A Husband for the Holidays (Made For Matrimony 1) (14 page)

He almost had himself convinced she’d done them both a favor by not showing up when there was a knock on the door. He got off the couch as if he were rocket propelled, then forced himself to walk slowly to the door and ignored his stupid racing pulse.

It was Darcy, looking a little nervous as she worried her lower lip between her teeth. A lip he had every intention of kissing in the next few minutes. “Hi,” he managed.

“Hi,” she said, almost shy. She lifted a container. “Marla sent pie. She caught me on my way out.” Then she blushed.

Mack took the container and Darcy’s arm and drew her inside. Something about the way she’d phrased that bothered him. “Caught you?”

The blush deepened as she unzipped her coat. “I went in the kitchen and she was there. I was hoping...” She trailed off and Mack’s stomach dropped.

“You were hoping to avoid anyone knowing you are here?”

Her eyes widened. “No. I was hoping to avoid acknowledging what was going to happen when I came here. Even as an adult, it’s an awkward thing to share with your relatives.”

He pulled her in and kissed her, long and slow and deep. “And what’s going to happen now that you’re here?”

She plucked the container out of his hand with trembling fingers. “We’re going to eat pie, of course.”

With a laugh he followed her into the kitchen, watching as she greeted the dogs, who wagged at her as if she were a long-lost friend, before setting the dish down. He came up behind her and slipped his arms around her from behind and buried his face in her hair, like he used to do when they were dating, then married. She wrapped her arms around his and tilted her head so he could kiss her neck.

“Can the pie wait?” he whispered, and pressed against her backside, letting her feel his erection. She made him crazy and hungry and it wasn’t for pie. She pressed back, making him groan her name, then turned in his arms.

“Make love to me,” she whispered, and he had her mouth, kissing her as if the whole world depended on it, before she could finish the last word.

They didn’t make it very far, just out to the couch by the Christmas tree, and he’d managed to divest them each of their shirts and her bra by the time they got there.

With his hands full of Darcy’s glorious breasts, he couldn’t get her pants off, but that was okay because right now these needed his attention. He alternated between each sweet nipple with his tongue and his thumb, feeling her rise beneath him as she fumbled for the snap on his jeans. “Mack,” she pleaded, and he shifted so she could get where they both wanted her to go.

When she tugged the zipper down and slid her hand into his boxers, closing around him, he groaned. “Darce,” he panted.

A wicked smile curved her lips as her hand started to move up and down his length. “What?”

He’d forgotten. “Hell, honey—”

Her hand moved away and she started tugging on his jeans. “Off,” she commanded, and he was more than happy to oblige. “Now sit and let me,” she whispered. His erection throbbed and jumped and he fisted his hands in her hair as her hot mouth took him to the point the stars exploded around him.

It took him a minute to refocus and when he did, the only thing he saw was Darcy, kneeling between his legs, a smile on her face. Her breasts brushed the inside of his thighs as she leaned forward to get up. He caught her arms. “Your turn.”

He had her pants down around her ankles and his mouth on her before she could do much more than gasp. She managed to get one foot out of her jeans and he lifted that leg up on his own thigh so he had better access to her. He wrapped his arm around her rear and held on as she braced her arms on his shoulders. She was so ready for him, so wet and hot, and she tasted like his own personal heaven. Her whimpers turned to cries as she reached her peak, and when she came apart he lowered her into his lap and drove himself home.

“Darcy,” he growled, and she wrapped her arms around him, her breasts rubbing on his chest, and all that glorious friction and wetness and heat sent him right over the edge again, and by the contractions around him she was right there with him.

Spent, he lay back on the couch and arranged her next to him. “Wow,” she breathed.

He pressed a kiss to her head. “Yeah. Wow.” Clearly, they had no problems in the sex department. They never had. But it had never been that—explosive before. And it’d been plenty hot.

Chapter Fourteen

S
ometime later, Darcy woke to feel Mack’s fingers lightly stroking her flank. She blinked and lifted her head. He chuckled.

“Hey, sleepyhead.”

She started to sit up and his hand came up to cup her breast. “Did I doze off?”

“We both did.” He pulled her on top of him and took a nipple in his mouth, giving it a slow, lazy circle with his tongue. The tip of his erection pressed against her thigh. She adjusted so she could slide right down and take him all in. His hips rose to meet her and he let out a low groan.

This time they moved slow and sweet, and when the climax broke over her, he followed her over and held her while they floated back down, their bodies still joined. This wasn’t sex. This was intimacy. That meant there were feelings involved.

Her stomach growled and he laughed. She lifted her head off his chest and managed a grin. “I guess it’s time for pie.”

* * *

It was a wonderful evening. They ate pie naked and talked—not about the past—and made love one last time, in his bed, before falling asleep. Her last thought, before she drifted off, was this was how it was supposed to be, all those years ago.

In the morning when she woke, Mack was gone, but she smelled coffee. Her clothes were neatly folded on top of the dresser, and her bag was on the floor in front of it. She stretched and couldn’t help smiling at the slight soreness. They’d been busy and she’d loved every minute of it.

She got out of bed, took a quick shower, dressed and went in search of the coffee. There was a note on the counter.

Good morning, sexy. Had to go check on Fraser. See you soon.

Not a lot, but it made her smile.

She poured the coffee into the mug he’d left out for her and patted the dogs, who seemed quizzical as to why she was still there. “It’s okay, girls. I’ll be on my way soon.”

That was true in more ways than one, she knew. She’d be out of Holden’s Crossing in a couple of weeks. And this would all be a wonderful memory. Much better than her last memories of her and Mack. They both deserved better.

It still meant she had to leave.

* * *

“Did you have a nice time, dear?” was all Marla asked when Darcy walked in the kitchen.

She held out the pie plate, trying not to picture her and Mack eating from it naked, feeding each other straight from the dish. Seemed very inappropriate here in her aunt’s kitchen. “Yes.”

“That’s good.” Marla turned to the chicken she was preparing. “Joe’s going to go out to the barn tonight with you guys for a bit. Will you help me make sure he stays put and doesn’t wander off to overdo it? You know your uncle. He’ll want to ‘check’—” here she used air quotes “—everything.”

Darcy smiled, grateful the topic of her and Mack had been dropped. “Oh, yes. He will. Of course. We’ll find a way to keep him busy.” Her phone rang. A local number, but not one she knew. “Hello?” she said as she left the kitchen.

“It’s Cheryl. Are you free for lunch today? I know it’s short notice.”

“I’d love that. When and where?”

Cheryl named a new café Darcy wasn’t familiar with and they agreed to meet just before noon. That would give Darcy enough time to do some catching up with work emails and then be back in time for the evening’s shift at the farm.

“So nice that you and Cheryl are reconnecting,” Marla commented when Darcy told her her plans. “I was always so sad you let all those friendships go. Wasn’t healthy for you to be so alone.”

Darcy stood in the kitchen, her briefcase in one hand and her phone in the other. A stab of regret hit her hard. “I know. I just—couldn’t do it. Be reminded.” She’d had to bury her son and her marriage, too. It had been too much to hold. She’d been afraid that someone would tell her how Mack was doing and she’d never been sure what she’d been more worried about—that he’d be fine, or that he wouldn’t be. Either one made no sense.

Marta laid her knife on the counter and wiped her hands on the dishrag. “I know. But you never allowed yourself to heal, Darcy. You closed it all off, but never let yourself work through the pain. It was too much for one person.”

She didn’t want to do this. Not now, not ever. “I’m fine.”

Marla sighed and nodded. “I won’t push. But let yourself feel, Darcy. You deserve to be happy. So does Mack.”

Darcy slipped on her boots and walked out into the falling snow. Of course he did. They both did. But the only way she’d ever been able to really make him happy had been in bed. That hadn’t changed, clearly, as they were combustible together. But didn’t that mean they hadn’t changed in other ways—and she hadn’t been enough for him then. Why would now be any different?

* * *

Darcy pulled into the café’s parking lot with five minutes to spare. She was looking forward to this, but a little nervous, too. She didn’t want to blow it. She’d love to leave here with her friendship with Cheryl back on track.

Of course, she might have to come back sometimes for visits. But she wouldn’t let that stop her. She could probably manage to avoid Mack, if it came to that.

They placed their orders with the cheerful girl behind the counter once Cheryl came in and greeted Darcy with a hug, as if they hadn’t been apart for years. They chatted for a few minutes while waiting for their food, and once they were seated Cheryl asked the question that Darcy had been trying to figure out if she was going to bring up. “So. Tell me about Mack. Are you back together with him?”

“Ah.” Darcy gave a little laugh and set her sandwich down. She hadn’t even managed a bite. “No. Not really.”

“
Not really
isn’t an answer,” Cheryl said slowly. Her expression was sympathetic. “What’s going on, Darce? You don’t have to tell me,” she added quickly. “I understand.”

Darcy gave up and filled her in, sparing no details except those of their actual lovemaking and ending with, “I’m not sure what to do. This isn’t what I thought.”

“No?”

She shook her head. “No. It’s different this time. Not like, ‘Oh, okay, we shared a past,’ but more like—” She stopped, unsure of exactly what she wanted to say. Of what it meant.

“More like you share a future?” Cheryl said softly.

Darcy pressed her free hand to her eyes. “Yes.” The word was a whisper.

“Oh, Darcy.” There was a world of sympathy in Cheryl’s voice. “What are you going to do about it? How can you make it work?”

Darcy thought of her job, her life in Chicago. That promotion was poised to take her to the next level, one she’d been working toward since she got there. How could she give that up? What would she do for income? She had savings, sure, but not enough to make that kind of life change. Did she even want to? “I don’t know how. Or if it can be done.”

“You love him.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yes.” There was no point in denying it. “But what if it’s left over from before, when we were married? How can I know it’s real?” It felt real enough. But she just couldn’t be sure.

“You know,” Cheryl said simply. “You know you do. Trust yourself.”

“There’s one more thing,” Darcy said quietly. “I didn’t want to get married the first time. I was pregnant and he insisted. Not in a bad way or a mean way, just he really wanted to be married and start a family and all that. And I wasn’t ready. I know it was too late to not be ready, cart before the horse and all that, but, Cheryl, I wasn’t happy. I was freaking out and he thought it all was fine and wonderful.” Now the tears were flowing, right there in the café, but she couldn’t stop the words. “I didn’t want any of it. Now, when I can’t have any of it, I want it so badly it’s tearing me up inside.”

“Oh, honey,” Cheryl said. She reached over and took Darcy’s hand. “Did you tell him? Does he know that’s how you felt, either then or now?”

“No,” Darcy whispered. “I couldn’t. He was so sure. I thought maybe there was something wrong with me, that I didn’t want it, you know?” Mack hadn’t known. He’d never guessed. Probably foolishly, she’d hid the truth from him instead of giving him the chance to help her. And he would have. He’d have moved heaven and earth for her if she’d allowed him the chance. But she hadn’t.

“You need to tell him,” Cheryl said firmly. “He needs to know, because that’s a big part of why you left, correct? You have to set him straight because that’s the only way you can really move on and start over. You both deserve the chance to know the truth and decide where to go from there. Don’t make this decision for him, Darcy. It’s not fair.”

Even though her friend’s words were spoken in a gentle tone, they still stung, because Cheryl was right. She’d made that decision for him, for them, once. She couldn’t do it again.

She took a deep breath. “Okay. You’re right. I will. Soon.”

* * *

“Saw Darcy’s car in front of your place yesterday,” Chase said, and Mack rolled his eyes. “I’m not going to tell what I’m supposed to ask you. But I will ask—have you lost your mind?”

“No,” Mack said, taking the phone off speaker. This wasn’t going to be a good conversation for his staff to overhear. “I haven’t.” But he had had his mind blown several times last night with the incredible sex he’d shared with Darcy. That wasn’t a detail he planned to share with anybody, especially not his big brother.

Chase blew out a breath. “You are a glutton for punishment, little bro. I can’t save you from yourself.”

“No, you can’t,” Mack agreed. “So back off and don’t try. Let me do this.”

“She’ll hurt you.”

No doubt.
“I can handle myself, Chase. I know she’s leaving. She does, too. It’s fine.” But deep down he knew that wasn’t quite true. It wasn’t that easy. It never had been easy with Darcy, and it hadn’t changed. There was too much history between them, history they hadn’t touched, to be anything more than temporary. Because then they’d have to really examine the past and frankly, Mack couldn’t see that going anywhere good.

He also knew it’d have to be dealt with sometime. He owed her a lot, and as much as he wanted her in his bed, he didn’t want to be destroyed by her all over again.

He hung up after promising he’d meet Chase for lunch tomorrow and exacted a promise from Chase that he’d drop this thing with Mack and Darcy. It had been grudgingly given, and had taken some minor threats, but his brother had agreed.

He didn’t want to be reminded it would end again. That she’d leave again. He knew this, felt the time slipping past him like water in a fast-moving stream and every bit as impossible to hold on to. But it made it awfully hard to stay in denial—his current happy place, though he wasn’t stupid, knew he’d have to deal with it sooner rather than later—when people kept waving her leaving in front of his face.

Even though their intentions were good.

He couldn’t help but hope that somehow they’d be wrong. And that was why this was so dangerous.

* * *

On impulse, Darcy stopped at the vet clinic after her lunch with Cheryl. She wanted to check on Fraser and frankly, see Mack. She called him from the parking lot, hoping she’d caught him at a good time.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Mack, it’s Darcy.”

“I know.” There was a smile in his voice and she heard barking in the background. “What’s up?”

“Are you on lunch? I was wondering if I could see Fraser. If it’s no trouble.” She held her breath. If he said no and saw her car out here, she’d feel silly.

“Sure. I don’t really take a lunch, but I’ve got a few minutes. Are you close?”

“Yeah,” she said. “I’ll be there in a couple minutes.”

When she walked in, he was behind the counter. Her heart gave a jump and she felt a bit of a blush as their night together flashed before her eyes. He wore jeans and a light blue button-down and she just wanted to melt into him.

This was bad. Even knowing what she did—that she loved him, still—it scared her.

He gave her a smile and she was glad there was no one in the waiting area to see her blush. “Hey,” he said, and came around the end to drop a kiss on her mouth. Brief, but hot and way too public.

“Hey,” she said back. She loved the kisses, darn it.

A tall blond-haired woman strode in from the back, looking at some papers in her hand. “Mack, are we out of the purple packages of the dog flea treatments? I thought— Oh,” she said as she looked up, drawing out the word, her gaze flying to Mack, then settling on Darcy. “Hello.”

“Jenn, this is Darcy. Darcy, Jenn. She’s the other vet here. And yes, we’re out of that for now. Sherry said they called this morning and are back-ordered. They can deliver Monday, I think it was. The notes are on the desk there.”

Jennifer came forward, hand extended, papers tucked under her opposite arm. “Good to know. Thanks. So nice to finally meet you, Darcy. Mack talks about you a lot. Or as much as a guy will talk.”

Darcy couldn’t help smiling as Mack shifted uncomfortably beside her. “Jennifer.”

She looked at him innocently. “What?”

He just shook his head.

“It’s nice to meet you, too,” Darcy said, and meant it.

Mack rested his hand on the small of her back and steered her toward a door. “We’re going to check on Fraser.”

“All right. He told you about that?” Jenn said to Darcy, and she nodded. “It was awful. Just—awful.”

“You told her about me?” Darcy asked once he’d closed the door behind them.

His jaw tightened. “She’d heard some rumors. She made some guesses.”

She stopped and laid a hand on his arm. His muscles flexed under her touch and she slid her hand down to grab his hand. “Mack. Is that okay?”

He paused at another set of doors. “Yeah. I just don’t want you to think I go around talking about you. Or us. Or our past. It’s private.”

“I know,” she said. “I wasn’t worried or mad.” But he seemed embarrassed. A light went off in her head. “Did you date her, Mack?”

He pushed open the door. “No. Not really. We’d hang out, I guess you could say, but it was never a date situation.”

She followed him through the doors. The light was dimmer here and the smell was defiantly hospital-like. She swallowed hard. He stopped at a cage where a big dog lay under a blanket.

Even in this light, and when it was clear the animal was asleep, she gasped. She could see the scars and cuts and what looked like burns on his head. Tears burned her throat. “Oh, Mack.”