56 Days (Black) (16 page)

We discussed the baby for the next hour
before the girls got up from the couch.  “It’s late, you guys.  We’re gonna go,” Heather announced.  “It was truly awesome to meet you, Elsa.  Not only are you super-hot, but I kind of like you,” she teased.

“Thanks.  I like you guys too.”

I did.  They were great.  I was exhausted though and couldn’t wait to go to bed.

We said our goodbyes and closed the door.  I sighed and headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth.  Jack followed me.

“What’s going on, honey?”

I tipped the toothbrush with paste and put it in my mouth.  “What do you mean?” I mumbled.

“I mean that as soon as you found out that Kate was pregnant, you changed.  You hardly said anything in the last hour.”

“Just tired,” I
lied.  I spit into the bowl and wiped my mouth.

“Wait.”  He lightly pulled at my arm when I tried to get past.  “I mean it.  Were you mad about something?  Is this about Lana?”

My face turned hot.  “Not everything is about Lana, Jack.”

Why did she have the ability to make me a crazy nutbag?

“I’m sorry,” I continued.  “I didn’t mean that.”

I walked into the bedroom, Jack still following me.  “Do you want a baby, Elsa?”

I opened my mouth, but closed it immediately.

“Well, what is it then?”

“I don’t know,” I said.  “I guess I never really thought much about it until they were talking about their baby.  They were so happy and there was so much love there.  I guess I was just a little jealous for a minute.”

I unbuttoned my dress and slipped it over my head.

“Holy shit,” Jack responded.  “You were wearing
that
underneath this whole time?”

“Focus.”

“Sorry, it’s just like some kind of Bettie Page getup… I’ve never seen it.  Anyway, I want to talk about this.”

“I don’t,” I barked, pulling off my bra and slid
ing into bed.  “Goodnight, Jack.”

He sat down on the side, his hand pressed to my hip.  “I thought you wanted school and your own shop… you just told me the other day that you
didn’t want to rush things or make any big decisions until Lana had her baby.”

I rolled over to face him.  “And I still don’t.”  I closed my eyes.  “Goodnight.”

He bent close to me.  “We don’t have to wait.  Why can’t we, Elsa?  Have a baby?”

My eyes flew open and I sat up on my side.  “Because I don’t want to be some single
mother with a kid.  I want a family, Jack.  And you’ve already fucking got one with Lana!” I screamed.

He turned from me and stood.  “I’ll be at my house tonight.
  Call me when you figure out what it is you want.”

“Jack,” I called after him.

Buster’s collar jingled as the front door closed.

Well, s
hit.

*
****

I lay in my bed for about an hour, staring at the ceiling.  It was almost two in the morning, but there was
no
way I could sleep in this bed without him.

Fuck.

I shuffled out of bed and threw on a pair of skinny jeans and an oversized zip-up sweatshirt of Jack’s.  It smelled like him.

Jack had bought me a new iPhone earlier in the week (thank God).  I dialed the taxi company he’d programmed on speed dial and ordered a ride to Edgewater.

The walk up his steps was slow and agonizing.  What if he told me to go back home?  What if he rejected me? I deserved it. 

Why had I said all of those terrible things to him?  I knew he didn’t want Lana.  He wanted to be done with her and I couldn’t help myself.  I just had to keep throwing her in his face.

I turned the key and opened the door to a dark living room.  I quickly disabled the alarm and hushed Buster.

I unzipped the sweatshirt and slipped off my shoes quietly.  When I made my way into Jack’s room, his back was turned to me.  “You’d make for a shit burglar, Elsa,” he murmured.

I slid in beside him and wrapped my arm around his waist.  “I’m so sorry, baby.”

He put his hand over mine and rubbed my
fingers with his.  “Me, too.  Let’s just forget everything that happened earlier.  Stay with me.”

“
You think I rode for 30 minutes and paid God-knows-what to turn around and go home?”

He rolled over to face me.  “Honey, I’m sorry about all of the baby stuff.  I don’t know why I was trying to rush you.  I know you want a family.  I do too.  That’s what I meant when I suggested it.  I didn’t mean that I wanted to knock you up and then just come by to take my kid on the weekends.  You know that, right?  I meant that I wanted to have a baby with
you
… get married… raise him together.  You know, like people do.”  He smiled and brushed a stray piece of hair behind my ear.  “I love your hair pulled up like this.  I can see your whole face.”

“You said ‘him.’”

“What?”

I smiled.  “You said ‘him’ about the baby.  You want to send it back if it’s not a shiny new boy?”

“Well, if it’s a shiny new girl that looks like her mother, I’ll have to lock her ass up in a closet until she’s 45.”

“If she’s anything like the women in my family, she’ll figure out how to pick the lock.”

Jack’s face got serious.  “What do you think about all of this?”

It was my turn to get serious.  “Do you really want to do this?  If you do,
we have to change some things.  I know we talked about you moving in with me, but now I think we should probably keep the house here.  There’s a lot more space.”  I scrubbed my face with my hands.  “I can’t even believe we’re talking about this.  As far as a baby goes, maybe I should stay on the pill for a little while.  Classes start November 19th.”

“
You already know the schedule?”

“
Like I said, I’ve been thinking about this for a while.  Just… anyway, to finish the program takes about six months.  It ends in late-May.”

He rubbed my leg, smiling.  “Take these jeans off.  I can’t focus on what you’re saying when you
’re still wearing clothes.”

I stood and pulled off my
pants and tank, but left my underwear on.  They were the new set that I had bought for him off of the Babygirl Boutique website.  They were high-waisted black pin-up panties with a matching long-lined bullet bra.  They were completely unlike anything I owned, but they looked hot on the model.  I thought Jack might like them.

He did.

“Good God,” he murmured.  “Maybe you ought to put the pants back on.”

I pushed the covers back, finding him naked
(and erect).  I motioned for him to move to the center of the bed.  I needed a better look.

I sat
in between his legs, perched on the heels of my feet.  I rubbed his thighs lightly with my fingertips.  “I have a surprise for you in my bag,” I whispered.

“Is it a can of tuna?” he teased.

I laughed aloud.  “Maybe.  You want to see it?”

“God, yes
.”

I popped o
ff of the mattress and dug through my giant bag.  “Ah ha.”

I slid back into bed, holding
up my gift to him. 

“See?” I said.  “It’s an enhancer ring.  And… it’s pink.”

He smiled.  “Your favorite color.”

“So, the girl at the store said that you wait until you’re
, you know,
ready
and then you use lubricant to slide it on.  I bought some of that too, see?”  I held up the small bottle.  “It’s cherry flavored.  Anyway, so then, once it’s on you, you can turn on this vibrate feature and then when I’m on top of you, it’s supposed to stimulate me.  Fun, right?”

Jack laughed aloud.  “Honey, I know what
it does… but yes.  Definitely fun.”  He rubbed his fingers along my hips.  “You didn’t buy this for me, did you?  Because you think I’m bored or something?  I assure you, I’m not.  In this garb, you could just stand and recite the alphabet and I’d probably finish.”

“No,” I pouted, “I bought it because I thought you might like it.  And… I might like it.  Can we just try?”

“Um… yeah, dummy.  As you can see, I’m kind of ready.”

I smiled and squeezed a few drops of the gel into my hand,
priming him.  “I can see that.  You’ll tell me if I’m doing this wrong, right?”

Jack moaned
as I slid it down.  “You’re doing it right.”

I laughed and studied my handiwork.  “Okay, so I guess it’s ready.”

I was nervous and had no idea why.  Jack and I had been together a million times. 
Why was this one so weird?

I s
lipped my underwear off, but kept the bra on.  I climbed on top of him and slowly moved down. 
Oh, God.
  We had never used any sort of lubrication before, but I totally got the appeal.  It felt fucking awesome.  He held the button in the front for a few seconds and the ring came to life.

Holy fuck.
It took all I had not to lose it immediately.  I lifted up on him, trying to get some distance between me and that thing.  Honestly, I didn’t want to make an ass out of myself in the first thirty seconds.

Jack pulled my hips, forcing me to rest on it… again!  I screamed aloud.  “Oh my God, Jack… it’s too much.  I… can you turn it off?”

He didn’t.  Instead, he shifted the base of it, changing the angle.  He gripped my backside and moved me down until he was seated fully inside of me.  I leaned back and rested my hands on the tops of his thighs, gently moving back and forth.  All the while, this fucking
jackhammer
between my legs was supplying me with a brand new form of torture I’d never experienced.

“Jack… I…”

I didn’t know what I was begging for.  To stop?  To go faster?  I couldn’t concentrate anymore.  My eyes were going dark and I was going to climax… any… second.

“I’m coming,” I choked out.  I hated that word
; felt ridiculous using it.  But, it was literally the
only
thing that came out of my mouth.

“Me, too,” he responded,
his fingers digging into the sides of my hips. 

When
my orgasm hit, I immediately pulled off of him.  I couldn’t take it, sitting on top of him while that thing continued to buzz at a hundred miles an hour.  When I moved, Jack hit at the same time, literally spraying me. 

Could this be any more embarrassing?

“Oh my God,” I squealed.

“Baby,” Jack said, panicked.  “I’m so sorry.  I… didn’t know you were going to pull out… I…”

He pulled the ring off and grabbed at the sheets, trying to clean me.  I sat there and let out a loud laugh.  “Okay, so no more cock ring… ever… again.”

He smiled, still cleaning up his little
spectacle.  “Shower?” 

I nodded.  “We may have to burn the sheets.”
  I looked around.  “If we’re going to live here, we definitely need a different bed anyway.  I hate that this was the one that you and Lana slept in.”

“It’s not.  When she moved out,
our old bed went with her.  I made this one a few months ago.  You and I are the only people to have slept on it, apart from Rachel.  Besides, it seemed to have served its purpose tonight.”

“Ew,” I responded.  “Don’t be that guy.  I literally have
your man seed in my hair, so don’t be cute.”

He barked out a laugh.  “And on your new bra.”

“You know, I’ve always
wanted
a pearl necklace, so…” I joked, gesturing to my chest.

“I said I was sorry.”  Jack laughed and pulled at my belly ring.  “
We’ll just bring your bed from the apartment.  I like that one better anyway.  I’ll go start the water.”

After a few minutes, I joined him. 

We cleaned up, but spent most of the time in there kissing.

Laughing.

Touching.

Falling in love all over again.

All had been silent for a few weeks.  No word from Lana and no excitement on the Dave-front.  Things were starting to settle down.

I had signed up for my program and had a talk with Gemma about leaving.

She was heartbroken, but knew it was the right choice.  She was my biggest fan and wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass me by.

“I’ll miss you,” she said, wiping tears from her eyes.

“Don’t say that.  I’m not going anywhere.  I just won’t be here every day.
  Besides, you’ve got Charlie.”

She smiled. 
“He’s a fucking idiot.”  Pausing, she continued, “This thing with Jack… is it real?  I mean, are you in it all the way?  A baby, El?”

I smacked her on the arm.  “I’m not pregnant now, dummy.  It’s just that
we both want a family and it seems like the right time.  And I know he’s the right guy.”

She nodded. 
“I know, but you’ve gotta see your mom, Elsa.  I know you guys have a super rocky fucking thing going but, if Jack is your future, she’s gotta at least meet him.”

She was right.  I had been avoiding her.  She didn’t even know Jack existed.  Rachel had told me that she didn’t take the news about her and Vince very well.  I just didn’t want to suffer my own drama-filled reunion any sooner than I had to.

But Gemma had a valid point.  My mother needed to meet Jack.  If she didn’t accept him, she was just going to have to get over it.

*
****

That night, I broached the subject with Jack.

“You want to meet my mom?” I asked, not knowing what I wanted the answer to be.

He laughed.  “Are you serious right now?”

I shrugged my shoulders.  “I guess.  If I quit my job and start going to school and move, she’s eventually going to figure it out.  I don’t want to, but if we do get pregnant eventually, I don’t want the baby to not know their grandmother, you know?”

He rubbed my back.  “I understand.  And, yeah, I want to meet her, of course.”

“You say that now.”

“I don’t care if she doesn’t like me.  This is about us.  Our plan, right?”

I nodded.  “Yeah… right.”

“Hey, I talked to Vince today.  He and Rachel are not
only
back together, he’s moved in there.”

“What the fuck?” I exclaimed.  “Why is it that when every major event happens in my sister’s life, I have to hear it from you?”

He laughed.  “Because your sister is wildly private and my brother is wildly loose-lipped.  She’s like you, you know.  Rachel?  You two both have your whole lives on lockdown.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean that you don’t let a lot of people in.  You know I’m right.”

He
was
.

“Whatever.  So, do you want my mom to come here or do you want to go there?  If we go there, we can leave any time we want.”

“Let’s do it at your apartment.  That way, we’re in our own place.  You’ll be more comfortable.”

I hated
her house.  It held all of our cold memories together.  If it weren’t for Rachel, I wouldn’t have many pleasant reminders of growing up there.  After our dad was diagnosed with cancer, my only images of him consisted of playing dolls while he lay in his bed, nodding off from all of the medication.

He bought me my first E-Z Bake Oven.  I made him a cake with it the day before he died.

*****

My mother made plans with
me to visit us on Friday night.  When the buzzer rang, I took a long look at Jack, whispering, “I love you.”

He w
as wearing a fitted Ralph Lauren plaid flannel shirt in brown and cream with the sleeves rolled up.  His jeans were also fitted and cuffed in a dark blue.  He wore his sand suede colored Chukka boots and his thick, navy glasses.  I was swooning at how gorgeous he looked.

I went to the door and pulled it open slowly.  “M
om.”

Buster growled.  My mother frowned at him.

“Elsa,” she said.  She nodded and leaned in to press a kiss to my cheek.  “You got a dog.” 

She walked into the apartment with the same look she always had when she came over.  Confusion
over my life choices?  Disgust at my decorating skills?

“M
om, this is Jack.  Jack, this is my mom, Sarah Black.”

She didn’t reach out her hand to him.  Instead, she turned to me and asked
, “What happened to the other one?  The lawyer?  He drove the Mercedes?”

My stomach contracted.  “I’m not seeing him anymore, Mom.”

“Oh,” she said casually.  She reached out her hand this time and took Jack’s with a weak effort.  “It’s nice to meet you, Mark.”

“It’s Jack,” he corrected.

She knew his name.  She was just being a bitch.

“Right,
the brother of that
Vince
,” she said, feigning a smile.  “See you’ve really done a lot with the place.”

“Yeah,” I murmured, losing my confidence.  “Well, Jack made me a new table and chairs.”  I pointed to it, in case she could miss it in my small apartment.

“Huh.”  She barely looked at it.  “It’s very warm in here.  I always forget that you don’t have air conditioning.  I should have worn something else.”

Ignore her.  Ignore her.

“Jack made a roast.  Do you want a drink, Mom?”

She reached into her bag and pulled out her gold cigarette case.  “Actually, I’m going to step outside for a
moment.  It’s cooler out there anyway.”

“Mom,” I replied, “Dinner’s almost ready.”

“And I will eat it when I’m
done
, Elsa Jane.”

I cringed.  Usually, when she used that name, it was followed by
a four-hour sequester to my room.

“
I can’t believe you’re still smoking,” I whispered.

“I’m sorry?”

“I… just can’t believe you still smoke.  Dad died from lung cancer, Mom…”

She tapped her cigarette on the end of the metal case.  “You’re one to tell me about bad habits,” she clipped, her eyes
glancing from Jack’s to mine.

She walked past us and opened the sliding glass door, shutting it behind her.

“Wow,” Jack said, smiling.  “So warm and fuzzy.”

I laughed.  “Right?”

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in for a kiss.  “Just a few more hours.  You don’t think she’s going to want to spend the night, do you?”

“No,” I barked.  “Even if she did, it’s not go
nna happen.”

A few minutes later, my mother made her way back into the kitchen, washing her hands in the sink.  “So, what can I help with?”

“Nothing,” Jack answered.  “Please have a seat at the table and I’ll bring the food in.”

“Oh, handsome
and
accommodating.”

What was she doing? 
She was playing him somehow.  I just wasn’t sure why.

I joined her at the table.  She tapped her fingernails
and stared at me.  “That’s some dress.  The Devil’s color.”

I immediately pulled at the hem
of my red cap-sleeved dress.  It was short, of course, but all of my dresses were.  I tried to pick out something mildly conservative, but it wouldn’t have mattered if I would have worn a nun’s habit.  She still would have thought it was slutty.

Jack joined us a minute later, carrying a huge platter filled with roast, potatoes, carrots, and cabbage.  It looked and smelled incredible.

“And he can cook,” she sneered.

“Yeah, there’s not a whole lot he can’t do,” I said, knowing full well the effect my words would have on her.

Jack stole a glance at me. 
Quit it
, he mouthed.

“So, Jack,” she said, placing her elbows on the table
.  “What do you do?”

“I’m a furniture designer.”

“Oh,” she replied, letting out a wet cough. “Big money in furniture designing then?”

“I do alright,” he clipped out.

“You know, Elsa has always had quite the luck in the man department.  She always picks the most handsome ones… and wealthy.  She has a taste for the finer things in life.”

Ah.  Got it.
  Her angle was to paint me as a gold digger. 

“Mmm, yes,” I said
.  “That’s me, Mom.”  I gestured around at my little apartment.

She smiled and scooped a small amount of meat and vegetables onto her plate.  “Well, all in good time.”

“She’s a great pastry chef,” Jack said.  “She’s going to school to train this fall.”

My mother looked over at me, dropping her fork with a clink on the plate.  “Oh, yeah?  And who is paying for this school?”

“I am,” I said, glancing at Jack.  “Well, Jack is helping me.”

“Uh huh,” she said, picking the fork back up.  She smiled, knowing that she was winning.

“Sarah,” he responded, “I want her to take the program.  I offered to pay for it.  When she finishes, we are going to look into opening a store.”

“Oh.”  She smiled.  “Are you going to open the store with all of your savings, darling?”

Low blow. 
My mom knew I was broke.

“No,” I said.  “Jack is going to invest in the business.”

“Of course,” she said, piercing a carrot.  “It sounds wonderful.”

“It is wonderful,” I bellowed.  “And I’m moving into his house, too.”

Oh, God.  Where did that come from?

“Is that right?”  She smiled.  “You didn’t waste any time hooking your claws in this one, huh?  He cooks, cleans, and makes the money to support all of your preposterous schemes.”

“Being a store owner is not preposterous, Sarah,” Jack responded, his voice calm.  “I’m a small business owner and have been for almost ten years.  Her baking is phenomenal and she has a real shot at success.  I don’t understand why it seems that you don’t want that for her.”

Man, he was totally going to get some later.

“You know, your father was right about you,” she said, looking at me.  “Always living in the clouds.  Making cupcakes is cute, honey, but sooner or later, you’re going to have to realize that you are an adult.”

“
Mom, I was eight years old when Dad died.  Of
course
I lived in the clouds.  And what would you know about being an adult?  Besides the fucking make-up counter, you’ve never had a job in your life!” I yelled.

“
Elsa,” Jack interjected, “this is just dinner.  We aren’t here to fight with each other.  The reason we invited you here is simple, Sarah.  Elsa and I are together.  We have plans of a future and wanted to share some of that with you tonight.”

“She doesn’t want to listen, Jack…”

He cut me off.  “As I was saying, we wanted to share some things.  Elsa is moving into my house with me.  Also, she is starting classes in the fall.  When she completes, we plan to open a business.  We are also planning a family.”

Shut up, shut up, shut up.

“Oh, out of wedlock, I suppose.  Not that it surprises me.”

“No.  My intention is to marry Elsa.”  He glanced over to me and let out a soft smile.

My mother stood and took her plate to the sink.  She had hardly touched her food.  “The food was very good, Jack.  Thank you for cooking.  I should probably get going.”

“M
om,” I called.  “You just got here an hour ago.”

“Traffic.  It’s Friday.  I don’t want to get home at midnight.”

“Ma, it’s 7.  It’s not going to take you five hours to get home.”

“Either way,” she responded, “I don’t like to drive at night.”  She turned to Jack.  “Nice to meet you again.”

He stretched his hand out and took hers in his, giving it a short squeeze.  “I’m going to take care of her, Sarah.  She’s not living in the clouds.  She’s going to be great at this... at all of it.”

She pulled her hand from his and dug around for her car keys.  She leaned in and kissed me on the cheek.  “Glad to see you found someone to
help you get it together.”

My cheeks burned hot, but I ignored her.  “Bye, Mom.”

She gave me a tight-lipped smile and closed the door behind her.

I headed towards the bedroom and slid under the covers, a sob escaping my lips.  Jack nestled in behind me.

“Baby,” he whispered.  “I meant everything I said.  Elsa, please, look at me.”

I turned to face him.  He ran his thumb over my cheek, catching a stray tear with it.  Leaning in, he pressed his lips to mine.  He
padded out of the bed and dropped to his knees in front of me.

“Elsa… will you marry me?”

*****

I stared at him for a long moment.  “Are you serious?”

He pulled a delicate wooden band out of his pocket and held it up with his thumb and forefinger.  “I made this for you.”