Read A Life Plan Without You. Online
Authors: Christine Wood
Tags: #bullying, #longing, #first love, #lonliness, #ballroom dancing, #insecurities, #age differences, #80s disco era, #family fudes
“All the food you bought has gone off, that’s what the bad
smell is Sam.” I brought the bin around to the back door and
started emptying things and throwing away the spoilt food. I
cleaned the kitchen and put the bin outside. Now to the living
room. Sam was sat stirring into space and he looked pale and very
uneasy being here.
“Are you all right angel, you look a little uncomfortable
being back would you like to go back up to Aunties?” He
smiled.
“No, he can’t hurt us anymore.” I kissed him and carried on
cleaning the front room, it just wanted hovering and the pots
shifting. I opened the windows to let in the fresh air. I went to
the lad’s room this was fine he hadn’t been in here. Opening the
windows for fresh air and made their beds. A chill ran through my
body, so I shut the window. I cleared the pots from Emma’s bedroom
and remade the bed, opening the window in his dad’s room to rid the
room of the smell, I polished and hovered stripped the bed and it
already improved the smell of the place. I took a look in the
bathroom and wow it was filthy and I needed gloves to clean
it…
“The bathroom needs scrubbing, Sam can you bring up the bucket
of stuff please?” He didn’t answer. “Sam, did you hear me, can you
fetch the stuff up from the kitchen angel?” Still no reply, what’s
up with him? So I went down stairs. I was greeted by his Father sat
waiting for me. Sam was white as a sheet and silent, so still and
stiff, he was sat on the couch, looking lost and afraid. I went
into autopilot mode and walked past Dennis into the kitchen. I
spotted the phone, hoping Dennis wasn’t aware we’d had them fitted
it was hidden behind the supplies we had brought from aunties. I
ignored his dad and went to put the kettle on I dialled 999 and
waited for a reply, the sodding panic buttons are in
tomorrow.
“Would you like a cup of tea Mr Todd? I’m afraid were out of
milk, so I will have to pop to the shops for some unless you want
it black, blacks good for me how about you?” I heard a voice in the
background.
“Which service do you require?” I whispered Police and I went
in to see if he wanted a black tea. Keeping him talking and calm
was essential I wasn’t sure what had happened to Sam, because he
was like a zombie, his eyes dead and he was sat so still and quiet,
no movement, no expression on his face, he looked dead, but he was
breathing he was just sat ridged.
“I want nothing off you, but my house back can you do that,
you fucking bitch?” He looked wild and angry, he smelt like he was
very drunk, he took a tablet from a prescription bottle and took a
swig from the brandy bottle he had.
“We can do anything you want but didn’t the
police
tell you, you had
to keep away from here?” He looked at me and told me to sit down.
Sam wasn’t for moving he was frozen to the spot. I hadn’t cured him
after all; I’d just given him a boost when he needed it. “Let me
turn the kettle off and I will be right back, I picked up the phone
and held it in my hand. I had to let them know things, without him
guessing my plan. Shit if I could move Sam this would be so
simple.
“I’m sure
Mr Todd
, if the
police
catch you here they will arrest you, you don’t want to spend
time in jail for a silly misunderstanding do you? Have you
forgotten
there’s a restraining
order
from you coming within a hundred feet
of us?” He got up and was wobbly on his feet. Hell, he had a knife.
I looked over at Sam and still there was nothing. I was focusing
certain words so the operative knew this wasn’t a hoax call, I was
petrified.
“I girlie, want what you took from me, my money and the house
back.” I noticed he didn’t say family, just the money and a roof
over his head. Lots of threats and promises from him, they are vile
and perverted and he hates me, go figure? “I’ve waited for over a
week for them to come back and today’s the day I get it all back,
or die trying.” I panicked self-defence was just basics, not
exactly shown how to disarm someone. Yet more perverted and nasty
comments they were about my mum, JJ, and Becky, what the hell? Now
I was worried, he knew their names.
“Well,
Mr Todd
, having a knife pointed at me, isn’t going to help and I’m
sure Emma and the boys like living here in
Brunswick Drive
, just as much as you
do. Can I ask how you got in, we had the locks changed?” He looked
at me, that look of evil rife in his eyes. He stank of alcohol and
he was slurring his words, he was none too steady on his feet
either. He had another swig of the brandy and another pill, what
were they? The whole thing was hard work, he was so drunk and
between threats, he napped. When I moved his eyes opened. I looked
at Sam he really was stiff and silent and sat in total shock and
fear. I touched Sam’s shoulder and he pulled away. I wanted to try
to grab him and run.
“You left the back door open girlie, I let myself in.” I asked
him that an age ago, shit this would be a whole lot easier if I
could move Sam. I’ll keep him talking and hopefully the police are
listening to my conversation and have noticed the urgency. I seem
to have been talking to him forever, as he rambles and I answer,
the comments are all smutty and sexual, he wants to take my
virginity and rip into me, smutty talk about how he wants to fuck
me until I bleed and then fuck me tied to the bed and make Sam
watch whilst he does it. I cringe, and still Sam doesn’t move at
all, he does nothing. Dennis laughs and waves the knife at me, then
Dennis lunges at me, I step aside and he laughs as he stands by
Sam.
“Strip girl or he gets another poke with this, you can leave
anytime, the back doors open, you left it open, leave though and
lover boy gets it, you or him don’t matter which, I’ll have him he
won’t escape this time, I was damn stopped last time… Won’t be
doing that this time, your arse or his I’m not bothered which,
choose girlie you or him?” He held the knife in front of him the
only thing between Sam and me was that damn blade, I looked over
and shit Sam was in fact bleeding.
“So do you want to talk then about getting your family back?”
He smirks at me he’s coming towards me. Major panic sets in he’s
evil, more smutty talk and nastiness, threats to harm me do things
to me, things that I don’t think he’s capable of doing, but I can’t
take a chance not with Sam as he is shit this would be easy if Sam
wasn’t here. I could hit him and run. Keep calm Michelle. I glanced
out of the window… At last the police had come to our rescue, but
there was still the matter of the knife and a strung out Sam to
consider. He hadn’t moved an inch in the whole time his Father was
here.
“I think Mr Todd, I can do that thing for you, if you sit down
I will dance over here for you, you can watch the show, I will
strip here over here by Sam and we can talk about it, we can come
to a deal were you get me and Sam goes free, that was what you
wanted, me for Sam? We need to get Sam out though, please Dennis? I
don’t think he is much of a threat to you, what have you done to
him, why is he bleeding.” I put the receiver around the door
handle. I went and sat next to Sam, but Dennis jumped in front of
me.
“What will you do to save sad Sam here, I wonder… If I let
bastard boy go and you stay here with me, and let me teach you
things. Would that work for you eh? You, you fucking little prick
teasing whore, not helping you much is he, or the policeman you
have for an Uncle or the boxer for a godfather umm and the left
hook for a dad? Where are they all when you need them, not so gobby
now are you?” I panic as the knife is used to cut away the straps
of my top, but I’m thankful, because he falls back in the chair as
he does, I sit down closely next to Sam. I put my hands in his and
he pulls away from me. Shit I can’t even run to the back door with
him. He had wet himself and was shaking.
His father looked at me with sheer hate in his eyes. I looked
around for something, anything to hit him with, but nothing within
arm’s length and I didn’t want to spook him into hurting Sam, who
was clammy to touch and still pulling away from me.
“Mr Todd, please sit down. Let’s talk about the plan to get
you back, where you belong.” He slumped back in the chair. I
noticed from the corner of my eye the police had arrived quietly in
the kitchen. I pointed at his Father.
“Dennis, can I call you that?
You need
to
put the knife down
.” I let the officer know he was armed and motioned for them
to stay. “I would really listen to what you have to say, if you put
down the knife. You don’t need it because I’m not leaving Sam’s
side here. Dennis, there is nothing that can’t be fixed, nothing,
but just for now, put the knife down please. I need you to put the
knife on the chair-arm. It’s still going to be by your side, should
you need it but its making me frightened, so can we can just talk.
I won’t do anything stupid you’re in charge, just you… Just put it
on the chair arm, please.” He put it on the chair arm, my calm
voice was making him sleepy and thank God, he was so drunk, because
I don’t think I could have managed a sober Dennis.
I nodded my head at the police and they charged in. Sam was
still out of it. They overpowered him and the knife fell to the
floor, I sighed and held Sam tightly as his father was led away,
but still he pulled away from me, he was afraid of me. I shushed
him as the officer proceeded to talk to me.
“Quick thinking miss and very calm under stress. Do you need
any medical attention?” I pointed at Sam he needed help. I noticed
the blood, hell he was still bleeding.
“He’s been stabbed or poked with that knife, he’s in a state
of shock, I think his dad has done this to him since he was a small
child, please help him, he’s not moved the whole time his dad was
here. His dad has a restraining order filed against him for
endangering my life and that of his family.” He sat me down. Sam,
well he recoiled from my touch and that of the police officer. I
touched his hand and smiled at Sam. His eyes were empty and he was
shaking.
“Talk to him like he’s four Michelle, he’s four and he doesn’t
know you, it’s not that he doesn’t want you he doesn’t know you.”
Where did that voice come from?
“Shush Sam. Please don’t cry there’s a good boy shush. Mummy
will be here in a moment, shush.” I put my arm around him, he had
relaxed with me a little, and explained their story to the police
officer sat opposite me, he was astounded and looked at
Sam.
“We know about all that, and he will be dealt with. Do you
need us to call someone for you?” I looked at the police officer
and then at Sam.
“No, Sir I will be fine. We just need to get him sorted, he is
in a shock, I can’t fathom all this out why are they frightened of
him. I hate him, he is awful and beats his wife, and the boys they
are messed, can you get him some help please?” He radioed to them
to allow the medic in and then his brothers. Who had spent the last
minutes watching all this unfold? This whole thing seemed to have
lasted all evening, but it had in fact lasted just two hours, all
filled with threats of violence. I was terrified and so confused. I
needed the toilet and excused myself. I think I needed to throw up,
so I ran to the toilet, I did what I needed to, washed my face and
dried my hands and grabbed Sam a blanket and fresh clothes, and
went back down.
Sam was dead in his eyes, and still my touch still repulsed
him. Was he blaming me for all this? No he was just shocked and
confused, he had wet himself and had tears in his eyes. I was so
confused too, and then the realisation set in, what could have
happened and I cried. I wrapped my angel in the blanket and kissed
his head. I give him a hug and he finally smiled as I wrapped my
arms around him, just holding him as close as I could without
frightening him.
“Can you get someone in, to see to him please? I’m fine, just
lock him up, and throw away the key please.” Dennis had been
dragged out of the house, screaming for my death, hitting the
police officers and putting up a hell of a fight too. I went to
hold Sam again and he pulled away from me. Jimmy and Andy where
walked into the house by a police officer, Andy looked mad as hell
and Jimmy looked lost, they’d past their father in the police car.
Me? I was just worried about Sam.
“Andy, Dennis has been arrested. He came in the back door,
whilst I was upstairs cleaning. He’s done something to Sam’s been
like this ever since.” He sat at the side of his brother. Who
pulled away from him too?
“What did he threaten you with Michelle, are you alright?” I
knelt in front of Sam.
“Pen knife thing? Well bigger really, a fishing knife perhaps?
The police have it, why?” He held Sam’s hand, but he pulled away
from Andy again. We had to change him before the ambulance man came
in, because Andy was embarrassed for his brother.
“That’s what he threatened him with, and has done all our
fucking lives, it’s ‘Old Faithfull’ it’s what he cut me, sorry us
with.” Andy showed me his arms and his back it is full of tiny
marks and faint scars. He has a couple on his neck, as had Sam but
I’d thought they were shaving scars. I gently rubbed Andy's arms as
he pulled back his shirt sleeve.
“He has been doing it for years Michelle, years.” I cried
again, he too moved away from me, Jimmy held my hand as we changed
Sam and his clothes were bagged as evidence, there was blood all
over them. The police officer came back in with an ambulance man.
Andy was scowling at me, as I spoke to the police officer, telling
him his name is Sam. Samuel and these were his brothers Andrew and
James, and that I was his fiancée, Michelle Welles. Not that Sam
responded to any of it.