A Family to Come Home To (Saddle Falls) (15 page)

When Jesse had pulled a large box of fried chicken with all the fixings from the back seat of his car, they’d decided to have a picnic in the backyard.

Jesse had offered to set things up for their outdoor picnic, so Hannah went inside to give Riley a bath and change her into her pajamas, knowing her daughter was about to collapse.

Now, sitting on the blanket, under the warmth of the low setting sun, listening to her daughter recall her day, Hannah couldn’t help but be struck by how normal it all seemed.

So unbelievably normal.

Like a family, she thought. A real family. Oh, they’d been their own family, just the two of them, but adding Jesse, adding a man to the equation, seemed to change things substantially. And Hannah wasn’t sure how comfortable she was with the situation, especially knowing Jesse was leaving and Riley was growing more and more attached to him.

As was Hannah.

They were like a family, she thought again, trying to curb the deep pang of longing that had blossomed earlier today when she had watched Jesse and Riley leave together.

They’d looked like a father and daughter going out on an outing together. Something she’d always wanted but had never been able to give her daughter.

Watching Riley and the way she seemed to blossom under Jesse’s attention and affection made Hannah realize that as much as she’d tried to be both mother and father to her precious daughter, it just wasn’t possible.

Riley was desperately in need of male attention and affection. It was so obvious from the way she responded and reacted to Jesse, Hannah could scarcely believe she hadn’t been more aware of it before this.

Perhaps because until now all the Ryan men had filled in the gap and done a very good job of making Riley feel very much a part of their family. But it wasn’t until this very moment that Hannah realized how much her daughter had missed having a father of her own.

Hannah glanced away, unaware that Jesse was watching her intently. She had accepted full responsibility for being a single parent, but until now she hadn’t realized that perhaps her own pride and her own past was hurting her daughter.

“You all right, darlin’?” Jesse asked quietly, laying his hand over hers. With a forced smile, she turned to him, aware that Riley was sitting between them.

“Fine, Jesse.” She forced her smile wider. “Just fine.”

“You haven’t eaten much.” Cocking his head, he studied her, sliding a hand to her cheek. It was warm from the warmth of the sun. “Don’t you like fried chicken?” he asked in a tone of voice that made her laugh.

“You make it sound like not liking fried chicken is a national offense.”

He laughed, and the sound floated on the quiet air. “Darlin’, where I come from it is.” His eyebrows drew together. “If you’d like, I can run out and get you something else.”

She squeezed his hand, so warm and gentle under hers. “No thanks, Jesse. I love fried chicken actually.” She glanced at Riley who was busy munching on a chicken leg. Her daughter’s eyes were drooping. Riley was utterly exhausted. “I guess I’m just not very hungry.”

“Something troubling you?” he asked in concern, and she shook her head.

“No, not really.” Slowly, she withdrew her hand from his, knowing it would be easier to think if she wasn’t touching him.

“Well now, darlin’, there’s no. And then there’s not really,” he said with a wiggle of his eyebrows. “Seems to me they’re two different things.”

“Uncle Jesse?” Riley tugged on his shirt, interrupting their conversation. “Should we tell Mama about the surprise now?”

Hannah’s mother’s alarm went off and she lifted an eyebrow, encompassing both Jesse and her daughter with one glance.

“Surprise?” she asked with a bit of nervousness, making Jesse grin.

“You said we had to wait to tell Mama until she had a full stomach. Is she full now?” Riley asked as Jesse grabbed the little girl and tumbled her into his lap.

“I imagine she is,” Jesse said, bending to nuzzle Riley’s neck, which made her giggle.

“A full stomach?”
Hannah repeated in concern, pressing a hand to her forehead. “And exactly what kind of surprise would have to wait until I had a full stomach?” She was almost certain whatever it was, she didn’t want to know, not if the matching mischievous grins Jesse and Riley were wearing was any indication.

“Guess what, Mama?”

“Oh Lord,” Hannah muttered, hanging her head, feeling as if the other shoe—one Jesse had deliberately filled with cement—was about to drop. “What, darling?” she asked, lifting her head and forcing a smile.

“Ditka’s going to be a daddy.”

Hannah blinked. Several times. Then her confused gaze went from Riley to Jesse then back again. “This is what you had to tell me on a full stomach?” she asked in confusion. “That Timmy and Terry’s dog is going to be a father?”

“Not…exactly,” Jesse began slowly, sharing a look with Riley. They both started giggling, making Hannah even more nervous.

“Then what…
exactly?
” Hannah asked carefully, still looking from one to the other.

“Remember what you said, Mama? You said that we had to wait a while to talk about getting me a puppy and it’s been a while. A
real long
while,” Riley pointed out with a dramatic roll of her eyes. “So could I have one, Mama, huh? Please?” Riley looked at her expectantly, tongue caught between her missing front teeth, a look of pure pleading in her eyes.

Hannah merely groaned. “Is Ditka really having puppies?” she asked Jesse, who nodded his head slowly. “Traitor,” she muttered under her breath, making him laugh. He caught her with his free arm, dragging her close.

Off balance, she fell against him, felt the hard wall of his chest, the comfort of his arm, the warmth of his breath, and felt her heart speed up.

“Now, Hannah-Anna, don’t tell me you wouldn’t love to have a little puppy,” he whispered. He was so close, she could feel a shiver race over and down her neck, starting an ache low and deep in her belly. It annoyed her to know she responded so quickly, so readily to him. She thought she was immune to this kind of feminine frivolity. She was a mother with enormous responsibilities and shouldn’t be reacting like a schoolgirl in the throes of her first crush.

Still scowling, Hannah glanced up at him and nearly growled. “Jesse, if I wanted to walk or feed something during the night, I’d have had another baby.”

“Mama, can I have a brother or sister now, too?” Riley asked hopefully, her face gleaming with excitement, making Hannah groan again. She shot Jesse a lethal look. In spite of his hand in this ploy, he managed to look perfectly innocent.

Struggling free of him, Hannah straightened her clothes and tried to gather her composure. “Now, Riley, let’s take one thing at a time.” Hannah dragged her hands through her hair, trying to figure a way out of this. “Remember what I said about a baby brother or sister?” She spoke directly to her daughter, trying to ignore Jesse’s obvious amusement over how she was going to explain the facts of life—or rather
her
life—to her daughter.

Riley’s head bobbed and the corners of her mouth drooped in disappointment. “That we can’t have a baby brother or sister because we can’t stay home to take care of it and stuff, right?” Riley said with a heavy sigh.

“Is that the real reason, Hannah-Anna?” Jesse asked with a wiggle of his eyebrows, causing Hannah to whack him on the arm.

“I don’t need any help here, Jesse,” she said, giving him a look. “I think you’ve helped more than enough for one day.”

“Anytime, darlin’,” he said with a grin, giving a pretend yelp when she whacked him again, loving the way her eyes were sparkling. Her day off had obviously done her a world of good. He hadn’t seen her look this carefree or relaxed since he’d arrived. It made his heart ache to look at her, starting a strange longing deep inside, a longing he didn’t understand. But with all the other emotions swirling around inside, he didn’t worry too much about this one.

“Now, sweetheart.” Hannah took a breath as Riley snuggled deeper into Jesse’s lap, resting her head on his shoulder. “You know we can’t have a baby brother or sister for you,” Hannah said, expecting the same pout and plea she always got from her disappointed daughter.

“But what about a puppy, Mama?” Rubbing her tired eyes with a fist, Riley tried unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn. “Uncle Jesse said—”

“Uncle Jesse, again,” Hannah muttered, giving him another look. He merely grinned, reaching out to ruffle her hair. She tried to glare at him, but simply couldn’t manage it.

“But Mama, Uncle Jesse said we could leave my puppy at his house ’cuz it will be too little to leave its mommy. And then when it’s big enough, we could bring it home.”

“But Riley—”

“Hannah.” Jesse’s touch on her hand stopped her. “Natalie is home all day, every day with the twins. She offered to keep the puppy there until it’s weaned, and train it along with the others before you bring it home.” Jesse grinned that heartbreaking grin, the one she never seemed to be able to resist. “That way Riley will be able to see it every day when you go to work, spend time with it, play with it and get accustomed to taking care of it.”

“I’ll take care of it. Honest, Mama.” Riley was on her knees, hands pressed together as if in prayer, ready to beg. “Please, Mama? Pul-lease?”

“Riley, wait.” She held up her hand and tried to sort out her thoughts. “Let me talk to Uncle Jesse for a minute.” Stunned by the generosity of Natalie’s offer, Hannah could only stare at him. “I can’t believe Natalie made such a generous offer. Jesse, that’s not really fair to her. I mean I have a lot of responsibility, but she has two sets of twins to take care of as well as a husband, two dogs and an assortment of other pets.”

Jesse shrugged his massive shoulders. “That’s what I said. But Natalie merely laughed and said she’d be glad to do it just to know she’d have a home for at least one of the pups.”

“So can I have a puppy, Mama? Please?” Riley reached out and hooked an arm around Hannah’s neck. “I promise I’ll take care of it.”

“It will be a good way to teach her responsibility, Hannah, and it will also keep her company. I think it would be wonderful for her.”

With two pairs of pleading eyes on hers, Hannah felt her resolve cave in. Torn, she thought of every single reason why having a new puppy was not only not practical but downright illogical. She barely had enough time to take care of all of her responsibilities now. Where on earth would she find the time to take care of a puppy as well? She hadn’t a clue. She was about to decline, to go into a lengthy explanation of all the reasons why it just wasn’t feasible, but then she looked at her daughter’s face. And her resolve faltered as her heart melted.

“I know I’m going to regret this,” she muttered, giving Jesse another look.

“I can have it?” Riley turned to Jesse, her eyes sparkling in excitement. “Does that mean I can have one?”

“It does indeed, darlin’.” Jesse almost fell backward as Riley threw herself at him, winding her arms around his neck and bouncing up and down.

“Thank you, Uncle Jesse. Thank you.” She planted wet, sloppy kisses all over his face. “Thank you.”

“Hey, what about me?” Hannah asked with a grin. “Don’t I get any kisses or any thanks?”

Riley lunged at her, draping herself over her mother and hugging her tight. “Thank you, Mama.” She planted wet kisses all over Hannah’s face as well. “Thank you, thank you. I promise I’ll take good care of it. Honest.”

Hannah nodded, knowing that a five-year-old’s promises were about as good as the time it took to say them. She sighed. So she’d find some extra time somewhere to take care of the puppy. It was worth it if it made her daughter this happy.

“Okay, now that we’ve got that settled.” Hannah drew back and looked at her child. “Sweetheart, I want you to remember this is a real living creature with feelings and needs. He’s a baby really and he’ll need you to take care of him. He’ll be depending on you for everything. His food. His safety. His well-being.”

“Like you take care of me, Mama?”

Hannah grinned. “Yes, sweetheart, like I take care of you.” She pressed a kiss to her daughter’s freckled nose. “It’s a very big responsibility, honey.”

“I know, Mama, and I could do it. I’m big enough. Honest.”

“I’m sure you will.” Hannah sighed, wondering how on earth one man and a five-year-old had bushwhacked her. She didn’t know, but looking at the joy on her daughter’s face, it really didn’t matter. “Now, you have a very big day tomorrow, young lady—”

“Tomorrow’s my first day of school, Uncle Jesse.”

“Yes, darlin’, I know.”

“And I get to ride on a bus and everything.” Riley bit her lower lip and glanced away. “But I’m not afraid.”

Jesse didn’t have to hear the waver in Riley’s voice to know she was terrified. “’Course you’re not, darlin’,” Jesse said, scooping her into his arms and planting her on his hip as he stood up. “There’s nothing to be afraid of.” He jiggled her as he started walking toward the back door with her. “You’re going to learn so many new and fun things, meet so many new friends. When you come home you can tell your mama and me all about your day, how does that sound?”

Riley grinned, winding her arm around Jesse and laying her head down on his shoulder. “Uncle Jesse, I’ll tell you everything.” Riley shoved her glasses up. “And maybe I could even draw you a picture.”

“Why, that would be wonderful, darlin’. Just wonderful.”

“Uncle Jesse, will you come tuck me in?”

“Sure, darlin’.” He glanced back at Hannah. “You coming?”

Hannah followed, listening, watching, her heart caught in her throat. Jesse had said he’d be here tomorrow when Riley came home from school.

And her daughter was eagerly looking forward to it, as was she, Hannah realized. But Jesse wasn’t always going to be there when Riley came home from school. She knew that. But looking at her little girl’s face, so open, so filled with love, Hannah realized that her daughter didn’t.

And when that day came, when Jesse wasn’t there when Riley came home, when Jesse was back home in Texas, what would happen to Riley and the love and adoration she’d so freely and openly given to Jesse?