A Brief Moment in TIme (26 page)

At some point he drifted into a fitful sleep, knowing yet questioning, seeking and finding yet driven to seek more.

ADELE WATCHED her friend. Kathryn’s face was pale and her body so still it seemed she’d vacated it altogether. The machines by her bed regulated her breathing and fed her, but the Kathryn she loved had gone somewhere else completely. Adele longed to know where and most importantly why.

“Kathryn,” she said softly as she took her friend’s hand. “Sweetie, I’m going to call you Kate now, because I think that’s who you are deep down inside. Kate, I have great news. I met Gavin. I talked to him. He’s wonderful.”

At the mention of Gavin’s name, Kate’s hand twitched. Adele felt it, and her pulse quickened with excitement. “I found him, sweetie! The clues you left—they led me right to him. And Kate,” she added emphatically, “he knows you too. He’s dreamed about you. Gavin wants to come and see you!”

Adele felt the movement again. It was slight, almost indiscernible, like a muscle twitching, but the fact that it moved in response to Gavin’s name had to mean something. The nurse entered the room, and Adele shared the exciting news. “Her hand—I felt a slight movement!”

The nurse smiled sympathetically. “Don’t get your hopes up, honey; it’s pretty common. I’ve felt it, too, when I’m bathing her, or changing her. I’m sorry.” She touched Adele’s arm. “I know how hard this is. I had a sister in the same condition. We held out hope for so long, but…” The nurse shook her head.

Adele refused to be swayed. She didn’t want to hear about the cases that didn’t make it. What she wanted was evidence to support her belief that Kate would be okay. After the nurse left, Adele resumed the conversation, telling Kate everything about her visit with Gavin. Even after she’d told her friend all she could remember of their conversations, she continued to talk, frequently mentioning his name in the hope that Kate’s hand might twitch again, but nothing happened.

“He’s easy on the eyes, Kate,” she tried to joke while holding back tears. “I knew you had it in you. Didn’t I tell you you’d meet someone great?”

She yearned to feel the movement again, to know for sure that Kate was trying to communicate with her, but she was struggling with her own doubts. “Gavin loves you, Kate,” Adele said, crying now. “He wants to see you. Wake up, Kate,” she begged. “Please wake up.”

GAVIN AND HIS DAD were finishing a project, and Gavin had to go into town for supplies. They had several orders for furniture, now, and the potential for a lucrative business. He’d been to Redding numerous times since his release from prison, and he often ran into people he knew. Although polite, they seemed uncomfortable around him. Older folks kept the conversation to his parents, farming, or the weather. People his age offered inconsequential gossip about mutual acquaintances. Gavin wondered if he would ever be just a regular guy in his hometown or if he’d always be the one that people smiled at but talked about behind his back.

He usually kept his trips brief, getting what he needed and returning straight home, but this time felt the desire to drive around. He’d been avoiding the area of town where the murder had taken place, but now part of him needed to see it again, needed to confront it. His heart rate accelerated as he turned down the street leading to the old mill.

The town’s lumber mill, having shut down, had been a hangout for young people when Gavin was a teenager. Now the old buildings were gone, completely, and row housing lined the street. Even those were looking run down.

Although the landscape had changed, a certain essence remained. It was no doubt linked to the neighborhood’s sordid past. Junk littered the front yards, broken-down cars were parked on the street, and many of the houses were in need of repair. Several young children were playing in the street, and Gavin slowed to a crawl as he approached, hoping they would move out of the way quickly so he could pass by.

As he waited, he noticed a young man walking toward him. Gavin took a second glance, and stiffened at what he saw. Looking back at him was Ryan, the kid he’d met in prison. To be more accurate, he was the kid he’d met in his dream, and now he was walking toward him on a street in Redding. Gavin wanted nothing more than to speed away from what he was sure was an apparition, but he couldn’t move. Two of the children had left the street, but the littlest one was still playing, totally oblivious to traffic or the fact that his mother was yelling at him from a nearby porch.

Ryan approached the passenger side of his vehicle, and Gavin reluctantly opened the window part way. “Hi Gavin,” the young man smiled. “Feels pretty good to be free, doesn’t it?”

“But you…” Gavin stammered. “I saw you in the infirmary. You...died.”

“I told you nothing’s real,” Ryan replied. “You created your experience there. You even created me.”

“Who are you?” Gavin demanded, feeling frightened. He had no idea what kind of strange magic he was caught up in, but it was beginning to get too weird.

“I’m part of you; I’m here to help you remember.”

Something about the familiar words caused Gavin to relax slightly.

“It’s okay. I told you you’d understand, and you will. Just believe. Remember what I said to you that day in the shop?”

Gavin closed his eyes, and Ryan’s words echoed in his mind: “You could be anywhere you want, tell any story you want. But you get stuck sometimes, believing you can’t leave. The prison is really in your mind.”

When he opened his eyes, Ryan was walking away. “What does that mean?” Gavin called after him. “I’m not in prison anymore.

“What does it mean?” Gavin called even louder, but Ryan didn’t answer.

ADELE HAD SPENT hours on the phone trying to reach the man who could authorize Gavin’s release. He was back in his office, and she’d finally gotten through to his personal assistant, letting her know it was an urgent matter. Now Adele was waiting to hear from him, but it had been days, and time was running out.

Kate’s father and sister showed up at the hospital that evening as Adele sat with Kate. Adele shared her belief in Kate’s well-being, told them about the movement she’d felt as she held Kate’s hand, and even relayed the possibility of an “old friend” coming to visit, but they weren’t swayed. They were more determined than ever to help Kate find her peace, and announced their decision to have the machines turned off the following day.

Adele’s tears failed to move them. They were heartless, uncaring murderers in her eyes, and she seethed in anger as she left the hospital.
Oh God, help me,
she cried, nearly out of her mind with the thoughts that were threatening to overwhelm her. At home she wept until she had no more tears and then sat exhausted, feeling as powerless as she ever had in her life.

As she wiped away the last of the tears, she asked herself what advice Kate would have for her. Adele was immediately aware that she was allowing her thoughts to run unchecked; she was completely at their mercy. In her practice she had an array of tools and techniques she used in helping others, and she suddenly realized that those tools were available to her as well. She believed in their effectiveness. She’d seen countless lives transformed by them, yet for some reason wasn’t using them herself—and she desperately needed the comfort they could bring her.

Her inner space had been sadly neglected, and she longed to revisit it. After spending a few minutes meditating and consciously releasing thoughts that had been bombarding her, she slowly began to recognize the sanctuary she’d created. Being there was soothing and exactly what she needed. She’d been carrying the entire weight of the situation on her shoulders, and to be free of it, if only for a moment, was blissful relief.

The next step was to identify the emotions she was feeling and reclaim the power she’d given them. With a little effort she managed to accomplish it, and the wave that washed over her was powerful.

Adele spent some time reminding herself of the truths she had come to know and believe—truths that Kate held sacred as well. She then deliberately moved up the emotional scale, letting anger serve its purpose as she thought again about Kate’s self-serving family. Moving past anger, she found a measure of relief in frustration and overwhelment4 before she finally caught a whiff of hope.

And hope felt euphoric! Compared to the depths from which she’d just emerged, she may as well have found eternal bliss. It was the movement itself, not the distance, that was the distinguishing factor, she realized. Moving into vibrational alignment with who she really was, was something she’d never tire of.

Hope allowed her to think of Kate and trust that a miracle could still happen. It reminded her that Gavin was in the picture now, and that there had to be a reason for the situation unfolding as it had. Hope also reminded her that her dear friend, though lying in a coma, was still creating her own reality, and nothing could happen that wasn’t of her own creation.

“GAVIN, HONEY, wake up.” Carol jostled his shoulder. “You’re dreaming.”

“Mom?” Gavin opened his eyes to familiar surroundings and his mother leaning over his bed.

“I heard you call out. Did you have a nightmare?”

Gavin sighed in relief. Ryan had been just a dream. He took a few minutes to focus before answering her. “I…I think I just got a message.”

“From Kate?” Carol asked, as if receiving messages in that manner was now commonplace.

“No, from Ryan.” Gavin had already told his mom about the young man. “He reminded me of something he said in prison, but I don’t know what it means.” He relayed Ryan’s words.

“That’s interesting. The prison is in your mind.” She paused, contemplating the words. “That’s in line with what Kate teaches about creating your own reality.”

“Kate!” Gavin looked at his mom with sudden awareness. “This is about Kate now! She’s in a prison of sorts. She created her experience…maybe she needs to be reminded that she can leave anytime she wants.”

“Do you really think it’s that simple?”

“Yes!” Gavin was sure he’d received the answer Kate needed. “If I could just remind her of that, maybe she’d find the power to come back.”

“Gavin, you and Kate have a powerful connection. You’ve talked to each other in a way that’s beyond my understanding. Maybe you could still reach her somehow...with your mind.”

“Maybe.”

After Carol left, he replayed Ryan’s message. He could still see the boy’s face clearly. Though merely a character in his dreamworld, the kid had profoundly impacted Gavin’s life, answering some of his deepest questions. Now in his own unique way the kid had helped him see Kate’s situation clearly. Gavin offered a silent thank-you, both to the messenger and for the message he believed Kate needed to hear.

If only I could talk to her,
he sighed.
She needs to hear this
.

He considered his mom’s suggestion. For some reason, Gavin hadn’t thought about trying to communicate with Kate in that way. Adele believed he could make a difference by being with Kate in person, and he’d been thinking from that perspective too. His mom was absolutely right. He and Kate had rendezvoused in another realm, and she was still there. That’s where he needed to reach her.

ADELE GOT UP early to go to the hospital. She wanted to spend time with Kate, talk to her, entice her to come back, but she was no longer feeling desperate. She’d found peace and whatever the outcome, she could always reclaim that.

Instead of pulling up a chair as she usually did, Adele sat on the edge of the bed, wanting to be as close as she could. She took Kate’s hand in both of hers, holding it tight. “Kate,” she began. “I love you, sweetie. I’m truly honored to be your friend. I’ve learned so much from you. I owe you so much…” Adele took a deep breath as she attempted to hold back her tears.

“Whatever happens today...” she continued with difficulty, “I believe you’re the one orchestrating it. But sweetie...I just have to say that if it’s possible, somehow...” she cried, “please come back. There’s so much you wanted to do with your life yet. And Gavin…” As she said the name, Adele felt the twitch again.

“Gavin loves you, sweetie. He’s your soul mate. He couldn’t be here, but he wanted to be. He wanted to be with you. If you just...wake up, you can be with him. You can be...together.” Adele couldn’t continue; the tears had their way, and she spent a few minutes weeping. They weren’t so much tears of sorrow as acknowledgment and appreciation for the dear friend Kathryn Harding had been to her.

“I was able to apply what we teach, Kate,” Adele sniffed, lovingly rubbing her friend’s hand. “I was having trouble for a little while. I was angry and sad…but this works; it’s such a powerful method. I found peace.

I know it’s going to be okay now. I have your love and your friendship and your amazing teaching, and they’ll always be mine to treasure.” She brought Kate’s hand to her lips and held it there as hot tears trickled onto the lily-white skin. “I love you, sweetie. I’ll always love you.”

Adele left the hospital before Kate’s family arrived. She couldn’t bear to be present when the machines were turned off. She wanted to find her peaceful inner place again and spend time there with cherished memories of her beloved friend.