A Dark-Adapted Eye (14 page)

My hand poised to open the door, I fixed Rade with a baleful glare. “My brother’s been loo
king for you for years,” I said.

“I’m not easy to find.”

“When he gets home I’m going to send him after you. He’ll kill you.”

“I don’t fear death.”

“Well, that’s good for you,” I said bitterly, annoyed at his perpetual lack of emotion. “Plenty of people
do
fear it. They’ve always feared it, but it’s worse now, because of you. Now they fear living, too.”

“I won’t pretend to feel sympathy for humans, but I don’t deny my role in their fear.”

I was too angry and too tired to formulate a response. I shot out the car and slammed the door behind me, the sound echoing in the quiet neighborhood. It was a warm night, but I wrapped my arms tightly around myself as I walked quickly home, gasping unevenly in my effort not to cry.

ten

aphelio
n

: the point in the orbit of a planet or other celestial body where it is farthest from the sun

The front door squeaked when I opened it. I winced at the sound and slipped into the dark living room. I had to talk to Les, but I didn’t want him to see me sneaking in like a criminal after midnight. With any luck I could make it to my room before running into him. We could talk in the morning after I’d had a shower and washed away my grimy feeling.

“Asha. Where have you been?”

Les’s voice was both stern and worried. So much for my stealth. He was sitting at the dining table, just as he had been when I left. Waiting for me. Now he rose from his chair, flicking on the light above him, and faced me with an earnest glare. I stopped next to the recliner, ashamed and speechless.

You wouldn’t like the truth
, I thought. Surreptitiously I wiped at the corners of my eyes, not wanting him to know I’d been near to tears.

He sighed. “It’s really none of my business where you were, but in light of the situation, I think you shouldn’t have stayed out so late.”

“I’m sorry.”

Shaking his head, he put his hands on his hips and looked away from me. He was trying not to show it, but I could tell he was upset, more so than I’d ever seen him. And I was responsible for making him feel that way. I began to feel the heat of tears in my eyes once more. He deserved the truth. He did, more than anyone.

I sucked in a deep, shaky breath. “Les. I wasn’t out with Criseyde.”

His jaw worked. “I know. I saw you walk down the block.”

So he hadn’t seen me get in Rade’s car, but he knew I hadn’t gone with Cris. She would have parked right out front.

“Where did you go?” I asked abruptly. “Last night, after dinner.”

For a moment he just looked at me, debating whether to answer my question or continue talking about the issue at hand. He decided on the former. “To see Sarai.”

Stung, I frowned. “Why?”

Les shook his head again, agitated. “She wanted to talk. About the break up. Just normal stuff.”

“Why
did
you break up?” I asked curiously.

“It’s not important.”

He dropped his eyes and shifted his weight. I could tell he wasn’t going to say any more on the matter. I wasn’t even sure what had made me ask the question, other than to deflect his attention and buy a bit of time. As if knowing why he’d broken up with his latest girlfriend would benefit me somehow.

“You want to tell me where you went?” he asked.

I put on a brave but wavering smile. “I was . . .”

I swallowed nervously. This was hard. Why was this so hard? He watched me from beneath lowered brows and I felt helpless and deceitful, overcome with a hot feeling of dread. But I would have to tell him sooner or later.

“He’s helping me find Ivory,” I blurted.

“Who is?”

“He’s . . .” My breath hitched. “Oh my god, Les, I’m so sorry.”

“Asha,” he said, his voice lowering with concern. He took a slow step toward me. “What’s going on?”

“The vampire who bit me,” I began haltingly. “His name is Rade. I found him by accident, when Criseyde and I went to Shiver.”

His expression didn’t change, but his voice was icy. “And when did he offer to help you find Ivory?”

“I went to his apartment,” I admitted, cringing. “But he didn’t offer help. I asked for it. I didn’t want to do it,” I continued in a rush when Les fixed me with a dubious stare. “I thought it was the only way to help Ivory. Your sources didn’t give you any information, so . . .”

“Did
you
get information then?”

“Well . . . no. Not really. Other than that he’s alive.” At his silence I shifted awkwardly. “We’re supposed to get more information later,” I added. “Soon. Tomorrow night.”

Les shook his head. “I don’t want to tell you what to do, but you’re not going back out with a vampire.”

“I know it’s not a good idea.”

“Not even close.”

An uncomfortable silence stretched between us. I waited nervously as he stared at me, pale green eyes intense and shadowed. His gaze sent a pleasant shiver through me but I braced myself for a lecture like Ivory might have given me.

“We’ll talk later.” It was all he said before leaving the room.

For a moment I just stood there at a loss. On one hand I felt flattered at his protective att
itude. It meant he cared for me, at least in some capacity. On the other hand that same attitude made me bristle. For too long someone had been hovering at my shoulder, telling me what I should and shouldn’t do in order to stay safe. I wanted to make my own decisions and mistakes for a change. I wanted to decide for myself whether or not something was too dangerous to do.

He’s just looking out for me
, I reminded myself.
The way Ivory did.

I was too exhausted to think about it anymore. Defeated and agitated, I slunk down the hall to my room, wishing that conversation had never happened.

~

My eyes felt heavy the next morning, my limbs slow and clumsy as I made the coffee. Les had slept on my floor again last night, but instead of comforting me his presence had kept me awake. I could hear him now in the shower and I let myself imagine him for a moment, water sliding down his pale skin, steam rising around him. The mental picture gave me a pleasant little buzz.

The coffee had just finished when Criseyde let herself in the front door. Her white-streaked hair was tied back in a neat ponytail, bangs perfectly swooped to one side.

“How did it go?” she asked. “I see you’re not dead.”

“Thanks for noticing.” I smiled grimly and reached for my mug. “It was weird. And scary.”

“Well, yeah. What did you find out? Can I have some coffee?”

I grabbed another mug and handed it to her. “I didn’t find out anything. The whole night was just wasted. And it was so dangerous, so—so
stupid
. I can’t believe I even did it.” I sighed and glanced down the hall, but Les was still in the bathroom. “It made me feel so awful.”

“So what
happened
? Where did you go?”

“I’ll tell you later,” I said meaningfully, jerking my head toward the hall. “I was supposed to go out again tonight, but Les sort of found out about it and said I’m not.”

“So protective.” Cris looked up from pouring milk and waggled her eyebrows. “And you’re going to let him tell you what to do?”

I shrugged. Rade was coming to get me no matter what I decided, but after my encounter with Les, I felt unsure about whether I would go with him.

Les emerged from the shower and joined us in the kitchen. His light brown hair was dark with water and his white t-shirt molded to his still damp skin. His jeans were faded and holey, worn soft enough to cling to him. My stomach fluttered at the sight of him as he helped himself to a cup of black coffee. Criseyde turned to me and mouthed a silent
wow
behind his back. He finished pouring his coffee and glanced at her, but she was the sudden picture of innocence.

“Let’s talk,” he said, leading the way into the living room.

Cris and I sat together on the couch and he opted to stand. He began to pace a little.

“What’s this about?” Cris asked brightly, bouncing a little on the cushion beneath her like an overeager child. I had serious doubts about her need for caffeine.

“There’s a party tomorrow,” Les said, ignoring her. “The guy having it—Ethan—is a pretty notorious vampire hater. He doesn’t go out hunting vampires, but he spends a lot of time figuring out ways to kill them.”

“So you want to mingle?” I asked.

“It’s the only other place I can think of where we might get a lead on Ivory.”

“But it’s tomorrow,” I said. “If I don’t go out with Rade tonight, that’s one night lost. That’s one night further from getting Ivory.”

“I’d like to find him as soon as we can too, but I don’t want you seeing that vampire again. Neither would Ivory.”

“I didn’t want to,” I protested, slightly distressed. “It’s just—”

“I know, Asha,” Les said gently.

“You don’t know how horrible I felt about doing it, though. I spent a lot of time agonizing over what you or Ivory would think of me if you knew.” My face reddened at the memory of our conversation last night. Sneaking inside and having him catch me had made me feel so low.

“Do you know why I asked you to help us catch Lucinda?”

I shrugged. “Because you didn’t want to ask a stranger to put her life on the line?”

“No. Ivory and I could have gone after her on our own. I wouldn’t have asked anyone but you. It wasn’t me asking you to sacrifice yourself—it was me asking you to help because I knew you could. I knew you were capable and that you would want to stop other girls from getting killed. But this isn’t like that. This thing with your vampire isn’t helping anyone, and it’s only going to hurt
you
.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, but I felt, surprisingly, a tentative sense of relief. Les thought he understood—he was trying, anyway. He turned away and took a drink of coffee. I held my own warm mug between my hands, wanting a drink but unable to make myself move. He thought he understood, but he didn’t. Even I didn’t.

The silence stretched on until Cris said, “So. This party.”

“You’re not invited,” Les said.

“I’m
always
invited to parties,” she corrected.

“Don’t you have work?” I asked.

“Nope! I’m off for three days. I cashed in a few favors. Good thing, too. I’d hate to miss a party.”

Les rolled his eyes. “You’d better not cause any trouble.”

“Who, me?” Cris grinned. “This is going to be so much fun!”

“It’s not about fun.”

“It never is, with you,” she muttered. She smirked at me, then quickly recovered. “Asha, we should go shopping for outfits.”

I caught Les’s eye for a moment, but he turned away without expression. “Okay. Let’s go right now.”

We spent the afternoon at the mall. Criseyde piled outfits into my arms in each store and we tried on every single one, which wasn’t exactly my idea of an afternoon well spent. But I was glad to get out of the house and do something that didn’t involve vampires. Afterwards we lingered in the food court over bowls of white rice and orange chicken, our purchases in sacks beside us. She’d bought a hot pink dress with ruffles. Mine was ice blue with a green ribbon at the waist.

“I love a good deal,” she said with satisfaction.

After the mall, we wound her car idly through town. I told her a little about my night, leaving out the worst details. She reacted with righteous offense, then changed the subject to gossip about her coworkers. The sun sank in the sky, staining it orange.

“We’d better get back,” I said. “I don’t want Les to start lecturing me like Ivory did. Does.”

“Oh, come on. You’d take a lecture from him any day. Especially if it ended with him teaching you a
lesson
.” She laughed lasciviously.

I smirked. “Well. Maybe. Pervert.”

“Oh, you noticed?”

Fortunately, Les was not waiting with a lecture ready. His bedroom door was closed and I could hear the faint thump of music. Cris raised her hand as if to knock but I swatted her arm down, eyes wide in mock warning.

“He better not have a girl in there,” she said when we reached my room.

“What are you going to do, beat her up for me?”

“If necessary. Hey, have you ever thought of bringing a guy here just to make Les jealous? I bet he would be.”

“Um . . . no.”

“Just an idea.”

Dropping my bag on the floor by the closet, I flopped on the bed and pulled a pillow over my head. “He went to talk to Sarai the other night. I hope they’re not getting back together.”

“I can see his appeal,” Cris said. “He’s a sexy, unattainable bad boy. What girl hasn’t fallen for that at least once? And you know I’m endlessly patient when it comes to this secret love of yours, but really, Ash, you should just go for it.”

“You’re not supposed to be talking about him here, you know. What if he hears you?”

“When have I ever done what I’m supposed to do?”

I made an incoherent sound into the mattress. Cris smacked my foot and grabbed the bag I had tossed carelessly to the floor. She slid the closet open and scraped some hangers aside to make space.

“You know, this dress may have been on sale, but you can’t just leave it lying on the floor. It deserves a special place in your closet because it’s pretty.”

“I didn’t even need a new dress. I like jeans better. Why do I always let you talk me into these things?”

“How would you ever have any fun if I didn’t? I’ll hang mine up too. Then I can come over tomorrow and we’ll get ready together. Do you want me to bring some makeup? I have this lipstick that would look perfect on you . . .”