A Husband for the Holidays (Made For Matrimony 1) (15 page)

His face was grim. “You should see the rest of him. He’s in bad shape. He’s going to lose a front leg. I was hopeful, but it’s not going to heal right. But I couldn’t do it at the first round of surgery.”

She touched the cage quietly, not sure if she’d wake him if she made too much noise. He was sleeping, breathing even. Mack noticed. “You won’t wake him. He’s under right now. Helps with the healing and the pain.”

“Who pays for his care?”

“There’s a fund that people donate to for situations like this, when an animal needs serious help or when an owner can’t pay the bill. Same with Minnie. We do fund-raisers to keep it going. That will cover some of it.”

And he’d pay the rest. He didn’t say it, but he didn’t have to. She knew. She tucked herself into his side and wrapped her arms around his waist. He slid an arm around her and squeezed. She could hear the steady beat of his heart under her cheek and felt the warmth of his skin through his shirt. “You’re a good man, Mack.”

He went still. “Anyone would help out, Darce.”

No, they wouldn’t. But she let it go. And she knew now what she’d given up when she walked away. She’d been so, so shortsighted. Stupid. So she held on while she could, knowing she’d have to leave again, and they stood there, in the dimness, and watched Fraser sleep.

A
clang
from inside the clinic broke the spell. She stepped away and he let her go. She cleared her throat. “Well. I guess I’ll let you get back to work. I’d like to see him when he’s awake, if you think that’d be okay.”

He slid his hands in his pockets and started walking toward the door. “Should be. Starting tomorrow, I’ll keep him on pain meds, but not keep him under. I’ll let you know.”

“Thanks.” Darcy hitched the strap of her purse up, but before she could take a step, he turned her to face him and kissed her. A real kiss, hot and deep. He pulled away.

“That’s the greeting I wanted to give you,” he whispered.

She blinked at him. “Well, hello, then.”

A slow, sexy grin spread over his face. “Hi.”

“Thanks for the coffee this morning, by the way.”

“You’re welcome. Last night was amazing. Hands down the hottest night I’ve ever had.”

Darcy was pretty sure her blush had spread to her toes. She swallowed hard. “Yeah. Me, too.”

He kissed her again, a gentle one this time. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For taking the chance to come over. I know it wasn’t easy for you.”

His gaze was gentle and saw too much. She wasn’t ready to face that, to let him all the way in. So she just smiled back and followed him out of the ward and back into the clinic, where an older man sat with a cat carrier. The occupant was yowling with displeasure.

“Ah, Doc,” the man said with a wry smile. “Yoda is awfully excited to see you.” He winked at Darcy and she couldn’t help smiling.

“I can hear that,” Mack said drily. “I’ll be ready for him a few.”

“No problem. We’re early.” The man went back to his magazine.

Mindful of all the ears that were suddenly around them—she’d seen Jenn in one of the offices when they came back out, and voices came from somewhere she couldn’t see—she turned to Mack and gave him a quick smile. “Thanks for letting me see him.”

“You’re welcome. See you at the farm later.”

Darcy nodded and walked out into the bright sun, which reflected off the snow and made her sneeze. He’d always teased her about her sneezing in the sun.

Chapter Fifteen

J
enn was waiting for him when he went back to his office to grab a fast bite to eat. Mr. Franklin was early, and while Mack would get to him as soon as possible, he needed three minutes to wolf down a sandwich.

“Not now,” he said as he pulled the sandwich from the bag he’d retrieved from the office fridge. “Please.”

Jenn shook her head and ignored him as he’d known she would. “Mack. It’s serious, isn’t it.” Not a question. A statement.

He chewed his ham sandwich, not tasting it. He swallowed and reached for the water bottle on his desk. “Just a lot of history.”

She shook her head. “More than that. Lots of people have history. You’ve got chemistry and clearly the two of you still have feelings for each other.”

Now he choked on the bread. “You got all that from a one-minute introduction?”

She looked at him straight on. “Yes. It’s obvious, Mack. Not only from seeing you together, but the way you talk about her. Do something about it, even if it’s just settle the past so you can move on. You’re not over her.”

“I’m over her.” The denial was quick and sure. He was. He had to be. It’d been a long time. “But what happened was really awful, Jenn. For both of us.”

“It must have been,” she said quietly. “I know you lost a child.”

So she did know. His child and his wife. His family. His future. He wasn’t interested in replacing them. He couldn’t. He threw the last of the sandwich away, his appetite gone. Jenn was right. Things from the past needed to be settled before Darcy left again.

He finished out the afternoon at the clinic, ran home to take care of his pets and change his clothes as well as grab another bite to eat. He drove out to the tree farm, anticipation building in his chest. Jenn wasn’t too far off. He’d fallen right back into this. It had been way too easy.

Sure enough, Darcy was there. She turned when he came in and gave him a smile. Things were growing there, no doubt about it. What they were exactly was a whole nother story.

“Mack.” Joe’s voice caught him off guard and he looked over to see the older man sitting on a stool behind the register, Marla smiling behind him.

“Joe. Good to see you out here. Feeling better?”

“Yep. I can be out here for a while. Can’t do the heavy lifting, though. Doc won’t let me, and my girls are keeping a close eye on me.” The words were grumpy, but there was a twinkle in his eye.

Marla patted his shoulder. “That’s ’cause we want you around for a good long time, dear.”

Mack chatted with them for a couple more minutes, then excused himself to go outside, pulling his gloves on as he went. He wanted to talk to Darcy, but didn’t think she’d want him hunting her down under the watchful eyes of her aunt and uncle. Not that they weren’t adults. But he knew she was a little nervous about all this, and bringing them into it wasn’t going to help matters.

* * *

Marla caught Darcy as she was walking past the register. “As soon as Mack came in, he looked for you.” Marla’s voice was gentle. “As soon as he saw you, he relaxed. Darcy, that man is in love with you. What are you going to do about it?”

Her heart pinged painfully in her chest. What was she going to do? She was going to leave because there was no other option. “It’s been a long time, Aunt Marla. Too long. And we never talked about our past.”

“Then, you need to do that. Work it out and see where it goes.”

Darcy shut her eyes. She already knew she had to do that. Her conversation with Cheryl had driven that home. “I know we need to talk. But there’s nowhere it can really actually go.”

Marla reached for the box of mini–candy canes. She scooped a handful into the bowl that sat next to the register. “That’s just an excuse, honey. You can make this work if you want it to. So I guess the question is, do you want it to?” She held up a hand. “You don’t have to tell me the answer. It’s between you and him. I’m just trying to make sure you don’t make a big mistake you’ll regret.”

Another
big mistake, Darcy amended silently. She’d made a lot in a short time, and no matter how casual she’d kept it, or tried to, the fact was it was going to hurt when she left. But was it a mistake to leave? That was what she wasn’t sure of.

“I’ll keep it in mind,” she said finally. “I understand and appreciate your concerns. I really do.” She stopped short of saying she knew what she was doing, because frankly, it wasn’t true. The whole thing had gotten away from her as soon as Mack kissed her the first time.

Marla gave her a quick one-armed hug, the bowl of candy canes in her other hand. “We love you. We want you to be happy. That’s all.”

Darcy managed a smile as Marla hurried away to get Uncle Joe back to the house. She put the box of candy away and took a couple of deep breaths, trying to get her bearings.
That man is in love with you.

She shook off the thrill the words gave her. No, he was in love with who she’d been years ago. He didn’t really know her now. She’d changed.
So has he.
They were getting to know each other now, too, but how could it be enough? Could she be sure?

He was buying this farm. Once she left it, there was no coming back to it. Not like this. Marla and Joe were heading to warmer pastures. There’d be nothing here for her, nothing but memories. The physical places would be gone. That meant there was no reason to come back, to be here.

If she walked away from Mack, it would be for good. She wasn’t foolish enough to think they could stay in touch. The contact would open old wounds each time. She knew that for a fact. But after she talked to him, would he want to be with her?

* * *

Darcy went out and filled in in one of the warming sheds. She kept the fire going, and the coffee and hot cocoa ready. She answered questions about trees, and directed people to the proper areas for the type of tree they were looking for. At the end of the evening she banked the fire, cleaned the pots, swept the little cabin and set everything up to go the next day.

It was snowing pretty good when she came out, the kind that had been sifting for a few hours and had piled up about three inches. Then Mack came around the curve. He stopped in front of her and cocked an eyebrow. “Want a ride?”

“Sure.” She walked around and climbed onto the ATV, and he executed a three-point turn to head back in. The rough ride jostled them together and she couldn’t even pretend she didn’t mind the press of his arm on hers, even if she couldn’t feel his heat.

“Your aunt and uncle went back to the house already,” Mack said. “He looked happy, Darce. It was a good thing for him to be out here.”

“That’s good.” She brushed the snow off her arms and looked up as Mack pulled her in for a kiss.

“I’ve been waiting for that all evening,” he said, resting his head on hers. She leaned into him, even knowing it wasn’t a good idea. She just couldn’t help it.

“Me, too,” she admitted.

“Come home with me tonight,” he said, then the corner of his mouth quirked up. “I can’t cook you dinner, but I can spring for takeout.”

She should say no. There were so many reasons why this was a bad idea. Too bad she couldn’t remember them at the moment. “That sounds wonderful.”

But the truth was she couldn’t bring herself to stay away. One more night wouldn’t hurt, right? One more night before she had to tell him the truth.

“Excellent. Will you ride with me or bring your car?”

She hesitated, but only for a second. “I’ll follow you.”

They went up to the house and Darcy went to pack a bag while Mack talked to Marla and Joe. She tried not to dwell on the weirdness of it all, but failed. She threw in a change of clothes and her toothbrush, then sat on the bed and took a deep breath.

Things had shifted. How, exactly, she wasn’t sure. But she had the feeling she’d finally reached the point where she couldn’t go back.

And that scared her.

* * *

The snow had picked up and the plows hadn’t been out yet—four inches or so wasn’t much in terms of a northern snowfall—but it was coming down pretty hard and the wind had picked up. She kept her eyes on the taillights of Mack’s truck and both hands on the wheel.

The trip took twenty minutes instead of the usual ten, but she gave a sigh of relief when they parked at his house.

He got out and came over to her. “We can ride together to the diner,” he said.

“Okay.” She gathered her keys and purse and left her bag on the backseat.

His truck was warm and smelled spicy, like him. Wonderful, like him. She buckled in and pulled her gloves off. He put it in Reverse and they drove the few minutes to the diner in silence. The lot was nearly empty, and they hurried in, the snow falling fast and hard.

“What can I get you?” The waitress wasn’t the same one they’d had before. She was older, but friendly.

“Looking to place a take-out order,” Mack said while Darcy scanned the menu quickly.

“Are you closing early?” she asked.

The waitress, whose name tag said Denise, nodded. “Night like this, we don’t get much business.”

They placed their orders and waited for the food. It didn’t take long. Even in the fifteen minutes they’d been inside, there was significant snow to brush off the truck.

He pulled in the driveway next to her car, since with the plows it wasn’t a good idea to park in the street. She opened the back door, got a bunch of snow dumped on her for her efforts and pulled out her bag. Inside she stomped off her feet and laughed. “Wow. It’s quite a night out there.”

He kissed her, a hungry openmouthed kiss that had her dropping her purse on the floor to hang on to him. “Yeah. Hopefully, in here, too.”

She gave him a smile, her body tingling all over.

He built a fire and she set the food out on plates she found in the kitchen. They sat on the couch and ate, the dogs looking on hopefully.

“Wow, I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I started eating,” she admitted, reaching for the ketchup for her fries, a treat she almost never had. And the ones from the Town Line Diner were still the best.

“I knew I was starving,” he said cheerfully as he polished off another bite of his burger.

“Your mom not cook for you lately?” she teased, and took another fry. Heaven.

“It’s all good,” he said. “She brought a potpie the other day. It’s in the freezer. It makes her happy and saves me time. Win-win for both of us.”

Darcy didn’t remember her own mother. She’d left not long after Darcy was born and died a few years after that. She’d been raised by her father, and her aunt and uncle. She didn’t think her mother would have been the type to fill her freezer with leftovers. But Marla was. So she didn’t feel left out. But there was the occasional pang of sadness that she’d never know the woman who gave birth to her.

“I can see that” was all she said, and took a bite of her own burger, another splurge. “Mmm. So good. It’ll be so hard—” She stopped, as she’d been about to say
when I go back.
But she could tell from the way Mack stiffened that he knew what she hadn’t said.

“Hard to what?” His attention was on her now, not on the food.

So he wasn’t going to let her off easy. “To go back to Chicago.”

“Then, why are you going?”

She stared at her burger, so good a moment ago. “Because it’s where my life is.” That was true. But she was starting to worry it wasn’t where her heart was. How did she reconcile those things? Could she?

“Is it?” he murmured. “Darcy. Why did you leave?”

She froze. “You know why I left. After—after everything it was pretty clear we weren’t going to make it.” Which was true, and had played a big role in her leaving. But it wasn’t all of it.

“You didn’t give us a chance,” he said quietly, but there was a hard note in his voice.

She slapped her hand on her chest. “I didn’t?” Then she pointed at him. “You didn’t, Mack. You went to your family and left me alone.”

“You wouldn’t let me in,” he said. “You wouldn’t talk to me or let me see you. You shut me right down.”

She shook her head. “That’s not what I did, Mack. It’s not.”

He looked at her over the plates and stood up. He walked away, down the hall, and she heard him open a door. Should she leave? A glance out the patio doors showed the snow still coming down pretty hard.

Mack came back out in the living room with two boxes stacked in his arms. Darcy put her wineglass down and stood. “What are those?” She asked the question, but she knew the answer already.
Mack and Darcy, Christmas
was written on the tops in his mother’s neat script.

He set them down carefully and looked at her solemnly. “My mom kept these. She packed it all up. After—after everything.” Her heart started up as he opened the first one. “Look.”

She set the glass down and the liquid sloshed around because her hand was so unsteady. She came over near him and saw ornaments from their first tree. Her breath caught. “Oh. Oh, Mack.”

She touched the glass balls on top. The memories hit her hard, ones she’d tried so hard to keep at bay. She and Mack choosing these ornaments—none of them particularly special or expensive, but they’d had fun picking them out. That trip had, of course, ended in the bedroom and they’d wound up decorating the little tree in their apartment nearly naked, with Mack constantly touching her pregnant belly. She’d been six months along and had enough of a bump she’d just started wearing maternity clothes. He’d loved her pregnant body.

He’d loved her.

She swallowed. “What do you want to do with them?”

“We can put them on the tree,” he said quietly. “Or we can divide them up and you can take them home.”

Tears blurred her vision. That had been such a magical time. Not that they could ever really re-create it, but maybe they could use it as a new start. For something.

“Let’s put them on the tree,” she said when she found her voice. “They should be used.”

He put on a Christmas station, and the festive tunes helped alleviate the pain she held in her heart. This would be fun, but bittersweet. Because he’d have to take them off the tree. Alone. After she’d gone. Like he’d had to the first time she’d left.

She pushed the thoughts aside and lifted out the first box. These were four chili peppers, because he loved spicy salsa. She couldn’t hide her smile. “Remember these?”