A Long Distance Love Affair (23 page)

I would love to be connecting with you in the here and now too...You are a delight to all of my senses.

Poor, poor, poor Chariette

Mon Cher

I am in a very French mood having been to see two French films last night.  I'm going to another one tonight, two tomorrow and another one during the week.  The festival only lasts for a little over a week. The two last night were very different, one was very moving and deep, the other a romantic comedy both very French in their own way. It's great to hear the language and to have a European view of issues.  It makes me want to write to you in French and say all sorts of things as only the French can....I would have entered the suggested activity in your email with great pleasure and vitality had the opportunity been there.  I am keen to know about your 'treats'...you could treat me now by telling me so I can live in the joy of anticipation until delivery!

I am keeping the table polished....

Hope you're having an enjoyable weekend.  Don't work yourself too hard.  You deserve a break too you know!

Last night.....

Ye Gods! the raptures of that night!
What fierce convulsions of delight!
How in each other's arms involv'd
We lay confounded, and dissolved!
Bodies mingling, sexes blending,
Which should most be lost contending,
Darting fierce and flaming kisses,
Plunging into boundless blisses;
Our bodies and our souls on fire.
Tost by a tempest of Desire;
Till with utmost fury driven,
Down, at once, we sunk to heaven.

Heavenly sunken

Chariette

Dear Chariot

Feeling seriously gypped (not sure how to spell that...)  Promises...promises.  I am holding you to them...would prefer of course to be holding you to me.....especially particular responsive parts of you.  Your physical responsiveness has always been very fulfilling and I was very much looking forward to your virtual responsiveness which can be very thrilling too when you're in the mood....but what disappointment to find nothing there!!

Chariette

Dear Prince Charming

Oh you are so dangerously easy to forgive....I can wait.

I had another very good day today and am feeling excited and happy about the progress and inroads I'm making here.  I won't bore you with the details. But it's such a lovely feeling I have just now about these positive outcomes at work and it makes me feel happy with myself.  This is such a contrast to how I've felt in years gone by. My marriage was so damaging and cruel that to be feeling like this now is almost a miracle to me.  I was made to feel inadequate and unloved for so long that after a while you begin to think this is the norm - that this is what you are -, and when contexts change and you realise that the norm is something quite remarkably different it's such a liberating wonderful joyous feeling.  What I'm also happy about is the sense of being in control of my own destiny now, and to have found peace and equilibrium is just so wonderful.  I remember how much of a slave I was to his moods and reactions, and how stressed I felt in his company most of the time.  Just hearing him come home made my stress levels go up, wondering what outburst was in store for me and walking on eggshells all the time, never feeling really relaxed and comfortable knowing some fucking thing would come up at any time.  It's the escape from this constant level of stress that I think has contributed to my levels of happiness here. 

Thinking of you.  You may be forgiven but you still owe me!!

Chariette

Dear Chariot

I'm sorry for subjecting you to that outpouring last night!  Feeling embarrassed about it....It's just that sometimes when I write, things coalesce and it just flows out and it gives me a lot of relief. (I think in your case that sex does a similar thing...)  Thanks for your dignified patience here. It's definitely my turn to ask for forgiveness!

With regard to the slow removal of my underwear, that would definitely have to be seen to be believed (or better still experienced).  I am referring of course to the pace of removal, not the act of removal itself....given my past experience with you.  I'm not complaining though!  I love your drivenness to get to the flesh of things. You remind me so much of that John Donne poem which was the first I ever sent you. ("Licence my roving hands, and let them go, Before, behind, between, above below...")  Oh how prescient I was in that choice....  Here are some more lines from the same poem on this subject which could have been written for you:

"Full nakedness! All joys are due to thee,
As souls unbodied, bodies uncloth'd must be,
To taste whole joys...."

And finally with regard to your debt to me...I have a plan...pay the debt in person and it will save you from having to compose and write it!

Chariette

Dear Sexy Chops

I'm feeling pretty tired just now as I woke up at 4.00 this morning for some reason and seem to be waking early most mornings, but this was extra early.  And it was an awake kind of awake, not just a dopey blur that you can roll over and go back to sleep. And you flooded into my mind, and set my body alive with wanting you.  And I was thinking about what a lovely handful you are and how exciting it is to have my hands connecting with special parts of you and then I began to start remembering lovely physical sensations of you, the feel of you in my hands, the feel of you in my body, the wonderful shape (and size!) of you and especially the unspeakably divine feeling of you coming into me.  By this time I was in a state of overwhelming lascivious desire and not surprisingly, telling you all this has worked me up into a similar state just now.....

I think you're wonderful.

Your Soft Spot

My Life’s Delight

Seems as though I had another flowing moment yesterday.  You really shouldn’t encourage me.  It’s like unstoppering a plug, a plug of pent up, absolute desire for you….!

Your email was very stimulating though. Consider your commitment repaid… almost in full.  The remainder I desire to be paid in real time!  Real time and naked, abandoned, urgent, hard, activity.   And still the debt won’t be fully paid…not until I can make you feel completely and utterly satisfied. 

I love the contact I have with you, in the flesh, on the phone and in writing.  It’s all wonderful.  You have given me a new lease on life. I wish so very much that I could reciprocate for you the joy you bring to me. 

I am one joyous bundle of smiles for you.

Chariette

Dear Handsome Birthday Boy from yesterday

So lovely to hear from you today.  I would have loved to be able to wish you happy birthday yesterday by other than virtual means.  Consider yourself thoroughly kissed in thought (and thoroughly ravaged if truth be told...)

I am brimming over with the vitality of life just now.  Wishing so much I could share it with you.  I'll burst soon if I don't. I wish you would realise you have a public duty to save me from this kind of spontaneous self nihilation.  I feel as though I could explode into a thousand stars of joyousness!  I obviously need you!

You are full of vitality too, and that is so attractive to me.  Oh I am crazy about you (maybe just crazy but you definitely figure in there too...) The sound of your voice thrills me and your smile and your body just send me (to lovely places). Oh I wish I had a bathtub here to soothe me a bit.  I'm taking a lot of bathtub smelly stuff for an indulgent week of baths in Holland.  I remember when I was in Switzerland the bath was beautifully deep, so I'm hoping this will be the same in Holland.  I would love to be in the bath with you sometime, our wet soapy bodies slipping over each other.  Oh how lovely that would be.  Oh God how I wish you were here.

Wish you were here too dear Chariot!

Dear Very Cheeky Chops (and Sausage)

Wonderful to hear from you.  It is now about 3am Brisbane time and I have just arrived back at the hotel after a number of hours in Amsterdam.  I have travelled by train and tram to get here so I'm feeling very proud of myself and almost like a local.  The place is unbelievably flat and very wet.  There are canals everywhere in the countryside.  I was looking out the train window and saw a line of boats in what looked like a field, then I realised they were in a canal!  It's very strange how wet it is everywhere.  Amsterdam as a city is very lovely.  The buildings are fantastic but it is so crowded!  I walked and walked and it was like Myers on Boxing day you could hardly get through the crowds.  And they all dress very drably!  I think I was the only woman in Amsterdam to have a skirt on.  There are jeans everywhere and such a mixture of people.  It is hard to tell what the Dutch are like with this influx.  Travelling on the train out from Amsterdam to The Hague the housing is not nice.  Everyone lives in medium rise housing.  Some of it looks very post war and is drab and horrible a bit like I saw in Germany.  It's all flats and no garden.  I couldn't live like that.  And the hotel I'm staying is in the middle of a no man's land of big corporate buildings and no trees.  Bleh Bleh!  First impressions have not been all that positive apart from the Amsterdam buildings.

And it's freezing!! And people were eating ice cream everywhere!  Maybe it's just all the tourists in Amsterdam itself and all the native Dutch are sensible enough to stay out of there.