A Girl Like Me (18 page)

Track 27

I
t was sort of weird living back with my mother, especially living with her by myself. But true story, what was mad strange—but in a good way—was living with her being sober. Having a sober mom meant having someone who cared about where you went, what you did, and when you were coming home. Having a sober mother meant having someone who wanted to talk to you, truly get to know you, and I was definitely gonna ask her for money. She'd gotten a job at the hospital working in housekeeping.

She was sooooo proud of herself and I was, too. It was nice to see her become a new woman and I had to admit, it was even nicer having her to myself. Even if she got on my nerves about wanting to know my every move. But given what I'd been through, I could deal with that.

“Ma,” I yelled from my room as I slid on my shoes. “I'm about to leave for work.”

“Okay.” She stood in my doorway and leaned against the frame. “What time will you be getting off?”

“About ten or eleven tonight.”

“Okay, well call me first and I'll walk down there to meet you. I don't want you walking home alone.”

“I'll be catching the bus, Ma.” I placed my purse on my right shoulder.

“That's right,” she said as she snapped her fingers. “Well then, call me when you get to the bus stop, and I'll come meet you—”

“Ma, I'll be okay.”

“I know, but I just worry about you.”

“Ma, you're being extra.”

“Lee-Lee, I don't mean to be extra. Well…” she said, then paused, “I do mean to be extra. I just missed so much of your life, and for so long you were the mother around here and you never got to be the child—”

“Ma, you being sober is one of the greatest gifts you could give me. Now if you would excuse me, I need to go.” I kissed her on the cheek. “Thank you.”

“Oh, did I tell you the courts are going to let Ny'eem come home soon?”

“They dealt with his charges?”

“Yep, they had him complete a special program, which he did, and he should be back home with us sooner than you think.”

“Yay!” I hugged her. “I miss him so much.”

“I do, too. So, are you ready?” she asked me while grabbing her purse.

“Ready for what?”

“For work.”

“What? You plan on going to work with me? Something I need to know about?” I asked with playful sarcasm in my tone.

“No smarty, but I am going to walk you to the bus stop.”

“Okay, Ma,” I sighed. Telling her not to come would be wasted breath. “Come on.”

As we walked out of the building, my mother looked up and down the block. “I wish I could save enough money to get us out of here,” she said as we started toward the bus stop. “This place is just the pits.”

“It's okay, Ma. You're doing the best you can.”

“I know, but I feel like I owe you so much.”

“You need to stop worrying, please. You're doing the right thing. Did you go to your N.A. meeting this morning?”

“I sure did, and the group leader was fine, too.”

“You are not supposed to be looking at men,” I joked.

“I know and believe me, I'm not interested, not at this point in my recovery anyway. But I'm sayin', though, I'm not dead.”

“Uhmm hmm, you're just fresh.”

“Speaking of being fresh, what happened between you and Haneef?”

My heart jumped and the pain I'd been fighting like hell to be rid of ached again. “Ma, I really don't wanna talk about that.”

“Okay, Lee-Lee…well just tell me this. Do you think you'll ever forgive him?”

“Ma,” I said as I shook my head and I felt tears sneaking up into my eyes. “I went through hell while I was with Haneef.”

“It wasn't his fault though, Elite.”

“No, not all of it. But it was just so much being with him, with the whole world in my business, and then Deidra.”

“Who is Deidra?”

“His girlfriend.”

“I thought you were his girlfriend. Was he cheating on you?”

“You know…sometimes I feel like maybe he wasn't, but then when I saw them on TV and he kissed her, I just couldn't take it anymore.”

“Did you ask him about that?”

“Yeah.”

“And what did he say?”

“I didn't give him a chance to explain.”

“So, you really don't know what they were to each other.”

“Ma, I can see. I have eyes and then he lied to me.”

“Okay, maybe he shouldn't have lied. And he shouldn't have been kissing this Deidra chick either. But in that business, Elite, so much goes on, maybe it was publicity.”

“Yeah, right.” I twisted my lips as we stopped at the bus stop and flagged the oncoming bus. “It wasn't publicity. He was just a liar.”

After I boarded the bus and took my seat, I started to wonder if maybe it was publicity…and maybe…maybe I could forgive him. But, nah. I didn't even want to think about that. I had things just perfect, and the only problem I had was getting my heart to believe what my brain was telling me.

Track 28

“L
ee-Lee,” my mother called, waking me up out of my sleep. “Do you know someone named P-Twenty-Five…?”

P-Twenty-Five?
“No!”

“Oh, what's your name, baby?” I heard her say. “P-Thirty, no P-Fifty. What kinda name is that? I'm sure ya mama named you something decent.”

P-Fifty? Was she talkin' to P-Fifty? What was he doing here? I snatched the phone off the receiver and called Naja. “Naja,” I said as she answered the phone. “I think P-Fifty is here.”

“I'm on my way!” she screamed and then hung up.

“Well, I'm sorry,” I heard my mother say as I started throwing on clothes. “If you don't have another name besides P-Thirty-Five, you can't come in here to see my daughter.”

I was praying for her to stop. “Ma,” I said as I ran into the other room and saw P-Fifty standing there with Young Run, a new rapper who'd just come out. “Wait, I know him.”

“You know him?” She looked at me like I was crazy. “Well, who the hell is he? And pull ya pants up.” She frowned at Young Run. “And take off ya hat in my house.”

“Ma, it's alright.”

“Where they at?” Naja said as she flew in the door.

“Excuse me?” My mother looked at Naja as if she'd lost her mind.

“Young Run!” Naja said in a pant, grabbing his arm. “I'm Naja and I'm single.” She looked at P-Fifty, “I can sing, too.”

“Oh,” I shook my head, slapping my hand over her mouth. “Please, please don't.” I turned to P-Fifty. “We're just excited to see you here. Uhmmm, just never expected you would come over as a guest.”

He smiled. “Listen, I won't be long. But Young Run here is a protégé of mine and you heard his hit single that's out right—”

Course Naja started dancing and singing, “It's official, I'm on a mission…” She started to rap, “Hollah, yeah, we heard of that. That's wassup, that joint is fiyah.”

“All of this is just too much for me,” my mother said. “I'm just gon' have a seat.”

“Sorry to disturb you, ma'am,” Young Run said.

“But check it,” P-Fifty said to me. “We're about to work on Young Run's new CD and after hearing you sing with Haneef, I couldn't get your face and your voice off my mind. So I wanted to offer you an opportunity to record with Young Run, as well as offer you a record deal.”

“A who-who?”

“Say all that again,” my mother said.

“Oh, my God,” Naja started panting. “I always knew you had it in you. I always did. I would like to thank the Academy…”

I couldn't believe it. “You actually want me to sing on Young Run's CD, and you're willing to give me a record deal? A girl like me?”

“Why not? A girl like you could be the perfect one. And given all the stuff the papers said about you, hmph, you've got a story like a lot of other young girls. So who knows, maybe you'll be an inspiration to them.”

I turned to my mother. “Ma, what do you think?”

“Depends on what you wanna do.”

“I wanna do it!”

She looked at P-Fifty. “Seems like you got your answer!”

Track 29

I
thought I was dreaming when I felt someone snatch the covers off me and the pillow from under my head. Then I opened my eyes and realized it was real, and Ny'eem was standing there. “Wake up!” I couldn't believe it. I started smiling and couldn't stop.

“I said get up.”

I got up and hugged my brother so tightly that I fell on the bed with him and started planting sloppy kisses all over his face. “I can't believe you're home! Oh, I love you! I love you so much! Did you see Mommy? You see how pretty she is and how clean she is! Ny'eem, please don't get in trouble again, I couldn't take it with you being gone.”

“Okay,” he said in a scratchy voice. “Is that why you're trying to kill me?”

“Kill you?” I said, taken aback.

“I can't breathe, Elite.”

“Oh.” I loosened my grip. “My fault.”

“Oh, no,” floated from my doorway. “Y'all didn't start playing without us!”

When I looked up, I saw Aniyah, Sydney, and Mica. I ran and hugged them all of them at the same time.

“When did you get home?” I kept kissing them repeatedly.

“Mrs. Jameson dropped us off.”

“Oh, my God. I missed you all so much.”

“Mommy told us about your record deal.”

“I sure did,” my mother said as she walked in my room.

“Yo,” Ny'eem said. “You think I could get a rap deal?”

“Yeah,” Sydney said. “Especially now that you been to jail.”

“Sydney!” my mother yelled. “Watch your mouth!”

“I was just playin'.” She gave my mother a quick and appeasing smile.

“I bet you were.” My mother started tickling her.

The entire scene was perfect and I didn't want anything to interrupt it. I was overjoyed beyond belief. I never imagined that my life would turn full circle like this. It was as if everything I'd been through was supposed to have happened so that it would add up to that very moment. That moment when we were together as a family, and no one could take us away from one another.

After a few hours of playing with my brothers and sisters, my mother called us into the kitchen for dinner.

“Ma, when you learn to cook?” Ny'eem asked her, surprised.

“Boy, hush,” she laughed. “Your mama can burn.”

“Exactly, that's what I'm sayin'. So when your food start tasting this good?”

“Funny.”

I was laughing so hard tears were falling from my eyes. “Ma, Ny'eem is telling the truth. You know you use to mess up some food.”

“I did not.”

“Ma,” I said and twisted my lips. “Be honest.”

“Okay, maybe once in a while, but I'm better now. You have to admit this is the best fried chicken you've ever had.”

“Fried chicken?!” we all said simultaneously. “We thought this was fish.”

“Awwwl, man! We gon' order out from now on.”

“I just need some practice,” my mother said as if she were pleading for us to understand.

I fell out laughing until I cried. “Okay Ma, okay,” I said, not wanting her feelings to be hurt. “Just forewarn us the next time.”

“I got you forewarned.”

After dinner we watched television, laughed, and talked more. It was as if we were having a family reunion that none of us wanted to end.

“Let's play pitty-pat for pennies,” Ny'eem suggested.

“Oh, you must wanna be spanked,” I said, “'cause you know I got the juice when it comes to cards.”

“Whatever, girl,” Ny'eem said, grabbing the deck of cards as we all gathered back around the table. “Put up or shut up.”

“I wanna play,” Aniyah said.

“Me too!” Sydney chimed.

“And don't forget me,” Mica insisted as he wrapped his favorite sheet around his neck. “I wanna play, too.”

“Boy, if you don't get your Superman behind outta here!” Ny'eem snapped.

“Mommy!”

“Yes,” she called from the kitchen as she washed the dishes.

“Ny'eem is teasing me.”

“Cut it out, Ny'eem.”

“I'm just playin', man,” he said, motioning for Mica to sit next to him. “We the two men around here. We have to look out for each.”

“That's what I'm talkin' about,” Mica nodded. “Hey, Ny'eem.”

“Wassup?”

“Aniyah said you knew how to make license plates. Is that true?”

“Ma!”

“Yes, Ny'eem!”

“Get these kids.”

“Cut it out, kids.”

I looked at my brothers and sisters, and couldn't stop smiling. The evening was beyond my wildest dreams.