July (The Year of The Change Book 1) (11 page)

"You're going to break the tree, it's not strong enough."

"Sure it is. You just want Sylv to yourself." He peeked up at me. "Hi, Sylv. I'm here to save you from boredom incarnate."

The tree groaned.

"Did you feel that? The tree isn't strong enough."

"Then get down, big brother, it's my turn." Mark elbowed Kevin's shoulder. It made Kevin wobble and grab the window sill.

"Maybe you don't get a turn." Kevin pushed back.

When the shoving started, I knew everyone had to be able to hear what was going on. There was a popping sound. Kevin’s limb sagged ominously when Mark stepped on it to get to a better vantage point. Kevin grabbed for the house to steady himself. His hand went through the screen instead. I jumped back and fell onto the bed startling Tam awake. With my arm around her, I listened as there was a low groan and then another snap. I could see in my mind’s eye Kevin and Mark crash to the ground in the midst of dust and tree limbs, all the while still arguing in whispers. The thud as they hit sounded like it had to hurt. Tam and I rushed to the window to see what happened.

In the process of Kevin trying to jump to another limb and the two of them hanging on as they both fell to the same side, the young tree snapped in half and landed on them, the window screen still in Kevin’s hand.

All I could see were arms and legs moving amidst the limbs and leaves, both jockeying for position as they swung at each other. They were whispering insults as though the whole area hadn’t heard them. If this had happened in our little subdivision in Midwest City, most of the neighbors would’ve shown up by now. Actually, they did, once. Remember I mentioned Tracy Walton? Very embarrassing.

A beam of light bounced quickly around the corner of the house.

Jim shined a flashlight on the guys still tussling under the tree. “What do you two think you’re doing at this time of night?” He growled.

The boys were in big doo-doo.

He handed the light to Barbara, who was in her bathrobe and trembled. She couldn’t be cold in this hot, humid night with no breeze to speak of. Jim was furious. He pulled the tree off the squirming pile and threw it to the side.

"Oh, my Sarvisberry tree! My mother gave that to me." Barbara looked like she wanted to cry.

The guys were still wrestling, oblivious to their father’s presence. Kevin had the upper hand, but Mark had him by the throat, trying to get a swing to impact with his brother’s face. Kevin would not cooperate. Mark spotted Tam and me hanging out the window gawking at them and he fiercely tried to buck Kevin off. I’d caused this, it was all my fault.

Jim dragged his sons apart and my dad joined him to help pull the boys to their feet. Kevin’s shirt was torn and dirt caked his jeans. Mark wiped his bloody nose on his sleeve. They fumed at each other like only two angry teenage brothers could.

Dad looked up at me with a frown and I cowered back behind Tam. He took hold of Mark and the two fathers marched the guys away.

I pulled Tam inside, shut the window and locked it. Dad was mad and I knew I was going to catch it big time. I hoped he would wait until tomorrow to lecture me, when he’d cooled down. Tam and I got in bed and listened to Jim yelling downstairs. As my grandfather would say,
'he was ready to spit nails.'
And the guys were getting chewed out. The voices faded away and I wondered what was going on. My imagination ran off screaming in the dark. Jim wouldn’t beat his sons, would he?

The house became quiet and soon Tam was snoring softly. I didn’t know how she could sleep at a time like this. I definitely wouldn’t sleep until I knew my dad had gone back to bed. I paced the room, too nervous to lie down … too scared to close my eyes.

I
should
have
ignored Kevin tapping at the window and turned out the light. I
should
have
gone right to sleep in the first place. No, actually, I
should never
have come on this trip. Is it too late to not be born at all?!

I heard footsteps on the stairs. They stopped outside my door. “I’m sorry, Len. I don’t know what got into my boys.” Jim sounded embarrassed.

“It’s okay, Jim, they’re at that age.” My father chuckled

Why is it that people always seemed to explain away crazy behavior in boys by their age? Was there ever an age when they didn’t act crazy?

“I remember what it was like back then. I’m going to check on Sylvia before I go to bed. Goodnight, Jim.”

I quickly moved the chair and unlocked the door.

He slipped in. “You alright?” In the dark I couldn’t tell how mad he was.

I braced myself for the chewing out I was going to get. “I’m fine. I’m sorry Dad, I know I shouldn't -”

He pulled me into his chest, smothering the last of my words. “It’s okay, Sylv. I’m not mad at you.” That was a relief. “But Jim is livid with Kevin and Mark.” He chuckled. “Barb made us take them to the basement because Jim couldn’t keep his voice down.” He stifled a laugh. “The boys are furious at each other, but they’re too scared of their father to do anything about it.” He shook with more silent laughter. “Jim made each one apologize to me separately. Oh, tomorrow they each have to apologize to you, too.”

I groaned. "No, Dad. I should be apologizing to them." Guilt beat me soundly for having caused the problem. Now I would have to endure apologies that I didn’t deserve.

"You know you can't apologize without explaining why."

"I wish I could explain."

"I'm sorry you can't, but it won't be that bad."

Yes it would be that bad and more, however I wasn't going to argue with my father. "Yes, sir." Sigh. For my part in all this I guess this would be my punishment.

Dad hugged me tighter “Now Sylv, it’s important they apologize so don’t dismiss this. Jim said Mark has had trouble with his anger as of late and needs to learn to control it.” My heart wasn’t in it as I nodded. I should be the one to beg forgiveness.

"Sylv, Mark needs to make this apology. It's important he realizes his actions affect others and such actions like tonight can't be tolerated. Promise me you'll take this seriously."

"Okay." I squeaked from his chest.

Dad patted my shoulder and turned to leave, instead he turned back. "Would you say Kevin or Mark was more out of control?"

That was an odd question.

"Mark. Kevin hasn't been too bad."

Dad looked at his feet as he pondered. "Yeah, that's what I thought, too. Kevin's actually handled …" He waved his hands, we really didn't have a word for The Change's odd affect. "… it, quite well."

"Yeah, he has." I agreed softly. If it hadn't been for tonight, his behavior would’ve been exemplary.

"Well, goodnight." He closed the door and I was alone.

I didn't get chewed out.
Hmph.
I locked the door and put the chair in place before I climbed into bed. I was now emotionally exhausted. My eyes closed without a fight.

Apologies

Have you ever had the feeling you were being watched? You know, without opening your eyes or turning around, that someone was watching you.

The sensation pulled me from an odd dream of running in a forest. As my wits came back, I could hear breathing and the tingle of air as it passed over my arm, by my side. Someone was
way
too close and the bed moved slightly from fidgeting. I didn’t want to open my eyes for fear of what I would have to deal with. Which one of the boys was it?

I lay still and hoped the watcher would leave. This obnoxious person wasn’t going away and I couldn’t take the suspense any longer. A thought occurred that perhaps I could get the upper hand. I braced myself and breathed in.

With a shout I sprang upright. “BOO!” I flailed my arms and as my eyes adjusted I readied to run.

My little brother flung himself backwards with the shock of my sudden movement. I felt bad when he tripped and hit his head on the wall.

He slid to the floor with his eyes bugged out. “Ow!”

Jumping to his side, I cradled him in my arms. “I’m sorry, Tim. I didn’t mean for you to get hurt.”

He rubbed his head. “Why’d ya have to do that for?” He was mad at me.

“I didn’t know it was you. I thought it might be one of the other boys.”

What would I have done if this had been Kevin who’d fallen and hit his head? I shook my myself and forced that thought out of my mind

He sat up in my arms. “Ya coulda warned me.”

I laughed. “Okay, next time I’m sound asleep and someone is breathing over me I’ll assume it’s you and warn you that I’m going to scare you, okay?”

Tim chuckled. “You’re weird, Sylv.”

“Yeah, I know.” I took a look at the small bump on the back of his head. “By the way, why in the world were you watching me sleep?” Tim did all kinds of weird things, but this was a new one.

“Dad said I couldn’t wake you up before six, because you had a late night last night.” He scrunched up his nose. “It’s not fair that you get to stay up so much later than me.”

I looked over at the alarm clock on the night stand, it read five, fifty-nine. Suddenly, I felt very tired. It had been well after midnight by the time the dust settled and my eyes closed for the last time. Every time there was a noise I’d jerked awake until I was too tired to hear anything.

Tim pried himself from my arms and left, still rubbing his head.

Just one thing was on my mind when I stood. I peeked out the door before dashing to the bathroom. The coast was clear both ways and I got back to my room without anyone seeing me. Locking the door I changed into a comfortable traveling outfit. Today would be a very long and boring day. I made sure I had two books to read and my player with the pack of CDs. The one on top was 'The Best of Three Dog Night' that Donny gave me as a going away gift. I missed my best-best buddy.

At first, I couldn’t find my earphones and panicked. They had slipped down beside my good shoes in the suitcase. I breathed a gust of air in relief. When the twins started bickering – which they would -- I could put the ear-buds in and crank up the sound, blissfully ignoring them. I put everything in my worn swim tote.

Any other year, I would’ve put on make-up. I’d forgone make-up for the duration of the year. Less than six months and I would get to be normal again. Sigh. Grabbing my suitcase and tote, I made my way downstairs. Normal … whatever that would be.

I arrived on the first floor at the same time Mark came out of the basement rubbing his eyes. There was a bruise on his chin and a scuff mark on his forehead. My heart sank and guilt whopped me a big one.

He looked at me and smiled. “Good morning, Sylv.” Even at this early hour he was a handsome boy, when he wasn’t frowning. His hair stood up in all the wrong directions, but his smile was perfect.

“Good morning, Mark.”

He raked his fingers through his locks as he noticed my suitcase. His smile disappeared. He reached over and took my stuff. “Here, I’ll take those out for you.” He didn’t look me in the eye as he turned, with shoulders slumped, and went out the side door.

“Thank you, Mark.” I called after his hasty departure.

The door closed behind him. A whispered moan escaped as I remembered I would have to endure an apology from him, one I didn’t deserve, or want.

The aroma of pancakes wafted from the kitchen and smacked me in the nose, causing my stomach to wake up. I could hear Sue and Barbara talking while they made enough food for an army. Entering the doorway my stomach growled approvingly.

“Can I help?”

The two women worked in sync and I felt intrusive.

Sue glanced over from a large electric griddle. “Good morning, how’d you sleep?”

I shrugged. “Okay.” No use pretending otherwise since I saw my reflection in the bathroom.

Barbara smiled up from the stove. “We’ve got it covered here. You could check with Tam and see if the table is ready.”

I usually had to drag Tam out of bed so it was weird having her wide awake before I was. I turned to see my little sister finishing up.

“It looks like she did all the work.” I smiled at her.

My not so
little
sister beamed up at me, proud of herself. She’d grown up a lot in the last couple of years. Actually, she’d grown up a lot this year. She didn’t have much of a choice because of The Change.

“Then, why don’t you go call the guys from the barn.” Barbara flipped pancakes.

Out the side door and around the house was the barn. Dad and Jim talked and joked so loud they could be heard from the yard. I peeked in the door. Dad laughing so hard he held onto the rail of a stall to keep from falling over. This year, laughter had been at a minimum. It was good to see his blue eyes crinkle with merriment. I’d almost forgotten how handsome he was when he wasn’t frowning or worried. Jim was in the stall, next to Dad, laughing hard enough he held his ribs.

Even though I didn’t know what the joke was about, I couldn’t help laughing, too. Tim and Randy popped their heads up near Dad.

“Hi, Sylv! We’re –” Tim began.

Randy shushed him and Tim looked at the other boy quizzically.

Both men jerked their heads up at the sound of Tim’s greeting. Dad started a new round of laughter. Jim looked like he was holding something down while he too chuckled loudly. I took a step to see what was so funny.

Jim stopped me with a raised hand. “No, Sylvia, you’d better stay there.”

Though puzzled I stood still. “What’s so funny?” I wanted in on the joke. I hated being left on the outside and not a part of what was going on.

Tim opened his mouth, but one look at Dad and he turned it into a broad smile.

Dad turned away from the stall with his hands on his knees as he struggled to breathe. “Oh nothing, you’d better go back to the house.” He waved me away.

I fought back the feeling of not being wanted. Tim got to be in on the joke, of course, he was a boy. I once heard Sue tell another woman that all men want a son. I couldn’t do that right, either. I wanted to stay and enjoy this rare time with my dad in such a good mood. Instead I obeyed. I still didn’t know what was so funny … still on the outside, always on the outside. It must’ve been a guy thing and I’m just a girl.

“Okay, but Barbara said to tell ya’ll it’s time to eat.” I backed towards the door not wanting to miss anything that might happen.

Jim waved. “Okay, we’ll be in shortly.” He snorted and looked down. “Well, some of us will.”

Dad struggled to control more laughter and Jim looked to be dodging something. Where were the two older boys? A still, small voice told me I didn't want to know.

Leaving the barn I shook my head. Guys weren’t easy to understand, especially adult ones.

In the house, I went straight to the kitchen window to see what the guys were up to. Jim came out and got a hose, turned on the faucet, and strung it into the barn. Pretty soon Mark and Kevin came out soaking wet with the other men and boys right behind them, still laughing. The two brothers looked like half drowned puppies. They were mad and walked as far from each other as they could and still be going the same direction.

Barbara looked out the window
and tisked
before she hurried from the kitchen.

Sue joined me. “What happened to them?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know, but Dad sure thought it was funny.” The boys dripped as they walked from the barn. Now I was glad I hadn’t gone in all the way, after all. I probably would’ve been as embarrassed as they were.

She grinned. “I can’t wait to hear about this story. It looks like a good fifty miles worth.”

Dad was a good story teller and could stretch them out to last a while. I was afraid the story was going to connect to me … and The Change. It was a well-founded fear.

The guys entered the mud room and went straight downstairs. It was good I didn’t have to face them before they had dry clothes on.

The fathers and the two youngest boys came inside and we brought out the food. The men informed us we weren’t waiting for the older boys. Dad and Jim smirked at each other.

With the blessing said we passed the food. All of us females were dying to know and no matter how much we asked the males weren’t talking.

Kevin and Mark slipped in quiet and penitent. They each came to a screeching halt as they looked at me, sitting between Dad and Randy. The older boys would have to sit at the ‘kids’ table. They frowned at their little brother who had a Cheshire cat grin.

Dad turned to Tim. “Thanks for getting Sylvia up for me.”

So that was it, Dad had sent him to wake me at a certain time.

Tim swallowed his food. “No problem.” He turned to Mark and Kevin. “Never wake up my sister in the morning.” He rubbed the lump on the back of his head. “She’s
really
scary.”

Food almost sprayed from my mouth when a laugh exploded from my gut. I didn’t turn around to see their reaction. I could just imagine what they were thinking.

Breakfast was nice. Mark and Kevin kept quiet and the adults did most of the talking. Dad and Jim talked about all their mishaps in the army. All the while, they stole glances at the older boys.

I really wanted to know what happened in the barn. Still no one spilled the beans. Whenever I did glance at the kids’ table they would quickly look down. I couldn’t tell if they were embarrassed about what happened in the barn or if they were dreading the apologies. They probably weren’t dreading them nearly as much as I was.

After breakfast, Barbara wouldn’t let us help. “I’ll do it later,” she firmly insisted, and shooed us out of the kitchen so we could get the minivan packed.

I helped Tam with her suitcase and made sure Kevin’s room was straightened and the bed made. Next, all the food wrappers went out to their burn barrel so no one would guess how much I really ate.

Our minivan was packed, the photos were taken, and I couldn’t avoid it any longer. I would have to face the apologies. Everyone was in the front yard when Jim reminded the boys they had something to do. They’d rolled dice and Mark had lost so he had to go first.

He looked at the ground for a moment before grabbing my hand and pulling me over by the pond so we could have some privacy. Dad flinched and Sue grabbed his arm to hold him back. The women worked hard to get a conversation going. They had to keep pulling the twins back. Kevin, with his arms crossed over his muscular chest, watched intently and ignored everyone else.

The full body blush pulsed inside me. There was no way I could look at Mark who had to be frowning. Oh, how I hated The Change.

When I did look up he stared to the right, over my head, to the left and then at his feet. He stammered around his apology. “I shouldn’t have gone out and climbed the tree that Kevin shouldn’t have been in in the first place." He waved an arm to emphasize his words. "If he wasn’t such a know it all, it wouldn’t have been so bad.” He shoved his hands into his pockets.

Understanding dawned. Mark wasn’t mad at Kevin because of me. I relaxed and listened to his anger as he voiced it. I didn’t cause it, I just exacerbated the situation. He had real anger issues, aimed at Kevin, which he wasn’t dealing with. Dad was right: he did need to make this apology as much as I hated to hear it. Suddenly, I could see the book I’d been forced to read for a stupid Psychology class. It was as clear as though it were open right in front of my nose. This was odd. This kind of clarity had never happened before.

Mark took a breath, still frowning, and I took over. “Mark, I’m so glad to know you’re not mad at me.”

He looked up for the first time and opened his mouth to speak.

I didn’t let him. “I’m not sure what you’re mad at, but I’m glad it’s not me … or even Kevin.”

“Yes, it is.” He took a quick breath. "Kevin, I mean.” He clenched his jaw

I shook my head and smiled. “No, according to a class I took, you’re using Kevin as your way to get the anger out. You love your brother.”

He shook his head dubiously and I chuckled. The very chapter I needed was right there for me to quote from, so clear I could almost touch it.