Hercules: A Matter of Trust (2 page)

It would have to be her dad. He'd ditched the farm for the last decade, but he was already making himself at home here. Surely Aunt Debby would listen to her own brother?

Then Emily thought about her dad and how he'd changed since they'd been there. Before they'd arrived on the farm a few weeks ago, she would have asked him knowing he'd stand by her no matter what.

But since their arrival, he'd started to change, siding with her aunt instead of Emily. And she knew he'd do
the same in this case, deferring to Aunt Debby as if she were the queen of the place. Emily didn't come first for him anymore.

She frowned, realizing she didn't come first for
anyone
right now. At least, not enough to corral anyone into her corner against her aunt. Not like she did at home. At home she had her dad and Giselle and Les and…

Emily bit her lower lip and her eyes began to sting. Here…she was alone. In this huge family she was alone.

Sapphire nickered softly and pressed his nose against her side. She bit her lip and hugged him, burying her face in his shiny coat. “It doesn't matter,” she said fiercely, gripping his mane tightly. “Who needs them? We don't.” She could do this. She didn't need help. “I can manage my aunt, no problem.”

Something hit her in the back, and she lifted her head to see Max standing behind her. He stomped his foot impatiently, and she slung one arm around his neck, too. “Why do I need people? I have you two. I don't need them.”

But when she heard Alison's laughter echo in the air, followed by Aunt Debby's booming laugh, she realized she was lying to herself just a little bit.

S
everal hours later Emily had put Sapphire back in his stall, his whiskers neatly trimmed, as well as his ears and his feet. He looked beautiful and sharp, and his coat was gleaming from her rubdown. She'd actually rubbed him so hard her arm was sore, but she was determined to prove that she shouldn't be discounted. That she could belong here.

She'd eventually decided to try to get her dad to help her with Aunt Debby, but he'd gone to town to pick up some meds for the rescue horses, so she'd headed out to the back paddock to find the pony her aunt wanted her to bathe. Working with the rescued horses always put her in a better mood, because they were all so desperate
for a little love that it made her feel awesome to give it to them.

Emily trucked along the path toward the back paddock, a halter and a lead shank draped over her shoulder. The path was dirt, but not too rocky, and there were green grass and bushes surrounding her. Oregon was so green Emily felt like she was in the Amazon rain forest, immersed in a world of lush vegetation.

She inhaled deeply as she walked, breathing in the scent of cool dampness from the rain they'd had the night before. Her feet sank in the soft dirt. Her paddock boot left behind a perfect footprint—like the earth was molding to her feet and leaving a trail for the world to find.

She lifted her head and gazed ahead at the vast expanse of fields before her, at the split rail fences protecting the horses from getting loose. At home, the one turnout pasture was a ring of bark dust and dirt. This was…She took a deep breath and smiled.

This turnout area was vast space where she could have the alone time she was used to, privacy that felt nonexistent with her family all around her. Not that she totally minded family, but when she was upset, she was used to being able to go off on her own and regroup.

This part of the farm gave her freedom. A place where she could stop thinking about things that bugged her. Out here it was simply about nature and horses. She reached the back paddock and climbed on the fence, smiling as a couple of the horses raised their heads to look at her, tails swishing lightly to keep the bugs away.

These were some of the forty horses they'd rescued from a horrific situation a few weeks ago. When Emily and her dad had found them, they'd been filthy, horribly thin, injured, and traumatized, locked in dark, windowless stalls, in mud up to their ankles.

And now…She grinned as she watched the horses lazing in the sun, their clean coats not exactly glistening, but hinting at new life and luster. She could still see their ribs, but there was a faint hint of padding over them now, even in such a short time.

Jaws raised his head to look at her and nickered softly. She'd named him Jaws to honor his courage when he'd tried to bite his old owner when the nasty man had tried to stop Emily and her dad from rescuing the horses.

Jaws been vicious for that one second, and ever since, he'd been nothing but happy and relaxed. He lazily lowered his head and began to graze again, his body so
relaxed she could practically hear him humming with pleasure.

The best thing of all about the rescue was the spirit that was returning to the eyes of the horses they'd saved. They all seemed to sense they'd found safety, and she knew the eight they'd already sold had gone to good homes as well. There'd been forty originally, but they'd sold the ones that were in decent shape, so now they were down to thirty-two. Actually it was thirty-three, since Precious had given birth to T.J. after the mare had arrived at Running Horse Ridge.

Emily smiled at the thought of the baby colt her dad had given to her. T.J. was the first horse that she'd owned, and he was the cutest thing ever. She adored him and visited him every day…not that there was that much to do with him, since she couldn't ride him or really train him yet. Not like Sapphire.

She appreciated T.J.; she really did. But she still didn't understand why her dad had given her T.J. instead of Sapphire. He'd never given her an answer that made sense, not that anything he did anymore really made sense to her.

But now was about a little Shetland pony who needed a bath. Emily knew she'd feel better after taking care of him. She leaned on the railing of the paddock
and searched the field for a small roan pony. She didn't remember rescuing him, but she'd been occupied with Precious most of the time, and she'd missed a lot of the action.

The grass was a little sparse in this paddock; the animals would have gotten sick if they'd been given too much rich grass all of a sudden. But the trees surrounding the paddock were tall, and the air was light and fresh. The blue sky was gorgeous, and the only sounds were the chirping of birds and the snorting of horses.

Emily looked out across the horizon and saw the rounded peak of Mount Saint Helens in the distance silhouetted against the blue sky. She still couldn't believe it was the same mountain as the photo in her aunt and uncle's den, with a pointed peak. Now the peak was curved, like the crown of someone's head, after the top half of the mountain had literally blown off when it had erupted in 1980.

Emily studied the mountain, trying to imagine what it would feel like to see thousands of tons of earth flying into the air straight at her….

There was a loud snort, and she pulled her gaze back to the paddock. Hidden beneath the shadows of several large fir trees was a small cluster of horses…and there was a little tiny one hidden behind the rest, so small she
could actually see his whole body beneath the belly of a tall Thoroughbred. She hopped down from the fence. “Found you.”

She strolled over to the group of horses and patted a few noses and scratched a few whiskers, then peeked past the tall horse for her assignment.

He was gone.

Emily scanned the paddock, looking to the left in time to see a little shadow dart around the corner and out of sight.

She started after him. “You do realize that I'm here to give you treats, don't you?” she called out. “And I'm going to brush you and get all the snarls and mud out of your coat, and you'll feel wonderful.” She rounded the corner and stopped abruptly at the sight of him.

The little pony was backed into a corner, his head up, his eyes wide, his nostrils flaring, as if she were some great enemy come to do him harm. His front feet were splayed, and his thick white mane almost completely covered his face. His mane spilled over all sides of his neck, nearly down to his chest. His coat, from what she could see beneath the mud, was a rich gold. A classic palomino and completely cute.

And apparently terrified of her.

Her heart tightened and she held out a carrot,
crooning softly. “Hey, little man, you're not at that awful place anymore. You're safe now. It's okay.”

He backed up even farther, smashing himself in the corner and snorting loudly.

Emily kept talking quietly to him, holding out the carrot. “I know you're small, but I bet you're tough, aren't you? All ponies are. How about we name you Hercules, because you're so tough that there's nothing that can hurt you? Is that good? Should we call you Hercules?”

The tiny pony began to tremble, and she saw sweat begin to stain the hair on his neck, and her throat began to fill up. “You're that scared of me?”

His head wove back and forth, his eyes so wide she could see the white around the rims, and the skin on his flanks was vibrating, he was trembling so badly.

“Okay, so I won't touch you. How about I toss you the carrot?” Emily went down on her knees and tossed the carrot toward his feet.

The little pony's body jerked backward as she moved her hand, and he let out a panicked squeal and jumped sideways against the rails, pressing his whole body lengthwise along the split log rails, trapped in the corner by Emily.

She slowly lowered her hand, trying not to scare him
any further. “It's okay, Hercules. I'm not coming any closer. But there's food at your feet.” Despite his thick coat, she could still see his hip bones sticking out and knew he was desperately skinny beneath his speckled coat, as were all the other horses they'd rescued. “It's a carrot.” She pointed at it, and Hercules flinched.

She clenched her fists against the need to leap to her feet, rush over to him, and throw her arms around him. To hug him, to hold him, to make him realize that everything was all right and that he was safe now. But she knew she couldn't. That he wouldn't allow it.

Instead, she had to simply sit there and let him be terrified.

She cleared her throat and tried again. “My name is Emily. I'm from New Jersey. This farm belongs to my aunt and uncle, and I guess my dad, too. He inherited half of it when Grandpa died. They're nice here, especially to ponies like you. Everyone here loves you. Really, they do—”

He shuddered and she quickly stopped talking, feeling so utterly helpless to alleviate his terror.

She sat for another minute, watching the little pony flattened against the fence, his head up and turned through the rails away from her, his little body trembling, his neck thick with sweat. He made no indication he'd
even seen the carrot, even though she was certain he must have smelled it. “Okay, how about I come back and visit later? Give you some space?”

She wiggled backward on the grass, not standing up until she was back around the corner and out of Hercules's sight.

Then she grabbed the fence rail and peered through it at the pony, barely able to see him across the distance, but pretty sure he wouldn't see her.

For a long moment he didn't move. Then he finally pulled his head out of the fence and turned to look where she'd been standing. When he didn't see her, he looked around the field carefully, then his little body expanded with a huge sigh and he dropped his head, his nostrils fluttering as the air blew out of his nose.

Then his ears went up, pointing straight at the carrot.

He lifted his head again and looked around the field, pausing to look in her direction. Emily froze, holding her breath.

Hercules pulled his gaze off her and he looked at the carrot, then he slowly took a step away from the fence, his movements cautious as he planted each tiny hoof carefully in the dirt.

He reached the carrot and swept it off the ground
with his teeth, munching eagerly, his tail giving a lazy swish of happy contentment as he ate it. His body wasn't trembling anymore, and he took his time inspecting the ground, snagging every single carrot remnant out of the dirt.

“Okay, Hercules,” Emily said in a normal voice, not hiding when he snapped his head up and looked right at her. “I'll be back later with more carrots, now that I know you like them so much. We're going to be friends.”

Hercules whirled away and galloped across the paddock to the other side, not stopping until he was clear across the field. Then he spun around and looked at her, his head held high, his body stiff.

Emily bit her lip, trying not to think about what had been done to him to make him so afraid of people…but she couldn't help it, and there were tears in her eyes when she turned away to head back to the barn.

She clenched her fists and jutted out her jaw. Somehow she was going to find a way to help Hercules.

Somehow
.

I
t took Emily forty-five minutes to find Aunt Debby to tell her about Hercules and that was because Aunt Debby was in the one place Emily hadn't thought to look: in the stall of the only horse that actually belonged to Emily.

Emily frowned as she walked down the aisle and saw the open door in front of Precious and T.J.'s stall.

T.J. was a chestnut foal with a white crescent moon on his face. His red mane always stuck straight up, and his tail was so short it was barely as long as Emily's forearm. His legs were spindly, but he was running well already. Emily had spent time every day brushing both T.J. and Precious, and it was supposed to be
her
job: the
one horse that she didn't have to ask Aunt Debby if she was allowed to touch.

And now Aunt Debby was taking over T.J. as well?

Emily couldn't help but scowl as she reached the stall and looked inside. Her dad and Aunt Debby were in the stall, huddled over T.J. “Um, hi.”

Neither of them turned around. “Hey, Em.” Her dad was stroking T.J.'s little mane and listening to Aunt Debby talk.

“What's going on?” Emily asked.

“We're checking on T.J.,” her dad said.

Emily frowned. “Is something wrong with him?”

“No, we're doing some initial groundwork with him,” her dad said.

Emily narrowed her eyes. “You're training him?”

“Sort of. In a way.”

“But—” She set her hands on her hips and tried to keep herself calm. “But he's my horse. Aren't I supposed to be working with him? I thought you were going to coach me and I was going to do it?”

Her dad finally looked at her, his brow furrowed. He was wearing jeans and a pair of work boots, a T-shirt and a faded Red Sox hat. He hadn't even shaved! He was looking less and less like the suit-wearing businessman dad she'd had for twelve years and more and more like
someone she didn't even know. “Em, it's important that T.J. be handled correctly from the start. We're just making sure—”

“Why don't you show me what needs to be done with him, and I can do it? How else am I supposed to learn?” She walked into the stall, peering past them at T.J. “At the very least, can't you tell me when you're working with him so I can watch and learn?” It would be so much fun to have something actually to
do
with T.J., since she couldn't ride him.

It was so difficult trying constantly to get Aunt Debby to give her more independence with the horses, and especially Sapphire, that T.J. had been her one relaxing moment of the day: when she knew no one would be looking over her shoulder questioning what she was doing with him. And now to find out that her dad and Aunt Debby had been training him on their own, without even bothering to
tell
Emily, let alone having her help…“He's my horse. I should be included.”

Aunt Debby finally turned to look at her. She had that all-business expression on her face that Emily dreaded. “How's the pony?”

“Hercules?” Emily immediately forgot about being upset about T.J. “Oh, he's terrible.” She quickly explained
the situation with Hercules, knowing as she did that Aunt Debby would never let her be in charge of helping Hercules if she didn't even think Emily was capable of “doing some initial groundwork” with her own horse.

Aunt Debby sighed, her eyes sad. “That poor little guy.”

Emily nodded. “You should have seen how badly he was shaking, and I wasn't even within twenty feet of him.”

Aunt Debby looked at Emily's dad. “What do you think?”

Emily was so surprised, her mouth dropped open. Aunt Debby asking her dad for advice about horses? Her dad hadn't touched a horse in years before they'd arrived at the farm a few weeks ago, and Aunt Debby was a total control freak about the horses. And Aunt Debby trusted her dad's opinion? But not Emily's, even though Emily had been riding her whole life? Emily might not know
everything
, but she knew a lot. She'd heard her aunt asking Alison's opinion on horses, and Alison certainly didn't know more than Emily did.

What did she have to do to get Aunt Debby to take her as seriously as Emily wanted to be taken? It was so aggravating!

Emily's dad played with T.J.'s mane as Precious
happily munched her way through the hay. Her gray coat was already thicker and healthier than it had been when she first arrived, and there was a tiny layer of padding over her ribs now. “Sounds like Hercules needs time. Lots of it.”

Aunt Debby nodded. “I agree. You have time?”

“Not that kind of time.” Emily's dad sounded regretful. “Not with more than thirty extra horses that still need care.”

Aunt Debby nodded. “I don't either.” She looked at Emily. “See what you can do with him.”

“Me?” Emily felt a sudden flash of pride and pulled her shoulders back. “Really?”

Aunt Debby nodded. “Just go and hang out with him. Talk to him. Be in his presence. Let him see that a person can be around him and not have to touch him. Once he lets you near him without getting upset, my schedule should have lightened up and I'll take over with actually socializing him. Maybe take a book out to the paddock and sit down and read.”

Emily sagged. “So you just want me to stand near him and talk to him? To
read
in his presence? That's it? I can't even touch him?”

“Exactly. It will be wonderful for him. Your dad or I will take over the actual work with him once our
schedules clear up, but it's important for Hercules to have human socialization until we're ready. Don't try to touch him. You could do more damage if you do it the wrong way.”

“The wrong way?” Emily echoed, unable to keep the hurt out of her voice. “You don't trust me to be gentle with him?”

“No, no, no,” Emily's dad said quickly. “You're wonderful with horses. But it sounds like Hercules needs a special touch.”

Emily looked back and forth between her dad and her aunt and saw identical expressions on their faces, and she knew they didn't trust her. Not truly, not with something as important as Hercules or T.J. Or riding Sapphire. They trusted her with reading a book in the presence of a horse or giving baths to rescue horses, but not with anything that really mattered. “You do realize that I've been around horses my whole life, don't you? That I'm not a total idiot when it comes to horses?”

Aunt Debby raised her brows. “I don't think you're an idiot—”

“Kyle says you're going to have me ride in the Maiden class at the show, that it's a class for little kids. Is that right?”

“There will be some little kids in there, yes, but
there will also be some kids your age. Anyone who has just started riding will be in there, so it will be a good place to start.” Aunt Debby patted T.J. one more time, then stood up. “There are a few more horses I want your opinion on, Scott, if you have a moment—”

“Wait!” Emily looked at her dad, desperate. “Dad, you know I don't belong in a beginner class with little kids. I've been riding my whole life, and I've won so many times—”

Her dad gave her an affectionate look. “This is different, Em. You're lucky you're eligible for the Maiden class. It'll be a great opportunity for you to build some confidence with jumping. You've done a lot of shows, but this will be a different experience.”

“But—”

Her dad frowned at her, and then used a tone she'd never heard from him before: a tone that said he was the boss and she had to listen to him. “Emily, Aunt Debby knows what she's doing when it comes to horses. I would think you would understand that by now. I trust her instincts, and you should, too. You don't know as much as you think you do, and you're lucky to be on this farm to learn how to handle horses correctly. Okay?”

She stared at him, her heart shriveling. “Wow. You
sound like a real dad.”

He smiled. “Is that a bad thing?”

“Yeah, maybe.” She was horrified at how small her voice sounded, but she couldn't help it. “You know, you used to be my best friend.”

Her dad stared at her for a moment, looking completely confused. “What?”

“Now you're Aunt Debby's.” She tried to keep the tears out of her eyes. “Who cares? I don't need you anyway.” She stalked out of the stall, blinking hard, ignoring both her aunt and her dad as they called out after her.

Why was it so difficult to fit in here? She was a rider, this was a barn…this was her world. Why wouldn't they trust her? Why were they forcing her to work so hard to prove herself?

All she knew is that she couldn't trust them to back her, to believe in her.

At her old barn everyone did. Here…She yanked open Sapphire's stall door and managed a teary smile when he whipped his head toward her and gave a soft whinny. “How do I make them believe in me, Sapphire?”

He perked his ears and gave her that same, adorable look he'd given her and Aunt Debby earlier. The look
Aunt Debby had said was perfect for the model class.

Emily lifted her chin. It was up to her, then. She had to be the one to trust herself and believe in herself. Be a star until she forced everyone else into treating her exactly the way she wanted to be treated. “You're right, Sapphire. We'll win. That's how I'll prove it. You and I will win the model class, I'll win the Maiden class on Moondance so I can't ride Maiden anymore, and I'll save Hercules.” She did a little dance of victory as she imagined holding up that blue ribbon and waving it in her aunt's face. “We'll totally rock, they'll all be in awe, and they'll all want to kiss my toes.”

Sapphire snorted and stomped his foot, and Emily held up her booted foot to his nose. “See this boot? Everyone will be trying to kiss it, and you're the only one who will be allowed.”

He sniffed her foot, then opened his mouth to take a bite.

“Yikes!” She yanked her foot back. “Hey, beautiful, don't start taking advantage of how much I love you. There will be no toes on the menu today, okay?”

There was a snort from behind her and she turned around to find Max peering into the stall. “There's at least one old-timer here that likes me, huh, Max? You want to help me practice making Sapphire stand for the
model class—” She froze as she had a sudden idea.

A brilliant one.

She did a quick dance of excitement, making both horses snort. She gave each horse a cheerful pat, knowing that she'd struck upon the perfect idea for making her toe-kissing plan a reality. “I'll be back in a little bit.”

Then she shooed Max out of the stall, securely fastened the latch on Sapphire's door, and took off at a run, her feet light with excitement and anticipation.