A Father In The Making (13 page)

Mia pressed her lips together, and though she gave him a grateful smile, he sensed her lingering concern.

“Okay. I accept.”

Nate looked down at the twins who, thankfully, seemed more than content to pull themselves up on the kitchen chairs. “And you can throw in one of those, too,” he said impulsively, as if he was purchasing groceries.

Mia laughed then shook her head. “I'll take the girls. Taking care of Josh will be more than enough for you.” She wobbled a moment as Jennifer, giving up on the kitchen chair, tried to climb up her leg.

“He'll be sleeping, I imagine,” Nate said. “And I must disagree with your idea that I can't take care of more than one kid while you can take care of three.”

Mia gave him a wry grin. “I grew into the job.”

“So. Crash course for me,” he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a quarter. “So heads I take Grace, tails you take Jennifer.”

“What?”

He flipped the coin while she was trying to figure it out and showed it to her with a triumphant gesture. “Heads. I got Grace.”

“But... That isn't how it should work,” Mia said, bending over to pick Jennifer up.

“My game. My rules.” He glanced over at Grace, who was slapping her hands on the chair, then turned back to Mia. “I want to do this.” He put extra emphasis on the word want, hoping she understood the subtext.

She still looked as if she wanted to argue with him. So he did the one thing he figured would make her stop talking.

He bent over and kissed her. Then he stroked the short strands of hair back from her adorable pixie face and cupped her chin with his rough hand. “So. Now that we've got that settled. What should I give Josh when he wakes up?”

Mia's eyes grew warmer. Nate couldn't stop himself. He kissed her again.

“Um... You can give him some...some soup. I think there's a can...” She fluttered her hand in the direction of the kitchen cupboards, looking so adorably flustered Nate couldn't help but smile.

“Soup. Got it. And what about this cherub?” he asked, indicating Grace.

Fifteen minutes and a dozen instructions later, Mia was ready to go. Nico, however, clung to Nate's hand as Mia settled Jennifer into the car seat.

“C'mon, honey, we need to go,” Mia said, reaching out to Nico, who shook his head.

Nate, still holding Grace, knelt down beside him. “Hey, buddy, you cowboy up and go with your mom. When you get back you and me will go for a long ride.”

Nico heaved a dramatic sigh and trudged over to Mia's side.

“Are you sure?” she asked one more time.

“Yeah. I'm sure.” Though he wanted to give her another kiss, he contented himself with squeezing her shoulder. “It will be fine.”

She gave him a quick smile and covered his hand with hers. “Thanks so much,” she said.

“You better go.” He took a step away, wrapping his arms around Grace's chubby body and giving her a quick bounce.

She laughed, but then as Mia started walking away, her lower lip trembled and tears welled up in her eyes.

“It's okay, Gracie,” he said, bouncing her the way he had before. “She'll be back. I hope.”

But the little girl started crying even harder.

Had he done the right thing?

Could he do this?

Chapter Twelve

M
ia pulled onto the road leading back to the ranch, fighting the urge to put the accelerator to the floor. She had called Nate a couple of times on her way home from Cranbrook but he hadn't answered. She knew she had to let go, but leaving him with Josh and Grace had created unease on so many levels.

Things were changing between them. She knew her feelings for him grew stronger each moment they spent together.

But misgivings rose up with each mile she'd driven away from the ranch. What if, by taking care of two of her kids, he realized what he might be getting into? What if he realized that he had made a colossal error?

She shot a quick glance behind her at the other half of her family. Jennifer was playing with her feet and Nico was staring out the window.

He needs stability now more than at any other time, Dr. Schuler had said. Keep doing what you're doing. Obviously, something is working.

Mia made that final turn, trying to put her misgivings where they belonged. She parked the van and as soon as she opened the door, Nico barreled out and ran as fast as he could up the sidewalk toward the house. Mia took Jennifer out of the car seat and followed.

“We're back,” she called out, dropping the diaper bag with a
thunk
on the kitchen table. She paused, listening, but the only sound was Nico's feet pounding back down the stairs. He stopped in the kitchen, looking puzzled as he lifted his hands in a gesture of confusion.

“Isn't Josh upstairs?” Mia asked as she set Jennifer on the floor.

Nico shook his head and ran past her to the door.

Had Josh gotten suddenly worse? Had Nate driven him to the hospital in Hartley Creek? Had something happened to Grace?

“Wait, buddy. I don't want you going outside without me,” Mia said breathlessly.
Don't panic. It's probably fine.

Nico stopped at the door leading outside, his hand on the knob, clearly waiting for her.

“I'm coming, I'm coming.” She grabbed Jennifer again, parked her on her hip and followed Nico out the door on rubbery legs, wishing she didn't feel so breathless, her vulnerability at what she had already lost screeching to the fore. She suspected Josh was somewhere on the yard, but common sense couldn't seem to calm her panic.

Relax. It's fine,
she told herself as she scanned the yard, walking toward the barn.

Then she heard the sound of Josh's giggling and Nate's low voice coming from the barn. She sucked in a grateful breath, feeling suddenly weightless.
Thank You, Lord
.

She pulled in another breath, willing her pounding heart to slow. Nico was already in the barn and as Mia followed him she saw Josh standing beside Nate, who had Grace on his shoulders.

They were watching Nola and her colt.

Nate looked down just as Nico joined them, grabbing on to Nate's elbow.

“Hey, buddy, you're home early.” Then he looked up and Mia felt the second their gazes connected. His smile softened, his eyes grew warm. “Welcome back.”

He was smiling. He was happy. The kids were fine.

Mia's worries slipped off her shoulders and as she walked toward him she felt as if her feet hardly touched the ground.

“We were trying to figure out what to call the colt,” Nate said as she joined him. He lowered one hand and surreptitiously touched her elbow, creating a little thrill of expectation. She felt like a giddy teenager meeting her boyfriend in school. Wanting to touch, but not daring to do too much in front of their friends.

She turned her attention back to her oldest boy. “Hey, Josh, how are you feeling?” she asked, brushing his hair back from his face. He still looked flushed and pale, but he was grinning as he kept his eyes fixed on the colt.

“Nate said I had to stay in bed, but I was tired of sleeping,” he said, shooting her a quick glance. “And I wanted to see the colt again.”

“Hope that's okay,” Nate said, his tone apologetic. “I thought fresh air might do him good. We, uh, also spent some time on the swing that Denny put up the other day.”

Mia nodded, looking up at Grace perched on Nate's shoulders. Her face was streaked with dirt and bits of straw clung to her hair, but she was clapping her hands, laughing at the antics of the colt.

“Thanks again,” she said, a remarkable feeling of well-being washing over her. He didn't seem flustered at all and the kids were happy.

“I had a good time,” he said, giving her a quick wink. “I'd do it again.”

“That's great because Evangeline, Renee and I were talking about a girls-only cruise down the Panama...”

“Well, you girls just keep talking,” he said. “Cause Renee and Evangeline will have to convince Zach and Denny to babysit, too. They might not be as willing. Just saying.” He gave her a wink, which made her laugh, which made Jennifer, sitting on her hip laugh, as well.

“Have you decided on a name yet?” she asked.

“I want to call it Flash or Lightning. Because I think he will be a fast horse,” Josh said.

They watched awhile and then Jennifer started fussing and rubbing at her eyes with her pudgy hands. “I better bring this little one in the house,” Mia said, giving her a quick hug. “She's exhausted.”

“I think Grace can use a nap, too,” Nate added. “She hasn't slept since you left. We had a real busy afternoon, didn't we?” He grinned at Grace and rubbed her nose with his.

Mia's heart melted at the sight. Then he glanced her way and his eyebrows lifted as if curious what she was thinking.

She simply smiled, brushing her lips over Jennifer's soft hair.

“C'mon, boys, we have to lay the girls down.”

“I don't want to.” Josh's voice wavered up and down in a classic whine.

Mia was about to reprimand him when Nate, still holding Grace, crouched down in front of him.

“Hey, buddy, you're still sick,” Nate said, dropping one hand on the boy's shoulder. “And Nico gets to come back outside because he had to go with your mom to Cranbrook while you got to stay here and play outside with me and Grace. You go have a nap and when you're done, you can come back outside again.”

Josh was about to protest when he caught Nate's warning frown. He slumped his shoulders, pushed his hands in his pockets and slouched outside, Nico trailing alongside him.

Mia watched them go, surprised at the mixture of emotions she felt watching the exchange. The mother part of her wanted to intervene, yet as she watched Nate deal with Josh, she felt a combination of relief and release. For the first time in years she felt like someone had her back.

Nate caught her look and lifted a hand in apology. “Sorry. I shouldn't have taken over. He's your kid.”

“No. It's okay. You spent the morning with him. You had every right to have expectations from him,” Mia assured.

“I guess it's just the trainer in me,” he said as they followed the boys across the yard. “Can't seem to keep my nose out.”

“Well, I'll try not to kick or bite you when you get too close,” Mia said with a laugh as he opened the door of the house for her.

“Just bare your teeth in warning if you're going to, or flatten your ears and I'll step out of your way.”

Mia laughed again, feeling more lighthearted in the past few moments than she had in months.

Then Grace fussed and Mia reached out for her.

“It's okay. I got her,” Nate said, shifting the little girl on his hip.

As he did, Mia pointed to his shoulder. “You ripped your coat.”

Nate moved his shoulder to see better, then grimaced. “Oh, no. And that's my lucky coat.”

“Lucky?”

“Well, it's the one I've worn to all the competitions I've won. I guess I'll have to fix it.”

“And how handy are you with a needle and thread?” she asked.

“Needle and thread?” Nate scoffed. “Real men use duct tape.”

Mia laughed. “Bring it over to the house when you don't need it and I'll fix it for you,” she said.

Nate gave her an odd look. “Really?”

“Yeah. Evangeline has a sewing machine. I can fix it with that.”

“You really are a woman of many talents,” he said, dropping an arm over her shoulders. He cupped her face and smiled down at her. “You'll make some guy very happy someday.”

It was a casual gesture, but behind it lay the kisses they had shared. The moments they had stolen.

Then he caught her hand, his expression growing serious. “We need to talk,” he said.

“Sounds serious.” She forced herself to smile, but dread clutched at her as she held his eyes.

“It is.”

“So talk.”

His eyes slipped to the boys running ahead of them, the girls they carried. “Not now,” he said. “Not in front of the kids.”

“Of course.” She managed another smile, but as they walked to the house, she couldn't stop a niggle of unease at the tone in his voice, at the use of the words
some guy.
Not him? And when he didn't kiss her again, that niggle slowly twisted at her heart.

* * *

“Good as new,” Mia said to herself as she snipped the last of the threads on Nate's coat. Or at least as new as it was before it got ripped. He had dropped it off yesterday and only today had she a chance to fix it.

The sleeves had a permanent kink in the elbow. The hem was ragged. But it smelled of Nate and outside. She held the coat close a moment, as if holding its owner. It had been years since she'd done something so domestic as mending clothing for a man. Al was always ripping something and she was always fixing it for him.

Anger rose up at thoughts of Al. The old feelings of betrayal and loss. She looked down at Nate's jacket, her anger morphing into the same uncertainty that always accompanied thoughts of Nate.

Her children's own biological father didn't want them, why would Nate?

She looked over the coat once more then noticed a hole in the one pocket. May as well fix that, too. She slipped the coat back under the pressure foot and started sewing, a feeling of housewifely satisfaction washing over her.

The twins were playing on the floor and Nico and Josh were outside helping Nate build the birdhouses. The feeling that someone else was taking care of her responsibility was new to her. At the same time, she felt as if things were gathering together, bringing her to a place in her life she had never dared allow herself to go.

Mia reversed the stitching to tie it off, then pulled the coat out from the machine. As she did, a piece of paper slid out of the pocket and onto the floor.

She bent over to pick it up and saw Lacy's name in sparkly pink pen followed by her phone number and the words, “Call me. I'm available Wednesday to Friday.”

The unease she had felt previously returned. Though she wanted to think it might simply be a flirty young girl coming on to a good-looking guy, her mind flicked back to Sunday, a week and a half ago. Nate talking to Lacy. Taking something from her.

She got up and set the jacket aside. She was going to wait until suppertime tonight to give him his jacket, but a sudden urgency gripped her. She needed to see him. Now.

She ran upstairs, changed into a skirt, flicked some mascara on her eyelashes, some lipstick on her mouth and spritzed some perfume on her neck. Then she went and got the girls ready. Ten minutes later she had the girls in the stroller, Nate's jacket hanging over it. As she walked she forced herself to think about Nate. Think about the kisses they shared.

Think about what he had said. She had to believe that he truly cared about her. That he was willing to take on her children. If she didn't, then everything would be for nothing.

* * *

“So how much do you charge for babysitting?” Denny asked Nate as he handed Josh another nail. “I've got to go pick up Ella in a few minutes, maybe you can watch her while I go check the cows.”

The pounding of hammers reverberated through the cool of the garage as Nico and Josh flailed away, brows furrowed, lips pressed as they concentrated on putting the birdhouses together.

“Heard you did a great job the other morning with the kids,” Denny continued, obviously not done with his little joke.

“Be careful you don't bang your thumb,” Nate said to Nico as he held the rough boards at right angles for Nico, choosing to ignore Denny's lame humor. “We want to make sure these birdhouses are good and strong.”

“We're good for the money,” Denny added, giving Nate an elbow. “You're always saying how broke you are.”

“What is broke?” Josh asked, sitting back on his heels and wiping a bead of sweat off his forehead. He still looked flushed, but happy to be spending time with Nate and Denny and Nico after his sleep this morning.

“Broke is what Nate doesn't have to be,” Denny said, his oblique comment making Nate sigh. He knew Denny was referring to the estate from his late stepfather.

“It's not that easy, Denny, and you know it,” Nate retorted.

“It's also not that hard. Don't you get tired of letting your past determine your future?”

Nate stifled a sigh. “If I take that money, then the past will determine my future. I need to make it on my own.”

“It's only money. The guy is gone. Dead. Expired.”

“What does expired mean?” Josh asked.

“What this conversation is,” Nate said, shooting Denny a warning glance. “So, looks like you've got the front nailed to the sides already,” Nate said, lifting up the frame Josh had nailed together. “Now you just have to put the back on.”

“One of the guys driving a truck for me was on the two-way this afternoon, yapping about a place up Coal Creek way. Eighty acres with a small house and training barn and corrals.”

“I heard.”

Denny frowned. “How?”

“You're not the only one with connections,” he said, handing Josh the back of the birdhouse. “Lacy Miedema told me. A week ago on Sunday. Guess it belongs to her dad and he's thinking of selling.”