150 Movies You Should See Before You Die (30 page)

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The Crappies

The Worst Script Award goes to …
Jacinto Molina Álvarez for a script that tries to cram every single werewolf legend into a single story.

And the Worst Actor Award goes to …
Paul Naschy for portraying the most laid-back werewolf to ever saunter through the moonlit countryside.

They Really Said It!

Sexy Grad Student
(as she becomes the subject of an evil experiment): This can't be scientific! This can't be scientific!

Betcha Didn't Know

Jacinto Molina Álvarez is the true name of Paul Naschy.

Although it was the fifth movie in which Paul Naschy portrayed werewolf Waldemar Daninsky, it is actually a prequel to the other films, explaining how Waldemar develops his condition.

Trivia Quiz

Which if these actors portrayed a werewolf in the most movies?

A: Lon Chaney Jr.

B: Peter Cushing

C: Paul Naschy

D: Bela Lugosi

Answer: C. Paul Naschy has thirteen werewolf credits to his name. Peter Cushing, on the other hand, never played a werewolf onscreen.

PRODUCER
Sam Katzman

WRITERS
Paul Gangelin and Samuel Newman

DIRECTOR
Fred F. Sears

STARS
Jeff Morrow (
Mitch MacAffee
), Mara Corday (
Sally Caldwell
), Robert Shayne (
General Van Buskirk
), and the goofiest bird puppet you'll ever see.

An electrical engineer who happens to dabble in molecular physics on the side (Morrow) and his mathematician Girl Friday (Corday) work with the United States military to defeat a giant antimatter bird from outer space.

Why It Sucks

The pacing, tone, and quality of acting and the special effects in
The Giant Claw
compare favorably to the present-day cheesy monster movies that appear regularly under the banner of “A Sci-Fi Channel Original” on cable television's “most dangerous night of television.” This movie has the added “benefit” of a giant bird that has come to Earth to nest (!) and, in the process, eat planes, trains, the UN building in New York City, and the odd pair of joyriding teenagers.

Thumbs Down Rating:

The Crappies

The Worst Writing Award goes to …
Paul Gangelin and Samuel Newman for writing sexual harassment with a style that only a scientist in a 1950s sci-fi movie can deliver.

And the Goofiest Monster Award goes to …
The giant, antimatter, indistructable space buzzard that causes a global panic.

They Really Said It!

Mitch
: Keep your shirt on, and I'll go put my pants on.

Betcha Didn't Know

Between 1933 and 1972 Sam Katzman produced and/or directed some 250 features and serials.

Mara Corday started her show-biz career as a chorus girl and model at the age of seventeen. She later turned to acting and has appeared in just about every type of picture genre.

Trivia Quiz

What movie about aliens invading Earth was produced by Sam Katzman?

A:
Invaders from Mars
(1953)

B:
Devil Girl From Mars
(1954)

C:
Earth vs. the Flying Saucers
(1956)

D:
The Last Blitzkrieg
(1959)

Answer: C.
Earth vs. the Flying Saucers.
Katzman also produced
The Last Blitzkrieg
, an over-the-top spy thriller set during World War II.

PRODUCERS
Roger Corman and Martin B. Cohen

WRITERS
Frank Arnold and Martin B. Cohen (story), William Martin (script)

DIRECTOR
Barbara Peeters

STARS
Doug McClure (
Jim Hill
), Ann Turkel (
Dr. Drake
), Vic Morrow (
Hank Slattery
), Cindy Weintraub (Carol Hill), and Lynn Theel (Peggy Larson).

Humanoids evolved from mutant salmon emerge from the ocean to terrorize a small coastal town, killing the men and raping the women. Will they ruin the annual carnival with their urge to head up the road and spawn?

Why It Sucks

One never expects much of an explanation for the “how” and “why” of the green, slimy fishmen who attack the town in a Z-grade monster movie like this, but a little background about how salmon mutated into green, amphibious rapists would have been nice. And then there's the weird scene where a ventriliquist dummy is a bigger turn-on for a hot chick than a big bank account.

Thumbs Down Rating:

The Crappies

The Worst Producer Award goes to …
Roger Corman and Martin B. Cohen for “sexing up” what they felt was a weak movie with boobs and fish-man rape-scenes instead of starting with a script that actually had a little more content and logic to it. Most of the credit belongs to Corman, though.

And the Special Award for the Creepiest Fetish goes to …
The chick who is so turned on by a ventriloquist dummy she strips naked.

They Really Said It!

Dr. Drake
: Look at the size of that cranium. That means they have tremendous brain capacity. Doesn't mean, though, they have the ability to use it.