150 Movies You Should See Before You Die (32 page)

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Authors: Steve Miller

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Trivia Quiz

What is Justin Long best known for?

A: Marrying Demi Moore, a woman more than twice his age.

B: Playing “Mac” on television commercials that pit Macintosh computers against computers using Microsoft Windows software.

C: Being a regular on the SyFy Channel's
Ghosthunters
series.

D: Moving to Malaysia in protest over Barack Obama's election as president of the United States.

Answer: B. From 2006 to the present, Long has portrayed “Mac” opposite John Hodgeman's “PC.”

KUNG FU ZOMBIE
The Eternal Film Company/Transmedia, 1982

PRODUCER
Ming Pal

WRITER
Yi-Jung Hua

DIRECTOR
Yi-Jung Hua

STARS
Billy Chong (
Pang
) and Lau Chan (
the Magician
)

When the ghost of a small-town thug bullies a third-rate priest/ magician (Lau) into binding him to a recently dead corpse so he can take revenge on the young martial artist who accidentally caused his demise (Chong), everything that can go wrong, does go wrong.

Why It Sucks

Kung Fu Zombie
has moments of inspired and hilarious weirdness that defy description. Unfortunately, the fight scenes are mediocre, and the film is cluttered up with un-scary hopping vampires. (Yes, I said hopping!) It's sad, really, because this could have been a fun flick if just a little more effort had gone into staging and choreography.

Thumbs Down Rating:

The Crappies

The Worst Acting Award goes to …
The entire cast of voice actors who dubbed the American version. They sound as if they swallowed hot potatoes.

And the Worst Writing Award goes to …
Yi-Jung Hua for writing a “hero” who we hope throughout the movie will die horribly at the hands of the villains.

They Really Said It!

Pang
: Go to hell, old man.

Betcha Didn't Know

The zombies in this film are what are commonly referred to as “Chinese Hopping Vampires,” the most commonly used undead in Chinese popular fiction and culture.

Billy Chong's real name is Willy Dozan, and he hails from Indonesia.

Trivia Quiz

According to folklore, what's the most effective way to make your home hopping-vampire proof?

A: Have it blessed by Taoist priests

B: Have hinged doors that open outward and from right to left, as it will confuse the undead

C: Put a threshold in external doorways that's at least six inches tall

D: Use paint containing the ashes of a cremated Taoist priest on the door frames

Answer: C. Put a threshold in external doorways that's at least six inches tall, as the hopping vampires can't jump higher than that. Most traditional Taoist temples are equipped with such thresholds.

THE MANSTER (AKA
“THE SPLIT”
)
United Artists/Lopert Pictures, 1959

PRODUCERS
William Shelton (executive producer) and George Breakston (producer)

WRITERS
Walt Sheldon (story), George Breakston (script)

DIRECTORS
George Breakston and Kenneth Crane

STARS
Peter Dyneley (
Larry Stanford
), Satoshi Nakamura (
Dr. Robert
Suzuki
), Terri Zimmern (
Tara
), Norman Van Hawley (
Ian Matthews
), Jane Hylton (
Linda Stanford
), and Jerry Ito (
Police Superintendant Aida
)

Larry (Dyneley), an American journalist working in Japan, travels to interview a reclusive scientist (Nakamura) about his strange experiments. But soon, the usually mild-mannered reporter is partying all night with Japanese hookers, going on killing sprees, and growing a second head.

Why It Sucks

It starts with a classic theme: Jekyll and Hyde — a man's hidden desires and passions coming to the surface. And then … he starts to grow a second head. And ultimately splits into two separate beings, who, through the wonders of mad science, are both fully clothed immediately after the transformation! The
Manster
is a monster movie that's so jaw-droppingly stupid that it transcends its own badness. It all culminates in a fiery climax atop a volcano ….

Thumbs Down Rating:

The Crappies

The Worst Acting Award goes to …
The entire cast. You can actually see them looking off camera for their cue cards.

And the Worst Picture Award goes to …
George Breakston. Even by low-budget standards of the 1950s, this two-headed man looks cheesy.

They Really Said It!

Ian
: Do you realize that your behavior lately has had every aspect of a man flipping his lid?

Larry
: What are you trying to say, Ian?!

Betcha Didn't Know

Star Peter Dyneley was a British actor who was best known for his stage work, but he appeared in a number of crime dramas and sci-fi films over the course of his career.

Kenneth Crane is sometimes mistakenly credited with directing one of Edward D. Wood's final science fiction films —
The
Double Garden
(aka
Venus Flytrap
) in 1970
.
He did, however, not direct such a movie. Crane spent most of his career as an editor, and directed only four low-budget horror films during 1958–1959, the most notable being this one and
The Monster
from Green Hell
.

Trivia Quiz

What famous horror comedy has a sequence that was clearly inspired by this film?

A:
The Evil Dead
(1981)

B:
The Grudge
(2004)

C:
The Boogey Man
(1980)

D:
Army of Darkness
(1992)

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