56 Days (Black) (15 page)

We made love twice that afternoon
.  It was perfect.  Touching, kissing, taking our time studying each movement the other made.

Just six more weeks until
Lana’s baby came.  I wasn’t a religious person, but I prayed daily that we would dodge that bullet. 
Please, please, please, God… I just found him.

Jack hadn’t told anyone about it
with the exception of his parents and Vince.  He was convinced that it wasn’t his based on the math.  I had this empty feeling in the pit of my stomach… it was. 

Now
, we waited.

On Thursday, just as I was putting the final touches on my last batch of chocolate cupcakes, I received a delivery at the store.  I assumed it was from Jack… flowers or something.

It was a padded manila envelope.  I shook it.  “Gem, who dropped this off?”

“I don’t know.  Some courier guy.  I didn’t even look at him, really.”

I took it to the back room and ripped the cord.  It contained a disc.  I had watched enough television to know that whenever anyone received an unmarked disc, nothing good came out of that.  I shoved it in my huge bag, thankful that my day was closing.

I called Jack.  “Hey, can you meet me at home?”

“Like now?”

“Yeah, like now.  I’m leaving in a few minutes.”

“On my way.”

My hands were shaking and I wasn’t even sure why.  I had no idea what was on that thing.  I just grabbed my keys and yelled to Gemma that I was leaving.  She waved and murmured something as I shut the door.

*****

I waited at the house for a good fifteen minutes before Jack finally arrived.  He came through the front door, immediately coming to my side.  “What’s going on?”

I pulled the disc out of my bag.  “I got this today at the shop.  Any ideas?”

He took it and looked it over.  “No, why?”

I put it in my laptop and we sat next to each other on the couch.  Buster laid his head on Jack’s lap.

It was
filmed like some sort of art noir project.  There was a piece of music edited in that I knew well.  It was The Cure’s “Siamese Twins.”  It started off with a close-up of my door.  I came out of it a minute later, pulling Buster on a leash.  Then the camera zoomed in on him.  The hair on the back of my neck stood on end.

Flesh and blood and the first kiss.  The first colors, the first kiss.

The camera followed us in choppy sections, all the way to the park.  I sat on a bench, eating pistachios out of my pocket.  The lens closed in on my mouth… chewing, smiling, talking to Buster.  The next shot was of Jack.  He was at his storefront, measuring a table.  He was laughing at something Heather said.

Then everything falls apart.  Broken inside me, it falls apart.

The next shot was of him walking from his house to the studio; he was making a phone call.  He had a look of frustration on his face, like he was arguing with someone.

“Who
were you talking to?” I asked, my eyes glued on the scene.

Jack stared at the screen.  “
That was taken yesterday.  Look at what I’m wearing.  It was the guy who supplies my stain.  It was the wrong color…” he replied, his voice trailing off.

The
scene changed to one of both me and Jack, walking to the bakery.  In the clip, Jack and I were wearing our current clothes.  It was dark out, but the camera zoomed in on us holding hands… kissing outside of the doors.  I blew him a kiss as the shot faded.

Push a blade into my hands.  Slowly up the stairs and into the room.  Is it always like this?

The camera changed.  This time, I was blowing him another kiss, but the scene was from my living room last week.  He was walking away from me, naked, into the kitchen.  A shiver ran up my spine.  The camera was grainy now.  Was it taken through the screen?

I scream, you’re nothing.  And I don’t need you anymore, you’re nothing.

Jack looked over to me.  “What is this, El?”

I started to cry.  “He’s threatening us.  He knows where we’re going… where we’ve been.”

He rubbed my back as the song started to come to an end; the final shot was filmed through our bedroom window.  I was on top of Jack.  We were making love.  His hands rested on my hips, but that was all that you could see of him.  The whole scene was
all me
.  Me… mouth open, my neck craning back… when I leaned over, the camera caught my right breast.  Jack’s mouth was wrapped around it.

Laughing into the fire.  Is it always like this?  Is it always like this?

I felt a wave of nausea hit as the video faded out.  That was it.  It was just a six-minute montage of our life together… being watched by someone else.  Being watched by
him
.

No way to prove it.  It was a scare tactic… and a good one.  I just sat there, crying.  “What are we going to do with this?”

“Take it to the police.”

“Jack, it literally looks like we could have made this.  It’s shot like a fucking love letter.  There’s nothing incriminating on it.  What would we say?”

“Who gives a fuck?  Someone down there may be able to tell where it came from… dust it for prints… something.”

I wiped the tears from my eyes and stood.  “
Okay.  It’s 3 o’clock.  Courthouse is still open.  Let’s go file a restraining order.”

*
****

Would anyone care?
The paperwork took less than thirty minutes to fill out.  I knew it wouldn’t keep him away from us.  The clerk that filed the paperwork basically took the disc and shoved it in a pile.  But, I tried to remain positive.  Maybe they
would
find something.  If the stalking laws were taken seriously, maybe he could be arrested.  We could move forward.  Let this all fall behind us. 

The weekend went by without much of a hitch
, except for a phone call from Belle to Jack.

I listened to him as he carefully took in what she was saying.

What do you mean?

I thought…

Well, everything was fine…

They were happy.

When he got off of the phone, he turned to me.

“I think that Rachel and Vince broke up.”

“What?” I exclaimed.  There was no way that could be true.

“Don’t talk to her about it yet.  I
think it might just be a break.”

“What is
that
supposed to mean?”

“Look, Elsa, you haven’t even come clean about us yet.  It’s not like you can call her and ask her about it.  She’s going to know that you found out from me.  If you want to tell her
about us yourself, now is the time.”

I thought about it.  “It’s not that I don’t want her to know.  I just…
anyway, do I call him then?”

“Why do you need to get involved at all?”

“Because,” I yelled, “he is her
one
!”

Jack laughed.  “What are you talking about?”

“She… she’s different with him.  She fucking married Ryan and he wasn’t right.  She can’t end this.”

“You’re cute.  Well, call him
if you want, I guess.  But just… be nice, okay?”

“Why?” I asked.  “What did he do?”

“He asked her to marry him.”

I paused.  “What?  They’ve only been seeing each other for a few months!”

“I know, babe, which is why you need to stay out of it.  They’ll work it out.  Just don’t be nosy.”

“I’m not,” I lied.  “I just don’t understand.”

“So call him.  He’ll tell you.  I’m not getting in the middle of this.”

I
called Vince from Jack’s phone.  He didn’t even
know
me… I had talked to him once.

“Vince?”

“Yeah,” he answered.  He sounded shredded.

“It’s Elsa… Rachel’s sister?”

“Hi.”  His voice lifted.

“What’s going on?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean
.  You and her?  What happened?”

He paused.  “I love her.”

“I know… I mean, what happened with you guys?”

“I was dumb.  I asked her to marry me and… I don’t know… she just flipped.  She seemed like she was ready.  I guess I read her all wrong.”

“I know she loves you.  Just… you ask a girl to marry you after like a week?”

“Yeah… I guess.  I
know it’s only been a few months, but I know what I want.  And I know what she
wants.  She’s just being crazy.  I talked to her about it last night.  She wants to go on dates.”

I laughed.  “Well, what were you doing
before
?”

“I guess not a lot of those.  We moved fast. 
What if she gets space and then decides she doesn’t want me back?”

“Well,” I said, taking a long breath, “call her, then.”

“I can’t.  She won’t let me.”

I laughed again.  “What do you mean?”

“She told me not to call her for two weeks.  One text per day.  That’s all I get.”

That was
so
Rachel.  When she wanted to think about things, she always gave some ridiculous ultimatum.  She wanted him just as badly as he wanted her.  She was making him wait for it.

“Okay… so make the texts so good that she
’ll come crawling back tomorrow.”

“I love her,” he
repeated.

“God, you’re just like Jack.  Just fucking tell her.  She’ll be back.  I know her.”

“Thanks,” he said, exhaling.

“Gotta roll.  Want to talk to Jack?”

“That’s okay.  You guys have a fun night.”

“Yeah.  Hey, Vince?”

“Yeah?”

“
Go get her back.”

“I will,” he said, confidently, “if it takes forever.”

“Heather and Kate are coming over tonight
.  Is that cool?” Jack asked me as I dressed for work that Friday morning.

“Yeah, I gues
s.”

More people to meet?
  I had reached my quota for the year with his family and his “friends” from the bar.

“Heather talks nonstop about you and you’ve never even met.  She doesn’t understand why you’ve never come into the shop.”

“Did you explain that the store is a hundred miles away from the apartment?”

Jack laughed.  “She knows
about your aversion for going north.  Believe me… we’ve had many conversations about it.”

“
I don’t have an aversion, Jack.  You make me sound like a snob.  It’s just that it’s not a big deal for her to go to the shop.  They already live in Edgewater.”

“
Rogers Park.”

“
God, even worse.  It’s all just… far.”

He smiled and wrapped his arms around me, whispering in my ear, “Wear something good tonight.”

I pushed on his chest.  “Are you trying to rile up the lesbians?”

“I just want to make sure
they know I’ve still got it like that.”  He bent down and squeezed my behind.

“Come on, old man, show me how you’ve
got
it,” I whispered, laughing.

He reached for the button of his
jeans and pulled them down his hips.  Pressing me up against the dresser, he pulled my underwear aside and pushed inside of me in seconds.

I moaned.  “Baby,” I breathed, “we’ve got to go fast.  I’ve gotta be at work in 25 minutes.”

He pushed harder.  “Won’t… take long.”

I leaned my elbows against the
dresser and lifted my leg higher, wrapping it around his thigh.  He palmed my backside and pushed in faster.

I tried to focus on Jack and how good
he felt.  My real focus, however, fell to the windows.  I had bought new curtains in the last week, filling every square inch of glass in my apartment with heavy magenta fabric.  I was pointedly pissed as I hung them.  I loved natural light. 
Dave
did this; he was forcing me into life as a hermit.

Now, every time I moved, I looked at that fabric. 

Was there a gap? 

D
id I need to pull them tighter?
 

The video of him following us around town w
as enough.  Inside of the apartment?  Seriously crossing the fucking line.

I closed my eyes and leaned back onto the top of
the low dresser.  I whispered, “Harder.”

I needed
Jack close to me.  I needed to feel safe again.  He wrapped his arm tightly around my waist and ground his hips into mine.  My jewelry box knocked against the wall, eventually falling off of the edge onto the floor.

“Shit,” Jack mumbled.

“Leave it.”

I hopped up on the dresser and pulled him in with the heels of my boots.
  He laughed, but moved in closer, kissing me hard.

It was over way too soon, both of us gasping for breath.  But
, we were on a schedule.  These four o’clock fuckings were going to kill me eventually.

Jack pressed his hands on my thighs, pulling me in for a slow kiss. 

“We gotta go, babe,” I murmured.

“Just one more minute
.  I can’t let you go yet.”

I didn’t want to go eithe
r.  I wished we could just crawl into bed and hide away together for the next, say, hundred years.

*
****

I obsessively cleaned before Heather and Kate arrived.  I didn’t know what my problem was.  The house was already clean.  Since Jack had started living there, it had never been
more immaculate.  But I was nervous.  These were Jack’s people, not mine.  They needed to like me.

I ended up wearing a black and white Jorja tuxedo dress.  It was sleeveless with a white low-cut bib panel with twenty
or so black tiny satin sheathed buttons down the front.  It barely covered my ass, but Jack had requested something hot, so…  I was stepping up my game for his guests.

“Hey,” I said as I dusted the table for the tenth time, “Have you heard from Jeremy? 
Did he pick up the boxes?”

“They were all gone when I went to the studio on Monday.  He did leave me a note though.  It was taped to the door addressed to ‘Dick.’  Let’s just say that it was less than cordial.”  He smiled.

“At least that’s done, you know?”

“Babe,” he
replied, sitting down on the couch, “as much as this little French maid thing you’ve got going here turns me on, sit your ass down.  You’re making me crazy.  The place is fine.”

“Should I pull my hair up?”

“Stop.”

I knew I was being neurotic.  I pulled my hair into a high bun and snapped an elastic band over it.  “Better?”

“No,” he replied.  “It looked good before.  When you pull it up, it just reminds me of
you in bed.  If I’m thinking about you in bed, I’m not going to be able to keep my hands off of you.”

“You’re a
moron.”

“Yes, but I’m your
moron.”

“Not for long if you keep saying
things like that.”  I smiled at him.

The buzzer rang.
  Buster gave a weak bark. 

Fuck.

I stood and quickly pulled the elastic out of my hair, giving it a quick shake.

Jack opened the door.
  Heather leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek.  “What up, bro?  This your girl?”

She was cute.  She had long, auburn hair and pale skin with lots of freckles.  She looked to be about
18 years old.  I knew she was at least 30.  Time had been very good to her. 

She stood next to another woman.  She w
as very tall and thin; she wore a dark, pixie cut with heavy eye makeup.  Her face was soft and friendly, smiling at me.  This had to be Kate.

“Katie,” Jack said, leaning in to give her a short hug.

“Hi,” she said.

“Guys, this is my Elsa.  This is Heather and Kate.”

Heather came close and wrapped her arms around me.  “Hi!” she squealed.  “Holy shit, Jack!  Whoa.  She’s even hotter than I imagined.”

“Right?” he said, laughing.

“Man, you totally outkicked the coverage on this one.  Bravo.”  She gave him a high-five and turned back to me.  “Sorry if I’m embarrassing you.  I can’t help it.”

“It’s okay.  It’s so nice to meet you both,” I said, glancing between the two girls.

Kate pulled on Heather’s t-shirt.  “Babe, quit it.  We just got here.  You have all night to be fucking offensive.”  Her voice was quiet and sweet.

Heather pulled away from me, but gave me a long look.  “Damn.  Alright, what are we drinking?”

We grabbed some beers and a sparkling water for Kate (“not much of a drinker”) and headed to the sitting area.  Heather and Kate sat on the couch while Jack and I sat together on my pink beanbag chair, holding hands, facing them.

“You guys are too fucking cute,” Heather said.  “Seriously.”  She turned to Kate.  “Why aren’t we that cute?”

Kate rolled her eyes.  “I am that fucking cute, I promise you.”

Heather rubbed Kate’s arm softly… then smacked her lightly in the back of the head.  Kate laughed.

“Excuse my girlfriend.  She’s full of piss and vinegar tonight.”

Kate punched Heather in the leg.  They were funny
and sweet together.

Heather turned to Jack.  “
Man, you have got to tell me how you landed a girl this hot.  Elsa, have you recently been released from prison?  Used to be a man perhaps?”

“Prison was
hard, you guys,” I deadpanned in a baritone voice.

Jack laughed.  “Here’s how you get a girl like this.  Ask her to watch your dog.”

I squeezed his hand lightly and rubbed it with my free hand.  “It also helps if the dog is cute.”

“You’re a baker, right?” Heather asked.

“Yep.”

“Jack says you want to open a shop in Edgewater.”

I turned to him.  We’d not decided on any of that.

“Um, I don’t think so.  I’m just not sure about that whole thing, so…”

“Oh, come on,” she replied, “come to the dark side.  The north end isn’t that bad.”

I smacked Jack on the leg.  “Why must you insist on telling everyone that I hate Edgewater?  I don’t.  I like it, but it’s a 45 minute commute and I refuse to wear flat shoes.”

“And thank God for that,” Heather added, staring at my legs.

Kate looked at her.  “Literally… sitting right here.” 

“I just mean that I don’t really have the money for a start-up and I’m not letting Jack pay for it.  I’ve been toying around with going back to pastry school too.  I’m not professionally trained.”

Jack looked at me.  “You’ve never mentioned school.”

“Well, it’s just an idea.  It’s something I’ve thought about, but it takes at least six months for any of the programs.  And it’s ridiculously expensive.  Eh… it’s dumb.”

Jack studied me.  “It’s not dumb, Elsa.  If you want to go to school, you should do that.”

“Gemma needs me.”

“Gemma would understand.”  He brushed his thumb to my cheek and pressed a kiss there.
  “We should definitely put my place on the market.  I’ll just rent studio space somewhere around here.  Problem solved.”

“Noooo,” Heather whined.  “You can’t leave me up there.”  She turned to Kate.  “We’re moving to Wicker Park.”

Kate smiled.  “No, we’re not, honey.”

“You can get a teaching job down here… come on.”

“I’ll keep the store in Edgewater.  You’ll see me every other day anyway,” Jack told her.

“You won’t.  Soon, you’ll realize you don’t want to drive up there and you’ll
move the store anyway.  My life will suck.”

Kate gave her a long stare.  “
Really?”

“Who am I going to have gossip hour with?  If I can’t talk to Jack, I’m fucked.”

“Heather,” Jack said, “gossip hour is you rattling on while I work and pretend to listen.”

She put her hand over her heart.  “That hurts, honey.”

He looked back to me.  “I’m serious, El.  Do this.  The store will still happen.  You can wait a year, right?”

“Yeah,” I said.  “It’s not that… I just… it’s a million different things.”

“Don’t complicate it.  Just sign up and do it.”

I smiled at him.  “Another
drink, ladies?”

Kate rose.  “I’ll help you.”

When we got to the kitchen, she looked around.  “Wow, great space.  You should do it, you know.  School?  I was older when I went back and I was scared out of my fucking mind.  But now I have a great job that I love.  It’s all worth it.”

She ran her hand through her short hair.  “And, girl, if it’s
only six months long, even better.  I started from scratch and went to a four-year school when I was 27.  That shit was hard, trying to make it work financially.  I had lived on my own for almost a decade.  It’s not like I could ask my parents to pony up.  So I just took class during the day and worked at a shitty dance club as a shot girl.  It was the only job I could get where I made enough to keep me in an apartment and school.  I was so happy not to have to shake my tits every night.  School?  Totally worth it.”

“I already work at a bakery that I love, though.  It’s a hard decision.”

“Yeah, but Jack can support you.”

“I don’t
need
Jack to support me.”  I was defensive.

“No, honey, I didn’t mean it like that.  I just mean that he want
s
to.  He is fucking awesome and makes a shit ton of money.  Guys like that don’t grow on trees, you know?”  She rubbed my arm.  “Anyway, it’s just something you should think about.”

We grabbed the drinks and walked back into the living room.

“Hey,” Heather said, “Kate and I have news.”

“Yeah?” Jack asked.

“Yeah… Kate’s pregnant.”

“Holy shit,” Jack exclaimed.  “You serious?  You had what?  One round of insemination?”  He stood and walked to Heather.  “Congratulations, you guys.”  He pulled both of them into a hug.

Kate was beaming.  She put her hand over her stomach instinctively.  She wasn’t showing yet, but I felt a sudden pang of jealousy.  Tears brimmed in my eyes.

“Congratulations, you two.  Really… wonderful news.”  I rubbed Kate on her back.

Jack looked over at me.  I knew he could tell something was wrong.  I needed to get it together.  He laced his fingers in mine and bumped me with his hip.  I smiled and faked enthusiasm.

I wished it was me.
  Was I losing my mind?