Zombies vs. Unicorns (34 page)

And then she heard it: the peal of Princess Prettypants’s silver hooves ringing out as she shifted in place in the barn.

It was crazy. It was insane.

Except … Well, she was technically a
horse
, wasn’t she?

And horses were made to be ridden.

Liz ran for the barn. Princess Prettypants looked up, flicking her velvety ears forward as Liz came in, and letting out a gentle, musical neigh. The fragrance of night-blooming jasmine, which Liz had only smelled before on a trip to Florida to visit her aunt, filled the air. Princess Prettypants had yawned.

Well, that’s it then,
Liz thought.

Liz had no choice but to ride bareback. Munchkin’s saddle, of course, would have been far too small, and besides it had been sold in a yard sale years earlier. Liz had ridden bareback a few times before, because Alecia’s family had horses and sometimes when it was hot they rode them saddleless for fun.

But this was different. This was a stately, elegant unicorn that stood nineteen hands high (extremely tall, for a horse), with a three-foot sparkling horn and lavender eyes.

Then again, she also farted rainbows. So.

Since there was no stirrup for her to step into, Liz found a crate and, after setting it next to the unicorn, climbed on top of it and said, knowing Munchkin had always liked it when
she’d spoken to him in a soothing voice, “Hello, Princess, er, Prettypants. I’m just going to climb onto your back now, if that’s okay. And we’re going to go on a little trip. Okay? Great. Here I—”

But when Liz laid her hands on Princess Prettypants’s impossibly silky back to boost herself up, the unicorn gave a start, reared back, and darted quickly away from her, giving Liz an extremely insulted look with her now wildly rolling violet eyes.

“Whoa,” Liz said, holding up both her hands to show she hadn’t meant any offense. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Honestly. It’s just … I really need to get to town.”

And then, before Liz knew what was happening, she’d broken down into tears. She was standing there in the barn, sobbing to a unicorn. A freaking
horse
. With a stupid
horn
coming out of its head!

“I’m sorry, but I’ve had a really bad day. And now my friend is in trouble. She has this crush on this bad guy, and I sort of encouraged it, and so it’s my fault, and he did something to her at this party, and I’ve got to go to her and make sure she’s okay, but my parents won’t let me use the car, so—”

A second later Princess Prettypants calmed down. She tossed her head, stopped rolling her eyes, and gave a musical nicker.

Then, to Liz’s utter surprise, she folded one foreleg beneath her, stretched the other out before her, and bowed elegantly in front of Liz, like a prima ballerina, with her horn tipped toward the floor and her lavender-eyed gaze on Liz as if to say,
At your service, madam
.

Liz stared at her, her mouth agape.

“Wh-what are you doing?” Liz asked, as if the unicorn could respond.

Of course Princess Prettypants said nothing, just stared at Liz patiently, clearly waiting for Liz to get on her back.

“Oh,” Liz said, flustered. “Oh my God. Thank you so much …”

She climbed onto the unicorn. It was like sliding onto the back of the softest imaginable pillow … or like the fairy wings made from swan feathers her aunt had sent her for Christmas when she was five.

She was barely seated before the unicorn lurched to a standing position. Liz had to plunge her hands into the silky mane to hang on. Then, the strong back muscles beneath her moving powerfully, the unicorn turned and headed for the barn doors … so swiftly that Liz had to duck in order to keep from hitting her head on the top of the jamb.

“Hey!” Liz turned, and saw her little brother Ted coming toward the barn with an armful of apples, apparently for Princess Prettypants, stolen from the kitchen crisper. “Where are
you
going?”

“Um,” Liz called down to him. “Just out for a ride. Tell Mom and Dad I’ll be home soon.”

“I thought you didn’t even
like
Princess Prettypants,” he said, looking suspicious.

“She’s really growing on me,” Liz called as the unicorn lurched into a gallop. “I gotta go. See ya!”

And suddenly, with Liz clinging to the unicorn’s mane
for dear life, they were moving through the night-darkened countryside, Princess Prettypants cantering at an unbelievable speed—faster than any car Liz had ever traveled in—toward town. The unicorn apparently had no need of roads—or of Liz steering, or giving directions. She seemed to know exactly where Liz wanted to go, taking a direct route through fields, along the grassy medians of highways, through parking lots of shopping malls and cineplexes—her hooves making fiery sparks and a symphony of bell-like tones as they struck the pavement—and finally through other people’s yards, simply hopping over anything that stood in her way, including walls, fences, and cars …

… causing a great many astonished looks, though traffic was generally light this time of night in downtown Venice.

Liz could only hang on and tell herself to remember to breathe as they flew past the people—and their hastily upraised cell phone cameras—they encountered along the way to Kate Higgins’s house.

Liz completely understood their astonishment. She couldn’t quite comprehend what was happening herself. She’d only had to picture the house where she needed to go, and Princess Prettypants—such a horrible name for such a noble creature!—was dropping her off there. True, they were coming up around the back … right up to the hot tub, into which no less than a dozen people seemed to be crammed.

But still, in no time at all Liz found herself behind the Higginses’ downtown split-level colonial. Empty beer bottles were strewn all across the backyard. Loud music was pulsating
from the house. People were milling around everywhere, some of them dancing, some of them laughing, some of them throwing up, but hardly any of them noticing the approach of a second birthday girl … this one on her new pet unicorn. Only one highly inebriated young man, who happened to be relieving himself upon a leafy oak tree near where Princess Prettypants slowed her pace upon her approach, cried, “Holy crap! A unicorn!”

He then promptly passed out in a heap behind some bushes.

Liz knew they had definitely come to the right place.

With a pealing neigh, Princess Prettypants bowed and allowed Liz to dismount. After she’d done so, Liz turned and extended both hands toward the unicorn and said, “Ummm … wait here, please?”

Princess Prettypants, giving the locale a skeptical glance, bowed her head and began to pull tufts of the Higginses’ plentiful lawn into her powerful jaws and gnaw on it.

Satisfied that her ride was going to remain in one place for the time being, Liz crossed the yard, taking her cell phone from her pocket and dialing Alecia’s number.

“H-hello?” Alecia asked when she picked up, not recognizing Liz’s number.

“It’s me,” Liz said. “I’m here at the party. Where are you?”

“Oh,” Alecia said, sounding grateful but still in tears. “Thank you. Thank you so much for driving over to get me!”

“No problem,” Liz said. She didn’t think it would be particularly useful at this point to mention that she hadn’t exactly
driven
over. “Are you inside?”

“Yes.” Alecia’s voice sounded tiny and hurt. “I’m in the bathroom on the first floor.”

“The bathroom?” Liz echoed.

“Yes,” Alecia said again, in the same bruised voice. “And could you hurry, Liz? I think the people in line to use the toilet are getting kind of … angry at me. But I can’t help it. I just can’t come out alone. Not if
he’s
around.”

“I’ll be right there,” Liz said, and hung up, hurrying toward the house. As she went by the hot tub, she caught a glimpse of a number of naked chests. One of them belonged to Spank Waller.

Another, she saw, with a feeling that was akin to being run over—or how she supposed it must feel to be run over—belonged to her ex, Evan Connor.

Well, and why not? Why wouldn’t Evan come back to town for the biggest party of the year? He was still one of Venice High’s most popular graduates of all time, a golden boy who could do no wrong in most people’s eyes. If a cache of stolen plaster geese were found in
his
parents’ barn, everyone in town would just laugh it off.

Liz looked away, swallowing down a little bit of Troy Bolton icing–flavored vomit before she opened the back door and stepped into the house.

Inside, the music was pulsing even more loudly, and the house was so full of cup-holding, grinding bodies that Liz could hardly see where she was going. She managed to catch a glimpse of a line, however, and figured she’d find a door there leading to a bathroom. After what seemed like half an hour of
elbowing people aside, she found the door, outside of which some extremely angry-looking girls, who obviously had to pee very badly, were yelling, “Open up! We gotta go!”

Liz went up to the bathroom door and tried the knob—it was locked, of course.

“Alecia?” Liz called, hoping Alecia would be able to hear her over the loud music and desperately shouting girls. “It’s me, Liz.”

Immediately the door opened a tiny crack. Liz saw Alecia, her eyes red behind her glasses, peering out at her.

“Hi,” Alecia said, sniffling.

Several of the girls in line behind Liz, alert to the slightest motion of the door, pushed, trying to get inside to use the toilet.

But Liz pushed back, then snaked her way into the bathroom, and slammed the door, locking it.

When she turned to face Alecia, she saw that she’d sunk down onto the edge of the bathtub, and had her head in her hands.

Alecia, Liz saw with some relief,
looked
all right. All of her clothing was still on, and in no disrepair. Nothing was ripped or dirty or bloodstained.

True, her long hair was no longer brushed to a sheen. It was really messy, in fact. And her Mariah Carey T-shirt, of which Alecia was quite proud because she thought it was very stylish, was untucked, which wasn’t really like Alecia.

But other than that, she looked perfectly presentable.

“Alecia,” Liz said. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“I can’t tell you,” Alecia said, her long brown hair hiding her face. “It’s too shameful! Oh, I’ve done the most terrible thing, Liz! You’ll hate me!”

Liz knelt down on the bath mat beside her friend’s feet.

“Alecia,” she said, “you have to tell me. I went to a lot of trouble to get here tonight. You wouldn’t even believe how much trouble if I told you. So you had better explain to me exactly what happened. I promise I won’t hate you.”

Alecia lifted her face from her hands and looked at Liz. Her tears had fogged the lenses of her glasses.

“It’s just,” Alecia said, her voice catching. “You know Douglas, right?”

Liz frowned. It took her a second to remember who Alecia was talking about. “You mean Spank?”

“Douglas,” Alecia said. She’d always refused to call Douglas by his nickname, the origins of which were murky. “Well, when I got here, he acted really excited to see me. He said he wanted to dance. So we were dancing. Slow dancing! It was like a dream come true. I couldn’t believe it. Douglas Waller had asked
me
to dance! I’m not anyone.”

“That’s not true,” Liz said. She couldn’t help remembering feeling similarly honored the first time Evan had singled her out … not at a dance but in their chemistry class, as his partner. It was only later that Liz realized this was because she was a chem whiz and he was anything but. “You
are
someone. But go on.”

“It
is
true,” Alecia said emphatically. “You’re just saying that because you’re my friend. But anyway, while we were dancing, Douglas whispered in my ear, ‘Do you want to go somewhere to be alone?’ I don’t know what I was thinking, but … I figured it was because he wanted to kiss me. And even though I knew
it was wrong, because he hasn’t met my parents and we aren’t engaged or anything—” Liz fought an impulse to roll her eyes. “I said … Oh, Liz, I said yes! And the next thing I knew, Douglas was taking me into a bedroom. I think it was Kate’s. It had all these teddy bears everywhere—and we were kissing, and, oh, Liz, he started taking my shirt off! And I let him! I know it was wrong, but I did, it just felt so good.”

Now Liz knew why Alecia’s T-shirt was untucked. Feeling a little sick to her stomach and not wanting to hear any more—but knowing she had to—Liz said, “Go on, Alecia.”

“This is where the shameful part comes in,” Alecia said tearfully. “Although the whole thing is shameful, really.” She took a deep, shuddering breath. “Once Douglas got my shirt off all the way, and I was standing there in my … my bra, he … he …”

“He what, Alecia?” Liz asked, prepared for the worst.

“He snapped a photo with his cell phone.” Alecia buried her face back into her hands, sobbing. “Then he ran out, laughing!”

Liz knelt there on the bath mat, staring at her friend, perplexed.

“Wait,” she said. “That’s all he did? Kissed you and took a photo of you in your bra?”

“What do you mean, that’s
all
?” Alecia lifted her face, looking furious. Two bright spots of red stood out on her cheeks, and her eyes, behind the lenses of her glasses, blazed. “He’s going to send that photo to everyone! I’ll be humiliated in front of the entire student population of Venice High! And what about my parents? When they find out—and they will—they’ll yank me
out and start homeschooling me again! I’m ruined! Don’t you understand? Spank Waller has ruined me! And it’s all my own fault for ever being stupid enough to think a guy like him could like a girl like me.”

Alecia started to sob again … deep, heartrending sobs that Liz felt all the way to her core, like the bass of the music that was thumping outside the bathroom door.

Liz was relieved Alecia hadn’t been physically hurt.

But remembering Spank’s note from that morning—and what had happened in Edmondson 212A—she knew that that kind of hurt could be just as painful, in its own way.

She had to do something. What, she had no idea. But something.

Because, despite what Alecia thought, none of this was her own fault. If anything, everything that had happened to Alecia had been Liz’s own doing. Jeremy’s words still haunted her—
Believe me, no good will come of encouraging her crush on him.