A Husband for the Holidays (Made For Matrimony 1) (6 page)

Darcy dropped in a chair. “Yep. He said he’s on his way.”

“That’s good.” Marla didn’t miss a beat. “He’ll be a good source of support for you.”

“I don’t need him,” she said, too worried and too tired to care that this conversation had to take place in front of two of Marla’s best friends, who knew what had happened with her and Mack. And she almost believed what she’d said. Almost. Truth was, she’d love to lean on him. But the price was more than she could ever pay.

Marla’s needles clicked. “Maybe he needs to be here. He and Joe are close.”

Of course. Now Darcy just felt foolish. Mack had relationships outside of and independent of her. One of those was with her uncle.

She fidgeted in her chair. The steady click of needles should be calming, but, God, she just hated hospitals. The smell. The feeling. The urgency, the waiting, the memories of a stay here in this hospital, where she’d lost her baby and the seeds of destruction for her marriage had begun to bloom.

Now it had Uncle Joe in its grasp.

She took a deep breath, tried to calm the nerves. Marla needed her to be strong. But it all felt like yesterday.

She laid a hand on her belly lightly, knowing no life beat there. That the last time it had beat there was seven years ago. By the time she’d gotten here after the accident, it had already been too late. And it was possible she’d never get pregnant again. And while she hadn’t been ready at the time to be a mother, she’d had the opportunity ripped from her forever.

Of course, being a mother implied there was a man to get her pregnant. A marriage even. Someone who loved her and stood by her.

She thought she’d had a chance at that once, but she’d been wrong, as had the timing. Now that she was older and wiser, she was ready.

But she’d lost the only man she’d ever wanted to share the dream with. Now she was here and so was he and she needed to finally put it all behind her. And forget she was in a hospital and focus on her uncle, who’d need her help more than ever, since he’d be laid up for most of the Christmas season. Which meant what? She’d have to stay? She’d worry about that later.

She was thinking positive. He’d be okay. He was too tough not to be.

But it was so hard to beat back the fear.

Chapter Six

M
ack made it to the hospital in under fifteen minutes. Darcy hadn’t really said how Joe was, how Marla was. Equally important, how she was. He hurried in and up to the surgical waiting room. When he entered his gaze landed right on Darcy. She sat, arms folded over her middle, her face pinched and white, and stared at the TV, which ran a twenty-four-hour cable news show. Then he looked at Marla, whose expression was knowing despite the tension on her face.

Darcy looked over and he forgot to worry about what they thought.

She’d pulled her hair up in a clip, and pieces had slipped out and fallen all around her face. Memories of the last time they’d spent time in the hospital assaulted him, as they no doubt did her, as well. His gut twisted when she turned her pale face toward him and he saw etched on her face the pain and memories. Not to mention the fear for her uncle.

He crossed the floor but stopped short of pulling her in his arms, though every cell screamed that he needed to get closer, hold her, let her break down and get it all out.

She hadn’t let him comfort her when they were married. Why would now, when they were virtually strangers, be any different?

“Mack. You came.” It was Marla’s voice. Not the one he wanted to hear, but he turned to her and hugged her instead. Darcy wouldn’t meet his eyes over Marla’s head. Marla hugged him fiercely.

“She needs you,” she murmured in a low tone. “She’ll never admit it. Thank you for coming,” she added in a louder voice.

“Of course,” he said, choosing to ignore Marla’s words about Darcy. “Any news?”

Marla shook her head and he saw, with a pang, that she looked every one of her years. He’d always thought she was so strong, so youthful. Tonight, fear for her husband had aged her. “Not yet. They said hours, so—” She glanced at the clock.

Darcy came over and rubbed her aunt’s back. “Time goes so slow, doesn’t it?” He didn’t know if Marla caught the undertone of deep sorrow, but he did. He remembered all too well.

“Can you ladies use something from the cafeteria?” He could at least be useful.

One of Marla’s friends perked up. “That’s a great idea, Mack. Why don’t you and Darcy make a run?”

Mack turned to her. She wouldn’t like that suggestion, he knew. “Darcy?”

She looked like the proverbial deer caught in headlights. Before she could say anything, Marla spoke up. “He’ll need the extra set of hands, dear.”

Darcy inclined her head and offered a stiff smile to him. More of a baring of teeth than a real smile. “Well, then. Let’s hurry.”

She strode away toward the elevator, and he couldn’t help watching her slender hips sway. Jeez. What kind of guy stared at a woman’s rear when she was worried and scared and suffering from memories better left buried? He tried not to think of her mouth, hot and mobile under his, just a couple hours ago.

He moved after her and stepped into the elevator as she jabbed the button for the basement and therefore the cafeteria. She leaned against the wall of the car, her arms folded tightly across her chest, her stance screaming “leave me alone.”

He couldn’t. “Darcy.” He kept his tone gentle, his stance relaxed. Her gaze shifted to his, then away. “I know what you’re going through.”

At that her gaze shot to his and she straightened up. “I doubt it very much, Mack.”

“You’re thinking about that night. It’s hard to be here.”

“But yet you came,” she said, and there was a thread of bitterness under her words.

“Of course I did. Joe and Marla are important to me.”

Now her gaze was full of pain. “That’s good,” she murmured.

He moved closer, trapping her in the corner. “Am I wrong?”

She shook her head. “Not as long as you’re here for them only. What went wrong with us can’t be fixed, Mack.”

“I lied.”

She drew back, whether from the words or the heat in his tone, he wasn’t sure. He forged on, pinning her in the corner with his gaze, careful not to touch her. “I’m not sorry I kissed you earlier.”

She blinked and the elevator door opened. He turned and walked out, sure if he didn’t get away right then, he’d give in and kiss her until the pain in her eyes went away. Until the past wouldn’t wedge between them anymore.

* * *

Darcy followed him into the cafeteria, a little surprised at how busy it was for midnight. But far more shocked by Mack’s arrival and his words in the elevator. She’d been working darn hard on a righteous anger and he’d just popped it like a balloon.

She needed the anger to keep her distance. To keep the fear for her uncle at bay.

Right now she was too wrung out to sulk about it.

Mack handed her a tray and proceeded to pile it with crackers, cookies and some fruit. Her hands trembled, but she managed to hold the tray.

He tipped her chin up with one finger. “Hey,” he said softly. She blinked back the tears the gesture threatened to break loose. She would not cry, not here, not now, not ever...

He took the tray and set it down, then pulled her in as the dam broke. She couldn’t help it, she burrowed in, and he wrapped her up tight, murmuring words she couldn’t quite understand, but the tone was soothing. He pressed his lips to her hair. She felt the light kisses even as she sobbed out her fear and anger and regrets into the chest of the man she’d loved more than life itself and had lost.

Finally, she wasn’t sure how long it took, but her sobs subsided into hiccups and it dawned on her where she was. She didn’t have the energy to break away, even though she knew she needed to. They stood like that, the steady pound of his heart calming her, his heat seeping into places she hadn’t known she was cold.

“Better?” His voice was a rumble under her ear. He didn’t loosen his grip, but she nodded against his chest and pulled away slightly. He loosened his grip but didn’t let her go.

“Oh, no.” She touched his shirt lightly. It was wet and sported mascara smears. “I made a mess. I’m sorry.” She must look a fright, but she couldn’t bring herself to care, even if she was covered in snot, mascara and tears.

He ran his hands up her arms and she became aware they were in a public place, and even though it was late, they had an audience. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to break the contact. “I don’t care, Darce. It’ll wash.”

She stepped back and he let her go, with what looked like regret on his face. “Thank you,” she whispered, feeling too emotionally flayed to pretend any different. It was the first time she’d cried over all this in seven years. Once she’d realized he was going to just let her walk away, she’d been unable to cry. To grieve what they’d lost. She’d locked it all down.

They paid for their purchases and headed back to the elevator. There she simply stood next to him and drew from his strength. Their arms touched, and the small contact was enough.

It felt good. She’d worry about how dangerous it was another day.

* * *

Back in the waiting room, Marla looked up when they walked in. Darcy knew her aunt took in her tear-ravaged face when her gaze softened. Mack held up the bag and inclined his head toward the cardboard container of drinks Darcy held.

“Food and coffee. Both hospital-grade, but that can’t be helped.”

Marla managed a small smile at his joke. “Thank you, you two.” She glanced at the clock. “Shouldn’t be long now.”

Marla’s friend Carol came over, snagged two coffees and handed one to Marla. “Not too long,” she agreed.

Darcy took her aunt a cookie and set it on a napkin next to her. Marla’s smile was faint but real. She reached forward and pulled Darcy into a hug.

“Oh, honey. You okay?” she whispered.

Darcy nodded. She needed to address this head-on. “I just had a moment. I’m fine now. You?”

Marla sat back. “I’m hanging in there,” she said with a fierce nod. “He’ll be okay.”

“Yes, he will,” Darcy agreed. It simply couldn’t go any other way.

She couldn’t sit, so she walked back to the window while Aunt Marla’s needles clicked away. She held her cooling coffee in both hands and stared at the parking lot. A fine layer of snow coated all the vehicles in the lot. Mack came and stood beside her. He said nothing, just leaned against the wall near her. She decided to be grateful for that. She could allow the small chink in her armor.

As long as she fixed it tomorrow.

The phone rang and the nurse manning the station answered, speaking in low tones. When she hung up, she said, “Family of Joe Kramer?”

Marla leaped up, Carol catching her knitting as it flew from her lap. Darcy hurried to her side, her heart pounding, her palms clammy.
Please, please, please let him be okay.
She slipped her arm around her aunt’s shoulders, felt her take a deep breath. “That’s us,” she said.

“Come with me,” the nurse said. “The doctor will talk to you back here.”

They followed her wordlessly back to the room she indicated, where the surgeon was already waiting. He rose to his feet and extended his hand to Marla. “Mrs. Kramer. I’m Dr. Peterson. First of all, let me assure you your husband came through surgery just fine.”

Darcy’s breath whooshed out at the same time Marla said, “Oh, thank God.” Darcy hugged her aunt hard, relief flooding her.

They sat and the doctor went over the details. The upshot was Uncle Joe would be sidelined for the next six to eight weeks. Darcy knew it would make him crazy.

They shook hands with the doctor and went back in the waiting room.

“He’s okay,” Marla said to Carol, and promptly burst into tears. Her friend opened her arms and hugged her close. Mack came over and stood next to Darcy, but didn’t touch her.

“Good news,” he said quietly.

She nodded and gave him a wan smile. “Very. A huge relief. They said Aunt Marla can see him soon, once he’s out of recovery.” She glanced at the clock. “Another forty-five minutes or so, I guess. He’s got a long road in front of him, but the doctor was optimistic.”

This would mean Joe couldn’t work at the farm. They’d need full-time help. He’d check his schedule and see if Jennifer could take over a bit of his load, which would free him up to spend more time at the farm.

Near Darcy.

He wasn’t sure yet if that was a good thing or not. Right now they were on fragile ground, because she was distracted—and because the memories that bound them were centered on this hospital. The real test would be when he spent more time at the farm.

“After I see him, you can go home,” Marla said. “No point in both of us being here all night.”

Darcy sent Marla a worried look. “You can come, too. Lie in your own bed, even if you can’t sleep.”

Marla shook her head. “I need to be here, Darcy. Please. You’ll need to run the farm for now. Can you do that?”

“Of course.” Her response was swift and sure.

“I’ll help more,” Mack said, and watched shock flit over Darcy’s face. “I’ll work my schedule around it as much as possible. You and Joe don’t have to worry about anything but getting him well.”

Marla squeezed his hands. “Thank you. I knew we could count on both of you. Don’t let it get in the way of your practice, though.”

“I won’t,” he assured her. Darcy looked less than pleased. He’d talk to her later, get her to see his point. They could work around each other just fine. He knew the peace they’d forged tonight was fragile, but they’d have to find a way to make it all work. Put aside the past for the sake of the couple they both loved.

His family would be fairly certain he’d lost his mind.

After Marla’s visit, and she’d reassured Darcy she was okay now and nearly shoved her to the elevator, she and Mack rode to the first floor in silence.

He saw the worry etched on her face and the exhaustion. “Do you want me to stay?”

Her shock showed he’d overstepped. “Excuse me?”

“At their house. I can sleep on the couch. Keep you company.” Clearly, he was so tired his mouth had separated from his common sense. Still, in for a penny...

She blinked and shook her head. “No. I’m fine. I’ll be fine,” she amended, apparently seeing him forming a rebuttal. “Really.”

He bit back a sigh. He had no grounds to push, wasn’t sure he wanted to anyway. There were lines, and tonight they’d been grayed out a bit, smudged.

Darcy collapsed on her bed after a tense ride home. Mack had followed her, damn him, reminding her what a great guy he was. She didn’t want to be reminded. It was hard enough with the past hovering between them, with the memories, with their loss. All of it combined into an overwhelming emotional morass that she could not deal with tonight on top of her worry about her uncle.

Mack had turned around in the driveway. She was grateful he hadn’t tried to talk to her. “Do you want me to stay?” indeed.

Of course she didn’t. Not after he’d kissed her and later, held her while she’d cried. He’d been so sweet. Dangerous.

She peeled her clothes off and crawled under the covers, fairly sure sleep would not come for her tonight.

* * *

She woke the next morning to light streaming through the window. With a gasp she sat up and grabbed her phone. It was nearly eight. She had to get to the hospital. Aunt Marla needed to come home and sleep and Darcy wanted to know how Uncle Joe was doing. Then she had a tree farm to run. A run through the shower was a necessity and she washed up quickly, ran downstairs as her phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Darcy, it’s Aunt Marla.”

Dread pooled in her stomach. “Is—”

“Everything is fine, honey. Joe is tough. He’s doing exactly what he should be doing for someone postsurgery.”

Relief had Darcy slumping against the wall. “Okay, then. That’s good.”

“It is. Carol and her husband are bringing me home. Did I catch you before you left?”

“Um, yeah. I overslept—”

“No, you didn’t.” Marla’s voice was soothing. “Go back to bed if you can. It was a rough night for both of us.”

Darcy looked at the coffee can in her hand. Not likely, but there was no point in saying so. Once she was up, she was up. “I’m good. So I’ll see you soon.”

“Yes. We’re going to grab a little bite to eat and then I’ll be there.”

A few more words and Darcy hung up. Thankfully, Uncle Joe was okay. Should she tell Mack?