A Girl Like Me (11 page)

Track 13

I
didn't know if I was I on the run, or if I had just been kidnapped. I knew for sure that Jahaad and I were a wrap and there was no turning back. But I wondered about everything else in my life. For a moment I felt like everything was going by so fast, and I wasn't sure if time was passing by exactly the way I wanted it to.

“What you thinking about, Li'l Ma?”

“Honestly, I'm thinking about how my life is zooming by and I'm not so sure if I want it to go that fast. You know what I mean?”

“Well, I guess it depends on what's happening in your life that would make you feel like that.”

“Just…” I hesitated. “Some things.”

“Do you think you're not living your dream, and may never get to?”

I shifted in my seat and stared at him. I thought about how he'd gone from the poster on my ceiling, to the voice on my radio, to the person in the flesh who was sitting next to me. “I think I'm pretty close.” I scooted closer to him.

He flicked my nose. “I like you, Li'l Ma. I really do.”

“Why, though?”

“Because you're real,” he said instantly. “And I know you're not doing this for publicity or anything other than really diggin' me, and I like that. And I know I'm here and I'm there, never really in one place for long, but right now I just want you to flow with me and somehow,” he said as we pulled up in front of a roller skating rink, “we gon' do this.”

“Is that so?”

“That's more than so.” He smiled and kissed me on the lips. “Now, are you ready for this?” he nodded at the entrance.

“Boy, you better stop playing with me. You know I'm from the hood, right?”

“The hood?”

“Exactly, so you must've brought me here so I can teach you how to skate.”

“You wish,” he said as his driver opened the door.

“I see I'ma have to teach you a lesson,” I laughed, walking toward the door. But before I knew anything, I was up in the air. “Put me down!” I laughed so hard I cried as Haneef tossed me over his shoulder. “Stop.”

“Nah.” He started to tickle me. “You talkin' too slick.”

I hadn't laughed that hard in a long time. Tears flooded my eyes and I was blinded by the time we walked inside. Haneef handed me a tissue and as I wiped my face, I noticed that besides his driver and security, we were the only ones in the place.

“Where are all the people?” I asked as he started to put on his skates.

“Home, I guess. What size skate you wear?”

“Seven, but…I've never been to a roller rink where there were no people.”

“That's because,” he said as he handed me a new pair of skates, “you've never been anywhere where I rented out the place.”

“Dang, it's like that?” I sat down and started putting on my skates.

“What, you ain't know?” Haneef said as he started to skate and dance to Frankie Beverly and Maze's, “Before I Let Go.” That song was a serious throwback and it reminded me of my mother. She loved herself some oldies and on a good day, she loved to skate!

Haneef and I skated and danced the whole night through. We laughed, kissed, hugged, ate, and plain and simply bugged out. I'd never had this much fun on a date in my life. It almost made being subjected to Jahaad's cheap antics worth it.

By the time the night ended and we were parked in front of Naja's house, I knew for sure I could do this for a while.

“I had a good time, Li'l Ma.”

“Me, too,” I said as he kissed me.

“So I'ma see you soon, right?”

“Yeah,” I said as his driver opened the door for me. “Real soon, I hope.”

I stood in front of Naja's house as Haneef pulled away, and just as he turned the corner, I saw my mother and Gary sitting on the steps of an abandoned building up the block, and I was back to drowning in my reality.

Track 14

“W
ake up, sleepyhead.”

I couldn't remember the phone ringing. All I knew was that I answered it. “Haneef?” I peeled one eye open.

“The one and only.”

I looked at the clock, which read six a.m. “Do you know what time it is?”

“Time to get up.”

I stretched. It was obvious he'd gone crazy, from stalking me to this.

“Come chill with me this morning,” he said.

“Chill with you? You just kidnapped me two days ago.”

“Funny. Come on and wake up.”

“Alright,” I yawned.

“Ill, you don't have to come. All yawning in my ear.”

“My fault.”

“Ai'ight, now get up, sleepyhead. Unless you know you don't wanna come, and then I'm sure I can get at least a thousand chicks to come and chill with me. After all, I am Haneef—”

“Are you on yourself, or what?”

“I'm just sayin'.”

“Haneef.”

“What?”

“Be quiet and come get me.”

 

An hour later I was dressed and shaking Ny'eem on his shoulder. “Wake up.” I tapped the heel of my stiletto.

“Man,” he stirred, “if you don't get out of here…” He pulled the cover over his head.

“Wake up!” I shook him again, only harder this time.

“What?” He turned over and looked at me like I was crazy.

“I'll pay you ten dollars if you stay home this morning and see about the kids.”

“Do what?”

“See about the kids.”

“Me stay home and with kids?” he laughed. “Yeah, imagine that…”

“Alright, twenty dollars.”

“Nope—not me. Ya boy don't do kids like that.” He turned back over to sleep.

“Fifty dollars.”

“Fifty?” He turned back toward me. “How long you gon' be gone?”

“Two hours.” I crossed my fingers behind my back.

“Two hours?” he said suspiciously. “And you gon' pay me fifty dollars?”

“Yeah.”

“Ai'ight…I'll do it.”

“Straight.” I grabbed my purse and keys, and handed him five dollars.

“What the hell—”

“I'ma need to go on a payment plan.” And I ran out the door before he could stop me.

By the time I walked down the street to Naja's, Haneef was pulling up. His driver got out and opened the door.

“Why are you always walking from down the street instead of coming out the front door of your house?”

“Uhm…my grandmother…lives down the street and I always check on her in the morning. So anyway,” I wanted desperately to change the subject, “where are we going?”

“My place.”

“Yo' place?” I said, taken aback. “I know you don't think you about to get no booty?”

“Oh, I can't get none?” He started tickling me. “What—what—so what's really good with you?”

“Okay, stop now.” I laughed until I cried.

“Look,” Haneef said, sweeping my hair to the back, away from my face. “Chill, if you good, then I'm good. I like you and while I'm home for a while, I wanna kick it wit' you. You ai'ight with that?”

“Yeah,” I smiled at him. “I'm fine with that.”

 

“Cook? Who you think 'spose to cook? I thought you were rich?”

“I am,” Haneef laughed.

“Then what are you tryna get a bootleg meal outta me for? Boy, please stop playing with me and call up a chef.”

Haneef laughed so hard he was bending over at the waist. We were at his New York City apartment. He lived in a high-rise building with mad security in the lobby. I saw at least a dozen celebrities and even more socialites in the lobby as we headed up to his place.

Haneef lived on the top floor and his view was amazing. His apartment looked exactly the way it did when he was on
MTV Cribs:
endless walls of windows, black leather furniture, plasma screen TVs, a movie room,
Star Trek
posters, his collection of miniature cars, every movie and video game you could imagine, and platinum singles hung like artwork.

He had a gourmet kitchen which was real fly and opened to the living room area. I hopped on the barstool at his marble top kitchen island and looked around. True story, one corner of this place was bigger than the subsidized apartment I lived in.

I twisted my lips and glared at this dude as if he'd lost a few screws. I may have played mother to my brothers and sisters, but cooking was something I didn't do.

“How about this?” Haneef said when he'd stopped laughing so hard. “Since you too fly to cook, I'ma stir up some grub for you.”

“Stir up some grub? Does that sound appetizing to you? Nah, I'm good. I can pass.”

“I got skills, girl.”

“Uhmmm hmmm,” I twisted my lips again. “I'm sure you do.”

“Watch ya boy at work and learn something.”

Haneef opened his refrigerator and took out crab meat, shrimp, and scallops, a pack of linguini noodles, and broccoli. He sautéed the crab meat, shrimp, and scallops in a butter sauce, boiled the noodles, and steamed the broccoli. About an hour later, he had made a full gourmet meal.

“Dang, boo,” I said in awe as I watched him set the table. “My fault for doubting you.”

“You know how I do it.” He smiled. “Now come on and let's eat.” He pulled me in a chair with him, took his fork, and began to feed me. I was in Heaven. “This is so good.”

“Oh, now it's good?” he teased.

“Yes,” I said, kissing him and mushing a linguini noodle between our lips.

“So…” Haneef asked after we were done eating. “You still doubting me?”

“Yeah,” I said seriously.

“What? What are you still doubting?”

“If you're too good to be true.”

Haneef cupped my chin and kissed me. “I'm real, baby. Every part of me is real.” He stared in my eyes and when I felt tears sneaking into my throat, I knew I had to change the subject. So I stood up and grabbed his Wii control.

“You know how to box?”

“Box?” he said, taken aback. “You wanna kick it about a game?”

“Yeah.” There was no way I was gonna take the chance of becoming too emotional so that the next thing I knew, I was confessing a buncha shit I didn't want anyone to know about me. “What, you scared?” was my attempt to punk him.

“Nah, are you?” he asked me.

I didn't respond to that question. Instead I said, “You must be scared of me whuppin' yo' butt.”

“Oh what, you ain't heard?”

“Heard what?”

“King Kong ain't got nothin' on me.”

“You are so corny.” I laughed. “Now come on so I can give you a Nintendo Wii boxing beat-down.”

“Ai'ight.” He took the other control. “Let's roll.”

We started boxing and I started throwing a left hook, ducking his right, but not seeing the upper cut. I fell to the floor. Ai'ight, ai'ight, I can get it together. I took it to his chest, slammed him with a right hook, and then a left one. Snuck him with a upper cut, and the next thing I knew he was down! I started jumping up and down. “I'm queen of the world!”

In fact, I was jumping up and down so much, I didn't even notice how he'd somehow gotten up and beat me down. The screen said game over and his figure was the one holding the belt.

“You cheated!” I screamed. “I wanna rematch!”

He laughed. “Yeah, ai'ight. You were so busy yelling that you were queen of the world, that you got caught slippin'.”

“Whatever.” I placed the remote down and flopped down on the sofa. “To heck with that stupid game.”

“Ah, my Li'l Ma mad.” He sat beside me and placed his head in my lap. “I like you, Li'l Ma. You know that?”

“I like you, too.”

“How much?”

“This much.” I bent down and kissed him on his lips.

 

By the time I got home, the kids were in the bed and Ny'eem was on the couch asleep. When I tried to sneak past him, he opened one eye. “That was real foul what you did.”

“Ny'eem,” I whined. “I didn't expect to be gone that long.”

“Yeah, right. So where did you go?”

“You really wanna know?” I smiled.

“Yeah.”

“Ai'ight. I went on a date with Haneef!”

“Haneef, like that singin' dude?”

“Yeah.” I flopped down on the couch next to him. “It was like the best date I ever had in my life.”

“So wassup with Jahaad?”

“Ja-who? You mean Ja-loser. I told him to get lost.”

Ny'eem cracked up. “That's wassup. I couldn't stand him anyway.”

“Ny'eem, it was the best date ever.”

“Who went on a date?” My mother flew through the front door, and for the first time in a long while she came in with a bag of groceries.

“You went to the grocery store, or you got a five finger discount?” Ny'eem asked.

“You being smart?”

“Well Ma, I was thinking the same thing. It is like almost one o'clock in the morning.”

“Don't worry about what time it is, just know there's some food for y'all. So who went on a date?”

“Elite,” Ny'eem spat quickly.

“With who?” My mother started putting the food up.

“Haneef,” I said.

“The rappin' reggae dude?”

“He sings hip-hop, Ma.”

“Same thing.” My mother opened a carton of chocolate ice cream, sat three bowls on the table, and filled them.

I rolled my eyes to the ceiling as I took my bowl and spoon. “It's not. Anyway…I had the best time of my life.”

“What y'all do?” Ny'eem asked, taking his bowl and eating his ice cream.

I told my mother and Ny'eem everything that Haneef and I did. From the food he cooked, to the boxing match, everything.

The only part I left out was how embarrassed I was about was our life.

“Can you image, Lee-Lee,” my mother said, finishing her bowl of ice cream, “if you were famous?”

“What would you do, Ma?”

“I would get clean.”

Ny'eem and I sat quiet, both of us looking as if we'd just been reminded that we were a crackhead's kids. “I'ma get ready to go to bed, Ma,” I said, placing my bowl in the sink.

“Yeah,” Ny'eem said. “Me, too.”

And we both left our mother in the kitchen watching us retreat to the other room. The last thing I wanted to fantasize about was something that wasn't going to come true.