A Life Plan Without You. (38 page)

“Do you fancy a run out to the wreck Michael?” He came with me
under protest he was watching something really interesting on the
telly, cricket dead interesting. I ran bare foot to the wreck, he
stomped there and I jumped on his back.

“Piggy back please?” He threw me over his shoulder and
threatened to shove me in the moat around the wreck. It was an old
fishing wreck that ran aground on its way to be salvage in a storm;
it looked good so they left it and over the many years of her
residency on the beach here, she became the local kids sunken
pirate ship, were sparked the many rumours about legends of gold
bars in the depth of the holds, hidden jewels and barrels of rum.
The adventures we had on her were great, on a high tide she
completely disappeared. However, on a low tide the rope was swung
out and we would sit on the mast arms, waiting for the tide to
turn, whilst sat there we’d watch as the crabs scurried out of
their hiding places.

They were massive some of them and on the one occasion, the
last occasion as I recall, I was sat on the mast and I fell in and
swam to the shore, swimming is not my thing! I can do but I just
don’t like swimming in the sea, after all fishes pee in the sea. I
was convinced the monster from the deep would pull me in and I
would be crab food. So after that, I watched as Michael and the
rest played pirates swinging from that dratted rope. There was talk
about them digging it up, as it was crumbling and there had been a
few near drowning episodes, with stupid holidaymakers trying to be
Hambleton Pirates too. Michael had saved a few and their parents
the others.

“No the crabs will get me please Michael, don’t.” Putting me
down, we walked back to sit on the wall.

“Tell me what you’ve done wrong this time?” He was
sheepish.

“I may have belted a lad, he made a pass at my girl Laura and
well he won’t be doing it again in a rush.” I smiled, my bear like
big cousin with a heart as big as he was and that was the reason I
loved him so much. We had to share a room and had bunk beds, mainly
because he was here as much as I was. We would sit up all night
talking about the next day’s adventures and places we would visit,
the pirates we would be, the desert treks we would take, the
poachers we would catch. Those were the days of fun we filled our
weeks with games and adventures, with the new friends made from the
many holiday kids stopping at the caravan parks dotted along the
shoreline.

I don’t think we will be sharing this time, Gramps had said
last time Michael and I were now too old to share, nothing happened
like that ever, we were brother and sister. Though he did ask me
once to teach him to kiss, I passed on that one and Michelle next
door taught him instead, that and other things too. I went for a
run instead that day, it was better than listening to them two
making out and doing it. I had the whole tale told twice, first by
him and then her... Michelle will have to advise me now too, I am
also thinking Grams will be on the bottom bunk, deep
joy.

“So it was a girl thing then? What are you like?” He wanted
goodies to eat.

“Come on sweet shop Michelle supplies to be bought I’m going
with Uncle to Manx land tomorrow, you coming?”

“Nope, I’m going ice skating with Michelle from next door we
do it every time I get here, you could come with us, or are you two
still not talking now you have done it with her?” Last time he
came, he fell backwards and hurt his massive big head, he had a
sore head for days. They also had a row that day when she went off
with another lad. I did warn him she wasn’t a one man
girl.

“No troll face, I’ll give it a miss thanks. Michelle is
working and says we are fine. I’m just not going there with her
again she was good though, but Laura’s better. I’m giving the ice a
miss too, Mum says I can’t afford to lose any more brain cells, not
all of us are swotty, little troll faces.” He bought a massive bag
of toffees and chocolate he bought me a sugar mouse, a pink one
with a string tail. He always bought them for me, even though I
hated them. They were far too sweet, so I save them for
JJ.

“That lot will rot your teeth barf breath, your nineteen and
eat more sweets than JJ does.”

“I like
sweets and I may go for a pint later you coming?”

“Nah, I still don’t like it and I am knackered, but we can go
out later in the week, you’re paying.” He disappeared to his room
and the phone was ringing. I ran and answered it.

“Hello? Welles house, Michelle speaking.”

“Hello Miss Welles… Goddamn it you even sound sexy on the
phone Missy. I‘ve had to cancel the holiday. Michelle, Mum’s in
hospital she had a bad fall and she’s broken her wrist and needs an
operation on it. So I can’t leave her is that okay, I’m so sorry?”
I was miffed I was looking forward to the Saturday, Sunday
thing.

“No, your Mum needs you, I need you too but that can always
wait, I will get the train back tomorrow.” Good job he can’t see my
face.

“You’re disappointed I can hear it in your voice, but no stay
there it will be the last time you see the place and a week won’t
kill us.” My God, he’s good.

“What if I die from a broken heart it will be your fault
then.” He laughed. “I’ll have you know Sam I am extremely
disappointed, but will live with it, for now. Is she all right is
Emma all right?” I loved hearing his voice.

“She fell down the stairs, twice in less than a fortnight. I
think she may have passed out again. She gets dizzy and falls a lot
of late. What you doing now Mi cielo?” He let out a deep sigh his
voice was almost teary, I’m thinking there’s more to this than
falling, once maybe but twice? He’s hiding something from the new
girlfriend.

“Well nothing much apart from arguing with Michael about what
we’re watching on telly.” I waited a little for the
reply.

“Who is this Michael? How long is he there for Michelle?” He
was jealous.

“He’s here for full three weeks. I’m mad, wanted my bed to
myself too.” He dropped the phone I think.

“You’re sharing a bed?” I laughed.

“Yes, I am with my Grandma why?” He laughed. “Argh, you
thought I was sharing with him? I did until last year as we have
bunk beds. I think Gramps thought I was becoming a bit of a
temptation for him. Though even thinking about him and me like that
makes both of us laugh. That would be wrong, he’s my cousin and
more like my big ugly brother, honestly Sam you’re an idiot. That’s
not even funny.” He apologised and then laughed.

“What you doing tomorrow then?”

“Oh, I am going skating on the pleasure beach with the other
Michelle from next door we do it every time I come on my second
day. Michael is off with Gramps to Manx land, what you
doing?”

“Spending time between here and hospital, I miss you. I really
wanted to see you too.” I wanted to see him too.

“You could always come for the day, if you’re sure you don’t
want me to come back?” That gave him something to think
about.

“I really want you to come back to me, but we will manage and
the whole planned first time? We can do again I promise, I will
take you away when you get back a nice hotel or somewhere? I’ll try
to get there to see you, but Mum’s in a bad way. I’ll try, but it
won’t be an overnighter Missy.” I would be just happy seeing
him.

“Try please, but no problem if you can’t, I miss you too.” His
Aunty was calling him for dinner.

“I’ll ring you tomorrow. I Love you Mi cielo.” Oh, that’s so
nice.

“I love you too bye.” The phone went dead and I went to bed
before Grams. She snored badly, if I didn’t get to sleep first, I
never would. Sleep I did, sea air and fantasies about Sam were
wonderful. Grams snoring eventually woke me up cranky. Her snoring
could wake the dead. I washed and went down, my breakfast, when
Michelle walked in.

“Hi. Michelle.” Hugs, cuddles, and screaming over I grabbed my
things.

“Hi, come on grab your tickets for the ferry.” I had
everything, and my skates thrown over my shoulder. Gramps had
whitened them and treated the leather; I have to wonder where I
will get to wear them in sodding Stockton?

“It’s great seeing you even if it is only for a week.” We had
a great time skating. I filled her in on Sam. She had a load of
advice for me, I asked her about all sorts of stuff. She may be a
preacher’s girl but she was a wild girl away from the
house.

She was Sam’s age and such a good friend when I was here,
though she didn’t return many of the letters I sent her. Those she
did return were full of her latest conquest at the hotel and guest
that had taken her fancy. She said some people know they are
perfect for each other, and are to be together from their first
kiss. This was the person to ask about sex and stuff. I did and boy
was she knowledgeable. All my questions answered, and some I was
shocked at, but made note of.

“Michelle do you realise all we have talked about is Sam? I
think you have it bad. From what you say, I figure this time next
year you will be married and throwing out children, with super stud
Sam. That’s if you can tempt him into sex, though looking at the
looks you’re getting in here, I’m surprised he hasn’t already?” So
am I Michelle, so am I.

“No to the children Michelle, shit I’m not long out of being
one myself and I want to travel the world, have a career, do things
to better my life. We did joke about him following me anywhere. I
think that idea appeals to me, coming home to him every night
wouldn’t be a bad thing to happen.”

“I think you’ve just answered your own question. You want him
as much as he wants you; you’re not the first eighteen year old
girl to get married. Boy, your way older up in that noggin of yours
than is good for you, you’re too old sometimes. Pity you can’t work
the summer here with me. We could rip the nightlife up here in
Blackpool. I’d love to go out with you one night, but my next night
off isn’t until next week. I’m busy working, I had to book today
off as a holiday. Come on let’s get out of here. We need to get a
drink and something to eat at The Manchester I think? You scrub up
well, that jumpsuit’s nice.”

“Do you remember I don’t drink?” She laughed as we left the
arena and headed for the pub.

“We have a group in the hotel from Stockton. They are on a
lad’s holiday. Right bunch of idiots too. There’s one though, now
he’s sex on flaming legs. My tongue dropped when he walked in the
dining room, he is… Umm well my next target.” I laughed, The Jolly
Boys outing, of course I had forgotten about them?

“Sam was meant to be with them, but he had to cancel, they
were the idiots on the coach apparently his mates got his room as
he’d already paid for it, a nice lad too Ben, he’s called?” The day
went so quickly, my legs ached and I was all skated out and plenty
of new moves were learnt.

“I could get you some work here for the summer season, back at
the Castle, the kitchens always crying out for staff?” I smiled. I
would love the chance at that, but I would miss Sam too much, I’m
missing him already and it’s only the first day.

“If Gramps wasn’t moving that would be something to think of,
but at the moment. I have Sam and I’m missing him now, so all
summer without him would break my heart. Michelle, stop laughing
but thanks for the offer.”

We arrived home a little after eight we’d had a long day. I
wouldn’t get to see Michelle, too much this time as she was
working. The week though flew by far too quickly for time with
Gramps and yet too slowly away from Sam? I’d been to Manx land,
where I had my ears pierced. Grams was insistent, the little blue
sapphire studs were Gram’s birthday gift and cute. The pain was
horrid and I nearly ended up with only the one done, but managed
because I needed to wear nice earrings and would look stupid with
just one in, so I had it done.

Michael and I went to see the other oldies he had to endure a
full afternoon with Nana. He sat and sulked all the way there, he
didn’t like her either because he looked like a taller version of
my dad but with straight hair. Grandma had had a big win on bingo,
so she gave me a whole load of cash for stuff too. All the oldies
had given me money, to get girl clothes. Grandad had slipped me
some too, as he always did. I was just shocked at the amount
though.

“Grandad I can’t take this. Please?” He made me take it for
things for college and to buy fun things. I took it and bought
things with it. Shoes, I bought shoes. I bought loads of new
things, including a present for Sam. Sam had rang every night, we
talked about stuff, he made references to things he wanted to do on
the night I lost it, and I‘d laugh, mainly because it was on my
list, shit he had my bloody list. He wouldn’t admit it though he
just said perhaps we thought the same things? We we’re missing each
other. Sam hadn’t been able to come his mum was still bad and in
hospital.

My favourite day had been Thursday, when Gramps and I went to
Blackpool he was on a mission to update my boy wardrobe to ladies
clothes. He liked the cream dress I wore and decide it was time to
throw away the tracksuits. Although he hated it, we went dress
shopping. I liked it when Gramps spoils me, and the dresses he
picked were so beautiful elegant, and nice. He gave me more money
for the underwear, saying he wasn’t going in that sort of shop. He
didn’t enjoy the clothes shopping, but we had a wonderful day. We
ate at a nice restaurant, a seafood place for lunch, I loved just
sitting and talking to him, he chatted about Sam. We both agreed he
was right for me, as long as I was happy so was he. We strolled for
the tram and caught the ferry back. He was such a gentleman doffing
his hat at the women as we passed saying good evening.