A Life Plan Without You. (103 page)

That last night he just screamed at me that I didn’t care
enough for him to help him. Why wouldn’t I put him first, he needed
to he first for a change he needed to be loved too? He never asked
for my help and as to putting him first, well he got what he wanted
from me and he didn’t know how to be loved! I got nothing other
than just kinky awful sex for years.

Then when Sam net you he charged a little and bought me a few
new dresses and shoes, we had a few really nice nights in a hotel
and then I got the bargain basement engagement ring, he skimped on
what should have been a grand token of his love, I was happy he
wanted to commit so took what he offered but with a heavy heart
because he didn’t think I was worth spending thousands on just a
couple of hundred pounds and that was the dearest in the shop we
went in too, as I said bargain basement. The love, if you can even
call that love was as fake as the diamond in the ring! Yes shock
horror Michelle my ring was an expensive paste gem, not a diamond,
I know because it smashed when I stood on it when we had a
row…

They were nothing like yours, now they were all given with
love and worn with love and I saw that looking at you two that day,
he loved you so much and like your Sapphire and diamonds it was
genuine and massive and showed the world he just how precious you
were to him!” I was shocked, not at the sex thing I knew what they
did, why had Andy lied to me? Then shocked about her lovely words
she used to describe what Sam and I had, I was stunned had Zoë
changed?

“Was this the week I went away Zoë? Please remember it’s
really important?” She took out her diary.

“It was yes, he had his fall on the Friday and you left on the
Saturday, why do you want to know Michelle? You were supposed to be
with that other guy then and it tore him pieces. Only it turns out
you weren’t and it was in this other lads head, right? I knew and
told Andy to tell Sam. I bet he didn’t as I said drunk and
unhinged.” I had a bloody good idea, who had hurt and attacked Sam.
That’s what the police had asked about that last day at
class.

“I didn’t and haven’t been out with anyone other than Sam, no
one else Zoë, on my baby’s life. I have only ever been with Sam.”
She was catching flies. Damn it I’d done it again, I’d told her I
was pregnant.

“You’re having Sam’s baby or is that one of those cutesy names
you called each other?” I showed her Bump’s photo and
smiled.

“Yes, as in I’m pregnant with our daughter, oh hell Zoë I know
who hurt Sam and why.” I smiled at the photo and got a little
emotional again. She looked so happy and as she handed me the photo
back she sighed.

“You need to tell him, Michelle. He should know about this,
being her Father and you being on your own. This would bring him
back to you, he loves you and you love him. I can give you their
new address, if you want?” She wrote it down on a serviette. “Phone
him and meet up with him, he knows you loved him when you went
away. I met that mate of his Stuart. He was getting on the coach,
with his girl Carol. He heard your conversation with that idiot and
he remembered it nearly word for word he told me a month after you
left. He and I were chatting in Heaven and he was stunned and
shocked that for one, you two had split up and two, Sam was hurt.
So he filled me in and I filled Andy in he was the only one dealing
with Sam he even arranged for Sam to convalesce in Spain! I told
Sam all about the conversation two weeks ago. I’m surprised he
didn’t come for you?”

I smiled. He didn’t love me and couldn’t forgive me Zoë,
that’s why he didn’t come for me. My heart sank I’m thinking I may
take up godmother’s offer of my own room. They would help me with
Bump too and I could hide away there. Joe would help me he said
anything I needed, was available for me, including buying a home
for us, he would do it to keep me safe and happy, boy did I cry at
that conversation yesterday.

He would be the live in babysitter, in our nice big house
somewhere with a garden and safe. He, whilst I went to university
would look after her. Gosh I’m in a mess, oh not a mess. I’m damn
lucky to have good friends that I can stop with, my headaches. I
don’t need this stress, not now and not ever.

“Zoe
thank you this is wonderful to hear, it makes our split easier to
bear, I have loads of things running through my dysfunctional brain
and what you’ve just told me adds more things for me to worry
about, I need to talk to someone you’re right, but not Sam, ad he
wanted me back he would have come for me. I blew it using Paul to
get Sam back; he can’t or won’t forgive me now!

I’m going out with Adam tonight night, I needed to speak to
someone who will tell me straight, that’s why I agreed to go to out
with him, he will sort my head out for me, and he is my best friend
and knows me better than I know myself. I just need to get back to
Blackpool and soon, this is killing me. It’s more stress I don’t
need Zoë.” She got up to leave, hugging me.

“I have to be going back to work Michelle, but please think
about phoning him, he has a right to know. He couldn’t help the
fall or the thing Dennis did, tell him. Always and forever,
Michelle, not run when it gets tough, isn’t that your thing the two
of you had? It seems you both need reminding. She, your baby has a
right to know her Father and you need him too.

His last words to me were he still loves you too, and he said
that he’d never stopped, he only let you go because he was afraid
for you, with Dennis wanting payback, he thought you were better
off away from him, rather than here and in danger with him and
believe it or not that nearly killed him doing that, that
day…”

I said I’d think about it, he had a right to know, but hell he
had known about me not wanting Paul, and still hadn’t done anything
and he may still love me but he would never forgive me now. I told
her I would be in touch. I waved and thought about who else I’d let
slip to about my baby. Sam’s attacker knew I was pregnant and he
was angry and a psycho, shit, shit, shit... Well, you truly messed
up this one Michelle Helen Welles. Shit, I gave myself my naughty
name, shit it must be serious.

I looked at the serviette and looked at the address. He lived
near his Aunty. I wondered if they had purchased the Todd family
commune and smiled. I wouldn’t be contacting him, because I didn’t
want him to feel trapped into being a father, especially as this
was unplanned. I put it in my bag and left the café with a few more
answers, but with a hell of a lot more questions.

I passed Posh Frocks and went in for a look at the dresses. I
went through the rack and picked up a nice dress in cream and blue,
a new cream cardi in soft wool, cashmere wool; it felt so nice and
so it should be it was a tad expensive. I paid for it, expecting to
get the whole bloody goat, not just his coat. I bought a new bag
and shoes.

I went to the stationary shop and purchased a lock box and I
made my way home. I put my private stuff and my rings in the box,
locked it and put it in my wardrobe the keys were in my bag. I went
to bed. I needed a nap my head was killing me and I needed to know
what to do about Psycho Paul, the baby and Sam, oh shit my head
hurt. I spent the rest of the day locked in my room. Aunty Liz was
away, Tasha is on holidays at her dad’s, and I don’t know who else
to talk to, Adam will have to be bloody good.

I had a long hot soak and did my hair I loving actually having
nice hair to play with. Adam would be here soon. I went for plain
underwear, no sexy stuff and the new dress, along with the new
cream shoes. I put my photo in the bag along with my keys and
purse, lippy, mints and tissues. I waited on my friend to call for
me. He was on time and I went down to meet him. Wow, he looked
gorgeous and so nice. Why had he taken so long to see me as someone
other than My-isshy the tomboy?

Back then he only thought of me as one of the lads, this could
have be so, so different. Life with him would be a lot less
stressful, it would be stable and he loved me. I still loved Sam
though, that was the problem, but trying to fill the gap Sam had
left, with Adam wasn’t what I wanted, nor was it fair on
Adam.

“You look really nice Michelle, are you ready?” I nodded and
smiled at him.

“See you later Mum.” He held the door open and shut it after
him.

“Thanks for this Adam I really need to get out of that house.
It’s driving me mad.” He held my hand.

“I feel your pain Michelle my house is the same, is this all
right?” I laughed.

“Bit late you’re already doing it.” He moved it to around my
shoulder.

“Do you fancy going for a drink first, then the pictures, coke
for Mum, though?” I smiled.

“I only drink that, I learnt my lesson the hard way it’s a bit
boring coming out with me Adam.” I asked him about his work life
and we chatted all the way up to The Frog, his local too, when he
was in town.

“Michelle is this one all right for you?” I said it was and we
went in, laughing and joking as we stepped through the doors. Shit
Paul was in, drunk and throwing daggers at me.

“Adam, can we leave please now.” He didn’t ask why, he just
held my hand and we went to the George.

“Sorry, that was Paul, drinks for sex Paul, my awful stalker
and Sam’s attacker.” We sat down with our drinks. I told him all
about Paul and how weird, he had been with me. Everything including
me thinking it was he who put Sam in hospital and nearly killing
him.

“The same day I tell him he doesn’t stand a chance, because I
still love Sam and that he still loves me, Sam gets attacked?
Perhaps Sam was coming to tell me he still loved me. I can see him
standing his ground, especially after everything that we went
through and all the crap with his dad. Sorry you didn’t bring me
out for this.” I smiled.

“I brought you out as a friend. Talk about him he makes you
smile, and that’s what friends do right, talk? You don’t have a lot
of actual evidence, but from what you say it would be worth letting
the police know of your suspicions, it all fits and makes sense. I
will come with you and talk to someone, it can’t do any harm and
you could be right and if that’s the case he needs to be away from
you, it seems My-isshy he still has a thing for you.” I held his
hand as we talked.

“I think, no I know I was so, so stupid Adam. I messed up big
time, getting him injured and now my baby won’t have her Father,
all because I messed up. All for being too bloody stupid and not
waiting for him to get better. I knew I should have, but shit he
made me so angry turning up with that bitch. I saw red and wanted
to hurt him as he had me.

Using that nutter was a fucking big mistake and having
hindsight and all that crap would have been a help, shit Adam what
do I do? I have his address and phone number? I wouldn’t want him
to think I was trapping him with her our Bump?” Paul had followed
us and he was now in the George. We finished our drinks and left
whilst he was still at the bar.

“Quick back to The Frog, he’d think we wouldn’t go back there.
Michelle, your baby will be fine, and my offer hasn’t got a time
limit on it, but we see the police tomorrow, he’s a nutter all
right.” We ran, hand in hand to the pub and rushed inside quickly.
I was laughing at Adam, he had his arms around my waist, and I
turned as I got in the door. Oh hell, the man at the
bar…

“Adam can we go please, now...” He looked up and saw him too.
Sam was with Andy and Zoë at the bar. Blabber mouth Zoë, shit I
will kill her later.

“Shit, he didn’t come to look for you Michelle he came to get
away from these.” I was in major panic mode now. I was about to
turn and walk out, but Paul was behind us. Adam held me tighter and
walked me to a table away from them I was cornered by both my
stalkers.

“It seems Adam; you may have been wrong in your reasoning,
don’t apply for being a detective in the navy, your crap at
guessing mate. I need a stiff drink can I have a coke please, throw
in a slice of lemon, I have a feeling I will be sucking on one in a
bit? I feel really weird Adam. I haven’t eaten all day.” He held on
to me and made me sit at a table, I needed a sugar rush, I felt so
funny, no I needed to get out of here and now…

*****

Read about Sam and Michelle’s continuing saga, there’s lots to
talk over and questions to be asked, will they get together for
their happy ever after with people still in their lives out for
destroying it? Read, Stay In My Life For A Reason.

*****

The last thing I remembered was the kick to my face and
someone ripping the chain from my neck and that laugh, when I woke
up it was in a hospital bed. Andy by my side and Aunty was waiting
by the window Jimmy was asleep in a chair.

“He’s awake, Aunty quick get the doctor.” Feeling in a bit of
pain, I ached, what had happened, why was I here? The room went
blurry and oh, my head hurt. I had machines hooked up to my chest
and tubes in my arms. I had a plaster cast on both my leg and my
arm, and boy my head hurt, where is Michelle was she hurt too, how
did I get hurt why am I here?