500 Days (59 page)

He leaned on the door frame, arms and legs
crossed. “Nah man.”

“
You wouldn’t happen to
know where she’s at.”

“
School, I think,” he
shrugged.

I eyed him for a moment. “What are you doing
here?”

“
Jasper asked me to go to
the store and I got hungry. Alex’s place was on the way.” I raised
a brow. He just shrugged again.

“
If you see her, can you
please tell her I’m looking for her and to give me a
call?”

“
Sure thing. Is everything
okay?”

“
I hope so,” I said,
turning to leave. I thought maybe I would try the mall. Maybe she
was getting a new phone. When I had no luck there I called Declan –
nothing. Frustrated, I went back to Alex’s and decided to wait
until she returned. She had to come home eventually.

I waited so long I actually fell asleep. I
woke up to a rapping on my window. Startled, I slipped. The hand
that was cradling my head fell, causing me to crack my head against
the window. I grunted under my breath. I rubbed my eyes and
discovered a very angry Alex glaring through the window. I jumped
out of the car, wanting so badly to hold her in my arms, but she
pulled away. “Alex, I’ve been looking for you all day.”

“
What are you doing here,
Casper?”

“
What do you mean what am
I doing here? I was worried about you, Alex.”

“
We broke up Casper.
Worrying about me is no longer your problem.”

“
Alex, we had a fight, but
we didn’t break up.”

She crossed her arms, staring at me with her
dark green eyes. “So I should add delusional along with stalker to
the list of reasons.” I scrunched my brow in confusion. “Read my
lips Casper. We. Broke. Up. It’s over.”

“
No, I won’t accept that.
You’re not going to break up with me
over
something stupid. Just because you couldn’t get your
way.”

“
Well accept it. I’m tired
of you dragging me down. You’re the one who’s
poison, Casper. Now get off my property before I call the
cops.”

I grabbed her arms pulling her close to my
chest before she could walk away. She struggled against me. I
smashed my lips into hers hoping to convince her of the mistake she
was making. For a second I thought I had her. I could feel it. The
way her body molded with mine. The way her lips moved in connection
with my own. But it wasn’t enough. She was stronger and broke away.
She smacked me…again, but I barely flinched. Then, thrusting her
hands out, she shoved, hard on my chest. “I hate you!” she cried.
“Leave. Now. I mean it Casper. It’s. Over.”

“
No.”

“
You don’t get a choice
here.”

“
Like hell I don’t.” A car
pulled up behind me, blinding me with its light. I made the mistake
of turning to see who it was. Alex took off for the door. “Alex!” I
started after her.

“
Casper, don’t,” Colton
yelled, getting out of the car. I ignored him and went after Alex.
He caught me by the back of my jacket. I wrestled my way out of it.
Alex was at the top of the stairs. She looked over her shoulder
when she heard the door and took off.

“
Alex, wait!” I pounded
and kicked on the door. “Alex!” I cried.

“
Casper,” Colton warned. I
glared at him over my shoulder and returned to pleading with Alex
to open the door. I felt a hand on my shoulder and flipped,
knocking Colton back. Colton attacked, shoving me up against the
wall. “Enough!” he yelled. “You need to calm down. Now go home.” I
went to argue, but he slammed my back into the wall again. “Don’t
piss me off. Cool your shit and go home. Don’t make me tell you
again.” I shook him off and took a step away. Declan was standing
in the hallway with my jacket. The look on her face was part fear
and part sadness. I took the jacket and walked out.

The next few days were torture. I gave Alex
her space. I allowed her time to realize what she was doing was a
mistake. I ate lunch off campus so she wouldn’t feel trapped. I
avoided the bar and made sure I arrived at the last minute for the
class we shared, sitting in the back, but most of the time I spent
the entire hour watching Alex. I knew she could feel me staring at
her. Her head would tilt to the side and her eyes would glance over
her shoulder. Every time she caught me she would narrow her eyes
and turn back to the front, shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

Not being able to take it anymore. I decided
I was not going to let her walk away from me again. I started
packing up my things before class was even over. I made a mad dash
in her direction, zigzagging through people, almost knocking a few
over. I managed to catch up to her outside, jumping in front of
her. “Jesus.” She clenched her fist over her chest. “You scared
me.”

“
Sorry. Can we
talk?”

Her eyes instantly narrowed. “We have
nothing to talk about.” I blocked her path. She let out an
exasperated sigh. “Move Casper, I don’t have time for this. You’re
going to make me late.”

“
Late for lunch?” I asked,
raising a brow.

“
No,” she snapped, caught
off guard. She knew I knew her schedule so she couldn’t lie her way
out of this
,
but
obviously she thought she’d try. “I’m…meeting someone,” she
stuttered.

“
You’re meeting someone?
Who?”

“
That’s none of your
business.”

She tried to sidestep me, but I got in her
way. “Like hell it isn’t,” I crossed my arms over my chest showing
I meant business.

“
No, it’s not. We’re not
together anymore. So what I do from now on has nothing to do with
you. You need to get that through your thick head,
Casper.”

“
I understand if you need
more time.”

“
You just don’t get it, do
you? I don’t need time to cool down, or think it over. This is it.
The end. I’m done. There is no more you and me.”

“
Alex, please don’t say
that.”

“
Excuse me, I’m going to
be late.” She just left. Left me standing there with my chest
ripped open and my heart bleeding.

I didn’t panic. Not right away. When I got
home I went straight to my room, but all it did was remind me of
Alex. I stared at the bed where we spent countless nights and the
pictures on the wall of our time together. I tore off the comforter
and sheets then I went for the pictures, smashing every frame into
a million pieces. I ripped my room apart top to bottom, smashing
anything in my path. She told me she was meeting someone. She moved
on already. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t wrap my head around
it. How could she do this to me? Colton and Greyson rushed into the
room to see what all the noise was about.

“
Dude, what the fuck?”
Greyson said, eyeing the destroyed room. “Did you lose something?”
I tried to take a breath but it hurt so badly. I thought my chest
was going to explode. I felt my knees buckle. My muscles could no
longer hold me up and I fell, hard, to my knees. I buried my face
in my heads and cried.

“
Cas?” Colton said
softly.

“
It’s over. She wants
nothing to do with me.” I never cried so much in my life. I never
cried that it hurt the more I cried. I whaled like a baby. It was
like an ocean of tears that wouldn’t stop.

I passed out sometime
around one, whether it was exhaustion or just pure numbness, I
didn’t know. Greyson suggested an all-night bender
to get my mind off of everything, but I said no.
I just wanted to be alone and I never felt so alone in my
life.

When I woke up there was a pain in my chest
that weighed heavily on my heart. I rubbed my hand over the heart
tattoo, thinking it would ease the pain, but it just made it worse.
My eyes roamed the disaster that was my room. The last thing I
wanted to do was clean up this mess but I couldn’t leave it like
this. There was glass everywhere, splintered wood from the closet
door I broke, again, shredded pieces of Alex’s clothes that she
left behind. All a constant reminder of what I no longer had.
Colton knocked lightly on the door before poking his head. “Hey,
you’re awake.”

“
Yeah,” I said, scratching
the back of my head.

He was holding a broom, dustpan, and some
trash bags. “I thought I’d help you clean up this mess.”

“
Thanks man.” He threw me
the roll of trash bags. What clothes of Alex’s that survived the
attack, I placed neatly on the bed. Then I started to collect all
the broken glass. “Ugh, may I make a suggestion?” Colton asked,
standing in front of the closet. I looked up. “Maybe you should
just not have a closet door. Might save you from having to replace
it all the time.” He placed the larger pieces against the wall and
carried the small ones out to the dumpster while I picked up
everything off the floor. It only took us about an hour to clean
everything up. I looked at the pile of clothes on the
bed.

“
I can give them to
Declan.”

“
Yeah…I think, I think I
need to get out of here for a while.”

“
Where ever you want to
go. Just let me know.”

“
No, I mean away. And I
need to go on my own.”

“
Cas,” he said with a
little concern in his voice.

“
I’ll be fine. I promise.”
I grabbed my jacket and keys and took off.

Chapter 24

Alexis

“
Here, Colton dropped
these off,” Declan said, laying a pile of clothes on my
bed.

“
What are those?” I asked
a little confused.

She looked almost like she didn’t want to
tell me. “Clothes you left at Casper’s.”

I sucked in a breath. On top was also a pile
of pictures. “He returned my stuff?” Declan said nothing. She just
stood there looking nervously, like I might snap at any second. I
picked up the pile of clothes and threw them in the hamper. Then I
took the pictures and threw them in the trash can without even
looking at them.

“
Alex, maybe you should
talk to him.”

“
There’s nothing left to
say, Declan.” She nodded and left my room. I crawled back into bed
and pulled the covers up tight until I had to work.

For the next week I threw myself into work
and school to keep my mind at ease. I hadn’t seen Casper at all and
surprisingly that felt worse than seeing him. I lied when I told
him I was meeting someone. I knew he wouldn’t leave me alone so I
thought if I put it in his head the prospect of me seeing someone,
he would get the hint and leave me alone. Unfortunately it worked a
little too well. I never wanted him to disappear, but I also didn’t
want to see him. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what I wanted. It was
inevitable. I knew from the start it would be only a matter of time
before Casper and I broke up. I took a chance and got burned. I was
just glad I never fully opened my heart to him or this might be a
totally different story.

I busted my butt all week
studying for finals. With my nose in a book I had no time to worry
about where Casper was or what or should I say
who
he was doing. The only thing
that kept me going was knowing that Jack was gonna call within the
next week or so and we all as a family were going to visit mom. I
wished I could tell her what I found out about the case, but I no
longer had the files and without those I was afraid I was at a
loss. I never bothered to replace my phone. I knew if anyone needed
to get a hold of me they knew where to find me. I also didn’t want
to risk any calls from Casper.

After our first final, Declan and I headed
to one of the diners downtown to grab brunch. “How you think you
did?” she asked, pouring about a pound of sugar into her
coffee.

“
Nailed it.
You?”

She shrugged. “I wish I had the same
confidence you did.”

“
I’m sure you did fine.” I
felt a strange flutter in my stomach. The door chimed as more
people entered. I looked over my shoulder. My stomach dropped to
the floor. His stormy eyes met mine with a half-hearted smile. I
looked away and glared at Declan. “Did you know he was going to be
here?”

She looked up from her coffee mug and her
smile fell. “No, I didn’t.” Colton walked over to the table and
gave Declan a kiss on the cheek while she slid over to give him
room. Casper stood anxiously by the end of the table. He smiled,
but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“
Hey,” he said. I ignored
him. “I’m gonna grab a table,” he said to Colton. His eyes shifted
to mine one more time before he walked away. I let out the breath I
didn’t even know I was holding.

“
Sorry Alex. He told me he
was going to be good,” Colton said, fidgeting in his
seat.

“
It’s fine. We’re gonna
run into each from time to time, so…,” I shrugged, trying for
nonchalant. But really all I wanted was for him to touch me. Caress
my skin the way he did that made me feel loved. Or hold me in his
arms and make me feel safe. My body always reacted instantly when
he was around and I hated myself for that.
Traitorous body.

After plans were made, Colton joined Casper
at their table. I didn’t dare spare him a glance. I only finished
half my food. Knowing Casper was so close was doing crazy things to
my brain and body and I no longer felt comfortable in his presence.
“Are you okay?” Declan asked concerned.