44 (5 page)

“I’m thinking about just skiing to work,” said
Colin, a reporter. “I’m so sick of shoveling my driveway every
morning.”

“Oh, this snow is nothing. You guys are spoiled,
right Nathaniel?” Dr. Mortimer said.

“Oh, yeah. I forgot we had some East Coasters at the
table,” Tony said.

“So, Nathaniel, how long are you here for?” Kate
asked.

“I have to leave on Sunday unfortunately,” he said.
“But I get back to Bend occasionally. The company I work for has
St. Charles as one of its clients.”

“Nathaniel is working on a cancer research project
and a lot of hospitals around the country are interested in his
results,” Dr. Mortimer said, smiling. It was easy to see that he
was really proud of his younger brother. They seemed like pretty
good friends, too.

The conversation turned toward the football game as
the Patriots scored a touchdown and Tony started cheering like a
madman, his face growing darker and darker. He had put money down
on the game, he said, after he noticed everybody was staring at
him.

“Okay, the pies are all sliced up on the table. We
have four different kinds. Please help yourselves,” Kate
announced.

Everybody wandered over to the kitchen. Kate put
Nora Jones on and the newsroom group started chatting about the
District Attorney who had fired five of his attorneys because he
didn’t like them. The night had been festive and fun and it was
good to see Kate so happy. As the hours and pies disappeared,
people started putting on their coats and leaving.

“Dinner was fantastic!” Erin said as she hugged us
both in front of the door. “Thanks a bunch. And see you in a few
hours!”

We were going shopping in the morning. For the past
four years, Erin, Kate, and I woke up before dawn on Black Friday
and went shopping at all those crazy sales. This year I didn’t
really want to go. I hated running into people I knew out in
public, and Bend was a small enough town where that happened a lot.
But I was looking forward to spending time with Erin and I liked
doing traditional stuff. It made me feel rooted.

“Yeah, can’t wait,” I said, my face lost in her
hair.

“Thank you for such an amazing dinner. This was one
of the best evenings I’ve had in a very long time,” Nathaniel said,
giving me a hug. I was glad he was more comfortable with us
now.

Dr. Mortimer talked a moment with Kate as everyone
said goodbye. It could have been my imagination, but I thought I
saw Matt watching them. I also noticed a white light around Kate as
she spoke, which made me wonder if her feelings were changing for
the doctor. Maybe Matt had picked up on that somehow, because for a
second, he didn’t seem too happy.

When everybody had left, Kate and I headed to the
kitchen to help Matt, who was already busy with the cleanup.

CHAPTER 10

That night I couldn’t sleep. I watched the snow fall
gently out the window. Kate had been in bed for an hour and Jesse
wasn’t picking up. But then I heard Kate stumbling around. She was
one of those types who didn’t need too much sleep. I was happy that
she was up.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hey,” I said, wiping tears off my face.

“What’s wrong?” she asked. Her slippers swished
across the floor. “I could make tea.”

Kate’s solution to everything was Earl Grey.

“No, I’m good, thanks,” I said. She sat down next to
me and we both watched the snow.

“Missing Mom,” I said. Kate reached over and hugged
me.

“Me too.”

We were quiet for a while.

“It was a fun night though,” I said.

“Yeah, it was, wasn’t it? It was great to see
everybody. It seemed like they all got along really well.”

I yawned.

“We better get to bed,” she said. “We have exactly
two hours before Erin will be knocking on the door.”

CHAPTER 11

Jesse came back home on Sunday. I picked him up and
we headed over to Drake Park. It was cold, but the snow had stopped
and there were no clouds in the bright sky. It must have been blue.
That was one thing I really missed: seeing those beautiful blue
skies in Bend. Every time I looked up and saw a white sky my heart
sank a little. Bend’s sky was the best.

As we walked along the river, I clapped my hands for
warmth. Thick snow hugged the banks, but on the little footpath it
wasn’t too deep. The river was frozen in some parts, but mostly the
calm water was flowing.

I was excited that Jesse had called.

“So how was Thanksgiving?” he asked. He had brought
two slices of bread and handed one to me so that we could feed the
ducks and geese. Bend had recently declared war on the waterfowl.
In fact, just before Thanksgiving the city had slaughtered 50
Canadian geese and gave them away to poor families. It was a
strange action for the city, but according to the politicians,
there were too many birds and they were ruining the parks with
their excrement.

It was weird seeing the ducks. I always used to love
those green shiny parts, but now I only saw grays. I wondered if I
even remembered what green looked like.

I threw a chunk of bread in the water. Two ducks
were on top of it within a second.

“Yeah, it was fun,” I said. “Wish you could have
been there.”

“Me too,” he said. He threw a piece high into the
air and we watched it splash into the river.

“How’s your mom doing?” I asked.

Jesse looked at me.

“Fine, I guess,” he said. “I don’t know. We don’t
really talk much. She’s had a tough year. I thought going would
help, but I don’t think it did.”

We walked a little more. I was grateful that we
seemed to be back to our goofy relationship, Jesse high fiving me
in the air knowing I couldn’t reach his hand, kicking each other
and running, and talking about the football playoffs.

I decided to tell him about my dream and the photo
of the man that Kate had shown me.

“It was some sort of vision or something,” I said.
“Jesse, it was the same guy. I saw him die. Right in front of
me.”

“A vision?” he said, picking up pinecones and
hurling them at me.

“Yeah, I guess that’s what it was,” I said.

Jesse was quiet.

“You’re not saying anything,” I said finally,
feeling self-conscious by his lack of response. Geez, was
everything off limits these days?

“Look, Craigers, first off, you shouldn’t be calling
them visions,” he said. “That just sounds kind of crazy. Call it a
dream instead or something.”

I sighed.

“But it wasn’t a dream. You saying that makes me
think you’re not taking me seriously.”

“Come on, I’m just looking after you. People will
get the wrong impression if you go around town talking about
visions, that’s all. And you already have enough of those freaks
you have to deal with.”

“I don’t go around talking about visions to anyone.
Just to you.”

He picked up a rock and skipped it across the
Deschutes. Four skips. Not bad, but I threw one and got six.

“Let’s go again,” he said.

We did it a few more times.

“So, what exactly did you see in your dream?” he
asked.

“I saw someone, an old man. He had this huge tattoo
on his neck. When I told Kate, she told me that it was the old guy
who she went to investigate. The one they found in the river up by
Old Mill.”

Jesse lifted his eyebrows.

“So you just saw some old guy in your dream?”

“It wasn’t just an old guy, Jesse. It was the same
old guy who died in the river. And I don’t think it was an
accident. I think someone killed him. I know it sounds nuts,” I
said.

“That does sound nuts,” Jesse said. “I thought Kate
wrote an article about how it was an accident or something. How
does it turn into a murder?”

“It’s a feeling I have,” I said. “A strong feeling.
I’ve never seen anything like this before. I know what dreams are
and this was not a dream.”

Jesse looked around.

“Look, do you want my honest opinion?”

I didn’t really, but nodded anyway.

“I think you shouldn’t think too much about any of
that, Craigers. You just don’t need this now, that’s all I’m
saying. You need to keep getting better and focus on school and
your life. Things that matter. Leave all this alone, it doesn’t
involve you.”

His voice was strange and I was a little surprised
by his attitude. Jesse loved mysteries. I was fully expecting him
to help me solve it.

“And one more thing,” he said, serious again but
throwing pinecones straight up into the air and watching them fall
back down. I threw one up that went half as high as his.

He walked over to me and stood close. I stared up
into his face, looked at his lips. I wanted him to kiss me, and I
knew he wanted to. Maybe he had changed his mind while he was gone,
had a chance to think about us. With one passionate kiss, the kind
of kiss I knew we both wanted, that terrible memory could be erased
forever.

But he leaned in toward my ear and whispered
instead.

“Don’t mention this to your shrink. Nothing good
will come from it, I guarantee.”

Then he picked me up and started spinning me around.
I couldn’t help but laugh.

CHAPTER 12

As I sat on the bench with all the subs, kicking at
the grass, I thought about what Dr. Krowe had said about quitting
the team. There was nothing quite like going from starting forward
to being on the bench as a sub. It felt awful. He had been right. I
should have quit.

The rain of the last few days had melted a lot of
snow and the field was a dark shade of gray, soggy and full of
holes. I hadn’t been out on it and I was sure that unless five
starters suddenly got taken down, I would be sitting for the rest
of the game.

The season had ended with the team only winning
twice. For the first time in years, we didn’t make the playoffs.
Coach organized some extra games because he wanted to give the
seniors some more time on the field.

Amanda was in goal, doing a decent job. The Summit
forwards were putting on a lot of pressure, but shot after shot,
Amanda stopped them.

Our team ended up winning. It was a brief moment,
but for a little while I felt that same great feeling pulsate
through me, the way I used to feel after a game. The girls hugging,
the crowd cheering, the coach giving his happy-after-the-win
speech. It felt good.

I walked to the Jeep and drove home. My body was
aching from the cold and I was looking forward to a hot shower and
dinner.

Kate didn’t get home until late. I had a pile of
books opened on the table and had almost finished my homework when
she walked through the door.

“Hey, Abby,” she said. She was carrying a stack of
files and put them on the table.

“Hey,” I said. “Looks like your day isn’t over
yet.”

“Yeah,” she said.

After we talked a bit, I headed to bed. I thought
about Jesse. The boy was the most stubborn human being on the
planet. I couldn’t figure out if I had to let things be or try to
push him. Eventually, I drifted off to sleep.

And again, I fell into the dark, icy water and into
another vision.

Bubbles flew up around me. A light filtered through
the gray above as I was being pulled down into the murky black. I
screamed, trying to swim to the top, but I kept on sinking.

But something was new. I was able to step out of the
water for the first time. I could breathe!

Everything was hazy and I didn’t know where I was.
It smelled like lilacs as steam surrounded me, warm against my cold
skin. My heart pounded in my chest.

Then I saw her. At first, just her face. A woman, a
little older than Kate, with long dark hair. She didn’t see me,
even though I was in front of her. She was in a bathtub, the water
full of bubbles. Suddenly she sat up, startled, frightened, like
she knew I was there. But it wasn’t me she saw. It was a dark
figure, a man, with his back to me. Terror filled her eyes.

She screamed as he grabbed her ankles and lifted her
up, forcing her head under the water. Waves rolled out of the tub,
soaking the floor as she struggled. It seemed to last forever.

I just stood there, paralyzed in fear. I didn’t
scream, I didn’t do anything.

Then it was quiet.

Her head floated back up to the top, eyes open and
lifeless. He stood over her before bending down and whispering
something.

I started shivering, backed away before suddenly
being thrown back in the lake again, swimming above them, away from
the horrible scene. I swam upward, toward the light at the surface,
needing to inhale the air from above. But I didn’t make it.

I had to breathe in the black water. Again.

I woke up shaking.

Kate was still working in the living room. When she
saw me stagger out, she rushed up with a blanket and led me to the
sofa. We sat. I told her everything.

“How’s your head?” she asked, worried.

“Okay, I think,” I said. I felt weak and
destroyed.

I drank some tea, tried to calm down as I told Kate
everything. Cautiously, she asked some questions.

“So she’s Asian, you’re sure?”

“Yeah,” I said. “She was in the bathtub when he
pulled her feet up and drowned her. I saw it happen, Kate! I was
right there!”

I took a few deep breaths. Tears pooled in my eyes.
She stood up and paced around the living room.

“Do you have any idea where this happened? Did you
see anything else like an address or a house or apartment?”

I tried to remember.

“No,” I said. “But he’s tall. And strong. But not
muscular.”

I shuddered at the thought of those hands wrapped
around her ankles, the pounding of her fists on the ceramic.

“These really aren’t dreams, are they?” she
asked.

“No,” I said.

Kate got me a tissue and I blew my nose.