A Perfect Match (7 page)

‘And you said?’

‘I said yes of course. He’s my brother, I’m hardly going to say no.’

‘So you’ve invited your brother and his wife and their three children to our house for Christmas without discussing it with me?’

‘I’m discussing it with you now.’

‘No, you’re telling me now.’

‘Well, I think it’ll be nice to have Henry and co. around. We see your family all the time, I hardly ever get to spend time with my brother. Besides, it’ll be fun having children around at Christmas.’

‘And when you and Henry are off drinking pints of Guinness, who is going to be entertaining Imogen and the kids?’

‘They can entertain themselves. Look, it’ll be fine. Don’t get all het up about it.’

‘I’m not getting het up,’ I lied, as my temperature rose a few degrees. ‘But, I still find it really hard being around babies, you know that.’

‘I understand, darling, but you can’t avoid children. They’re a fact of life and we’re on the road to having our own now, so it’ll be good practice for us to have kids around,’ said James, looking very pleased with himself for having come up with that excuse.

‘Well, I don’t think my mother’s going to be too happy about having to feed the cast of Gandhi on Christmas day. She finds cooking for her own family a stretch.’

‘I thought we could have dinner at home this year.’

‘Excuse me?’

‘Imogen’s a great cook so I’m sure she’ll be happy to help you and you’re not so bad yourself when you put your mind to it. I can pitch in if needs be.’

‘It seems that pitching in is your forte. You’ve just pitched right in and ruined not only my Christmas holidays, but you are also now trying to ruin my Christmas dinner. I love Christmas Day in my parents’ house with the sing-song and the selection boxes.’

‘To be honest, I could live without the sing-song,’ said James, who always squirmed, as we howled out Christmas carols after overeating and drinking.

‘Singing is part of the magic of Christmas Day. You’re just jealous because you never had any craic in your house, and had to sit around listening to the Queen’s message.’

‘I’ll have you know that the Queen’s annual address to the nation was one of the many highlights of Christmas Day in our house.’

‘Along with Santa not turning up, famine in Africa …’

‘Smart-arse.’

‘Just admit it’s more fun in my house.’

‘Marginally livelier. Anyway, the point is, I don’t think it’s fair on your mother to have Henry and co. landed on her for dinner.’

‘What about them being landed on me for a week? Where’s the fair in that?’

‘Marry me, marry my family,’ said James, stealing the phrase I always used whenever he complained about my family – which was very rare.

‘Look, you call Mum and ask her. She’d never say no to you. Besides, by Christmas Day, we’ll all need a change of scene after four days living in each other’s pockets.’

James called Mum.

‘Hello, Mrs Burke, James here.’

‘Oh, helloooooo, James,’ I heard my mother coo down the phone. She loved that James still called her Mrs Burke. She thought it was very gendemanly of him.

‘I’m sorry to land this on you, but my brother Henry and his wife and three children are coming over for Christmas and we were going to have dinner here, but Emma said she’d radier go to your house as usual, so I wanted to check how you felt about having five more mouths to feed. I quite understand if it’s too much trouble.’

‘Not at all, James, it’ll be a pleasure to have them. We’ll be delighted to see them again.’

‘Thank you, that’s very kind of you.’

‘The more the merrier. We’ll have a really good sing-song this year,’ Mum bellowed down the phone as I stifled a giggle and James buried his head in his hands.

‘I look forward to it,’ said son-in-law of the year.

8

A month later I was standing on the sidelines of a rugby pitch with Lucy. We huddled together to keep warm. It was the first match in the European Cup and Leinster were playing some team from England – I think it might have been Bath. Now that Lucy was living with Donal, she felt obliged to support him. It was great having her with me to cheer them on at matches.

‘So what exactly is going on here?’ asked Lucy. She had never been to a rugby match. She was an only child and her father had left her mother when Lucy was five years old and moved to America with his mistress. He was an extremely successful property developer and she was always well provided for financially, but she definitely missed not having any males in the house. Sport was not something she had ever watched.

I wasn’t exactly Des Lynam myself, but I knew a bit about rugby from growing up widi Dad and Sean watching die international matches. I had also obviously picked up a bit more info now diat I was married to James, though I did tend to switch off when he started describing new tactical moves to me. Know your audience, James!

‘The easiest way to describe it is this. Numbers nine to fifteen run around a lot, and pass the ball to each other in a long line across the pitch. Number ten kicks the ball when diey have penalties. He’s deffo a key player – James was very grumpy last year when he was injured. Numbers one to eight spend most of the time in the muck with ten other players lying on top of them. The only time you really notice them is during the line-ups when the number two throws the ball in and they all leap up to catch it. That’s really where Donal comes in. He’s brilliant at jumping up and catching the ball and then they all pile on top of him and he gets squished into the mud again.’

‘So, what you’re saying is, number six is a crap position because you spend the whole time face down at the bottom of a pile-up,’ said Lucy, looking disappointed that Donal’s position wasn’t a bit more glamorous.

Well, James says it’s a key position, but personally I think number fifteen has the best spot, he just jogs around at the back and catches the odd ball when it’s hoofed down his end of the pitch. Donal’s position is more dangerous. You have to be tough and strong which is why he’s so good at it,’ I said, trying to build Donal up. ‘Look, they’re doing a line-up. Watch Donal jump.’

Lucy peered down the pitch and watched as Donal jumped up and caught the ball.

‘Hey, he didn’t jump, the other guy lifted him up. Isn’t that cheating?’ asked Lucy.

‘No, they do that all the time, it seems to be OK.’

‘I hope he doesn’t get injured again. You should see the scars on his body, he’s a wreck. He reckons he’s only got two more years left. He says he’s pretty old to still be playing.’

‘What age is he?’

‘Thirty-two,’ mumbled Lucy.

‘What? Toy boy! I never knew he was younger than you. I always presumed he was the same age as James,’ I said, laughing.

‘There’s only thirty months in the difference. It’s not exactly cradle snatching.’

‘Ivana Trump – eat your heart out. So, anyway, how’s living with the younger man going? Has he peed on you yet?’

‘Very funny. Thankfully we’ve come to an understanding on that one.’

‘How did you manage that?’

‘Simple. I bought a lock for the door, which he never uses, but I do. So I can now bathe in peace. I must say, living together takes a while to get used to. Dealing with smelly jocks and socks and toenails is a bit gross,’ she said, squirming at the thought.

‘Tell me about it. And you get lumped with their mad families. James has taken it upon himself to invite Henry, Imogen and the three kids over to stay with us for Christmas.’

‘Oh God, for how long?’

‘A week. Speaking of relations, you never told me how you got on with Annie when she was home from boarding school.’

‘I didn’t tell you because I don’t even want to admit to myself what a total nightmare it was. I’ve been trying to convince myself it wasn’t that bad.’

‘Oh no, Lucy, what happened?’

Lucy said that she had stayed in work late on the Friday night, so Annie and Donal could have some time together. She had checked with Donal to see what Annie’s favourite foods were, and had duly stocked the fridge full of them. When she arrived home, Donal and Annie were watching MTV and discussing Justin Timberlake’s assets. Annie said he was the most divine creature she had ever seen and Donal said he thought he was a mangy looking yoke with eyes that were far too small for his head.

‘I have to agree with Annie,’ said Lucy, trying to start on the right foot. ‘Justin is a fine thing.’

Donal got up to kiss her, while Annie made sick noises.

‘Oh God, you’re not going to start snogging are you?’ she said grumpily.

‘No, although I can’t say I’m not tempted,’ said Donal, winking at Lucy. ‘I’m going to go and book the cinema tickets and let you girls chat.’

‘So,’ said Lucy, ‘how’s school?’

‘Fine,’ said the bolshie teenager.

‘Great. Uhm, I was wondering if you’d like to do up your bedroom. It’d be a kind of house-warming present from me. If you pick the colours and fabrics, I can organize for it to be finished for the next time you come home. I was thinking we could go into town tomorrow and have a look around so you can see what you like.’

‘Do you really think I want to spend my free weekend going around bedroom shops with a forty-year-old woman? I always spend the day with Donal on our own.’

‘OK, well, it was just an idea. Don’t worry, I won’t interfere with your time with Donal. Now, would you like lasagne? I picked some up on the way home in a great delicatessen beside me in work. Donal said it’s your favourite.’

‘I only like the lasagne Mary used to make for me. She was an amazing cook – she’d never buy ready-made food from a shop.’

‘Who’s Mary?’ said Lucy, beginning to lose patience.

‘Donal’s girlfriend. She was amazing, I loved her. They were nearly married until you came along,’ she snapped.

What the hell is going on, thought Lucy. She had met Mary six months before at a dog-racing meet that Donal had taken her to. Mary had been really rude to Lucy and very flirty with Donal, but he had made out that he’d only dated her briefly. Had he been lying? If she was living in the house making lasagne for Annie, she must have been more than a casual fling. Before she could think of anything to say, Donal strolled back in.

‘OK, we’re booked in for the nine-thirty show. I’ve put the lasagne in the oven.’

‘Actually, Donal, can you help me in the kitchen for a minute?’ asked Lucy.

He followed her in and looked around.

‘What do you need me to do?’

‘How long did you go out with Mary the cordon bleu chef for?’

‘Jesus, where did that come from? I thought you wanted me to chop tomatoes.’

‘How long?’

‘I dunno, a few months.’

‘A few, meaning two, or a few, meaning twenty?’

‘Eight, maybe ten, I can’t remember.’

‘Were you serious about her?’

‘Serious enough to shag her,’ said Donal, grinning.

‘Donal!’

‘No, I wasn’t serious about her.’

‘How come she was hanging out here making lasagne for Annie if it was such a casual relationship?’

‘She stayed over the odd time and liked to cook. What’s all this about? Is it really about her cooking?’

‘Not really,’ sighed Lucy. ‘It’s about Annie not liking me very much and thinking Mary was wonderful. I’m going to let the two of you go to the cinema alone. She likes to have you to herself and I don’t mind.’

‘Hold on a minute, you’re coming to the cinema and that’s the end of it. As for Mary, Annie never seemed all that keen on her before, maybe she was just talking about her cooking,’ said Donal. Kissing Lucy, he added, ‘Annie’s going to love you – as much as I do. She just needs to get to know you better.’

Lucy smiled. Sod it, she thought, as long as Donal loves me, the rest doesn’t matter. Annie will come around; she’s just at a difficult age.

During dinner, Annie behaved politely and was almost nice to Lucy. So when Donal went to get the popcorn at the cinema and Annie turned on her, Lucy was shocked.

‘I wouldn’t get too comfortable if I was you. Painting the house cream and trying to lick up to me isn’t going to work. Donal doesn’t want to get married and have children. He told me himself before you came back. He doesn’t like having someone around nagging him all the time. So, don’t bother spending any more money painting the house because it’s a waste of time. You won’t last till Christmas.’

Lucy wanted to slap her – but restrained herself. For once in her life she had met a guy she really loved. Someone she was completely herself with and now this little brat was trying to ruin it.

‘It’s awful, Emma,’ said Lucy, half laughing, half crying. ‘I keep having to remind myself that this poor child lost her parents in a horrible car crash and is obviously affected very badly by it, but, right there and then in the cinema, I really wanted to slap her. I’m an adult, I should know better. I should be more sympathetic and not take it personally, but I do. I can’t help it.’

‘little cow,’ I said, furious at Annie for upsetting Lucy. ‘She’s just trying to wind you up. She’s obviously terrified of losing Donal and thinks if he marries you and has kids she’ll get left out.’

‘Yeah, but she seemed to be fine about him going out with Mary.’

‘Mary schMary. I bet she only said that to wind you up. You know Donal loves you. You just need to find a way to deal with his baggage. Maybe you could suggest a truce. Just say, “Look, Annie, we both live here now so let’s try to get on.” Or something like that.’

‘I’ll have to sort it out soon. She’s coming for two weeks at Christmas. I never thought I’d say it, but I’ll be glad to go home to my mother’s house for Christmas Day. At least I’ll have one day off.’

‘I’d invite you to mine if it wasn’t going to be equally awful. God, look at the two of us – lumped with our other halves’ dodgy families.’

‘Yap, yap, yap,’ said Donal, coming up behind us. ‘Well, what did you think of my try?’ he asked Lucy.

‘Fantastic. An ama2ing feat of athleticism,’ she said, smiling.

‘It’s a pity I didn’t score one so.’

‘Did you win?’ I asked, looking around for James.

‘We did and I wanted to come over and thank you both personally for your great support. It was your voices that I heard soaring above the others all afternoon cheering us on.’