A MATTER OF TRUST (20 page)

****

Chase drove around for an hour before heading back to house so Maddy wouldn’t question why he was back so early. His resolve not to tell her what happened began to wane on the drive home, however, because he had to consider the possibility Angela would find a way to get to Maddy. It would seem suspicious if he didn’t say anything and then Angela was able to relay not only that he’d been at the hotel but exactly what time he’d arrived. The problem was it would be even harder to refute that he’d spent only a few minutes with Angela since he hadn’t returned to the house right away. But the truth was far less damaging than the fibs he’d been about to tell, and Maddy would appreciate that because she was so honest herself.

“You’re home early,” Maddy exclaimed when he joined her on the balcony.

Chase drew her into his arms. “God, I missed you.”

She buried her face in his chest, allowing herself these few moments of closeness before she began to speak. She’d spoken with Lydia shortly after he’d gone and been rebuked for not providing a list of the people she wanted invited to the wedding and she’d promised to hand it over the following day. But if she was to keep that promise, Maddy needed to tell Chase about her father first. She’d been rehearsing what she’d say as she started writing out the list, but now that the time had come to tell him she couldn’t remember one single word of it. Regardless of whether she was prepared or not, it couldn’t be delayed any longer.

Tilting her head back, she offered a timid smile. “I’m glad you’re home, there’s something I need to talk to you about.”

“Sounds serious.”

“It…it’s about my parents.”

“Ah, so you’ve finally decided it’s time we meet,” he teased.

“You can’t meet them yet.” Maddy pulled away from him. “Maybe we should go inside.”

Chase followed her into the living room, a little uneasy as he took his place beside her on the sofa. “What is it? Are you worried we won’t get along?”

“No, it’s not that. The truth is…I haven’t told them about the baby yet.”

That admission knocked him for a loop. “You haven’t…for God’s sake, Maddy, why not?” He gripped her hands in his, desperately trying to squash the fear churning in his stomach. “You’re not having seconds thoughts are you? Because if you think I’m only marrying you just because of the baby, you’re dead wrong. Or is it because you think that’s what your parents will believe? It doesn’t matter, honey. I don’t care what anyone thinks as long as you…”

“I’m not having second thoughts. Chase, I love you with all my heart and there’s nothing I want more than to be your wife.”

“Then why haven’t you said anything to your parents about the baby?”

“Because when I told my father we were getting married, he asked if we were rushing it because I was pregnant and I told him no. But there’s another reason I haven’t brought you to meet them. Chase, you know him. He’s one of your clients.”

His brows drew together. “But I thought…”

“I know,” she said softly. “You thought I came from a family that had little money.”

Every muscle in his body tensed at the look of guilt that washed over her face. “I don’t understand. That car…and you only have a handful of clothes, and…”

“I know I misled you a little, but in my defense you just assumed I had no money because of those things. I never actually told you that.”

“So you’re not the struggling artist I believed you to be,” he said rigidly.

Maddy shook her head. “No, I…I’m Alexander St. Claire’s daughter.”

Chase gaped at her as if she’d sprouted an extra head. “Senator St. Claire?”

“Yes.”

“But you told me your last name was Sawyer.”

“Sawyer is my mother’s maiden name. I didn’t want the St. Claire name to influence the directors of the art galleries I took my paintings to, surely you can understand that?”

Chase rose from the sofa, wondering if he’d ever known her at all. How could he, when everything they had together was based on a lie? “You should have told me. You should have trusted me enough to tell me who you really were.”

She looked up at him, her eyes pleading with him to forgive her. “I’m sorry, Chase.”

“You’re sorry,” he said bitterly. “You wait until our wedding is only a month away to tell me the woman I love isn’t who I thought she was?”

Maddy jumped to her feet. “But I am the same person you fell in love with. Just because my last name is St. Claire doesn’t change who I am inside.”

“It’s not about your name, it’s about trust.” He turned his heated gaze on her. “You’ve had plenty of time to tell me and yet you chose to keep it a secret. Why? I’m a wealthy man; you couldn’t possibly think I’d be intimated by your father’s money, or yours for that matter.”

“Not intimidated, but…” Maddy wrapped her arms around her waist, chilled to the bone by the icy stare he was giving her. “You don’t know what it’s like being the Senator’s daughter, always having to pretend to be someone you’re not. I was afraid that if you knew, you’d be disappointed. I know you like taking care of me and if you knew I had money…”

“I’d see you in a different light.”

“Yes.”

“So you lied.”

“No, I…I just omitted to tell you who my father was.”

His tone was accusatory. “Omission is the same as lying, Maddy.”

“Chase, please…”

“Please what? Forgive that you’ve lied to me from the beginning? Pretend you’re the same woman I fell in love with? I’m sorry, Maddy, but I’m not even sure I know who you really are. I’m tired,” he said abruptly. “I’m going to bed. We’ll talk about this tomorrow.”

Maddy watched him walk away, feeling more miserable than she’d ever been in her entire life. She wandered back outside, numbed with the fear that her dishonesty might have cost her Chase’s love. And how could she blame him? How could she expect him to love someone who lied to him and betrayed his trust? It was quite some time before she trudged upstairs, no closer to figuring out how she’d make it right than when she’d first asked herself the question. The heaviness in her heart only intensified when she found Chase curled up on the edge of the bed, as far away from her side as he could possibly get.

Maddy backed out of the bedroom, the pain so raw she barely had the fortitude to stumble across the hall to the guest room she’d slept in when she first arrived. She fell across the bed, and in spite of her determination not to cry, a harsh sob tore from her throat followed by a steady stream of tears. The fact that he’d told her they’d talk about it tomorrow did little to comfort her because she knew it would have to wait until he got off work. And the message he’d sent by sleeping on the edge of the bed had been loud and clear; he didn’t want any physical contact with her. How was she going to get through the day knowing this was between them? For that matter, how was she going to get through the night?

Chapter 12

Chase drummed his fingers on the desk, thoroughly disgusted with himself for the way he’d handled things with Maddy last night. Omission is the same as lying, he’d told her, but wasn’t that exactly why he’d driven around for an hour after the ordeal with Angela? Hadn’t he given serious thought to keeping the whole sordid story to himself so Maddy wouldn’t give any credence to the playboy image he’d had before he met her? Even worse was the nagging feeling that he’d grabbed at the chance to argue with her just so he could forestall the inevitable. No, that was wrong. The worst part was waking up to find that Maddy had spent the night in the other room.

He’d known the bed was empty the moment he’d opened his eyes and it had hurt far more than Maddy’s admission that she was Alexander St. Claire’s daughter. What the hell had he been thinking when he told her he didn’t know who she was? He knew her heart, knew she was kind and loving and that she’d made him happier in the little time they’d been together than he’d ever been in his life. How could he blame her for wanting him to see her as she really was? He couldn’t imagine how she’d ever coped with mingling among the society snobs, not with Maddy’s shy, gentle nature. How happy she must have been to break free of that, and how miserable she must have been when he’d condemned her for trying to avoid being shoved back into the image of a politician’s daughter.

He’d found her curled up into a tight ball, looking so small and vulnerable in the middle of the king sized bed. Her eyelids were red and swollen and it was obvious by the tangled mess of blankets that she’d had a restless night and probably hadn’t fallen asleep until the wee hours of the morning. He’d done this to her, Chase thought in utter dismay. He’d made her cry, made her feel so despondent she hadn’t felt welcome in his bed. He’d hurt her, and the emotional distress wasn’t good for the baby either. God, he’d been such an insensitive ass.

Chase had leaned over and brushed a light kiss to her forehead then dragged the comforter over her shoulders. He wanted to wake her and assure her there was nothing to worry about, that he loved her with all his heart, but even in sleep she looked tired and drawn so he’d left to go take his shower and get ready for work. He’d checked on her again before he headed out and it wasn’t until he was settled at his desk that he realized he should have left a note.

All he would have needed to write was that he loved her and it would have put her mind to rest but he hadn’t thought of it, and with his first appointment due to arrive soon, Chase didn’t have time to run back home. Reluctant to call and wake her, he’d done the next best thing and called the florist and ordered a huge bouquet of wildflowers along with a balloon that said I love you on it.

He’d call her later, after she’d had a chance to sleep for a few more hours, and then maybe he’d take her to lunch. Or maybe he’d just go home and make love to her so she’d know that nothing had changed, that he still loved her and wanted to marry her. As a matter of fact, he’d call Alexander too. He’d smooth the way for Maddy by telling her father about that baby and that Maddy hadn’t known about it until recently. And he’d also let the Senator know in no uncertain terms that he was not to upset Maddy in any way. She’d had enough emotional turmoil because of Chase, she didn’t need to have anymore thrust on her.

Maybe she didn’t need him to take care of her financially, but she still needed him to take care of her in other ways and that’s just what he intended to do. He wouldn’t be the cause of even one more sad tear and he’d be damned if he’d let anyone else cause her heartache either.

***

The sound of a car pulling up to the house had Maddy’s heart thundering in her chest. She’d hoped Chase would wake her before he left for work but apparently he’d still been angry and needed some time away time before they talked. Her stomach fluttered nervously as she made her way down stairs then sank when the doorbell sounded. It wasn’t Chase. He hadn’t come home early as she’d hoped, which meant he was still upset with her. Maddy peeked out the window, not entirely surprised to see it was the man who delivered next day air packages; there was usually one or two a week, though they didn’t usually require a signature. This on apparently did.

Maddy signed for the letter envelope then stepped back inside, her overwrought nerves growing even more edgy when she saw who it was from. Angela Donelli. And it was addressed to Maddy the Maid. What nasty little surprise had the woman thought up to torture her with now? She held it in her hand for several minutes, gnawing at her lip and contemplating not opening it at all, but eventually curiosity over road caution and she tore the seal. Maddy stuck her hand inside and pulled out the contents, letting the envelope drop to the floor. Her heart froze, the air in her lungs eeked out and refused to be drawn back in. Everything around her faded out except the photographs that were clutched in her hand; those remained cruelly in focus and in full living color.

****

Maddy choked back the sob that tore at her throat and slowly sifted through the pictures Angela had sent. They were in succession, no doubt so that Maddy could see his progress as he advanced towards his lover’s waiting arms. Chase standing outside a hotel, then another of him in the lobby. Angela greeting him at the door in a translucent nightie. In the next frame, an embrace, then Chase disappearing inside her room. It was like having a knife thrust into her heart then viciously twisted as each new photo was revealed. But it was the last picture that threw Maddy over the edge and had her making a mad dash for the bathroom.

Everything she’d eaten that morning was violently thrown up, her stomach heaving long after there was nothing left but a raw throat and rasping cough. Maddy hauled herself over to the sink and washed off her face, dragging in huge gulps of air until she was sure she wouldn’t pass out. She glanced at herself in the mirror, at the wide, frightened eyes and trembling lips. She looked like a woman who’d just found out the man she loved more than lift itself had cheated on her. It’s a matter of trust. Isn’t that what Chase had told her just last night? Trust. Deceit. Chase and Angela.