A Million Dirty Secrets (25 page)

My hands were shaking so badly I had to set down the coffee mug I was holding, for fear that I might drop it, or throw it across the room at a wall, or whatever. “He told you?” My voice was relatively calm, which surprised the heck out of me.

“No, no, no, no, nooooo. Please, Lanie, it’s not his fault,” she pleaded desperately, like she was trying to fix everything. “See, I do all his household accounting, and I saw the money transfer and confronted him about it. I put two and two together and ascertained that the money was transferred around the same time you showed up. And then, well, you know how I am already. I started to do some digging. But, to be fair, if you had just told me the truth when we first met, I wouldn’t have had to. I mean, you were talking about Elvis, Tupac, MJ, drag queens … And Noah wasn’t any help, either. When I asked him about the money, he said you used to be a man and it was for your sex change operation, and—”

“Ho, ho, hoooo!” I belted out, stopping her. “Wait, what did you just say?”

Polly took a deep breath. “Which part? Or do you want me to start all over again?”

“God, no. I don’t think my brain could take that a second time.” I pinched the bridge of my nose because I had a massive headache threatening to break loose courtesy of all the yammering and revelations that were being thrown at me. “Polly? Did you say Noah told you I used to be a man and had a sex change?”

“Yeah, but he also said he was joking,” she said with a shrug
and then her eyes got wide as saucers. “He was joking, right? You didn’t really have a schlong, did you?”

“Yes!” I screeched.

“Yes, you had a schlong?” she asked with an expression of shock—and, possibly, even a wee bit of curiosity—on her face.

“No, Polly. Yes, he was joking,” I clarified. Noah Crawford had it coming big-time.

Vengeance would be mine.

“Good. I mean that’s … good,” she said with a sigh of relief. And then she propped her elbow up on the table with her chin in her hand. “Lanie, honey, why did you do it? Why did you sell yourself for sex?”

“It’s personal, Polly. And I don’t want you to go snooping around to find out. If you do, I swear I’ll kick your scrawny little ass,” I warned. She crossed her heart in a silent promise not to. “Besides, Noah doesn’t even know.”

“Yeah, and I’m sure he hasn’t pressed the issue with you, either, especially since that would mean he’d then have to tell you about Julie. The cow,” she murmured.

“Wait, that’s the second time you’ve said her name. What’s the deal with this chick? Is she an ex-girlfriend or something?” If anyone was going to spill the beans, it would be Polly. She had probably told me more than she was supposed to in the first place.

“I swear if he ever finds out about this, he’s going to fire me for real, and probably Mason, too. You know, the whole guilt-by-association thing. And then we’ll be homeless with nowhere to go, no money to shop with—”

“Tragic,” I muttered sarcastically.

“I know, right?” she said as if it really was. “Okay, look; I’ll tell you, but only after you tell me what the real deal is between you and Noah.”

I thought about the dream, but that was all it had been. Right? Noah could never feel that way about me, no matter how good I was at deep-throating his colossal cock. “The real deal is that it’s a business transaction, Polly. Nothing more,” I said matter-of-factly.

“I’m not buying it, Lanie. You can lie to Noah, or even to yourself for that matter, but I don’t believe it,” she said, calling me out. “I heard you. Before I woke you up. You were talking in your sleep, and from the sounds of it, you’ve got it bad for the boss man, sister.”

“Goddamnit, Polly! Is there ever a time when you’re not being nosy?” I asked, offended by the invasion of privacy.

“Hey! Don’t you use the Lord’s name in vain with me!” she chastised me, her finger wagging.

I put my elbows on the table and ran my hands through my hair in frustration. “I’m sorry, Polly. Look, this isn’t exactly an ideal situation for me. I’m falling for the man who paid enough money to feed a starving village for longer than I have any knowledge of, just so he can get in my pants anytime he wants with no strings attached. And try as I might to hate him, I can’t! What’s wrong with me? It’s not Stockholm syndrome, because I haven’t exactly been kidnapped and I’m not being kept here against my will. I signed on for this, but it’s getting to be too real. You know?”

Polly nodded with a sincere look on her face as I continued to ramble on. “And with all the stuff I have going on back
home, all I can do is throw up my hands and say, ‘Jesus, please take the wheel’—which isn’t going to do me a whole hell of a lot of good, because the life I’m living isn’t exactly saintly—but I have no clue what I’m doing here. And I seem to be digging myself in further and further. I mean, I know I’m just a whore to him, and that he could never feel anything for me that’s even remotely close to the mad crush I have on him, but … ugh!”

I took a deep breath. My face was flaming hot and I thought I might start crying at any moment. No way was I going to do that because it would make me look weak and even more vulnerable. But I was thankful that I could get at least some of it off my chest before a complete and total mental breakdown crept up on me. Because I was seriously close to that happening.

Polly seemed to really get me, though, and contrary to her usual manner, she simply listened and let me vent without trying to force me to go into any more detail. There were no words to describe my gratitude.

She stretched an arm across the counter and took my hand in hers with a comforting smile. “You’re carrying a pretty big burden, huh?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Polly and I both started laughing at the same time. Not a full-on belly laugh, one of those laughs where we both recognized how ridiculous my statement sounded after the huge load I had just dumped.

“Don’t worry, sweetie. You’re going to get through this. And you never know what might happen. I mean, Noah isn’t
incapable of having feelings. At least, I don’t think he is. I’m sure that nasty little debacle with Julie was only a minor setback and not something that will leave him emotionally scarred for the rest of his life.”

“Yeah, you were going to tell me about that. What’s the deal with him and that chick?”

“Well, she’s a total bitch, for one,” she started with a disgruntled sneer. “Noah dated her for two years, give or take a lifetime. Her father, Dr. Everett Frost, is a really close friend of the family and that’s pretty much how they hooked up.”

“I, um, I met Dr. Frost,” I said, remembering his name from the appointment.

“Yeah, Everett’s a good guy. I don’t judge him by his offspring,” she said. “Anyway, Noah went away on a business trip, but he’d decided—against all better judgment—to propose to her when he got back. For some unknown reason, he thought he loved her. I’m not so sure he really knew what love was, and I’m still not convinced that he does even now. But anyway, he came home only to find his beloved Julie getting rammed in the ass by his best friend.”

I gasped and put my hand over my heart. I wasn’t doing it for dramatic effect; it was a completely natural reaction to my shock. “Oh, no …”

“Yeah, ‘oh, no’ is putting it mildly,” Polly said. “Needless to say, Noah’s heart was crushed, or maybe it was just his ego, but either way, he was devastated.” She paused and looked at me with this fearsome, overprotective mother-bear expression in her eyes. “And Lanie, I simply don’t know if he can take any more. So if this thing between you two really does advance to another level, you keep that in mind. We clear?”

How sweet was that? She was about as big as a mosquito and every bit as annoying, and there she was, sounding all authoritative and issuing a thug’s warning. Somehow, though, I didn’t put it past her to follow through. Not that it was anything she’d have to be concerned about, because Noah Crawford didn’t feel that way about me and I was going to fight against every urge I had to make sure I didn’t put myself in front of that train either. Any type of feeling I was developing for him would have to be buried somewhere deep inside, lest my heart get ripped to shreds in the hands of the one man with enough power over me to do so.

“Perfectly clear, Polly. No worries. Although I really don’t think Noah is the one you’re going to have to worry about getting hurt in this equation.”

“Yeah, I get that. I know he seems like a hard-ass on the outside, but when he lets the real him shine through …” She sighed. “He’s got some real potential to be all that and a bag of chips. So I can absolutely see where there’s cause for worry.”

“Ah, don’t say that, Polly,” I whined, and put my head in my hands.

“Sorry, babe.” She stood and patted my shoulder. “Keep your chin up, and believe for all you’re worth that what’s meant to be will be.” She winked at me before grabbing her clutch and tucking it under her arm. “I have errands to run. I’ll talk to you later.”

She gave me a chaste kiss on the cheek, and then all I heard was the clip-clop sound of her heels as she walked away, leaving me there to dwell on all my issues. The funny thing was that I didn’t dwell on it. I was more concerned about Noah and the horrible stuff he’d been through.

Yeah, my problems were probably tons more pressing, what with my mother dying a little more each day, but it was the nurturing side of me—and probably my perpetual state of denial—that made me push that aside for the time being and just feel for him. I couldn’t imagine walking in on my best friend and my guy going at it like that.

I cursed myself when an image of Dez and Noah together flashed behind my eyes and sent a shiver down my spine. Hell would freeze over before that would happen. I knew it, but if it ever did, Hell still wouldn’t be anywhere near as cold as my heart.

Poor Noah. That explained why a wealthy man with looks to kill and a body to die for would stoop so low as to purchase a woman—so she could never pull something like that on him again.

Stoop so low … that would put me on the bottom of the barrel then, wouldn’t it? Of course it would. Even though I wasn’t good enough for him, I pledged to make sure I took care of him the way he needed and wanted me to, if only for the couple of years I was bound to him.

Ten minutes to purchase her.

One hour to get her lips wrapped around my cock.

Three days to taste her juices.

Four days to pop her cherry.

Two weeks to lose my fucking mind.

Shit.

Just over two weeks. Fifteen goddamn days.

That was all it took for one purchased virgin to get me all kinds of wrapped around her cute little pinky. In the two years that Julie and I had been together, she never once managed to pull that off. But Delaine? My whole world had been turned upside down in just two motherfucking weeks.

It wasn’t at all how this was supposed to go down. How in the hell was I going to last two years when I’d already give her anything she asked for on a silver platter? Fucking Candy-Ass Crawford, that was what I should’ve changed my name to.

Goddamnit.

I had done nothing but think about her all day at the office. And that was exactly why I pulled a desperate move like having Samuel bring her with him to pick me up. Yeah, I could’ve easily had him break every traffic law there was in the state of Illinois to get me to her quicker, but when I started to entertain the thought of purchasing a helicopter so that I could avoid the delay of rush hour traffic, I decided having her brought to me was probably the best alternative.

I was sick in the head. And I probably should’ve looked into some sort of twelve-step program for my new obsession because there was no way it could have been healthy.

Samuel pulled up to the curb where I was waiting impatiently, and before he could get out and open the door for me, I held my hand up to stop him. I’d get to her so much faster if I opened the door myself. I wrenched it open, and there she was … my million-dollar baby, wearing nothing but my robe and a pair of spike heels, just as I had requested when I called her earlier in the afternoon. And fuck me running, she was
lounging back on the seat with the black silk of the robe open and hanging off her shoulders as it pooled around her body. Which was all her doing; I hadn’t requested that, but I was overjoyed that she’d taken some initiative.

She was all cream and silk, and goddamn it, she was fondling her breast with one hand while the other caressed the flat plane of her stomach. Her naked flesh had only ever been touched by one other person like that—me—and it almost seemed to be beckoning me once more.

My lips curled back into a protective snarl I didn’t even realize I was emitting as I scanned the area around me to see if anyone else had gotten an eyeful of my woman. I had to have her, had to mark my fucking territory, and I could not and would not wait until we were back to the seclusion of the house.

“Home, Samuel,” I growled. “And take the scenic route or whatever. Just don’t disturb us.”

“As you wish, sir.” He nodded, then got back in the driver’s seat.

I quickly stepped inside and closed the door to shut the outside world out and keep Delaine’s hidden treasures all to myself. Because I was a selfish bastard and I never shared. Ever. I didn’t even want anyone else to see what I’d laid claim to.

I knelt before her, threw my briefcase and the jacket I was holding to the side, and quickly undid my belt and pants before shoving them over my hips. My dick sprang free and I grabbed it to keep it from bouncing around all awkwardly.

“Get it wet for me, kitten,” I said as I angled myself so that I was right in front of her face. God bless her, she licked her
lips and eyed me hungrily before leaning forward and opening her mouth to take me in.

I stopped her. “Not like that. Lick it, baby. I want to watch your tongue work me.”

She gave me a sexy smirk and then flicked her tongue out to gather up the spot of pre-come on the tip. My dick twitched of its own accord and I hissed through my teeth. She kept her eyes on me as she wrapped her hand around the base of my cock and flattened her tongue out to give it a long lick from bottom to top.