Substitute Bride (Beaufort Brides Book 2) (8 page)

He had no idea what had gotten into her. She’d never been
defiant with him like this before.

And he liked it. Quite irrationally, he liked it. It felt
more like the real her was coming out at last.

“I think it’s presumptuous to assume you know what I’m
thinking, when I’ve told you straight out that I’m not.”

“You’re making the assumption that you always say exactly
what you mean. I don’t know anyone who does that.”

His mind was still whirling, but for a different reason now.
He was aware of nothing in the world but Rose, and she seemed to fill his
entire consciousness. Her mouth was set, her cheeks were flush, and her eyes
were full of feeling. Her damp hair tumbled down around her shoulders, and her
lush body was like the sweetest temptation.

It was wrong. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t seem to
care very much. His body and mind were both pulsing now with how much he wanted
her.

“Do you really want me to say exactly what I mean?” he
demanded, his voice thick and hoarse.

“It wouldn’t be a bad idea. It can’t be healthy to keep
everything always bottled up the way you do.”

“You think I should let it out?” He was leaning forward now,
irresistibly drawn.

“What you’ll do and what you should do don’t often seem to
be the same thing.”

“So you think I won’t?”

“I know you won’t.” She gave him a little smile. “In all the
time I’ve known you, you’ve never let out what you really think or feel. You’re
not likely to do so now.”

It was like a dare or a challenge, and there was no way
James could let it go unanswered. He didn’t want to let it go, since she was
voicing exactly what he wanted, he needed, he’d never believed he could have.

He leaned forward even more until he could take her face in
his hands. Then he kissed her. Hard.

She gasped against his mouth, clearly taken by surprise, but
then almost immediately her hands were going up to his face too, her palms pressing
against his jaw.

He felt her body softening and her lips starting to move
with his, and the pleasure surged up inside him until he couldn’t think or see.
He leaned forward even more, until both of them tumbled backward onto her
chaise.

He didn’t let the awkward move stop him. He needed this so
much that it was like his body had a will of its own. He moved over her more
securely in the chaise and claimed her lips again.

“James,” she gasped, breaking off the kiss but clearly not
trying to make the embrace end yet. She moved one hand up to clutch at his hair
and the other down to stroke his back.

She’d always called him Mr. Harwood, and something thrilled
inside him at hearing her say his name like that. Her body was rocking against
his, and he couldn’t get enough of the feel of it.

He ran his lips across her smooth cheek until he’d reached
her lips once more. He slid his tongue over the top and then bottom lip before
he slipped it into her mouth. She opened for him readily, everything about her
passionate and eager. His body throbbed with urgent need as their tongues
tangled together.

She was soft and warm and feminine, and his hands started to
move over any of the curves he could reach. He’d never felt anyone like her
before, and it spurred on his desire.

He was completely out of control, devouring her mouth and
rocking his growing erection against her middle. He needed a release badly, and
he needed it to be in her body.

Maybe he’d always wanted this. Maybe he’d just never known
it until now.

There was no telling what he would do, how far he would go,
if they hadn’t heard a noise from the backyard gate.

It sounded like the latch clicked, and both of them jerked
as the sound broke through their passionate interlude.

James was panting as he looked over toward the gate. He
caught a faint glimpse of someone leaving—like they’d come to the gate and then
turned around.

“Who is it?” Rose asked breathlessly, as if she’d seen too.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. A different kind of urgency
compelled him to heave himself to his feet, his erection still throbbing and
every muscle in his body tight.

He walked stiffly over to the gate and looked out. A car had
just pulled out of the driveway and was racing down the street with squealing
tires.

It wasn’t Marta. He was sure of that, because she drove a
silver sedan and this car was red.

The only person he knew with a red car was Genevieve, but
surely she wouldn’t…

He wouldn’t put it past her to come unannounced, but she
wouldn’t have left without a confrontation. Not if she’d seen him kissing Rose
like that.

Rose was standing up when he returned, and she was pulling
on a cover-up. “Who was it?” she asked, looking flushed and confused.

“I don’t know.” He shook his head. “It looked kind of like
Genevieve, but I don’t think she would have…” He trailed off.

The truth was, he had no idea what Genevieve would do,
especially after what Marta had just told him.

“Oh.” Rose cleared her throat. “I meant to tell you earlier,
but there wasn’t a good time. My sister said that Genevieve was at a party a
couple of days ago, claiming that you two were still engaged.”

He almost groaned, realizing this was going to be a big
deal, no matter how much he wanted to push it under the rug. “Yeah. Marta told
me the same thing. Evidently, she’s gotten everyone thinking that I’m just
hesitating about the marriage because I feel guilty about moving on after Melissa
has died.”

“But that’s crazy! Surely she doesn’t think she can trick
you into marrying her that way.”

“I don’t know. She doesn’t think like you and me.”

“I guess not.”

He looked at Rose and suddenly remembered he’d been close to
making love to her, just a minute before. He would have too, if someone hadn’t
interrupted them.

She was his nanny. His
nanny
. There was absolutely no
way he could give into his feelings for her—not if he wanted her to remain his
nanny.

His little girls would be lost without her.

So would he.

He couldn’t lose her, which meant he could never really have
her.

He had to do something to make it better. Right now. Before
everything started to fall apart, before his world really turned into chaos the
way it had been after Melissa had died.

Rose was looking awkward and a little embarrassed, and he
knew she was wondering what was going on.

So he told her. “I’m sorry about that. Before.”

Rose blinked. “Oh. Okay.”

“I mean, I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

“I didn’t mean for it to either.”

He didn’t really like the sound of that, but he knew it was
for the best. He gave a curt nod, avoiding looking at her face because she
looked so much like what he wanted. “Good. So we’ll pretend it never happened.
Okay?”

There was a longish pause before she answered, “Okay. It
never happened.”

James tried to be happy that it was resolved and nothing
that occurred would get in the way of their working relationship.

But he wasn’t.

He wasn’t happy at all.

“Is there some way to get them
professionally cleaned, do you think?” Kelly asked, frowning as she rubbed a
dust cloth over the fur of one of the feline members of the Pride.

Rose had pulled the oldest of the stuffed Siamese cats out
from the alcove where it was kept—usually behind curtains, when there was any
chance of company, since their grandmother had discovered early that a lot of
people were rather taken aback by her strange choice in collectables.

Rose shook her head, looking at the macabre frozen face and
glassy eyes of the creature. This one had died long before she was born. “I’m
sure there is, but how much would it cost to get all of them clean? Probably a
fortune, and we’re just now paying to do all those clothes. We can’t always be
asking Deanna and Mitchell for money. It’s not right.”

“I know,” Kelly said with a sigh. She wore two long braids
in her hair, as she always did, and her glasses were slipping down her nose. “I
just hate that, even after we’ve finally got the house redone so nice,
everything still seems to be crumbling around us.”

“I guess that happens when you love old things.” Rose gave
her sister a smile, wishing the girl didn’t have to always worry all the time.
She was just twenty—and still in college. Most girls that age weren’t forced to
spend their time thinking of ways to scrape together enough money to take care
of all of the family heirlooms.

Rose and Kelly continued dusting the Pride and their alcove
in silence.

It was Sunday, Rose’s day off, and she usually spent it over
at the Beaufort house, since it was one of the only times in the week that she
was guaranteed time to spend with her family. She’d come over as usual first
thing this morning, and she wasn’t sure whether she’d go back to the Harwoods
this afternoon or not.

She’d told the girls she’d swim with them this afternoon,
and she hated to break a promise.

But she also wanted to avoid James as much as possible.

She couldn’t believe what had happened yesterday. She
couldn’t believe she’d gotten so out of control, that she’d surrendered to her
feelings the way she had.

She couldn’t believe she’d actually kissed her boss.

She also couldn’t believe he’d kissed
her
.

The whole interlude was like a hot blur of sensation and
emotion, and she could hardly remember specific details of how it had happened.
Because of the interruption and the confusion about whether it was Genevieve
who had come by and caught them, the embrace had come to an abrupt end.

That was good. Who knew what would have happened if they
hadn’t been interrupted.

It was one thing to try to pretend a
kiss
never
happened. It would have been something entirely different to pretend sex had never
happened.

Rose shivered at the thought of having sex with James,
although she knew it was something she’d never experience. Not in real life,
anyway.

She was trying to push the whole subject out of her mind, so
she wouldn’t brood, when Kelly asked unexpectedly, “So the engagement is off,
huh?”

Rose stiffened her shoulders and tried not to show any
reaction on her face. “Yeah. I guess so.”

“That’s a good thing, isn’t it?”

“I guess so.”

“She seemed like a real bitch when she came over here the
other day.”

Swallowing hard, Rose couldn’t help but agree, although she
tried to resist the impulse. “She wasn’t at her best.”

“Maybe. But her worst really sucks.” Kelly slanted her
sister a look. “Aren’t you happy the engagement is off?”

“Why would I be happy?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Because you don’t want your boss to marry
anyone else?”

Rose met her sister’s eyes coolly. “If you have something to
say…”

“I don’t have anything to say except you get all jittery and
aloof whenever you talk about him—especially lately. I was wondering if that
meant anything.”

It wasn’t surprising that Kelly had noticed something.
Deanna had obviously noticed the same thing. Rose had never been good at hiding
her feelings, and the sisters had always been close. “What does it matter?”

“What do you mean? Of course it matters, especially since it
looked to me like he might be feeling some stuff for you too.”

“Whatever he’s feeling doesn’t matter.”

“Why doesn’t it—”

“Because I’m the nanny of his kids, and he’s never going to
cross that line. He lives his life all careful and tidy, with everything
carefully categorized in its appropriate place. I’m in the nanny category,
which is where I belong. Plus, I kind of think he’s still trying to find a
substitute for his wife, and I’d be a terrible substitute. I’m not anything
like her.”

“Surely he’s not actually looking for an exact replacement,
is he?”

“I don’t know. Not consciously, I’m sure. But I really think
that’s how he ended up with Genevieve—because she was so much like his wife,
only more selfish and manipulative, I hope. I don’t think his wife was cold
like she is. He claims he doesn’t feel guilty about moving on, but sometimes I
wonder if he does—and that’s why he’s looking for someone just like her.
Anyway, I’m nothing like what he’d be looking for, so it’s never going to
happen.”

Kelly was looking at her closely. “Okay,” she said lightly.
“Then I guess it doesn’t really matter.” She paused. “Right?”

“Right.”

“Why do you look like you’ve just broken Grandmama’s
favorite vase?”

Rose had to tell someone or she might just explode. “I kissed
him,” she whispered.

Kelly’s dark green eyes went wide. “What did you say?”

“She said she kissed him.” The voice came from the doorway
behind them.

Both of them whirled around to see their grandmother
standing there in her usual black dress and stern expression.

Rose wanted to melt with embarrassment. She wouldn’t have
minded for Kelly to know she’d slipped up and kissed James. But she definitely
didn’t want her old-fashioned, interfering grandmother to know.

The old woman walked all the way into the room and sat down
in her favorite Queen Anne chair near the fireplace. “Am I to assume the
gentleman kissed you first?”

Rose wished the floor would open up and swallow her. “I
don’t really want to talk about it.”

“Young lady, you just brought it up with Kelly, so it has
now become appropriate conversation for the family. I assume you didn’t kiss
him against his will.”

With a gasp, Rose replied quickly, “Of course not.”

“Very good.” Her grandmother closed her eyes. “Very good.”

Kelly’s and Rose’s eyes met across the room. “It’s not
really good,” Rose said dryly.

“Of course it is. We can make it work. What is this I hear
about his still being engaged to that most inappropriate woman who came into
our house uninvited last week?”

“He’s not still engaged to her. He broke it off several days
ago. She’s just going around talking as if they’re still together.”

“Hmm.”

“Does she have a few screws lose?” Kelly asked, shaking her
head in confusion.

“I don’t know. I assume she’s trying to make things work in
her favor, but I don’t know what her end goal is.”

“Her end goal must not be realized,” their grandmother
intoned, in that almost prophetic tone that never failed to scare Rose. “Let me
think for several hours. I will develop a plan.”

“I don’t want a plan, Grandmama. Really, I don’t. I just
want to go back to work and forget all of this drama ever happened.”

“You really think you can do that?” Kelly asked.

“I can try.”

The truth was, Rose was absolutely positive that she could
never forget about any of it.

***

Jill texted Rose around lunchtime to
ask if she was coming back to swim that afternoon, and Rose felt too bad for
the little girls to refuse.

It turned out the afternoon wasn’t too painful. They played
games in the pool for a few hours, and then they dried off and went inside. At
five o’clock, the girls were getting hungry, so Rose went to the kitchen to
make some sandwiches.

She was spreading peanut butter when James joined her in the
kitchen. He’d acted naturally and casually all day, not behaving as if anything
was different. Rose marveled that he could put it behind him so easily.

She wished she could.

“Do you need any help?”

Rose shrugged. She didn’t need help, and she’d rather not be
with him alone like this, but she nodded toward the pitcher of lemonade she’d
pulled out of the refrigerator. “You can pour drinks, if you don’t mind.”

James pulled out some cups and started pouring.

“What are the girls doing?” Rose asked, mostly to make
conversation. She felt strange—and like James was discreetly watching her, as
if he wanted to make sure she was all right and wasn’t going to have an
emotional breakdown or something—and she wished for the billionth time she
hadn’t been stupid enough to kiss him yesterday.

“They’ve decided to build a fort with the blankets and
towels and eat their sandwiches underneath it.” There was a smile in his voice.

“Good for them.”

It still felt like James was observing her, and it was
starting to get on her nerves. When she put the last sandwich together, she
turned around and gave him an almost challenging look. “You don’t think I’m
going to faint away in your presence or something, do you?”

He blinked. “Of course not.”

“Then why do you keep looking at me?”

“Why wouldn’t I look at you?”

“You never have before.”

His expression was starting to turn grumpy. “Of course, I
have. Why wouldn’t I look at you?”

“Because I’m your nanny and I was always in the background.
There was no reason for you to look at me before.”

“I’ll have you know I look at my nanny all the time.”

She could tell the words had been an automatic rebuttal that
he hadn’t really thought through. For just a moment, amusement flickered on his
face, as if he’d heard what he just said and found it funny. Rose felt a wave
of laughter too.

Before either of them could actually laugh, though, James’s
phone rang.

He looked at the screen and gave a low groan. “Marta.”

Rose could completely understand why he didn’t want to talk
to her. “So don’t answer it if you don’t want.”

“I better. If I don’t, she’ll just keep calling and get more
and more annoyed.” He stiffened his back, as if he were steeling himself, and
then he connected the call. “Hi, Marta.”

Rose could hear the woman’s voice, even from where she was
standing. She couldn’t hear the words, but she could hear the shrill tone of
it.

Marta must be upset about something.

After a minute, James said, “Wait—wait!”

Marta obviously didn’t wait. The sound of her voice
continued vaguely, increasing in volume although not in clarity.

“Marta, excuse me, but that’s not what happened.” James was
looking tense, almost angry.

Rose suddenly realized what must have occurred. Genevieve
had made up some sort of story and reported it to Marta.

James made a face as he continued to listen. After a minute
he said, “That’s not true at all. I never once cheated on Genevieve. I never
even touched her until after the engagement was broken.”

Rose understood then. Genevieve had told a story about James
cheating on Genevieve with her, with
Rose
. She felt a sick clench in her
gut at the realization.

It was one thing to know she’d been silly the previous day.

It was another to know that everyone around her knew as
well.

James had turned around, showing her only his back. She
assumed he wanted to hide whatever expression was on his face. That meant,
whatever he was feeling right now wasn’t good.

Finally, he must have interrupted her, “Okay, just wait
right there. You haven’t heard the real story, and you must understand that she
has reason to not give you the whole truth. I’m telling you right now that I
never cheated on her, and I’m definitely not resisting my true feelings for
Genevieve. I no longer have any feelings at all for her except extreme
frustration. I don’t want to be with her. I never want to be with her. You’re
going to have to accept that.”

Marta must have broken into his speech because he made a
throaty sound of annoyance.

“No,” he burst out. “No! I’m not going to listen to this.
I’m very sorry if you’re upset, but who I have a relationship with is not your
business at all. If I want to kiss Rosie, then I will—any time I want. If I
want to go out with her, then I will. If I want to marry her, then I will. And
there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Rose felt her heart jump up in her throat at his rough
words. He turned back around, his face slightly damp with sweat and his hand
pushing through his hair.

“That’s all,” he said. “I don’t want to be rude, but I’m not
going to listen to this. We can talk later, when we’re both cooled off some.”

He disconnected the call and set it on the counter with a
groan, glaring at the phone as if the device was to blame.

“This is a damned mess,” he muttered.

Rose wrapped her arms around her stomach in an instinctive
defensive posture. “I’m so sorry.”

His eyes shot up to her. “It’s not your fault. Why would you
think it’s your fault?”

“I don’t think it’s my fault, but I’m involved. I’m just
sorry it’s such a mess.”

He sighed. “Yeah. I’m sorry you’ve gotten wrapped up in it.
I don’t know what to do about Marta and William. I’m sure it’s just their way
of trying to hold onto their daughter—by getting me together with some sort of
substitute that they’ve picked out—but there comes a point when I just have to
shut them down.” He tugged on his hair. “Then I feel guilty for speaking to
them that way.”

“There’s no reason to feel guilty. It has to be done
eventually. You’ve been really good to them—as far as I’ve seen.” Feeling the
need to comfort him, she stepped over and put a hand on his chest. “It sounded
like you did fine. I guess…I guess Genevieve is telling the story that I’m some
kind of gold-digging man-stealer?”