Jocelyn's Choice (6 page)

Six weeks had passed since the day I met Alex in the kitchen. The more time we spent together, the harder it was to keep our hands off each other. Except when we rode his Harley. He took me out on his bike at least twice a week, despite Sarah's disapproval. She said he shouldn't be corrupting me that way and warned Jack would be seeing us in the ER. Alex said she had been making that prediction ever since he bought the bike four years ago. The weather was starting to change, so that meant I'd be taking him up on his promise to take me out on the boat soon.

We often went to dinner or the movies. We hung out with Zack and his girlfriend when I wasn't working at the coffee shop, mostly at the Jordan house, and we always had a good time playing games or watching TV. For the first time, I had a social life. I looked forward to my weekends and couldn't wait to see what Alex had in store for me next.

We were seeing more of one another during the week too. After my last confrontation with Brenna, I decided we should hang out at my house a few times a week, too. It wasn't that I was afraid of her; I just didn't want the drama that went along with her.

Alex would come over and help me with my homework and sometimes watch a game with Max. I liked when he came to our house, because that meant no curfew. Alex often waited out Max, who would eventually go up to bed, leaving Alex and me alone on the couch. Those were some of my favorite evenings. Alex stayed true to his promise about teaching me all I needed to know. Let's just say I was becoming extremely educated.

On that particular night, I was ready for another lesson.

"Max is asleep," I whispered as I trailed my hand down his chest.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." I pushed him down on the sofa and climbed on top of him. "He's a pretty sound sleeper, too."

"Good." He twisted his fingers through my hair just the way I liked him to and yanked me closer to his lips. "I've wanted to kiss you all night." He ran the tip of his tongue along my bottom lip before pressing his mouth to mine and roughly kissing me.

There were times when he could be gentle and tender, and those times were great, but every once in a while he let loose with me, and it always left me wanting more.

I pulled away from his mouth and let my lips explore more of his body. First, I kissed his tight jaw, then the skin just behind his earlobe, before making my way down his neck and throat. If his heavy breathing wasn't enough to tip me off to how much he was enjoying my attentions, I'd have figured it out by the way he was pushing his hips into me.

I moved my lips back up to his mouth as I slipped my hand down his stomach. I took a deep breath and quickly allowed my fingers to brush over his crotch. I was curious, and I wanted to touch him. He jerked his hips forward and pressed against my palm. Panicked, I moved my hand to his thigh.

"Joce, I want you to touch me."

He reached for my hand and ran it over little cowboy while he continued to move into me. The sounds he was making were encouraging, so I moved my hand faster.

"So good, baby." He slipped his hand up under my shirt and ran his fingers over my nipples.

I wiggled my body lower, so I could kiss his chest. His other hand was still tangled in my hair, so he gently guided me lower. I had a pretty good idea of where he wanted me to go. I moved down, until I lay eye-level with his belt buckle. I slowly moved my hand up and tugged at the leather strap until I managed to unbuckle it. With unsteady hands, I unbuttoned his pants and lowered the zipper. I wasn't exactly sure what I intended to do, but I needed to figure it out fast.

"Joce." He gently tilted my chin up, forcing me to make eye contact with him.

"You don't have to do this."

"I know, but I want to make you feel good." I pulled at his jeans, so he raised his hips and helped me slide his pants down.

I'd heard other girls talk about blowjobs before. It didn't sound that hard. Riley, the school slut, once said it was like licking a lollipop. That didn't sound so bad.

Alex let go of my hair, rested his head on the arm of the couch, and closed his eyes.

I leaned down and placed a tentative kiss just below his bellybutton. I followed the faint line of blond hair that trailed down the center of his stomach and disappeared into his boxers. I realized the boxers had to go. I swallowed hard, then pulled them down past his thighs.

Whoa! Little cowboy isn't so little! Will that fit in my mouth?

I turned my head to the side, causing my hair to brush over him.

He mumbled something incoherent and sat up.

"It might be easier if you were down there." He pointed to the floor.

"On my knees?"

"I just want you to be comfortable."

You're the expert.
I shrugged and scooted to the floor as he rested his back against the sofa, slouching down, closer to my mouth. When he shifted positions, his pants pooled around his ankles. I had to take them off so I could get in between his legs. I leaned forward, took little cowboy in my hand, and lowered my mouth to him. I noticed the tip was glistening, and I briefly wondered if it would taste bad.

Only one way to find out.

I swirled my tongue over the head a few times before wrapping my lips around half the length.

"Joce," Alex whispered as I moved my head up and down, "just like that."

The more I moved, the more his hips pushed into my face. He reached down and placed his hand over mine, showing me that I should move my hand too. He kept his hand on top of mine as he ran his other hand through my hair, setting the pace for how he wanted me to suck him off.

"Your mouth is so hot. You're so good at this."

"Hmm . . . ." I hummed around him.

"Oh . . . you have to . . . ." He suddenly pulled back, causing little cowboy to pop out of my mouth. He placed his hand over the tip as I continued to stroke him. "I'm gonna come."

I felt warm liquid shoot between my fingers and trickle down my wrist. I didn't know if it was because I was caught up in the moment, but I had to squeeze my legs together to stop my own wetness from seeping out. I liked the feeling of his semen on my hand, and I kinda wished he hadn't pulled away when he came. I wanted to taste him. The idea was very sexy.

He pushed the hair from my face and smiled down at me. "Sorry about the mess."

"That's what's supposed to happen, right?"

"Yeah." He laughed. "That's exactly what's supposed to happen."

I crawled up and sat in his lap. I didn't care that we were messy. I just wanted to be close to him.

He leaned into my face and kissed my lips, slipping his tongue inside my mouth and massaging it against my own. It was a slow, sensual kiss and it made me wetter.

"Was it okay?" I spoke against his mouth.

"It was better than okay." He kissed me again. "The best ever."

"I don't believe that." I smiled. "But it's sweet of you to say."

"I promise, Joce, when I'm with you, it all means so much more."

I rested my head on his shoulder, wishing I could keep him here forever. I hated the thought of him leaving in a few months, especially when everything was going so great.

Our physical relationship had progressed, and we were now to the point where it was almost painful to stop. His fingers inside me weren't enough anymore. I didn't want to wait any longer, and I knew Alex probably never wanted to wait in the first place, but he was being patient with me. I assured him I was more than ready. I knew after being with him, I'd have no regrets and I had hoped once we were together, he'd finally see how much he meant to me. I wanted to show him how much I loved him.

* * * * *

The science project was finally finished and turned in. We got an
A
, but that didn't come as a shock to either Jordan boy. They never got anything less, and I was happy I was there for the ride.
Hey! Face it; I did work my butt off for that grade.
Now our senior year was coming to an end, but that didn't bother me as much as Alex having to leave in July.

One particular evening, Alex picked me up and took me to his house. Evan and Cali were going to the prom, and I wanted to see them before they left. After hearing everyone at school talk about it all week and seeing a picture of Cali's dress, I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed I wasn't going. It wasn't something I would regret, because it had never really been anything I had wanted to do, but I did think it might have been fun to get dressed up and go with Alex by my side. I gave a mental shrug. I didn't need a prom or a pretty dress to be happy. I still had Alex, and that was really all I wanted.

We parked in the driveway and got out of the car, but I stopped when I saw Julia's SUV.

"What is it?" Alex asked.

"You didn't tell me Julia was going to be here."

"They wanted to see Evan leave for the prom." He squeezed my hand. "They'll behave, because Ryan's here, and he doesn't put up with any of Brenna's shit."

"Maybe I should just wait outside," I said. "I don't want to be the reason Evan's night gets ruined."

"You're not waiting outside," he told me. "Brenna knows how close I came to telling Dad what she said that day. She's not going to risk him cutting off her allowance, especially when she's due for a new car."

"Jack would withhold a car for that?"

"He puts up with a lot of Brenna's stuff—she's a daddy's girl—but he wouldn't tolerate her being anything but compassionate and respectful to another person, especially in our home."

"If you think it'll be okay." I shrugged. I wasn't totally convinced Brenna would behave, but I couldn't exactly wait outside without looking like an idiot.

"I won't let anyone hurt you." He smiled. "And besides, once they leave for the prom, everyone else has plans tonight, so we have the house to ourselves."

That could be interesting!

Evan and Cali looked like a Hollywood couple headed to a red-carpet event.

They were perfect together, and they looked so happy. Cali's dress probably cost more than all the clothes in my closet.

Alex was right; Brenna was on her best behavior . . . probably because Ryan was there, and Julia didn't have the nerve to pick on me in front of Jack and Sarah. She did everything she could to kiss their asses, no doubt hoping that someday they'd be her in-laws. She did shoot me a couple dirty looks when no one else was looking, but each time she did, I made sure I inched closer to Alex and touched him in some subtle way. I could tell my actions infuriated her. That thought made my night.

Alex walked outside with Ryan to see his new car, and thankfully Brenna and Julia went with him. Jack and Sarah went out to meet friends for dinner and said they probably wouldn't be home until much later. Alex and I had the entire house to ourselves, and, judging from our recent physical activities, I knew what we'd be doing.

I went up to his room and crawled into his bed. It was always so comfortable.

The sheets were so soft, the comforter fluffy, and the pillows just right, and all the bedding smelled of him. I took my shoes off and tossed them in the corner, then stretched out across the bed. I closed my eyes and thought about how much I wanted to be with him. I was scared for so many reasons:
will it hurt really badly, can I please him,
what if the condom breaks?

My stomach suddenly started to hurt.
A condom?
The reality set in. I was going to have sex with Alex, a man five years older than me. How many times had he done this and with how many girls? I didn't want to know. My throat was dry, and I felt nauseous.
This is crazy
. I shook my head, fighting back nerves. I had control of the situation. If I didn't want to do anything, I didn't have to. Alex would never force me.

He'd waited six weeks, and I knew that hadn't been easy for him, but if I had doubts, he wouldn't pressure me.

"Hey." He smiled as he walked into the room and climbed into bed with me.

"What are you doing up here?"

"Waiting for you," I said. "I hope that was okay."

"I'll never complain about finding you in my bed." He pulled me against his chest. "But did you want to order something to eat?"

"I'm not hungry," I told him. "How was Ryan's new car?"

"Sweet," he said. "And Brenna will be in her glory riding around in it. She's so materialistic."

"How could you not be, around here?" I reminded him. "You guys have everything."

"Does that bother you?"

"No," I said. "When I first started hanging out with Evan, I didn't want him to come to my house because I was embarrassed, and I think that's why we always hung out here. I hated pulling up in my old car and parking in your driveway, especially after seeing what kind of cars you all drove. My clothes, compared to Brenna's, or Evan's, for that matter, were laughable."

"Jocelyn, stop it," he said. "We don't look at those things."

"I know that now," I said. "And, with the exception of Brenna, I know you guys don't care about those things."

"No, we don't," he said. "But I do have something for you." He reached over to his nightstand, picked up a small box, and handed it to me.

"What's this for?" I asked.

"It's something I wanted you to have, and I hope you'll accept it."

"You didn't have to get me anything," I told him. "You already take me out all the time, and you always pay. I don't need gifts too."

"This is more of a necessity," he said. "Just open it."

I did what he asked and opened the box. I didn't know what to say.

"You have to be the only teenage girl on the planet who doesn't have a phone,"

he said. "I don't know how you manage."

"You bought me a cell phone?"

"It's extremely frustrating not being able to call or text you," he said. "I've taken care of the contract, so you don't have to worry about a bill."

"I had a phone," I said. "But, there was this writer's workshop over at the college I wanted to attend. The instructor was a published author, and it seemed really interesting."

"You write?" he asked. "Why have you never told me that?"