Chasing Beautiful (Chasing Series #1) (16 page)

“Yes, I definitely agree. How was your week? How was school? Any news?”
Tricky, those questions
, I thought as I weighed my options.

I swallowed slowly.
Any news?
That seemed a little loaded. “School’s good. I like my classes this semester. News? Let see—I’ll be modeling for Chad. He’s going to have a show in a couple of months.”

“Model?
How?
” He looked perplexed.

Okay… I know I’m
not model material like the ones he’s used to, but at least have the decency to look pleased.

“His theme is Sensual Grunge. He’s hell-bent
on having me be his model. Go ask him.”

My voice small and a little hurt. His reaction hurt.

“
Sensual Grunge?
” The blasted man reiterated.

“Yeah, whatever
.” I said, shrugging off his annoying attitude.

Blak
e became quiet and after a few minutes, his mouth was still shut.
Damn him! He always does this. It’s so uncomfortable.

So, instead of glaring at his form, I opted to look
about, glancing around at the people milling around with friends, laughing and drinking. Some chatted happily whilst eating their dinner. Everyone seemed to be having a great time except for our table. Biting my lip, I contemplated my news about Kyle. Since he was already in a gloomy state, I thought I might as well drop the bomb.

“Since we’re on the subject
of news—I just learned yesterday that Kyle’s temporarily moving here for work,” I took a long sip of my martini.

“Kyle?
Matthews? He’s here?” His reaction, disbelieving.

Yep, my ex is definitely here in London town.

“Yes, Kyle is here. He just flew in today.”

“Bollocks! I can’t believe this! This night kee
ps getting better and better!” Blake said as he raked his hand through his hair. I didn’t get the chance to respond because the waiter laid our food out on the table.

Blake seemed
eager to ignore me. And so I let him.

His brows furrowed as he worked on his meal.
What was he thinking?
He looked like he was working something out, but wouldn’t voice anything to me. It was so frustrating!

I had a hard time
not choking on my meal. His forbidding attitude didn’t put me at ease and when the waiter came to clear our dishes and offer dessert, he immediately declined, stating clearly that we were in a hurry.

My stomach dropped.

He hurriedly paid the bill and led us both to the elevator, barely touching my back as he ushered me in. When we got out of the building, instead of walking towards the car, he suggested that we walk for awhile. He seemed so distant and I couldn’t seem to reach him.

When we stumbled upon a garden, I sat
on the concrete bench, waiting for him to say something, anything.

The
silent treatment was killing me.

“Blake?”

His back faced me, looking over the clearing that led to the river. The garden was dimly lit, but it wasn’t dark enough to hide Blake’s stony face. When he finally turned around and faced me, hands in his pockets, his face was completely passive.

What
was going on with him?

“Are you going back to him?”
He asked, but it sounded like an accusation.

“What? No! I never said I was! I mentioned it because you had to know—that even though I’m not going back to him
. I can’t freely date you at the moment. He’ll go ballistic if he finds out. I guess all I’m asking is if you could understand where I’m coming from. Kyle’s been through a lot lately and he needs my help. His parents seem to think I’m the only one that can pull him out of this rut and I think I can help him, heal I mean.”

“
Heal him
, Sienna? That’s a load of rubbish!” He cursed loudly as he kicked a stone next to his foot. Blake turned his back on me again and sat on his heels, both hands gripping his hair.

I pressed my lips together, knowing I
was asking a lot of him. But I had to help Kyle. He didn’t have anyone else. I owed Kyle this, at least.

I stared at the man before me looking
conflicted, and I honestly didn’t blame him.  I would have been too, if the situation was reversed.

I
picked at my nails, antsy and nervous when he got up and turned around to face me again.

“Sienna—as I
badly want you—I can’t watch and fall back on the sidelines as you spend time with him. I can’t fathom the fact that you’ll be spending time with him—especially after what he put you through! But it’s your decision and I fully accept that. He’s obviously still significant to you and I understand that too. You still love him and that’s something I can’t compete with. I have to give you up—make things easier for you.

“
We’ll still be friends, never doubt that. I’ll always be here for you. But what transpired between us this past week is something we should bury and move past.”

No! How can he say such things?
I wanted to argue but his eyes were grim and his lips pressed into a thin line, showing me how serious he was.

My eyes were
brimming with tears as I watched him speak. He looked fine, but his voice was something else entirely. He sounded hollow and empty. And I knew deep down, even if I begged him to change his mind, he wouldn’t. He had already made up his mind about Kyle and me.

The big question is h
ow am I going to move on with life after Blake? Yes, he’s still planning to be my friend and we could mend things as they were before—but how will I forget how Blake’s kisses make me feel? How will I bury these memories I have of him? I felt tormented with emotions and I had a hard time speaking.

“Are you sure you want to give up
— whatever it was—between us, Blake?” I pleaded, my voice a mere whisper.

“It’s not easy for me to say this, Sienna. You know that—”

Do I really know it? I’m not
so sure I do.

I nodded
, not wanting to argue his moot point. I unceremoniously got up and walked towards his parked car. There was no point in staying longer in the park, pondering ways to convince Blake to change his mind. It was a done deal in his head. He probably concocted this while he sipped wine and concentrated on his dinner.

The ride back home was silent.
He didn’t even bother to turn on any music.
What a great night this turned out to be
, I thought bleakly. How I wished things were different, but Blake was obviously willing to just walk away—without much ado—so I would do the same and not dwell on it. Apparently, it didn’t mean that much to him. So let bygones be bygones.

He parked outside my building, but didn’t even bother to look at me. I stared at him for a
bit, waiting for him to say goodnight, but he didn’t budge. I hesitantly leaned over him, gave him a peck on the cheek and hurriedly left the car. The tension was stifling and I needed to get out of there before I broke down.

The apartment was dark and silent. Lucy usually stays with Toby during weekends and I welcomed the eerie silence.

I’m not going to cry,
I willed myself. It was stupid and we had barely started anything for it to be significant.

Not bothering to turn on the lights,
the moonlight barely slithered through the windows as I made my way to the kitchen and helped myself to a huge glass of wine.

I went to my bedroom
and slowly took my shoes and dress off. I took the pins out of my hair, letting it cascade on my naked back. Wearing only my thong, I went to turn on my music and played
Ain’t No Sunshine
by Eva Cassidy, placing it on repeat. I was in my bed, curled up, alone with my heavy heart and my disgruntled thoughts.

I never did cry.

That night, I dreamt of silks and candles.

And a pool full of rose petals.

Morning couldn’t come soon enough as I stretched lazily on my bed. I reached for my phone and checked for the time; it was ten in the morning. I sighed. I would be meeting Kyle and Marie later today.

How exhausting
is this?
It drained my soul until I was insipid and lifeless.

I wish I
could have danced with Chad today, but Saturdays are usually busy for him at the studio and I couldn’t cut it close to dinnertime. I needed enough time to get ready. So, I settled for some stretching and a twenty-minute Pilate’s session in my living room.

Blake never texted or called last night
; it was just as well. He was serious about his decision and I had to just let it go. All I have to do now is gather up my courage and my armor for when the time comes that Blake decides to bring a date when he’s hanging out with us. I flinched inwardly at the thought of those strong hands on another woman. It never bothered me before, but since things did happen between us, it was going to be difficult to revert to the old ways. I knew how those hands felt, how great they could make me feel. But it was over and I just have to move past it.

I did some laundry, dusted and cleaned the apartment. Before I knew it, it was five in the afternoon.
I received a text from Kyle earlier stating where and what time we’d meet. I still had an hour and a half to get ready before I needed to meet them.

I decided to run a bath and soak for fifteen minutes or so before I start
ed getting ready. Browsing through my closet, I decided on another black dress, strapless, short fitted with an A-line skirt paired with black stiletto heels. With my long hair down, reaching a few inches above my butt. Pearl studs finished my look perfectly. Aiming for the classy look can’t be accomplished properly without pearls, or so they say.

Hailing a black cab on a Saturday night can be very difficult, but I was
fortunate enough that I didn’t have to wait that long on the pavement. The traffic was terrible, but I was lucky to arrive a few minutes past seven at The Dorchester Hotel in Park Lane. Marie loves French cuisine and I was meeting them in one of the five-star restaurants inside.    

Entering the hotel’s foyer, it was hard n
ot to miss Kyle. He was standing idly on the corner. His face lit up when he saw me past the glass doors. He was wearing black from head to toe. Black dress shirt, jeans and dress shoes.

He immediately sauntered towards
me. “Sienna.”

“Hello, Kyle!”
I greeted him as he gave me a light hug, pulled back and inspected me, quite thoroughly to my liking. His eyes even glinted, inspecting.

He looked like he
had lost a lot of weight since I had last seen him. He had dark rings under his eyes and his skin looked paler. He still looked handsome, but his usual luster was missing. I felt a jab of guilt looking at him. Deep down, I knew it wasn’t my fault that he was having such a rough time; he did it to himself and he should have known better. But the fact that somehow I was a major factor to his spiraling downfall, made it quite difficult for me not to feel some remorse.

“Mom’s already seated inside.
I just wanted to wait and meet you out here. You know, just making sure you were coming.”
He doubted it?
Kyle knew I could hardly say no to his mother.

“I said I was. I wasn’t planning on canceling
at the last minute.”

He nodded and led the way to where his mother was located.

Marie looked beautiful in her usual Oscar de la Renta suit in light pink, as she greeted me warmly and sat next to Kyle. I sat across the table and Marie took the uneasiness of the situation away. She never once discussed Kyle’s problems, but directed the conversation towards her charity work and other subjects that she deemed safe throughout the entire meal.

Sipping the excellent red wine, I was a little guarded with Marie’s inquisition, in her gentle manner
, of course.  “So dear, tell me about your life here? Is it what you dreamed it to be?”

Smiling,
I relented. “I really love it here. I’ve made my own friends and I’m very comfortable now. School’s great, actually! I’m loving where my professor is going with our Art History class. So, I guess I’m happy, if that’s what you wanted to know.” I took another huge sip of my wine and glanced at Kyle. He seemed a little aloof and engrossed in his phone messages.

“Anyone special, dear?”
Marie lightly inquired. Even in her gentle voice, I knew she was dying to know this. Kyle even managed to pause his tapping on his phone, though he never looked up. I could tell he was waiting for my answer as well.

Mother and son, working together.

Great, this was just what I need. Since I’m not seeing Blake that way anymore—I guess there’s nothing to tell them. Shaking my head, “No, no one at the moment.”

“That’s excellent!”
Marie exclaimed with a huge smile.

Excellent?
Yeah, right.