150 Movies You Should See Before You Die (28 page)

PRODUCERS
Gary Bryman, Joe Drake, Steve Hein, and Nathan Kahane (executive producers), Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert (producers)

WRITERS
Eric Kripke, Juliet Snowden, and Stiles White

DIRECTOR
Stephen Kaye

STARS
Barry Watson (
Tim
), Emily Deschanel (
Kate Houghton
), and Skye McCole Bartusiak (
Franny Roberts
)

A young magazine editor finds himself and his loved ones endangered when a childhood closet-monster comes back to haunt him in adulthood.

Why It Sucks

This attempt at a horror movie might have worked if someone had bothered writing a coherent script. If, for instance, we had an explanation of why the monster attacks … other than “just because.” It's astonishing that Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert could miss the mark by so much, since they were involved in such great horror fests as
Evil Dead II
and
Drag Me to Hell
.

Thumbs Down Rating:

The Crappies

The Worst Script Award goes to …
Erik Kripke, Juliet Snowden, and Stiles White, because between the three of them they couldn't come up with a sensible story.

And the Worst Director Award goes to …
Stephen Kaye for failing to recognize that repeatedly building an atmosphere of dread and then dispelling it without a payoff doesn't make a move scary, it just makes it annoying.

They Really Said It!

Franny
: I wanted to tell you something. Is it true, the boogeyman took your Dad? Are you scared?

Betcha Didn't Know

To date, two direct-to-video “sequels” have been made to this movie. They aren't any better that the original, despite the fact that neither has anything to do with the other or the movie they follow.

Troma Entertainment produced a boogyman-centric horror spoof in 1986 titled
Monster in the Closet
. It is scarier than this.

Trivia Quiz

What series of superhero movies did
Boogeyman
producer Sam Raimi direct three of?

A:
Superman

B:
Darkman

C:
Batman

D:
Spider-Man

Answer: D. Raimi directed the first three Spider-Man movies.

PRODUCERS
Louis M. Heyward (executive producer), Samuel Z. Arkoff and Gordon Hessler (producers)

WRITERS
Tim Kelly (story), Christopher Wicking (script)

DIRECTOR
Gordon Hessler

STARS
Vincent Price (
Lord Edward Whitman
), Hilary Dwyer (
Maureen
Whitman
), Patrick Mower (
Roderick
), and Elisabeth Bergner (
Oona
)

When the ruthless, psychopathic Lord Edward Whitman (Price) orders a coven of witches massacred, the leader (Bergner) escapes and calls forth a banshee that will visit death and destruction upon the entire Whitman line until it exists no more.

Why It Sucks

Cry of the Banshee
is so badly written and the characters so badly drawn that we're rooting for the banshee from the start. Vincent Price is a bloodthirsty upper-class twit in Elizabethan England who gets off on killing buxom peasant wenches suspected of performing pagan rituals in the woods. As his nemesis, Oona (Really?
Oona
? Where do they get these names?), Bergner confuses chewing scenery with acting.

Thumbs Down Rating:

The Crappies

The Special Award for Exceptionalism in the Area of Ignorance goes to …
Everyone involved with the writing, producing, and marketing of this film. If someone had bothered finding out what a banshee is, the film would have been significantly less dumb. (Spoiler: There is no banshee, in the general definition of the word, in this movie.)

And the Worst Director Award goes to …
Gordon Hessler for not noticing that his movie has
no
likeable characters in it. Or banshees.

They Really Said It!

Lady Patricia
: Don't you know this house is cursed? You are cursed, and Edward's cursed, and everybody's cursed.

Betcha Didn't Know

The opening title sequence was created by Terry Gilliam of
Monty Python's Flying Circus
and
Time Bandits
fame. It's better than
Cry of the Banshee
deserves.

It wasn't until the 1950s that Vincent Price became firmly associated with horror films. Although he had starred in
The Invisible Man Returns
in 1940, he was still thought of primarily as a serious dramatic actor.

Trivia Quiz

In what other movie did Vincent Price play a bloodthirsty witch hunter?

A:
The Conqueror Worm
(1968)

B:
Masque of the Red Death
(1964)

C:
War-Gods of the Deep
(1965)

D:
The Bat
(1959)

Answer: A.
The Conqueror Worm
. In this 1968 horror movie (also known as
Witch finder General
), Price plays Matthew Hopkins, a real-world witch hunter who brutally killed as many as 400 “witches.”