150 Movies You Should See Before You Die (14 page)

Director Stuart Gordon had a great deal of experience directing plays, but this was his first movie.

Trivia Quiz

What was Herbert West's fate in the original H. P. Lovecraft
story?

A: He was reanimated by his own serum

B: He became governor of Massachusetts

C: He was eaten by Cthulhu

D: He was dismembered and carried off by subjects of his experiments

Answer: D. In a fate that was foreshadowed in the first paragraph of the tale, West was dragged into the darkness by vengeful reanimated corpses.

PRODUCERS
Gary Barber, Roger Birnbaum, Trish Hoffman, and Ben Stiller (executive producer), Chris Bender, Stuart Cornfeld, and Jeremy Kramer (producers)

WRITER
Scott B. Smith

DIRECTOR
Carter Smith

STARS
Jonathan Tucker (
Jeff
), Jena Malone (
Amy
), Laura Ramsey (
Stacy
), Shawn Ashmore (
Eric
), Joe Anderson (
Mathias
), Dimitri Baveas (
Dimitri
), and Sergio Calderón (
Lead Mayan
)

A group of college-aged tourists (Anderson, Ashmore, Malone, Ramsey, and Tucker) are trapped atop an unmapped Mayan ruin by angry natives. They soon discover that what lives in the ruin is far more horrific than the murderous jungle dwellers.

Why It Sucks

The Ruins
manages to be a suspense film with no suspense, a paint-by-the-numbers horror film. At the same time it dips its fingers into the “torture porn” subgenre for no good reason other than the director seems to have been bored. The only surprise comes from the nature of the monster dwelling in the ruined structure — hardly worth wading through the film for.

Thumbs Down Rating:

The Crappies

The Worst Actor Award goes to …
Joe Anderson for Mathias, a character who starts as vaguely sinister (for no reason) and finishes as hapless and slightly stupid.

And the Worst Picture Award goes to …
The gaggle of producers behind this picture for making it absolutely, 100 percent predictable from beginning to end.

They Really Said It!

Jeff
: Four Americans on vacation don't just disappear! Betcha Didn't Know

Only one character is actually killed by the monster in the film.

Comedian Ben Stiller became involved with this film because he is a good friend of screenwriter/novelist Scott B. Smith.

Trivia Quiz

Although set in Mexico, what country and area was the film actually shot in?

A: United States, Florida

B: Spain, Catalonia

C: France, East Pyrenees

D: Australia, Queensland

Answer: D. Australia, Queensland. The interiors of the “ruins” were sets built at Warner Brothers' Movieworld, also in Queensland.

PRODUCER
Uncredited

WRITERS
Kôji Takada and Motohiro Torii

DIRECTOR
Shigehiro Ozawa

STARS
Sonny Chiba (
Terry Tsurugi
), Goichi Yamada (
Rakuda Zhang
), Yutaka Nakajima (
Sarai Hammett
), Akira Shion (
Liang Dong-Yi
), and Tony Cetera (
Abdul Jadot
)

When an antisocial martial-artist-for-hire (Chiba) turns down a yakuza contract to kidnap the heiress of an oil-based financial empire (Nakajima), he discovers they'd rather kill him than risk him revealing their plans.

Why It Sucks

Story? What story?
The Street Fighter
is plot-light and violence-heavy, with just enough explantion to move us from one extreme act of violence to another. Of course, the scene where Chiba rips off the nuts of a would-be rapist redeems the movie to a large degree.

The Crappies

The Worst Writing Award goes to …
Kôji Takada and Motohiro Torii for a story so thin it's likely to give viewers papercuts.

And the Worst Acting Award goes to …
Sonny Chiba for the out-rageous faces he makes during fight scenes. Only the Master of Funny Face Fu, Bruce Lee himself, could look more ridiculous while kicking ass.

They Really Said It!

Terry Tsurugi
: Tell that bitch who sent you how sorry I am I can no longer be her friend.

Betcha Didn't Know

This is the first movie to be rated X by the MPAA based on violence alone. When New Line released a home video version, the studio edited the gory martial arts scenes heavily to get an R rating.

Sonny Chiba started a martial arts organization geared toward teaching

Trivia Quiz

How many minutes of film were cut to earn
The Street Fighter's
R rating?

A: 4 minutes

B: 8 minutes

C: 16 minutes

D: 32 minutes

Answer: C. 16 minutes. The most widely available DVD versions of the film run 91 minutes.

PRODUCERS
Salvatore Argento (executive producer) and Claudio Argento (producer)

WRITERS
Dario Argento and Daria Nicolodi

DIRECTOR
Dario Argento