A Dark-Adapted Eye (16 page)

“Say it, Ash.”

I widened my eyes at him, both exasperated and embarrassed. He just waited with a sort of lazy grin on his lips, one arm hooked around my leg, fingers drifting softly but electrically up and down the inner curve of my thigh. He looked as if he could easily wait forever for me to finish my thought. But he’d done this a lot, so maybe his patience was greater than mine at this particular moment.

“You’re enjoying this,” I said, tortured.

“Oh, yeah.”

“Okay.” I exhaled in surrender. “I need
you
, now.”

Briefly closing his eyes, he made a low sound of satisfaction and turned to brush his lips once more across my thigh, his fluttering breath sending waves of heat through me. “I need you, too,” he said with a low, rough sigh.

Then he moved my legs off his shoulders and balanced himself over me. I made a sound between a gasp and a sigh as he pushed into me. I hooked my legs around the back of his, wanting him closer, deeper. I curved up into him and his body arched along mine, forehead down in the crook of my shoulder, his breath warming my collarbone. I turned my lips to his neck and raked my teeth against his skin, shuddering. He released a grunting sigh and I went rigid with a heat both startling and intense, and he made it seem to last forever.

After, we lay next to each other, his left arm supporting my head. Heavy-lidded, he ran a few strands of my hair idly between his fingers. I watched the rise and fall of his chest.

“You just . . .” I said breathlessly. “That just . . . It was . . .”

“Ash,” he said with fondness, “that’s just the beginning.”

“Oh god.”

“I’ve been holding on to that for three years. Ever since the day we heard about your mom. I saw something in you that day, some kind of aggression I never noticed before. That was the day I . . .” He trailed off and looked at me, his eyes oddly shy. “Last night, when I woke up and saw you leaning over me, I just . . . I didn’t think. But I’d spent so long fighting what I wanted I thought I’d made a mistake.”

My brow knit as unwelcome thoughts of all the other girls who’d lain in this narrow bed with him passed through my mind. I’d felt so wistful and disappointed year after year, always wanting him to look at me, to
see
me, to speak to me in friendlier tones. All along—for three years, anyway—he’d been hiding feelings for me, just as I had from him.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“You’re three years younger than me. It wouldn’t have been appropriate . . .” I felt his faint shrug. “I always told myself it was better if we were never together. You’re Ivory’s little sister, you would have distracted me from my job, I didn’t want to take advantage of you.”

“You wouldn’t have.”

“You may not think so, but I didn’t see it that way. The age gap isn’t a big deal now, but it was when you were sixteen.”

“What about your girlfriends?” The question left a bitter taste on my tongue.

“They were just . . . distractions. None of them ever meant anything to me, even the ones before I  . . . fell for you. None of them fit me. I was always waiting for one who would. I always expected someone would make me feel . . . anything. But you’re the only one who ever did.”

I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of satisfaction. “I’ve always had a crush on you.”

“I know.”

I tilted my face up to look at him. “What?”

His lips curved into a knowing yet diffident smile. “You thought no one could tell? I’ve always known. Practically since the day we met. It’s in the way you look at me. The careful way you say my name.”

He squeezed me against him. This was the worst period in my life, yet I felt so happy it was almost ridiculous.

The world wouldn’t stop for anything, I realized. Beyond Las Secas, people’s lives were continuing on as they always had. They didn’t have to consider vampires before making certain decisions.

But they had trapped us here, abandoned us, and we had let them. We had let time stop in our city. Vampires had been insinuating themselves into our lives for years, as I knew firsthand from having been bitten, but it had been only a year since the quarantine. How quickly had things sp
iraled out of control. Businesses shut down, houses and buildings abandoned. People dead or missing. People defected. In some parts of the city it was like a ghost town.

Most of us, I thought, lived in denial. We wanted to believe everything was fine and if it wasn’t fine, it would get better. People like Ivory and Les were determined to change our way of life, but to do so was nearly impossible without everyone’s cooperation.

Now that I finally had what I’d been dreaming of for years, it wasn’t enough. I wanted to see other places, live in unfamiliar cities. Criseyde wanted to go to Paris. I didn’t know what Les wanted, but once we got Ivory back, I was going to do everything I could to make sure he got it. Fear would no longer rule our lives. It was time for change.

No vampire, no person, would ever make a victim of me again.

twelve

conjunctio
n:
an event that occurs when two or more celestial objects appear close together in the sky

I’d spent the whole day without ever knowing my mom had been killed the night before.

She worked the evening shift, but it never even occurred to me to wonder why I hadn’t seen her that morning. I’d just assumed she’d gone to get her nails done before work, which was something she did regularly.

But Ivory, who’d been gone all day, sat me down on the couch that afternoon to inform me he’d just identified her body. She was dead.

“I think it’s important you know something,” he said. “Her death wasn’t the result of just any old robbery, or even a random shooting. Mom was killed by vampires.”

“What?” I said. My eyes flicked to Les, who loitered at the edge of the room, but he was pointedly minding his own business. His girlfriend Kissy was using the bathroom, respectfully keeping her distance from our private family conversation. I resented that she was even here.

“I know how it sounds,” my brother said. “I know it seems impossible vampires could exist. But they do, Ash.”

“How do you know?”

He hesitated for a second. “That’s not important.”

I had no response for his claim that vampires had killed our mother. How did he know? Had the coroner or whoever told him? That didn’t seem likely, so I assumed Ivory had just deduced this, somehow, on his own.

No matter how she was killed, though, nothing changed the fact that Mom was dead. I d
ecided not to press the issue.

“Will we keep living here?” I asked after a moment.

“What do you mean?”

“How are we going to pay for the house? Will I have to get an after school job?”

“Oh, no, the house is nearly paid for. Mom was actually pretty smart with our finances. Plus Les is going to move in here to help us out.”

I looked at him again. He leaned against the wall, arms crossed over the chest of his white t-shirt. His eyes, solemn just now, met mine. One side of his mouth lifted in a rueful smile.

“Les? I thought
we
were moving in together?”

We all turned to look at the entrance to the hallway. Kissy, with her wild mane of nutmeg hair, stood there, looking on the verge of tears.

“Ah . . .” Les said uncomfortably. “We can talk about that later, all right?”

“But you
said
. You
said
we could move in together!”

“Kiss, this isn’t the time—”

She gasped suddenly. “I could move in here too!” she cried happily. “It’s the perfect solution! What do you think?”

Kissy wasn’t as bad as some of Les’s previous girlfriends had been, it pained me to admit. She usually ignored me like all the rest, but she’d deigned to throw me a kind smile a time or two. She was, however, quite dramatic and prone to tears at any given moment. And at
this
moment, feeling raw from hearing Ivory’s news and confused about the vampire thing, I was in no mood for her histrionics.

“You can’t move in here.”

She blinked, looking both distressed and confused. “What? I don’t . . .”

“I can’t believe you would even bring it up at a time like this,” I continued, my ears burning. “My mom just died. Do you think anyone here gives a crap about where you want to live? You shouldn’t even be here right now.”

“Les!”

He shook his head at her plea. “Sorry, Kiss. She’s right. You can’t move in here, and I think it’s time for you to go.”

For a moment Kissy looked just plain undecided. Then, as expected, she burst into tears. She ran out the front door, sobbing hysterically.

“Damn it,” Les muttered. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let her come. I shouldn’t . . .”

He followed Kissy without finishing his thoughts.

“That,” Ivory said, “was kind of awesome, Ash.”

My hands shook with adrenaline. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean . . .”

“You’re fine. You know how she is. We wouldn’t even have brought her along, but she was with us already and I didn’t even think to drop her off first. So it’s my fault, not his, but I know he feels bad about what just happened.” He paused. “And he never said he’d move in with her.”

“Why is he with her?”

“Guys will put up with a lot if they’re getting laid.” Ivory looked at me, suddenly realizing what he’d said. His cheeks flushed. “Ah, sorry. Inappropriate.”

That was the day, according to Les, he’d started to feel something other than a vague sort of affection for me, his best friend’s little sister. And he’d run from those feelings, ignored them, though he’d tried to find something similar in numerous other girls. He’d always failed.

Les broke up with Kissy that day, as he’d broken up with all his girlfriends as soon as he got tired of them or they started expecting too much. She was far from the last girl he ever dated, of course. He was so good at hiding his thoughts, so good at being emotionally unavailable, I’d never had any inkling he felt anything for me.

I supposed not knowing had made the past hour that much better. His words had taken me by total surprise and I was still reeling with dumb glee.

We headed back to his dad’s house, walking hand in hand despite the heat making our palms sweat. I didn’t care. This thing between us was new and wonderful and I’d have put up with just about anything to keep it. I couldn’t stop smiling.

“So what, exactly, happened to the table?” I asked.

“I tossed a vampire onto it,” Les replied casually. “I went to stab him, but that’s when the t
able broke, so I missed. And then he ran off.”

“And you just do that sort of thing all the time, I suppose.”

“More than you’d think.”

“Well. That table was pretty old.” I nudged his arm with my shoulder. “We’re still going to the party? Cris said it was at four.”

“Yeah. If we can’t find out anything tonight, we may have to do something more . . . drastic.”

Like allow a vampire escort me through the city at night. Neither of us mentioned it, but it was the most
drastic thing I could think of.

“We’ll find something out,” I assured him, smiling.

He leaned down and kissed me.

Cris was just putting some finishing touches on her look when I appeared at the bathroom door. “I went and got my shower stuff,” I said, leaning on the doorframe. “Les came to look at the house while I was there. It’s pretty bad.”

“At least you can stay here until you get it fixed. I don’t think you and Les
and
the vampire girl would all fit in my apartment.”

“Something . . . happened.”

“What?” She lowered her eyelids to inspect her eyeliner in the mirror.

“Oh, nothing. Just Les finally realized his burning need for me and ravished me in a fit of uncontrollable desire.”

Her cat-green eyes snapped to my face. “No. Way.”

I giggled softly, nodding, and felt my stomach tumbling all over again. Les was in the kitchen calling various companies to arrange for the house repairs, but I slipped inside the bat
hroom and shut the door so he wouldn’t hear. My face split into a grin before I even started telling Cris anything. The memory of him. The bright reality of him and me together. How was I ever going to function in the world if all I could think about was how my lips had touched his?

In a whisper I shared only the basic details before getting myself ready for the party. Criseyde was nearly as ecstatic as I was and I practically had to force her out of the bathroom so I could shower. Under the hot water, steam rising around me, I hugged myself tightly, overcome with emotion. I pressed the heels of my hands against my closed eyes and shook once or twice with silent, euphoric sobs. If Les knew how much he meant to me, how much today had meant to me, he would probably freak the hell out.

“Act normal,” I ordered my blurred, streamed reflection when I stepped out of the shower. “Not freakish.”

I borrowed Criseyde’s hair dryer and put on a little bit of makeup. My dress was slightly wrinkled, but I doubted anyone would notice or care. I smoothed it out a little anyway, hoping to impress Les. I knew he didn’t care about my clothes, but the dress made me feel pretty and I wanted him to know it.

He only gave me a quick, small smile when I walked out to meet everyone in the living room, however. I felt a little disappointed, but Cris gave me a stealthy eyebrow waggle. Waving her off with a grin, I listened as Les explained to Aleskie why she couldn’t come with us to the party.

“There’ll be a lot of people there who hate vampires with a passion,” he said. “It’s too risky for you.”

“I could wait in the car.”

For a moment he considered her suggestion, then shook his head. “Just wait for us back here. It’s easier that way. We won’t be gone long.”

“Easier for you,” Aleskie muttered.

“We should go,” Les said, turning away from her. “The sooner we get out of there, the be
tter.”

“I haven’t been to a party in forever!” Cris exclaimed, dancing her way out the door.

I started to follow her but Les grabbed my hand and pulled me back, settling my body against his. He leaned his head down so our foreheads touched. I could feel his soft breath on my lips. The vague worry I’d felt eased off at his attention and I knew I’d fretted for nothing. He’d never been overly demonstrative with his girlfriends in front of us, so why had I expected something different? It just wasn’t his style.

“I like you in that dress,” he said, his voice a low rumble.

“Thanks,” I sighed. Being so close to him did funny things to my pulse. “I like . . . you.”

His laugh was soft and warm. “Good to know.”

“I mean, you look good. But you always wear those white shirts.”

“Yeah, well, they’re cheap and easy.”

“And hot.”

He grinned. “Really?”

Aleskie made a long, drawn out sound of disgust. I’d forgotten she was there.

“Sorry,” I said, Les’s fingers tangling with mine. My heart soared. “We’re going.”

Criseyde was waiting impatiently in her car. “About time, lovebirds!” I just shook my head at her, but it finally felt good to have her tease me about Les. I was in love and didn’t care who knew it.

The party was just a short drive away, though too far to have walked. I’d never been to the neighborhood. It was newer than ours, the houses bigger and nicer, but it showed early signs of aging, like water-stained stucco and slightly unkempt yards. There were several cars parked in front of the house at the top of a cul-de-sac. Les instructed Cris to park as close to it as possible.

“There better be cute guys,” she said as we got out of the car.

“I’m sure you’ll find someone,” I assured her. “You always do.”

“
They
find
me
,” she corrected haughtily.

Feeling absurdly lighthearted given the circumstances, I strode into the party behind Criseyde, Les’s hand wrapped around mine.

“I have to find Ethan,” Les said. “I’ll be right back.” He brushed a kiss across my forehead and slipped off somewhere.

Blushing, quite pleased with myself and my new relationship, I leaned back against the wall to wait for him. I crossed my arms over my stomach and surveyed the party. The spacious living room was full of people I didn’t know, though it was hardly a crowd. Les had said this was a party full of vampire haters, but they all looked so ordinary, almost innocent. People laughed, shared drinks, danced to the moderately loud music, and even swam in the pool beyond the big picture windows. I hoped at least one of them could tell us something about Ivory.

Criseyde had wandered off on her own as soon as we’d walked in the door, and I spotted her on a loveseat across the room. She held a drink in one hand and appeared bored, though I knew that was just one of the tactics she employed to get guys to talk to her. Not that she needed ruses, but she liked them.

Sure enough, I watched a guy cautiously approach her. It took me a second to recognize Rhys from the café at Witcher Park. He sat down beside her and said something. Barely glancing at him, Cris made what appeared to be a snide comment. Rhys frowned, but didn’t get up. I me
ntally wished him the best of luck. He would need it.

“Are you enjoying yourself?”

I looked over to see a guy leaning against the wall a few feet from me. His messy black hair reached the base of his neck. He wore a worn, maroon velvet jacket over a ratty band shirt and had his hands shoved into the pockets of gray jeans. He looked a few years older than Les, maybe thirty or so.

My brow quirked. “I guess.”

“I don’t usually do parties.”

“Me neither.”

“What brings you here today?” the guy asked.

I wasn’t sure how to answer that since I felt it was probably better not to discuss the real re
ason for being here with a total stranger. “Uh . . . stuff.”