt to
society. I did my time, and I won’t ever get myself locked up again. My dad
forgave me. Can you forgive me, Sue?” His eyes pleaded with her.

“Of course, I can. You paid for
your mistake. It doesn’t matter now.”

“Thank you, bunny. I should have
known you wouldn’t hold it against me,” he said, his voice low and choked with
emotion.

Sue pulled him close and clutched
him to her chest. “I’m so glad you trusted me enough to tell me about this.”
She felt warm and generous. “Where is your dad now?”

“Gone…I don’t want to talk about
it.”

“Okay.” She soothed him with tender
caresses. “It’s okay.”

“It feels good to get that off my
chest finally.” Zeke kissed her softly. “You’re a gem, Susie, a real gem. Like
a precious diamond. I wish I had known you back then. I bet you would have tied
yellow ribbons around a tree for me, given me a reason to come home.”

“I would have,” Sue agreed, even
though she didn’t understand the reference. “A thousand of them!”

They crawled into the back of the
van and made love slowly, savoring the bittersweet feeling.

Later, Zeke recalled his buddy,
Sean, who had originally told him the tale. In fact, all of it had really
happened; just not to Zeke. All except the yellow ribbon part, he’d added that
element himself after hearing a song on an oldies station. It was a nice touch,
realistic. He congratulated himself on his delivery. The old story seemed to do
the job every time, really worked on a woman’s tender heart, especially the
young ones. He hadn’t bothered telling the story to Mrs. Harrington. First, it
hadn’t been necessary. Second, he was convinced that woman had no heart to
melt.

Warning Signs

Sue sprawled in one of the
bookstore’s easy chairs the owner had installed to encourage prospective buyers
to hang around and read. She had just gotten out of an afternoon summer class.
Holding a book in front of her face, she snuck furtive glances at Zeke.
Whenever he caught her looking, he would smile or wink. She loved watching him
work, knowing she was his secret lover, and recalling their heated and tender
moments together.

A shadow fell over her, and she
looked up to see a guy from her Art Appreciation class standing next to her.
She immediately straightened up in the chair and put her book down.

“Hi,” he said. “Did you happen to
go to class today?”

“Um, yes. Burt, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. I was just wondering if
there are any new assignments.”

“No, not really,” Sue answered.
“Literman pretty much just lectured on chapter three today.”

“Okay, thanks.” He wandered off.

Sue looked up and found Zeke
staring at her, his anger piercing her like a lance. Baffled, she gave him a
smile, but he turned away and glared after her classmate as he made his way to
the stacks in the rear. Setting the book aside, Sue approached the counter and
nervously touched Zeke on the elbow.

“Everything okay?” Panic pitched
her voice an octave higher than normal.

“We’ll talk later,” he retorted and
stormed away.

Sue gathered her things and left
the store in a haze of tears, hoping he would call out to her, try to stop her.
He didn’t.

That night, she was waiting for him
when he strolled out of Re-books, his work vest slung over his shoulder.
Although he saw her, he walked right past her to his van and opened the door.

“Zeke!” Sue followed him. “What’s
wrong?”

He wadded his work vest into a ball
and threw it forcefully into the van, then turned with a hateful look. After
staring balefully into her eyes for a few long seconds, he growled, “Get in.”

She slunk around and slipped into
the passenger seat.

Zeke pulled his door shut with more
force than necessary, and sat staring straight ahead while she held her breath.
“Who was that dude?” His lips were tight, jaw rigid.

 
“Just
a guy in my class.” Relief flooded her; she now believed she understood his
mood and could easily dispel his anger. “I hardly know him.”

With no warning, Zeke reached out
and grabbed a handful of her hair, twisting it. Shock and pain warped her
features.

“Don’t lie to me, Sue. Don’t
ever
lie to me. I’ll dump you in a heartbeat if you do.”

“I’m not lying!” Sue cried, trying
to pull his hand away from her hair. The muscles in his arm were hard with
tension, but he gradually released his hold. She reached for the door handle,
but he seized her arm roughly and pulled her to him.

“I hate you!” she sobbed.

He held her firmly, restraining her
as she struggled, and kept shushing her. Gradually, she calmed a bit.

“You can hate me if you want, but I
love you.” His voice was full of agony and he appeared near tears himself. “I’m
sorry if I hurt you. Or scared you. But I can’t help the way I feel. It made me
crazy to see that guy talking to you.”

“I told you; I hardly know him!”
Sue rubbed the sore spot on her head. She concluded he must really care about
her if she could drive him to such depths of torment. She realized for the
first time that she had power, real power, over him because he cared so much.
Hurt as she was, she was secretly thrilled to mean so much to him.

“Are you screwing him too?” Zeke
held her at arm’s length, his stormy eyes full of pain.

“What? God, no!” Sue threw her arms
around him. “I would never! He just asked me a question about class.”

“Okay, that’s good. It’s all good.”
He relaxed in her embrace and laid his forehead on her shoulder.

“I didn’t mean to make you jealous.
I had no idea the guy was even there until he spoke to me. Shoot, I had to think
hard to even remember his name.”

“I’m
not
jealous.” Zeke
raised his eyes to hers. “I admit I overreacted and I’m sorry for that. But, we
should get something straight right now between us. I don’t get jealous. That
guy has nothing for me to be jealous of. Really, Sue, use your head.”

“Well, okay,” Sue said, confused.

“I mean, I don’t own you, Sue. I
wouldn’t even try to. And in all honesty, I don’t even care if you want to mess
around with the guy.”

“What? I don’t understand.”

“Listen. It wasn’t the idea that
you might get it on with someone else. It was that you might do it behind my
back. Nobody wants to feel like an idiot.”

Sue was astonished. She pushed back
from him and struggled to absorb his odd point of view.

Zeke’s composure returned. “As long
as we discuss it ahead of time and agree on certain things, you can play with
anyone you want. But, we have to talk it over beforehand, so I don’t end up
looking like a fool. You can’t keep me in the dark.”

“You don’t care if I sleep with
someone else?” She was aghast, feeling the power she thought she’d gained
slipping through her fingers.

“Of course I care.” He reached for
her. “I care more than you’ll ever know. I just don’t want to lose you. So, if
that’s what it takes to make you happy, I’ll go along with it. Just please
don’t ever do it behind my back. No secrets. Understand?”

“No. Not really,” she said, but she
was wavering.

“You know what a stickler I am
about freedom. How could I deny you the freedom to satisfy your body?” Zeke stroked
her leg. “I can handle you being with someone else as long as I know it’s me
you love. And as long as we talk about it in advance.”

“Well, I don’t want anyone else,”
Sue responded passionately. Her mind was rolling over, scrambling to understand
this peculiar turn of events. She wondered if this went both ways. Would he
tell her sometime that he wanted to sleep with someone else? Just to fool
around with them, not for love? Sue hoped not; she didn’t think she would be
okay with the idea. In fact, she knew she wouldn’t.

He cradled her face in his hands
and pulled her in for a deep kiss.

“If you ever do want anyone else,
all you have to do is tell me,” he said, now really warming to the subject. “I
just want to be there, that’s all. If I can be there, I can reassure myself
that your love for me is still strong. I can make sure nobody hurts you or
treats you badly. Truth is, that’s the safest and best way to do it. I can
cover your back while you get what you need.”

“Be there?” Sue pulled back to look
into his eyes, her forehead wrinkling with doubt. She wasn’t sure she was
really hearing what she thought she was hearing.

“Sure, just like I’d want you there
for me,” he said easily.

“For you?” She was stunned, and
asked the question she’d been worried about. “You mean you might want someone
else?”

“No, I’m not saying that. Anyway, I
can’t think who it would be. But if I ever did, it wouldn’t change the way I
feel about you. It would still be you and me as if we were one. And whatever we
decide to do, it would have to be mutual.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Sue
stammered.