I looked forward to the few days alone with Will. It would be good to be with someone without an agenda. Though in a way, it frightened me too. I couldn’t help turning Will’s words over in my head.
“Anything can happen.”
It was true. Anything
could
happen. I had to find a way to protect the part of me that was not up for sale and rewrite my own personal definition of success. One that had nothing to do with Spiral. A few days away from the nonstop grind was what I needed.
After a day at Universal Studios and another sightseeing in and around Hollywood, we spent our last day cruising the beaches along Pacific Coast Highway. Marina del Rey, Venice, Santa Monica, and Malibu. We walked in the sand or stopped for a quick bite to eat and checked out the touristy shops. It was a carefree day with no particular destination in mind. We laughed about nothing at all and made up silly stories to entertain ourselves about the tourists wearing Hawaiian shirts and black socks. We knew we looked equally ridiculous taking endless photos with anything from a palm tree to the guys dressed as superheroes in front of Grauman’s Chinese Theatre. By some unspoken agreement we never once mentioned the band. This time was for us. The real world, with all its complications and uncertainties, was not welcome.
On our last evening in LA, we lay tangled in crisp, white sheets, wearing our briefs. A catnap before dinner quickly became another excuse to explore one another. We licked and sucked on lips, jaws, and throats. Our hands were in each other’s hair as fingernails raked along sun-drenched skin. Slow kisses quickly turned passionate, and the press of our swollen flesh became an urgent humping motion.
“Which do you prefer, New York or LA?”
“Huh?” I tore my mouth from his to suck in a breath of air and propped myself on my elbow. I stared into his eyes as I brushed his hair from his forehead. “That was a really awkward segue.”
Will’s grin morphed into a slow chuckle, then a full belly laugh. He hooked his leg over mine and switched positions so he was on top of me. “That was bad. I apologize. What’s your answer?”
He splayed his hands over my chest and traced the circular designs around my left pec before bending to flatten his tongue over my nipple. I moaned and pulled his briefs over his sweet ass. He looked down at me with a naughty spark in his eyes that went straight to my dick.
“Uh… you really want to talk now?”
“It’s a simple question,” he said, moving his hand between us to palm my rigid dick.
“New York.”
He stroked me through the thin fabric as he bent over to reach for the lube and condom on the dresser next to the bed. His smile was sure and cocky. “Me too.”
“Or maybe LA. I don’t know. I haven’t spent enough time here. Why New York?”
“Theater. You asked me once… but I wasn’t clear or maybe I didn’t know the answer yet. I want to write an amazing score. Or twenty. I want people to sing to my music. Kind of like you, but in another genre. That’s when I’ll feel like I’ve made a difference. What about you?”
“I don’t—know, but let’s—” Will knelt between my thighs and pushed my briefs aside before licking my cock from base to tip, then swallowed me whole. “—Jesus, Will!”
“Answer.”
“I want to hear my songs on the radio,” I admitted with a blush. “I want to know that people sing along in their cars or in the shower. I want—”
“You want it all.”
“Hmm. Now I want you.”
“So good but so bad for me,” he whispered in an almost catatonic tone.
“I’m good for you,” I insisted as I tilted my hips toward his mouth and ran my fingers through his hair.
He sucked me fiercely and stroked my flesh with a fluid twist of his wrist. I panted as I tugged at his hair, silently begging for more. He released me suddenly but moved his hand steadily over my aching flesh. I groaned at the heady sensation and struggled to listen when I heard him murmur softly. My heart was beating too loudly, and the rush of blood to my cock made it difficult to concentrate on anything but the sound of a condom being unwrapped. I licked my lips and ran my hands along his thighs as he straddled my chest. He uncapped the lube, then leaned forward to finger his hole.
“Do you want to help?”
I nodded. This confident, take-charge side of Will always turned me on. I licked his stomach as I pulled his cheeks apart and ran my finger over his opening. He groaned and leaned into my touch until he was riding the single digit. He moved over me, leaking precum wildly as he begged for another finger. His lusty gaze and gyrating hips were evidence he was in another zone. He whispered nonsensical words that ran together with the cadence of another language. If I listened to the tone, I might catch some meaning. But not now. My body demanded I pay attention to the primal senses. I was ready to move, to possess. No more playing.
The second my sheathed cock breached his entrance, my vision blurred. He was so tight. So amazing. He went completely still and then tentatively swayed his hips. I was completely under his spell. Will set the pace, swaying and rocking, then changing the tempo on a whim like he was playing an instrument. And when he threw his head back and closed his eyes, I had the feeling I was witnessing a metamorphosis. As though this sexual dance was tantamount to some kind of internal feeling I was connected to but didn’t necessarily understand.
It wasn’t my nature to watch anything from the sidelines for long. I grabbed his ass and rolled him over quickly. He started to protest, and strangely the trancelike state was broken. He looked up at me in surprise, like he hadn’t realized how he got on his back so fast. I gave him a feral grin, then plunged my tongue in his mouth as I drove deep inside him. I fucked him relentlessly. My hips pistoned wildly as I lost myself in him. The bed creaked and the headboard thumped against the wall. We scratched and clawed at one another as a fevered passion built around us. I was consumed with a desire to be as physically close to him as possible. My heart tripped, and my pulse sped ominously as my orgasm approached. I wanted to slow down but it was too late. I was drenched in his sweat and mine. And fuck, it felt good.
I bucked and shook with the force of my release, gasping for air as I held Will close. He came a second behind me. He clung to me tightly, whispering in that low, strange tone over and over again. “I love you, I love you.” If I hadn’t recognized the cadence from our first night together months ago, I would have missed it.
I stared into Will’s lovely face and kissed his freckled nose, wondering if he knew he’d spoken aloud. He opened his eyes and smiled. And just like then, I was speechless. There was more love, friendship, and affection in that look than I’d ever known. It was pure and perfect… and meant for me. And it scared the hell out of me.
WHEN WE
returned to New York City, we hit the ground running. We practiced nonstop in preparation for our final shows. The temperature had spiked in these last few weeks of summer. The August heat was cloying, even at night. Add a new moon and a raucous audience of a few thousand people and anything could happen. Our final show before we were due to start the next phase of our musical journey was pure magic. It was one of those rare occasions when everything came together as planned and, if possible, surpassed expectation. The crowd was wild. They swayed and sang along to nearly every song. Their exuberance spurred me on. I danced like a fool and recited impromptu bits of lyrics I made up as I went along. They ate up every bit of silliness, laughed at every joke, and rooted for each band member.
We’d decided beforehand to have Isaac play with Will as a sort of changing of the guard. The stage was too small to have them play at the same time, so Will started the show, then Isaac took over, and Will came back for the encore to play the final two songs. By that time I was dripping with sweat and every nerve ending hummed. I was accustomed to this adrenaline rush now. I could gauge its intensity and ride it to the very end without relying on drugs or alcohol to avoid crashing later. That night it was off the charts, and by the time Will walked back out with his guitar slung over his shoulder and a wicked grin on his face, I was blindsided by emotion.
He was more beautiful to me in that moment than ever. He was dressed in skintight, ripped, black jeans and a matching mesh top with his blond wig, heavy eyeliner, and lots of glitter. I couldn’t keep my eyes off him as he leaned into his instrument and blew everyone away with his genius. I stood next to him clutching the microphone, wondering if we’d do this again or if it was the beginning of good-byes.
As the harmony built, and the audience began to sing the background vocals, the moment took on a surreal quality. It felt like an unforgettable blip in time. I was driven to acknowledge it, commemorate it somehow. I didn’t think, I acted. I closed the distance between us and wrapped my hand around the back of Will’s neck and pulled him forward to seal my mouth over his.
The kiss was brief. It was fairly tame by anyone’s standards, but when I pulled away, I was relieved the one person who might take exception to the unrehearsed display had a huge grin on his face. I laughed aloud as the crowd went crazy and my bandmates looked on, shaking their heads at my idiocy. As we transitioned to the final song on our set list, I gave him one last, longing look and a smile meant for him alone. He acknowledged it with a lopsided grin, and the wave crashed over me, leaving me clearheaded and sure. This wasn’t an adrenaline-induced high. This was love.
AS WE
made our way offstage, the guys gave me a hard time for moving off script and shamelessly pandering to the audience for attention. Will, on the other hand, just laughed as I shrugged good-naturedly. Let them think it was a publicity ploy. The truth was no one else’s business. Will got it. That was what mattered. I could easily forget the reasons I couldn’t pull him back into my arms when we walked offstage.
Until I saw Leah.
Her grin was savage. A take-no-prisoners sort of look that went well with her ensemble. She was dressed entirely in black leather, like a dominatrix. Her only concession to color was her inked skin and her bloodred nail polish. I stopped in front of her, wiping the sweat from my brow as I eyed her with a mischievous grin.
“Come on now, Leah. It was a good show. Don’t tell me you didn’t like it,” I taunted.
“Being your beard just became a full-time job. You like living on the edge, don’t you?”
“It has its upside.” I huffed humorlessly and leaned into her space. “By the way, I don’t need a beard. Thanks anyway.”
She snaked her arms around my neck before I could pull away and yanked my head down so our noses brushed.
“Play smart, Rand… or you’ll be finished before you even get started. You aren’t the only hot new band out there. Consider this a friendly warning. Some secrets are harder to hide than they’re worth. Thanks to Terry, I literally have the power to end this ride before you’re out of the gate. Think about it.”
I watched her walk away, thinking it was strange that no one else in the room noticed the sudden dip in temperature. They were too busy celebrating. Someone broke out a bottle of tequila, and over the wolf-whistles, Tim lifted a glass in toast to Will before singing a purposefully pitchy rendition of “For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow.” It was just as well. No one deserved to have the night spoiled by a crazy PR lady who’d decided she wanted a piece of my soul as well as in on the ground floor. We’d deal with the fallout later if necessary.
MY PHONE
vibrated on the nightstand at an ungodly hour the following weekend. I probably would have slept through it, but the poke in the ribs and the bright sunlight streaking across the white duvet were harder to ignore. I grunted and buried my head under my pillow in an attempt to escape. No such luck.
“Rand, make it stop,” Will grumbled.
“Ugh.” I reached for my cell and was about to chuck it across the room when I saw the time and the caller ID on the display. 7:04. “’Lo?”
“Rand, we’ve got a problem.” Tim’s voice sounded shaky and upset. I was more alarmed by his tone than his words.
“What is it?” I asked. My forehead was creased with concern as I sat up in bed, letting my feet fall off the mattress.
“Go online and read the news. You’ve been outed.” I blinked a couple times in an attempt to clear the cobwebs, when he added, “Why didn’t you tell us Will was Creepy Sanders’s son? Jesus! Did you even know? Check your messages, by the way. Ed wants us at the studio immediately. As in get your ass in gear and be there within the hour.”
“Uh….” I glanced over at Will, who was peering up at me curiously from his side of the bed. The white sheets and duvet rode low on his hip, partially exposing his ass. He looked sleep-mussed and sexy… and now worried. I turned my back to him when Tim spoke again. “Okay. I’ll see you there.”
I stared at my cell, willing my heartbeat to slow so I could deal with whatever shitstorm was coming with a modicum of levelheadedness.
“Who was that?” I felt Will’s hand on my lower back and leaned into his touch for a second before reaching for my discarded shorts next to the bed.
“Tim. I’ll be right back.”
I gave him a wan smile and hurried into the living room to find my computer. My hand was trembling as I swiped it over my stubbled jaw and then rested my elbows on my knees. I stared at the laptop on the coffee table and counted to five before finally flipping it open.
I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary at first. There was a supposed newsworthy story about ten fast food items you should avoid and another about fall fashion trends. I saw another about cool tree houses and travel destinations before I glanced at the headings.
Health Lifestyle
. Oh.
I scrolled down and found the heading titled
Politics
. And froze.
Family Values, Lipstick, and a Rock-and-Roll Kiss
, read the headline.
Charles Sanders has been vocal on his view that homosexuality is abhorrent and detrimental to society as a whole. But it appears the über-conservative gubernatorial candidate has a gay son. In an interesting twist….