A MATTER OF TRUST (17 page)

Maddy closed her eyes again, fighting a wave of nausea. “I like that…what you said about your life being in color now.”

“Why don’t you just rest until we get to the doctor’s office? I’ll wake you when get there.”

He didn’t like how pale she’d grown or the listless tone in her voice. The cheeks that had been flushed only moments before had drained of all color and when he reached out and placed his hand over her forehead, it felt cool and clammy. Chase swore under his breath. He wasn’t cut out for this. He’d spent too many years alone, too many years worrying only about himself, and now that he had someone who depended on him to take care of her, he felt utterly helpless.

On those rare occasions when he was sick, he simply ignored it and pushed himself even harder, refusing to give into the aches and pains for even a minute. But Maddy didn’t have his strength and it was killing him to watch the vibrancy that was so much a part of her slowly ebb away while he was powerless to do anything about it.

“You worry too much,” Maddy told him when they finally reached the doctor’s office and Chase asked if he should carry her inside.

She declined his offer but welcomed the arm he wrapped around her, leaning heavily into him as they entered the building and was even more grateful when he led her to a seat while he went to check her in and collect the medical forms she needed to complete. It wasn’t until he returned and offered to fill out the form while she provided the information that Maddy realized she’d have to use her real name. She should have told him ages ago, and even though she was sure it wouldn’t make any difference to him, she just didn’t have the energy to explain right now.

“Thanks, but I can do it myself.”

She held out her hand and took the clipboard, huddling over it while she jotted down her medical history then printed her name at the top and added her signature at the bottom. Grabbing her purse, Maddy rose and hurried over to the check-in counter before Chase could offer to do it for her. She cast a quick glance over her shoulder to make sure he hadn’t followed her then dug out her insurance card and handed it to the nurse.

The nurse made a copy then slid the card across the counter. “It shouldn’t be long, Miss St. Clair. Just have a seat and we’ll call you when the doctor’s ready.”

“Sawyer,” Maddy said, careful to keep her voice low. “I go by my mother’s maiden name so I…I’d appreciate it if you could inform the doctor to address me as Miss Sawyer.”

“Of course,” the nurse smiled. “I’ll make a note of it on the file.”

“Is there a problem?” Chase said from behind her.

Maddy whirled around and was instantly sorry for doing so. “Oh…” she reached for the counter to steady herself. “I think that was a mistake.”

Chase shot the nurse a hostile glare. “She needs to see the doctor now.”

“I’m fine, I just felt a little dizzy that’s all.”

He wound his arm around her shoulder protectively. “Now,” he repeated in a tone that made even Maddy nervous.

“I…uh…I’ll have a room ready for you in just a moment,” the nurse said, already reaching for the phone.

****

Chase didn’t budge until the door opened and they were ushered inside, and he didn’t let go of Maddy until he had her settled onto an examination table. She didn’t argue when he insisted on helping her undress so she could put on the gown the nurse had given her or when he told her to lay down. He took her hand and held it, noting that her skin was once again warm to the touch.

"I feel like death warmed over," she complained. Maddy rubbed the back of her neck trying to decide what was worse; the stiff, achy muscles or the raw soreness in her throat.

Chase brought her hand to his lips. “I’ll take care of you, sweetheart, I promise.”

“You missed your cue, Malone. You were supposed to tell me I still look beautiful to you.”

He trailed a finger down the side of cheek, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Don’t take this the wrong way, honey, but you look like hell.”

Before she could think of a snappish reply, there was a light tap on the door. A silver-haired man slipped into the room, flipping through her chart for a moment before he lifted his head. Surprise registered on his face when he saw Chase standing over her followed by a huge smile and vigorous hand shake.

“Chase Malone, I haven’t seen you in ages. You know, if all of my patients were as healthy as you and your family I’d have gone out of business long ago.” His eyes migrated to Maddy. “Hello, young lady, I’m Dr. Burky. My nurse tells me Chase got a little bent out of shape out there. Considering he’s never been anything but courteous before I’d have to guess you’re pretty important to him.”

“Damn right,” Chase said, his chest puffing with pride. “We’re going to get married.”

“Really? Weren’t you the one who proclaimed no woman was worth losing your independence for?”

Chase smiled down at Maddy. “Yeah, well…she kind of caught me off guard.”

Dr. Burky set Maddy’s chart down and pulled a stethoscope from his jacket. “Okay, Miss Sawyer, why don’t you start telling me what your symptoms are?”

***

Chase pulled the blanket up over Maddy’s shoulders, standing over her for quite some time before slipping back out of the bedroom. Stomach flu and a mild ear infection; that was the diagnosis Dr. Burky had initially given. He explained that it wasn’t uncommon with the flu to go from feverish to the chills and back again and that the dizziness Maddy had experienced was caused by the ear infection. Then he’d shocked them both by asking if there was a chance she was pregnant. Maddy’s already flushed cheeks had turned an even deeper shade of red when she had to admit she’d forgotten to take her birth control pill the night before.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled after the doctor had left the room to arrange for a pregnancy test.

Chase stood there for a moment trying to analyze the alien emotions that had seized his heart and locked the air in his lungs. He looked into those beautiful blue eyes of hers then let his gaze wander down to her flat belly. Slowly, his feet carried him to Maddy’s side. He splayed his hand over her abdomen and something that could only be described as an awakening stirred deep inside of him. Everything he’d always believed would make him happy; a successful business, a nice home, expensive cars and clothes, a variety of women to spend his time with, all of it meant nothing compared to the child that might be growing inside the warmth of Maddy’s body.

“I want this,” he said thickly.

Maddy’s worried frown faltered. “You…do?”

A slow smile spread across his face. “Yeah,” he said softly, “I do. I want to have a baby with you.”

She’d cried when he’d said that, and she’d cried even harder when he’d gathered her in his arms and told her nothing would make him happier than getting married and starting a family right away. But what had really brought on a torrential downpour was the confirmation from Dr. Burky that Maddy was indeed pregnant. The kicker was that she hadn’t conceived the night before during their heated session in the garage, but had apparently gotten pregnant the first time they’d made love. Well, maybe not the very first time, but it was definitely during those first few days when they’d barely gotten out of bed long enough to grab something to eat. One of Chase’s marauders had challenged the ninety nine point nine percent effective rate of Maddy’s birth control pills and came out the victor.

Chase wandered into the spare bedroom next to his, envisioning where the crib should go and if he should get one rocker or two. Maddy would be swallowed up if he got a rocker big enough for him to sit in and he would hardly fit into one that was suited to her much smaller frame. Two rockers then, he decided, and one of those colorful mobiles that hung over the crib to stimulate the baby’s vision. A baby. His baby. Chase leaned against the wall, suddenly feeling a little light headed. He didn’t know the first thing about raising children but that didn’t keep him from longing to hold his own child in his arms.

He’d been too afraid to ask Dr. Burky if having the flu would endanger the baby’s life, but it was the first question out of Maddy’s mouth when he told them she was pregnant. He’d assured them both that all she needed to do was maintain her energy so her body could fight the virus. Plenty of fluids, food and rest would cure the flu and an antibiotic would get rid of the ear infection. They’d made an appointment for him to see Maddy again in two weeks then stopped to get the prescription filled before heading back home. He’d coaxed her into eating a bowl of soup and a full glass of water then tucked her into bed, lying beside her with his hand resting on her belly until she’d fallen asleep.

Glancing around the room now, picturing it filled with baby furniture and imagining the late night feedings, it began to sink in just how much his life was about to change. Was he ready for it? Probably not, but then he hadn’t been ready to fall in love and settle down to just one woman when Maddy literally crashed into his life either. He shook his head with a chuckle. For such a tiny thing, she sure packed quite a punch to a man’s heart.

Chase shoved himself away from the wall and headed downstairs to his study. With a baby on the way already, they were going to have to start on the wedding plans right away and that meant he’d need to enlist the help of his mother and sister to get things rolling. He’d get Maddy’s parents involved once she told them and then let their families put it all together because he sure as hell wasn’t capable of planning it and he wasn’t going to allow Maddy to wear herself out, not in her condition.

Chase dialed his mother’s number, drawing in a deep breath. “Hey Mom, it’s me. I’ve got some things I need to tell you, but you may want to sit down first…”

****

Maddy shuffled listlessly down the hall to the kitchen, her mind still groggy with sleep. Her throat was so dry it felt as if she’d swallowed a mouth full of sand, and the water from the bathroom tap wasn’t nearly cold enough to sooth her burning thirst. The house was quiet and as she poured herself a glass of ice water and gulped it down, she wondered if Chase had decided to go his office after all. She poured a second glass to take back to the room with her, filling it to the top with ice so it would stay cold for a while, then trudged back down the hall. That’s when she heard Chase’s deep voice coming from the study.

Maddy hesitated at the bottom of the stairs, tilting her head. It wasn’t so much what he was saying that piqued her curiosity, because she couldn’t actually make out any of the words. It was more because he seemed to be deliberately keeping his voice low that made her turn around and pad silently toward study. She hovered outside the door feeling guilty for eavesdropping but not so guilt stricken that it stopped her from pressing her ear against the crack so she could hear better.

“…have to marry her, Mom. I’m not cut out for this sort of thing and to be honest, I don’t think I’m equipped to handle any of it right now.” There was a long pause as he listened and then a short laugh. “For once Lydia is right, but it might not be so easy convincing Maddy to get rid of it. I’m sure she’ll come around…”

Maddy backed away from the door, the pain in her chest so acute she could barely breathe. Chase had been lying when he told her he wanted this baby, or maybe now that he’d had a little time to think about it he’d decided he couldn’t handle being a father. As gut wrenching as that was, she knew in time she could come to terms with the idea of raising their child alone but she would never, never come to terms with the knowledge that Chase wanted her to get rid of it. And the fact that he’d actually laughed about it made her physically ill.

Maddy clamped her hand over her mouth to stifle the anguished sob that tore from her lips then turned and fled towards the stairs, sloshing water all over the floor and herself as she ran. Intent on getting back to the bedroom so she could get dressed and make her escape before Chase came to check on her, she missed her footing and stumbled on the first step. Her stomach did a wild flip as she grabbed for the banister, forgetting that she still clutched the glass in her hand. She let out a cry of pain when the glass shattered, the jagged shards tearing at the fleshy part of her palm and slicing into her fingers.

Maddy stared at the crimson liquid pooling in her hand, cursing herself for being so clumsy and making such a ruckus because the rapidly approaching footsteps meant she’d lost her chance to get out before Chase noticed. She glanced over her shoulder just in time to see his look of concern morph into one of genuine alarm when he spotted the blood. But it wasn’t real, Maddy told herself. None of the feelings he’d claimed to have for her or the happiness he’d express over having this baby were real. It was over. Everything she’d dreamed of, hoped for, loved, was gone.

“Maddy! Oh God, baby, you’re hurt!” Chase reached for her hand but she snatched it away, her eyes wide and frightened as if he was somehow responsible for her injuries. He forced himself to remain calm, though he was as far from calm as he’d ever been in his life. “Honey, listen to me. We need to clean your hand off and see if you need stitches. Let me…”