Jocelyn's Choice (5 page)

"I want that," I whispered. "Please . . . ." I was desperate to have him close, but I wasn't sure
how
close.
Was I ready to have sex tonight?

He stopped moving and looked down at me. He seemed to be deep in thought, contemplating my request. He moved his hands down my ribcage and over my hips, then underneath my skirt. He grabbed my panties and slowly pulled them down my legs, before tossing them onto the floor.

My body shook over the reality of taking the next step. I wanted him, but was I ready? My body was screaming with need, but my head kept getting in the way. How was I supposed to know when the right time to sleep with someone was? Alex must have sensed my anxiety, because he pulled back.

"Relax," he whispered. "Just like downstairs, nothing else."

He rolled onto his side and hitched my leg up over his hip. He stroked my bare center, then pulled me into a deep, sensual kiss as he pushed his finger inside me. I was so wet I barely felt it slide inside. He added another finger and began to move at a nice pace as his thumb found my clit.

"Oh . . . ." I moaned. "Feels good . . . ." I closed my eyes and savored the moment.

It was the first time I’d ever been pushed to the brink. The sensation he was creating inside my body was amazing, but I wanted more.

"Come for me," he whispered against my lips. "Let go for me."

"I don't know how . . . ." I moaned. "Oh, God . . . ."

He continued working me with his fingers, then all of a sudden, I pushed violently against his hand, and the next thing I knew, I was trying to catch my breath as Alex pressed kisses along my jaw and neck.

I opened my eyes to find him smiling at me with the most satisfied look on his face. "Alex," I said, "that was, well, I've never . . . ."

"I know, sweetheart." He laughed. "Glad you liked it."

I didn't know much about sex, but I knew he had to be about ready to explode by now. "What about you?"
Shouldn't I make him come or something?

"I'll be fine." He gently kissed my lips.

"But?" I blushed. "If you show me what to do, maybe I could . . . ." I wanted to die. The women Alex was used to being with didn't need to be shown what to do.

"There's no rush, Jocelyn." He tenderly stroked my cheek. "Let's just consider this lesson one."

"When can we get to lesson two?" I smiled.

"I told you you'd be the death of me." He laughed. "Lesson two would entail a little more time, and you have to get home by curfew."

"This is why Max likes you so much; you follow his stupid rules."

"I've been around long enough to know you don't piss off a girl's father, especially when he carries a gun for a living." He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me onto his chest. We stayed that way and talked until I had to leave. He insisted on following me home, though I argued it wasn't necessary. Sarah and Jack were home at this point and agreed that Alex should follow me. Sarah said she wouldn't take no for an answer. Alex said it was because he was such a gentleman, but I knew none of them trusted my old car, and they didn't want anything to happen to me on the way.

I couldn't fight off all three of them. And, I kinda liked the attention.

We sat at his kitchen table, filling out paperwork. Alex was sending in the final papers for his internship, and I was finishing my application for community college.

Somehow, he managed to get me into his lap, and I didn't seem to be getting much work done.

"Alex, you have to stop kissing my neck."

"No, I don't." He laughed as he continued to move his lips against my nape.

"I can't focus." I groaned as I read the same question for the third time.

"You have to learn to multi-task," he said. "I've finished my stuff already."

"That's why you went to Yale." I reminded him.

"You're smart enough for Yale too. Why don't you come to Connecticut with me?"

"Are you crazy? They don't let just anyone in there; it's already April, and Yale's way too expensive for a local cop's kid."

"All right, you make some valid points, but you don't have to go to Yale. There are other schools around there, you know? We could look into one of those."

I shook my head, knowing it was already going to be a struggle for Max to do community college. "I want to stay here."

"Jocelyn." He turned me so I could face him. "I'm not discounting where you're going, but my parents adore you, and my mother is thrilled that you seem to be taming me."

I smiled. "You mean you're not chasing every girl all over town?"

"You know I'm not," he said, then after a pause, he asked, "Don't you?" A worried expression crossed his face.

"I was teasing you." I smiled.

"In any case, my parents would be happy to fund your education."

"What? No, I could never accept that," I said. "It's very nice of you to offer, but please don't ask them to do that."

"They already offered."

"Why would they do that?"

"Because they can. Jocelyn, we have so much, and my parents like to give back."

"I'm not a charity case," I said, annoyed.
Does he really think that's what I want from
them?

"We know that," he said, sounding defensive. "They just really like you and want to help you." He was irritated now. This was the first time since we started seeing each other that he was upset with me.

"Alex, I . . . ."

"Forget it." He shrugged it off. "It's not a big deal. I'm sorry I said anything."

"I don't mean to be ungrateful," I said. "It's just that, I'm fine with my decision to stay here. Max needs me, and I'm not ready to leave."

"Maybe I want you to come."

"You've known me a month." I reminded him. "Why would you want me to come with you?"

"I can't explain it," he said.

"You're not mad because I didn't want to take the money, you're angry because I don't want to go to Connecticut with you?"

"I don't know," he said. "Don't read too much into it, okay? I'm not sure why I suggested it in the first place."

What has gotten into him?
He was fine until the stupid Yale conversation started. I didn't get what I'd done to upset him. He couldn't think I'd just pick up and follow him, could he? Before we had a chance to discuss it any further, Brenna came down the stairs.

"Are you always here?" She was clearly annoyed by my presence. I loved spending time there, but not when Brenna or Julia was around. They made it very obvious they didn't want me there.

"Shut up." Alex warned her. "Jocelyn can be here whenever she wants."

"Whatever." She went to the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water.

I got off Alex's lap and gathered my stuff. I suddenly didn't feel like I belonged there. Alex was being weird, and I wasn't in the mood for Brenna. "I think I'm going to head home."

"Bye," Brenna said, then chugged her water.

"No." Alex grabbed my hand. "I thought we were spending the day together."

"Alex," Brenna said. "Your phone constantly rings with tons of offers from every girl in this town. Everyone knows you're home; you don't need to chase after Evan's leftovers."

"I've never dated Evan." I grabbed my book bag from the chair.

"No, apparently he was the smarter brother." She smiled at Alex.

"Brenna, what the hell is wrong with you?" Alex yelled.

"I'm just looking out for you," she said. "First, she was hanging around here chasing after Evan, and then you come home and now it's all you. She doesn't belong in our world. She sees an opportunity to get a better life, and she doesn't care which one of you gives it to her. Have you seen where she lives? What kind of life she comes from?

Her mother didn't even stick around."

"Shut up! You don't know anything about me."

"Jocelyn," Alex said. "Ignore her."

"I know enough to know why you'd want to be here and not at home."

"There's nothing wrong with my house," I shouted as I headed for the door. "And I don't need anything from any of you!"

"I'm gonna fuckin' deal with you later, but if this has anything to do with that bitch, you'll be sorry!" Alex yelled at Brenna, before coming after me. I had to assume the bitch he referred to was Julia.

He caught me in the foyer before I could get out.

Why does this house have to be so damn big?

"Alex, please," I said. "I just want to go home."

"No, please." He pulled me toward the front staircase. "Come upstairs and talk to me."

"No, it’s okay." I tried to hold back the tears over the humiliation Brenna had caused. "I know what she said isn't your fault." My voice betrayed me as it cracked.

Alex pulled me into an embrace. "She doesn't know anything about you or your circumstances," he whispered, as he led me up the stairs and into his room.

I took a deep breath and stopped the tears. I wouldn't let that rich, spoiled snob get to me. I knew why she was acting this way, and I almost let it work.

Alex handed me a tissue. "I'm so sorry. I'll deal with her later."

"No, I don't want you to fight with your sister. Not over me." I really didn't want to be the cause of any conflict in his family.

"She was rude and out of line," he yelled. "I'll have my father deal with her."

"No." I pleaded with him, hoping he'd change his mind. "Please don't bring your parents into this."

"They won't stand for her behavior," he told me. "Not in this matter."

"Julia isn't the only one who wants you with her," I said. "Do they do this to all the girls you date?"

He shook his head.

"Why me then?" I wondered out loud.

"Jocelyn." He sighed. "You're the only one I've ever invested this much time in.

You're the only one I've ever felt . . . ."

I waited patiently for him to finish his thought.

"I won't allow her to treat you this way," he said, and I saw the anger cross his face again.

"She's nothing like your mom, is she?"

He shook his head. "She wouldn't be."

"I guess not everyone takes after their mother," I said. "I sure don't."

Alex walked over to his dresser and picked up the picture of the woman with the two children sitting in her lap. He sat down next to me and handed it to me.

"I've always wondered about this picture," I told him. "Is she your aunt or something? She resembles you and Brenna."

"This is my biological mother," he said. "Mine and Brenna's."

"What?" I didn't hide my shock very well. "What about Sarah?"

"My father was married before Sarah," he said. "Her name was Alexa Parker Jordan."

"She's beautiful." I smiled, waiting for him to explain.

"Yeah, she was." He looked thoughtful. "I don't really remember her, though."

"Where is she?" I wondered if she had abandoned them the way Liz had me.

"When I was two and Brenna was six months old . . . ." He hesitated, and he looked pained, so I took his hand. "She was killed in a car accident."

"Oh, Alex." I gasped. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. Like I said, I don't remember her. Sarah has always been my mother.

Actually, you're the first person I've ever told about this. Zack knows because his parents are really good friends of the family, but most don't know that Sarah isn't my biological mother, and I'd like to keep it that way."

"Of course." I agreed.

"She is my mother, and I would never want her to feel any different."

"I never would have guessed she wasn't your biological mother," I said. "She loves you all so much."

He smiled.

"Is Sarah Evan's biological mother?" I asked.

He nodded. "When she was killed"—he looked at the photograph—"my dad hired Sarah as our nanny. She came to us at a very crucial time. Brenna and I were babies, and he had just been promoted to head surgeon, one of the youngest in the hospital's history, so there he was, left with two babies and a very demanding job. My mother's family was from Texas, and she was an only child, and her parents couldn't come here and help. Sarah was a godsend, for all of us."

"Jack fell in love with her," I said.

He smiled, and I could tell how much he loved her. "Sarah was just out of college, had relocated here from California, and didn't know anyone. She had been staying with another doctor and his family, and they thought she'd be perfect for us. My dad had to get back to work, but he didn't know what to do about me and Brenna. He didn't want to leave us."

"It must have been so difficult for him."

"He loved my mother," he said. "They met when he was in medical school and she was studying to be a nurse."

My heart broke for Jack and his two young babies, but I found comfort in the fact that it all worked out for them.

"Anyway, Sarah stepped in and cared for all of us; she was the best thing to happen to my father," he said. "She moved in because my father kept late hours at the hospital, and she did all the things a mom would do. She took us shopping, registered me for pre-school, took us to the pediatrician, and she was always here for us.

Apparently, I had a hard time sleeping after my mother's death, and I remember Sarah coming into my room and rocking me back to sleep."

I thought Alex was lucky; I had no memories like that of Liz.

"Because she had no family here, my father insisted that she spend holidays with us, and when we went on vacation, she came with us. Eventually, they fell in love, married, and had Evan."

"You didn't have to share all of that with me," I said. "But, I'm glad you did."

"I wanted you to know." He took the picture from me and placed it on the nightstand. He pushed the hair from my eyes and placed a soft kiss on my lips. "I told you that you were different, but the truth is, you make me different. I want things with you I've never thought about before."

"Alex," I said. "I'm still having a hard time believing you would want to be with me."

"I'm doing everything I can to show you," he said. "This is all very new for me, too."

"I know, Evan told me." I smiled.

"Normally, I'd say he has a big mouth, but in this case, I'm glad he told you about my past," he said. "I was a handful for my parents, and I wasn't always the gentleman you think I am. I had some pretty raging hormones, and I took advantage of a lot of girls."

"From what I've seen when we're in public, most of those girls were happy to let you take advantage of them."

"True." He sighed. "I never took what wasn't offered, and most of the time, I let them know that it would never go further than one or two nights, but still, I hurt a lot of girls, Julia being one of them."

"It's no excuse for the way she throws herself at you," I said. "She should have some self-respect."

Who am I kidding? I'd be throwing myself at Alex, too. Hey, I am!

"What Brenna said about your family and where you come from was ridiculous."

He looked away, and I could tell he was ashamed of his sister.

"You don't need to apologize for her," I said. "I know you don't look at me that way."

"I think you are an amazing girl who has so much potential, and I hope I didn't offend you when I suggested that my parents pay for your education," he said. "My motives were selfish."

"You're not selfish, but you understand why I can't take you up on that offer? It would only prove Brenna's point."

"No, it wouldn't," he said. "But, I understand. We still have three months before I leave, and I want to make the most of them."

"What did you have in mind?"

"I heard you're intrigued by my Harley?" He arched a brow and flashed a wicked grin.

"Evan's big mouth?" I laughed.

"Yeah." He laughed with me. "I bought you your own helmet. You up for a ride?"

"Um, yeah, I've been dying to ask you, but I wasn't sure if you still rode."

"My mom hates when I do, but if my girl wants to do it . . . ."

"Your girl definitely wants to do it!" I leapt to me feet, unable to hide my excitement.

He pulled me into his lap and seductively smirked at me. "What exactly is it that you want to do?"

I slowly pressed my lips to his mouth and ran my tongue along his lips. "Ride your Harley," I whispered, but I could feel through his pants that little cowboy had other ideas.

He kissed me for a few seconds, then groaned and pulled away. "We're not alone," he said. "So, it looks like we're actually going to ride the bike."

"Let's go!" I squealed and hopped off his lap.

"Such an eager girl." He laughed as he got up and smacked my backside.

"For so many things." I winked.

"I'll keep that in mind." He took my hand and pulled me down the stairs and into the garage.

This is going to be such a cool afternoon!