A Dangerous Leap (13 page)

She absently looked around the room until it dawned on her that she hadn’t undressed there. “I think I should go home,” she said and walked out of his bedroom.

He threw back the covers and stalked after her. “If you want something bad enough, you’ll do whatever it takes to make it happen.”

Kelly’s expression blanked, then her mouth twisted sarcastically as she pulled her sweatpants on. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I just didn’t want it bad enough.”

How in the hell had things gone so wrong?

“Kelly, wait, don’t go. Look, stay, we’ll talk about this some other time when we’re not both so flipping stressed. I apologize, this was really crappy timing on my part.”

She picked up her sweatshirt and slipped it on over her head. “Yeah, you’re right.” She reached for her daypack then swore.

Ian saw her hand shaking and narrowed his eyes at her. She was really upset, and he didn’t think it was all about his unexpected proposal.

“I forgot. I don’t have my car. Could you take me home? Or maybe I can get a cab…”

He walked over to her and gently removed her pack from her hand. “Stay. I promise not to say anything about marriage, love, or family.” He lifted her face with a knuckle under her chin. “Heck, if you want, I’ll even throw in some hot sex. But no lovemaking—that’s verboten.”

She gave him a wobbly smile and quickly looked away. Her eyes were too bright, reminding him of their first meeting when he’d refused to go home with her. Dammit, he needed to find out what had happened to make her so afraid of commitment. And staying in one place.

* * *

Karl finished tying off his trawler in the transient’s slip. Andrew had tracked the female rescue swimmer to this marina and was below deck doing more electronic digging into her background.

Andrew appeared on the aft deck holding a folded paper in his raised hand. “Got it,” he said, his face alight with grim triumph. “Wait till you see who—or maybe I should say what—her brother is.”

Karl stepped onto the deck. “Perhaps we should discuss this in a more private location?” he suggested dryly.

Andrew grinned. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you’re going to want to get eyes out ASAP.”

Eyes? Andrew thought they needed to setup video surveillance? Just who the hell was Kelly Bishop’s brother?

* * *

“I’ve made such a mess out of this thing with Ian,” Kelly said and fell back onto the bed in her vee berth. He’d brought her home that morning, never once mentioning his proposal or love for her. She knew she’d hurt him last night, she’d seen it in his eyes.

Dang it, he deserved someone much better than her. She’d never be able to—

Caitlyn nudged Kelly’s knee. “Here’s your coffee,” she said, handing her the steaming mug.

Kelly sat up and took a careful sip. She’d refused breakfast at Ian’s, too intent on getting away from him. Once home she’d called Caitlyn over for company.

That was a first—she’d never had a real girlfriend before. One she could confide in. She’d never told Jenny any of her secrets. Or her dreams.

“So, what’s the problem? Is he being a jerk, or what?” Caitlyn climbed onto the platform bed and folded her long legs under her. She looked at Kelly expectantly.

“God, I wish,” Kelly said.

Caitlyn raised one thin eyebrow but said nothing.

“No, I don’t. Not really.” Kelly sighed and took another sip, trying to formulate the words in her mind first. Mizzen joined them on the bed, her loud purr a comfort to Kelly’s strung-out nerves.

“He thinks he’s in love with me,” she said and hid behind her coffee cup. It sounded outrageous to her. She came from a dysfunctional family where everyone put their careers first. While his was the very portrait of an old-fashioned family, complete with a stay-at-home mom.

Caitlyn snorted. “Well, duh. Of course he’s in love with you. By now the whole air station knows that.”

Startled, Kelly looked up and stared at her.

“Don’t look at me like I’m crazy. I heard all about his reaction when I got back last night. A flight line guy said Tank looked like he was going to deck him if he didn’t keep it together.” She grinned at Kelly like it was a cool thing.

“What’s wrong? Oh shoot, don’t tell me. You don’t feel the same way.” Caitlyn reached out and patted Kelly’s knee.

“No, maybe, oh hell, I don’t know,” she wailed, feeling more confused than ever. She set her coffee mug down and dropped back onto the mattress. “I don’t, well, I don’t think I’m capable of loving someone.” Jeez, didn’t that sound pathetic? The truth was, to survive so many moves growing up, she’d learned not to get attached, to never make commitments she knew she couldn’t keep. After a while, she’d discovered walking away was much easier than staying behind. She stared out the overhead hatch at the blue sky above.

Her husband’s leaving had certainly confirmed that belief.

“Kelly-girl, that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard you say. Let me guess. You fell in love with a guy in high school, gave yourself to him then he ditched you for the tall blonde. You’ve never recovered and joined the Coast Guard to what, avoid men?”

Her hoot of laughter made Kelly smile. “No, I was a bigger idiot than that.”

Caitlyn’s expression sobered. “Who was he then?”

Kelly rolled to her side and propped her head up on her hand. “I thought I was in love, now I’m not so sure it wasn’t gratitude.”

Her friend settled back against the padded boat wall and motioned with her hand. “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll tell you about my bastard, then you can tell me all about yours. Okay?”

Kelly pulled Mizzen to her side and stroked her soft fur. Maybe it was time to talk about what happened. She eyed Caitlyn. Why not make it with her very first best friend?

“Deal.”

Forty minutes and another pot of coffee later, and Kelly’s sides hurt from laughing.

“Now I ask you, why would I want to continue seeing the idiot after he’d just told me he was going to marry the pedigreed debutante his mama picked out for him? The bastard just couldn’t understand why I had a problem with that. Okay, I’ve spilled my sordid life to you, now it’s your turn. So, how old were you when you lost your virginity, and who was he? Inquiring minds want to know,” Caitlyn said with a wide grin.

Kelly covered her face with both hands. “God, I was such a loser.” She peeked between her fingers at Caitlyn. “I was twenty, he was almost thirty, and it was on our wedding night.”

“Uh-oh, from that delivery I’m guessing it wasn’t a pleasant experience,” Caitlyn said with a grimace.

Kelly dropped her hands to her lap where Miz was curled up. “More like wham-bam, not even a thank-you-ma’am. He never even realized it was my first time.” Not that he would have done anything differently. Nope, Peter thought only about his own needs. If she didn’t enjoy it, well that was just her tough luck.

Caitlyn’s look of outrage warmed Kelly. It was nice to know someone cared. She looked down as she stroked Mizzen. Did she really think Ian didn’t care?

“Did you love this jerk?”

Kelly looked up. “No, not at the time—maybe never, but I thought I did later on.”

“Wait a minute, you lost me. If you didn’t love him, and he was that insensitive, why did you marry him?” she asked, her forehead furrowed.

“Because of the baby.”

Cait’s eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. “But you said you were a virgin, I don’t—”

“No, not my baby. Wait, we need to back up. I’m warning you, it’s going to sound like the plot of a really bad movie, or a soap opera. Here’s the short, bitter version.

“Peter married my college roommate Jenny because he’d gotten her pregnant. She died giving birth. Their baby was born with multiple birth defects, he freaked, and begged me to marry him to take care of her. End of story.”

Except for all the heartbreaking days and nights in the hospital. The numbing rage she’d lived with after her adopted daughter’s death had been so emotionally destructive she didn’t know if she’d ever recover.

“W-what happened to the baby?” Caitlyn asked softly, her blue eyes tearing up.

“She died. Two days after the funeral I came home to an empty house with papers to sign and a note on the counter.” She saw no reason to mention her last meeting with Peter—the one where she made a fool of herself begging him not to leave her. Kelly took a deep breath, surprised to find her usual anger didn’t materialize.

She ignored Caitlyn’s sputter of outrage. “I packed my duffel, got a place to live and went to work. Two months later I was walking through a department store’s TV section and saw a special about Coast Guard rescue swimmers. When it finished, I found a recruiter and the rest, as they say, is history.”

Still no anger or bitterness assailed her. Had her heart finally healed? If so, maybe she really could love someone like Ian.

Couldn’t she?

* * *

Matt walked toward the cabin cruiser his sister called home. He wasn’t sure why it surprised him when he’d learned she was living on the Admiral’s boat. He’d kept in touch with his father’s friend because it was a good career move. Kelly probably did it as a way to retain a part of their dad.

Matt and his dad had always been close, especially once he knew Matt wanted to join the Navy. Kelly, on the other hand, had become their dad’s constant shadow after their mother’s death. Then when their dad died, Matt had been so caught up in his SEAL duties, he hadn’t really given Kelly much thought other than to see that she had a place to stay and someone to watch over her.

He’d been a total ass. She would have been devastated; feeling like her world had just imploded. Which surely explained why she’d ended up married to that dick-weed who’d walked out on her when she’d needed him most.

Kind of like he had.

The
Sea Dawg
swayed between its mooring lines and Matt had the sudden urge to rub the sweat off his hands. Except he was holding a pizza box and a six-pack of beer.

Jesus, you’d think he was about to corner
el Cerdo
on his own turf. He’d just lifted his foot to step onto the aft deck when the hatch opened and a spectacular redhead emerged from the cabin.

“Well, well, what have we here?” she asked while giving him a flirtatious once over. “Kelly, did you send out for pizza?”

Matt stepped up and over the railing and grinned at the redhead. If his sister had friends like Red, maybe he’d start visiting regularly.

“Don’t bother Cait, he’s career Navy. And not particularly dependable,” Kelly said as she popped into view behind the taller woman.

He hadn’t seen Kelly in about five years, but here she was looking all grown up. And so much like their mother he had to blink to clear the sense of déjà vu it created. She was a bit taller, and more athletic in build, but they could have been sisters. Did she see it when she looked in the mirror, or had she been too young to remember the kinds of details Matt saw so readily?

Red tsked and shook her head with a look of sad disdain. “Sorry, sailor, military personnel are off limits.” She turned back to Kelly. “Want me to stay and referee?”

Despite her teasing tone, Matt would have sworn the two women communicated a wealth of information with a single, silent look. Suddenly he felt like the bad guy. He held up the pizza box and beer. “I brought lunch.” He added a grin to see if it softened her any.

Kelly glanced at him with a tight smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “No Cait, I’ll be fine. I’ll see you in a couple of days,” she said as she followed Red to the transom door.

Red looked at Matt like he was a lowly plebe at a base commander’s ball.

After Red left, Kelly turned to him with a stoic expression and crossed her arms over her chest. “Guess you heard about the drug bust, huh?”

Kelly’s body language was pretty damn clear. He lowered the pizza box and beer. “If you want me to leave, I will. But I hope you’ll let me stay. I think it’s way past time I got to know my little sister.”

* * *

Kelly led the way down the cabin steps, her mind reeling from Matt’s sudden appearance. Part of her had wanted to run into his arms and burst into tears. The other, more cautious part, wanted him to prove he was serious about being a part of her life.

She had no appetite, but she directed him to the dinette table. “Sit, I’ll get some paper plates and napkins.” Her hands shook as she dug out the needed items. Somehow it was more nerve racking than being around a complete stranger.

“I remember Dad and the Admiral taking me out on this boat when we came back to the States to check out colleges,” Matt said as he set the pizza and beer down. He stuck his hands in the pockets of his cargo shorts and looked around the galley before he focused his brown eyes on her.

“Hell, Kelly, I know I’ve been a lousy brother. I didn’t mean to be, but between the age difference and being on different continents for most of our lives, it was just easier to pretend it was okay. It wasn’t. It isn’t.”

He rubbed his knuckles across his jaw in a gesture that mirrored their dad’s. The sound of his whiskers rubbing against his hand had fascinated her—the sound of it now filled her eyes and caused her sinuses to burn.

“Jesus, when I heard you were on the crew that responded to the DC-3’s mayday I about lost it. Then when I heard there had been shots fired, I thought I would be too late,”

Kelly blindly reached for him, her vision blurred by ten years’ worth of tears. He folded her into his rock-hard arms. “It’s not too late,” she whispered against his shoulder. She closed her eyes tightly, squeezing out a fresh wave of tears. It couldn’t be too late.

He awkwardly patted her back and Kelly sputtered out a laugh before pushing away from him. “It’s okay, I’m not going to fall apart,” she said as she swiped her eyes with the heels of each hand. “Why don’t you open me a beer? I think we could both use a drink about now.”

“Good, then you can tell me about that bodacious redhead.”

Kelly rolled her eyes at Matt. “What, you’re channeling
An Officer and a Gentleman
? Bodacious? Seriously? You were like three years old when that movie came out.”

She dropped onto the cushioned bench seat and reached for the beer he’d opened. “Anyway, Caitlyn is totally off limits. She refuses to date anyone in the military. She seems to have a thing for doctors, so you are not even a blip on her radar.”