7 Years Bad Sex (24 page)

‘Now we’re in the spare bedroom while we’re waiting for the builders to fix the roof and the bathroom. And we’ve got to buy a new bed and a couple of new sofas.’

James manically paced the room. ‘I don’t get it. It’s like—it’s like you’re doomed. If it’s not you yourselves, some kind of external event keeps you apart. I don’t know how to plan for this. I don’t know how I can cure this.’

‘Welcome to the club,’ Alex quipped. ‘Now you know how we feel.’

James sighed deeply. ‘We’ll need to take a break. I’ll have to do some more research before I can continue with your therapy.’

‘Don’t worry about it too much,’ Casey soothed. ‘I mean, of course we’re bloody frustrated, but this isn’t your fault. I don’t know
whose
fault it is.’

‘Don’t you dare bring up the curse now, either of you,’ Alex warned.

‘I wouldn’t dream of it,’ Casey retorted.

Alex grimaced. ‘On the bright side, the house will get a bit of a makeover, and we’ll make sure it gets done properly this time.’

‘
And
we discovered that Alex is an ace masseur,’ Casey chimed in. ‘That’s something, right?’

‘Your optimism is astounding.’ James was full of admiration.

‘Ha! It’s also completely fake,’ Casey admitted. ‘We’re grasping at straws here with no idea where to go next.’

‘Sometimes I feel like going back to that yacht and doing it all again, but without any mishaps,’ Alex grunted.

Casey gasped. ‘I thought you didn’t believe in the curse?’

‘I
don’t
. But something happened to us, and it happened on our wedding day. So maybe the trick is to do our wedding day all over again.’

Casey smiled. ‘That would be nice, wouldn’t it? Although we haven’t even
begun
to clear our credit cards from the honeymoon yet… Still, one can dream.’

James chewed his lip. ‘I wish I could offer more ideas. I’ll ask around among my colleagues.
Discreetly,
of course. Meanwhile, best of luck to you both. And stay in touch while we’re on break, especially if you have a breakthrough, okay?’

‘Sure,’ Alex promised. ‘And thank you for trying. I’m glad we did.’

‘And that,’ Casey concluded, ‘is a big win in itself, even if it feels like we’re running out of options faster than we can say “therapy”.’

Chapter Thirteen:

 

Newly Avowed

 

~Alex~

 

Even though he had said it in jest, the idea stuck in his head.
What if they
could
do their wedding all over again,
sans
mishaps this time?

For weeks, he had been mulling things over. Evidently, it wasn’t practical to repeat the wedding. As Casey had said, their credit cards were still a long, long way from recovering from the onslaught of the yacht and the honeymoon. And for another, it would involve explaining to all their friends what they were up to. Renewing of vows wasn’t uncommon as such—but hardly after seven months.

It was nearly November. Their wedding had been in May. It might as well have been a different lifetime for all that had happened.

Although, that wasn’t strictly speaking true. They had stayed together, quite literally, ‘for better and for worse’. They had lived through the near destruction of their house and the chaos of several sets of builders fixing the roof, ceilings, and bathroom, followed by painters and decorators working their magic. In amongst all that, they had recorded a new album with the band, done a few promotional gigs, and kept up their music teaching business. They had also kept up appearances for
most
people, and they had had some fun along the way while they were trying to overcome their… their thing.

It hadn’t all been bad, but it certainly hadn’t been easy. He felt they deserved a break.

A break!

Alex resisted the temptation to sit bolt upright in bed. He didn’t want to wake Casey up. It was early on a Sunday morning, and they had had a late gig the night before. Casey deserved some more sleep. He, on the other hand, was consumed by this new plan that was taking shape in his head.

A break. Maybe a mini-break somewhere in Cornwall. They both loved the sea, and Cornwall wasn’t too far away. Perhaps he could find a luxurious little bolt hole? It wouldn’t be a yacht, of course, but maybe he could organise them a cottage on the coast?

And perhaps… perhaps he could figure out a way of repeating their wedding on the sly, in secret, informally, and without too much of a to-do? Not that he didn’t want a to-do, but it simply wasn’t practical. Maybe just the two of them? And a vicar, of course. A vicar would be rather essential.

Alex thought hard. He was onto something here, he could feel it in his little toe.

 

~Casey~

 

‘Ooh, that looks nice. Are you thinking of finally running away?’ Casey joked as she picked up the brochure on the kitchen counter. She cast an inquisitive look at Alex, but he had his head bent over a pot of pasta on the stove and was stirring it vigorously.

‘Absolutely,’ he quipped, still stirring. ‘I thought we could run away together. If you want to, that is.’

‘What, to this place?’ Casey waved the brochure in his face. ‘Sure. Anytime. When are we leaving?’

Alex faced her properly and grinned. ‘You like the look of it, then?’

‘Oh yes! A whitewashed cottage right on the sea with a luxury kitchen and bathroom, white floorboards, fat sofas, a real fireplace, and a four-poster bed on the mezzanine floor with views right over the bay? Hell, yeah!’

Alex smiled. ‘Fab! You’d better get packing. The weather forecast isn’t great, so you’ll want jumpers and the like. A raincoat maybe, and wellies.’

Casey frowned. ‘The weather forecast isn’t great for when?’

‘This weekend. Tomorrow, in fact. I thought we’d take Friday off and head down there. I told Myles and Liza already that we’d be going away.’

‘You did? You cheeky so-and-so. No wonder Myles was giving me the old nudge-nudge-wink-wink when we left. I need a sit-down.’

She sank heavily onto a kitchen chair and looked at the brochure again. ‘Alex, this is stunning. When did you arrange this? And how much does it cost?’

Alex smiled at her, his lovely little-boy smile that melted her heart every time without fail. ‘Oh, you know. It’s not too bad. I booked it last week.’

‘Last week? Why?’

He shook his head. ‘Dunno. I thought you might fancy a break.’

‘I do, I do,’ Casey hastened to confirm. ‘Only it’s a little unexpected. I… I’d been thinking along the same lines, but I hadn’t found the perfect place yet. You got there before me.’

She rose and threw her arms around Alex’s neck. ‘Come here, you. I love you!’

‘I love you too. Let’s do some more squeezing of moments, what do you say?’ Alex winked at her.

‘Sure.’ Despite her outwardly enthusiastic response, Casey’s heart sank. She wasn’t in the mood for sex, not anymore. It was getting too tiresome to try. Or rather, Casey corrected herself, it was getting too tiresome to pretend afterwards that it didn’t matter that it hadn’t worked. ‘Squeezing’ the moment wasn’t high on her agenda.

Alex abandoned his cooking efforts for a moment. He tipped back her head and gave her a quick kiss. ‘I didn’t mean trying for sex,’ he issued quite bluntly, having evidently read her mind—or seen her concern on her face. ‘I meant having fun, like we said we would.’

‘So… so no expectations? No strings? No tries?’

‘Not unless the overwhelming urge overcomes us. I see us walking and cooking and drinking cham… drinking wine, that kind of thing.’

Casey nodded. ‘That sounds lovely. And this cottage is really ours?’

‘For three whole days.’

‘Yay!’ She finally let out a high-pitched squeal and allowed herself a little dance around the kitchen. She loved the seaside, and it would be great to get out of The Big Smoke and clear their heads, even though it was early November and the weather was bound to be rough. ‘Let’s have dinner. And wine. And pack!’

 

~Alex~

 

The bay was bathed in the last golden sunrays of the day when Alex nosed the car into the car park. Casey was almost beside herself with glee.

‘Alex, it’s so beautiful,’ she shouted. ‘Look, the sea’s on fire. It’s perfect!’

She unclipped her seatbelt and bounded out of the car before Alex had even engaged the parking break. He smiled to himself. This had been a great idea, and she didn’t know the half of it yet. It had been a challenge keeping the secret, but he thought he had pulled it off rather well. Casey really didn’t know. This would be the turning point, he was sure of it.

For now, however, he had to manoeuvre their gear from the car park to the cottage along a three-hundred-metre, rough footpath through the bracken. It hadn’t sounded so bad in the brochure, but now that he was confronted with the reality of it, he was starting to worry.
How on earth had they managed to do the cottage up with all the promised mod cons without a decent track to it? Where had the kitchen and bathroom installers parked? Had he gone to the wrong place? Worse still, had it been a con and the cottage would be ramshackle and horrible?

Casey gave up bounding around like a filly full of the joys of spring and offered to help him carry their belongings.

‘Where
is
this magical cottage, by the way?’ she asked excitedly.

Alex pointed out the path. ‘We follow that track around the hill… and I think you can glimpse the roof of the cottage behind that bend. See?’

Casey strained her eyes. ‘I do! Shall I go ahead and open the door for you?’

Alex nodded. The subtext was, ‘can I go and check out whether it’s really as beautiful as the brochure said?’, but he didn’t mind. He relished Casey’s enthusiasm, and he simply prayed she wouldn’t be disappointed.

‘Sure.’ He dug in his pocket for the keys that had been couriered to them by their helpful agent. ‘Here’s the key. Go explore. I’ll be Sherpa-ing our stuff across in no time at all.’

Casey blew him a kiss. ‘I’ll come and help you as soon as I’ve opened up the house. Oh, go on, I’ll take that bag.’ She lifted her overnight carry-on case and bounced it merrily along the uneven path. ‘See, no problem at all.’

When Alex finally reached the cottage with their luggage, cries of delight greeted him. He allowed himself to breathe again. It sounded like the place was living up to expectations.

‘Oh my gosh, Alex, it’s spectacular! I’ll never want to leave!’ Casey emerged from the front door and flung her arms around his neck. ‘How on earth did you find this place?’ She kissed his cheek and chattered on. ‘Never mind, come and see!’

He allowed himself to be led inside, and the cottage was indeed everything that they had been promised and more. The ground floor comprised of one very large room that served as lounge, kitchen, and diner, plus a bathroom off to one side. The floorboards were as white and fashionably distressed as the brochure had shown, and the kitchen was as modern and fancy. Despite the fading daylight, the room was bright and airy. An open flight of stairs gave access to the mezzanine floor where, he suspected, they would find their four-poster bed. It was truly a sanctuary.

Alex set the bags down and allowed himself a moment’s rest on one of the sofas. ‘This is fab,’ he agreed at length.

‘I can’t wait to get cooking,’ Casey enthused. ‘Are we cooking? What are we cooking? Do we have any food?’

‘I’ve ordered a—’

‘Food delivery!’

A man’s voice interrupted Alex just before the owner of said voice appeared in the front doorway, which Alex had conveniently neglected to shut. ‘Are you Mr and Mrs Morgan?’

‘We are.’ Alex jumped to his feet. ‘You found us.’

The delivery man scratched his chin. ‘I come here all the time with food for the weekenders,’ he said. ‘We should be setting up a little convenience store for you folks down in the car park.’

‘Oh no,’ Casey contradicted. ‘That would be a terrible pity.’ She nudged Alex in the side. ‘Shall we get unpacking? This is like Christmas come early. I don’t even know what you’ve ordered.’

‘Anything and everything you could possibly fancy in the next three days,’ Alex chortled. ‘And we’ll have to eat it all up, because I’m not taking anything back to London.’

 

~Casey~

 

‘It’s almost like being back on the yacht,’ Casey observed while they were eating their dinner a couple of hours later. Using the ingredients that Alex had so thoughtfully ordered ahead of time, they had prepared a seafood platter of lobsters, prawns, crabs, and mussels, with sides of potato gratin and salad. It had taken more time than perhaps strictly speaking necessary as they had opened a bottle of wine, put on some music, and danced while they were cooking, and it had been lovely.

Now they were sitting on the balcony overlooking the bay. Yes, they were eating outside even though it was November. The view was simply too inviting, and while it was cold, it was a clear, dry night. They had wrapped up in multiple jumpers and coats, lit plenty of candles, and Alex even got the little wood-burning stove going. So they didn’t feel the cold. At least not yet.

‘I know what you mean,’ Alex agreed. ‘The sound of the surf and the little lights on the hills… If the balcony were swaying, we could imagine ourselves back in St Tropez.’

Casey snorted. ‘I’m rather glad the balcony isn’t swaying. That would be a bit worrisome. But seriously—thank you. This is fab. I don’t know what brought this on, but I’m loving it.’ She tipped her wine glass to his and clinked, taking care to look Alex in the eye. Ever since she had learned about the curse, she had been ultra-careful to make eye contact with people when they clinked glasses with her. Just in case.

‘Cheers.’

‘Cheers,’ Alex replied and smiled.

Casey half expected there to be a little rumble, an indication that perhaps her ruse was working and the curse would be lifted. Not that she suddenly believed in the bloody curse, but you never knew. Alas—no rumble. She let the thought go.