A Widow Redefined (21 page)

Her back yard was more like a mini forest preserve, meticulously landscaped. I hoped Tyler would realize he couldn’t just trample through her flowerbeds and plants.

Sabrina opened the large French doors that revealed a massive stone patio, the kind with bits of moss growing in-between. Luckily, I didn’t have to tell Tyler. He glanced at me and caught on quick. We weren’t at home, with weeds fighting to survive no matter how often we pulled them, and sod that faded in the summer sun.

“Whoa,” he said. “Let me look around first. I need to see where I can do this without ruining anything.”

Sabrina and I stood still while he walked around, surveying the area.

“Okay. This spot seems safe for a demonstration.”

We walked closer to where he stood. Then Tyler began shaking his limbs, loosening up.

Sabrina glanced at me and giggled.

“Be prepared,” I said, teasing her.

Of course, she couldn’t be. Unless you’d seen it, it always came as a big surprise.

In a moment, Tyler began running. He came up to a stone bench, did what looked like a cartwheel over it, then landed and began speeding toward the side of the house. Then he did his signature move. He appeared to climb the side of the wall, then flipped over in the air, and landed back on his feet.

“Oh my God!” Sabrina gasped, holding her hand over her mouth.

“Pretty cool, huh?” I said to her.

Sabrina’s eyes were wide. Tyler came sauntering over to get her reaction.

“That was amazing! I’ve never seen anything like it,” she said.

Tyler blushed. “Thanks. I’m still learning this stuff. You should see the older kids.”

I rubbed my son’s head, messing up his hair. He looked up at me and smiled.

Sabrina watched us, then said, “Now you’ve got to be starved.”

We followed her to the kitchen. Then we took a seat at the table.

“Your mom tells me you like vegetarian food,” Sabrina said to Tyler. He looked at her and nodded. “Well I’ve got something prepared you’ll probably like.”

I watched as she turned the oven on and pulled out a few slices of flatbread. Then she sprinkled a little water on each piece and popped them in the stove.

“Have you ever had Mediterranean food?”

My son looked confused, which meant no.

“Well I’ve got some pre-made falafels from Trader Joe’s and I’m going to heat them up and serve them with lettuce, tomato, and tahini sauce. It makes a hearty sandwich.”

“Cool,” my son replied.

I was open to anything. I’d often discovered some of my favorite meals this way in the last year.

Once the sandwiches were ready, Sabrina sat down with us and we began eating. They were delicious. Tyler must have agreed because he wolfed down his whole meal like he’d never eaten before.

“I can help clean up,” I offered after we’d finished.

Sabrina shook her head no. Then she set the dishes in the sink and came back to sit down with us.

“So are you excited to go back to school? It’s coming up soon, isn’t it?”

“Sure,” Tyler replied. “But being off for the summer is fun, too.”

A wide smile crossed Sabrina’s face. “I remember those days like they were yesterday,” she said.

I smirked. “How did you spend your summer vacations?” I asked her.

Sabrina sat up straighter. “Oh, my parents took me and my sister to Europe for about a month. One year it was the French Riviera. I’ll never forget how my sister embarrassed me, pointing out the topless women on the beach. My mom had to apologize and drag both of us away.”

We all laughed.

“Where else did you go?” Tyler asked. He was having so much fun I didn’t think he’d want to go home.

“Ah, let’s see,” Sabrina said, trying to remember. “We went to the Greek islands one year. Italy the next. My parents were a lot of fun.”

“Do you still see them often?” Tyler asked.

Sabrina glanced at me, not sure what to say. I nodded to her.

“No… I don’t,” she said, her voice sounding softer now. “They both passed away in a plane crash.”

Tyler didn’t respond right away. He just stared at Sabrina. He seemed shaken by what she’d said. Then, he reached out and held her hand, acknowledging her loss in his own little way.

“I lost my dad, too,” he replied, looking sad.

“I know,” Sabrina responded. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

Tyler’s eyes met Sabrina’s. They had something in common.

The mood had changed from playful to somber. I figured it was a good time to wrap things up and head home. “Well,” I said, while getting up. “I guess we should be going back soon.”

Sabrina stood up and smoothed the front of her capris. “Of course,” she said. “Thank you both for stopping by.”

I put my hand on her shoulder and said, “Thanks for having us. We had a great time.”

Sabrina walked Tyler and me to the front door and handed us our bags. To my surprise, Tyler turned around and hugged Sabrina goodbye. He never does stuff like that to people he’s just met. Sabrina wasn’t expecting it either.

As I walked down the drive and waved at her, I could see her eyes had filled with tears.

•••••

The drive home was much quieter than the one there. I put on an easy-listening channel and Tyler rested his head on the passenger window, staring out. I knew not to bother him. I would leave him alone with his thoughts.

When we got home, Tyler decided to take a nap. He said he was tired, and I guess he could’ve been from all the swimming. I suspected he also wanted to be by himself so he could talk to Justin.

The following day, after I’d clocked out from work, I noticed I had a voicemail. It was Sabrina. She hoped Tyler didn’t leave her house upset? She was worried he may have had a bad time. She was over-thinking the whole thing.

I decided to call her. She picked up after a few rings.

“Hello?”

“Sabrina?” I asked.

“Amy. Hi. I’m glad you called. I’ve been worried about what I said to your son. I hope I didn’t ruin his day?”

“He’s fine,” I assured her. “Honestly, you don’t have to stress out. He had a blast. He’s dealing with loss just like you did, day by day.”

“I guess,” she said. I could tell I wasn’t convincing her.

“We had a great time. Real life comes up, that’s all. Don’t worry about it. He’s fine.”

“If you say so,” she replied.

There was a long pause, then she said, “Hey, my grandmother sent me some bottles of wine from France. I have to go over new designs this week, for the next collection. How about you come over for a wine tasting and give me your opinion on the clothing?”

I didn’t have any plans, so I accepted. “I could taste some wine with you, but I’m not sure if I can be helpful on spotting the best fashions.”

Sabrina laughed. “Is it possible for you to come over one day this week?”

Weeknights were tough, especially with her living so far away. “I guess I could come on Friday,” I replied. That way, if I had a headache, I could sleep in on Saturday.

“Sounds good,” she said. “See you then.”

The rest of the week flew by. Thankfully, Mom offered to babysit Tyler while I went to Sabrina’s Friday night.

“What are you guys gonna do? Can I come?” Tyler asked.

I frowned. “No honey,” I said. “This time is for grown-ups. She’s going to have me look over some project she brought from work. It’s something you wouldn’t be interested in.”

“Oh,” Tyler said. “Grandma and I are going to watch a movie anyway.” Once he realized we wouldn’t be swimming or doing something fun, he didn’t seem to feel left out.

I leaned down and kissed the top of his head. “You two have fun then. I won’t be gone long.”

Mom waved me off, reassuring me babysitting wasn’t a problem. They would do what we always did that night, except without me.

Driving to Sabrina’s house usually felt relaxing. This time, after working a full day, it drained me. I arrived yawning and continued to do so as I walked toward her front door. I hoped I could stay awake for the short time I’d be there.

Sabrina answered and looked tired too. While I followed her to the living room I noticed an open bottle of white wine sitting on a table, half empty.

“I’ve opened a bottle of Chenin Blanc, from the Loire Valley. Would you like a glass?”

“Sure,” I said, peeking at the nearby appetizers she’d set out: cheeses, crackers, and fruit.

I took a small plate and filled it with a variety of everything. Then she handed me a drink.

I held it up and toasted. “To Grandma.”

Sabrina smiled, her eyes already a little glassy. “Merci Grand-Mère,” she replied.

I took a sip. It was fruity and smooth. I didn’t have much experience in the wine department, but my taste buds told me this one was a winner. “It’s so good,” I said, then bit into a cracker with cheese.

“I know,” she replied. “I’m afraid I started without you, about an hour ago.” She winked at me and flashed a smile.

“Nothing wrong with that. It’s not like you have to drive anywhere, and I’m sure you don’t do it all the time.”

A look of melancholy came over her and she whispered under her breath, “I never do it.”

Who was I to judge? Maybe she decided to let her hair down, to have some fun.

Sabrina munched on a few snacks, finished her drink, and poured herself another. Then she headed across the room and grabbed a big book. She walked back toward me and set the album on a nearby table. She pulled a chair up so I could take a seat. “Go ahead and look through the photos,” she said. “Tell me what you like and what you don’t like.”

I glanced up at her, unsure. What if I said something was ugly and it hurt her feelings? What if I just had bad taste?

Sabrina noticed my hesitation. “Don’t worry. You don’t have to give details,” she assured me. “Just see it and respond.”

She made it seem so simple.

I sat down and took another sip of wine, then I opened the book. The first photo was of a casual dress with a bold, geometric print. “I like this,” I said.

Sabrina took another long swig of her drink. After I’d gone through a few more pages, she stopped me. “Hold on,” she said. “This is good. We are getting somewhere. But first I need to open another bottle of wine.”

I nodded as she walked out of the room. I helped myself to another serving of food, and continued sipping my drink. I wondered why Sabrina was drinking so much. She had said it was out of character for her.

She returned with another opened bottle of wine. After pouring herself a glass she was getting ready to add some to mine.

“No thanks,” I said, stopping her. “I’ve got to drive back later.”

Sabrina set the bottle down. “Of course, I almost forgot.”

She was halfway to drunk by now. I found it amusing.

Sabrina waved a hand, motioning for me to look at more of the collection photos. I felt bad when I came upon an outfit I didn’t care for. “Don’t like,” I announced.

She grabbed a red sticky note and stuck it to the top of the page, then said, “Please go on.”

I continued making my way through the photos, commenting as I went along. In the background, I heard her pour another glass. Then another.

A little while later, as I approached the end of the book, I heard sniffles. I looked up at Sabrina, and she was crying.

“Is everything all right?” I asked.

Sabrina wiped tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand, then said, “Sure… Everything is as it should be.”

I had no idea what she meant by that. I stood there and watched as she continued crying, destroying her makeup. I handed her my cocktail napkin and she used it to wipe away some of the smudged mess.

“Is there something wrong?” I asked. “I mean, if you want to talk, I’m here for you.”

Sabrina began sobbing harder now. “I know you are,” she said.

I’d never seen her act like this, so I just stood there, staring, while she cried like a baby.

Finally she calmed down a little and began to speak. With a raspy voice she mumbled, “I’ve been reading that email you sent me over and over. The one where you told me I was the best friend you ever had, and thanked me for all my help.”

Her reaction didn’t make sense. “It was a compliment. Nothing to get upset over,” I assured her.

Sabrina shot me an odd look, one that didn’t seem to match the conversation we were having.

“It’s just,” she went on, between sniffles, “I want more than anything for that to be true. I want to be that person.”

Of course she was that person. This was probably just the alcohol speaking. “Come on now,” I told her. “You know it’s true. Please just accept my gratitude and be happy about it. Don’t cry.”

She paused, wiped her face again, and looked up at me. “No. It’s not true,” she said. “I’m not the person you think I am.”

As my eyes locked with hers, an old, familiar ping gripped my gut.

Sabrina must have sensed that I understood. She surely noticed the slight flicker of panic on my face, because once again she began to cry. I wanted more than anything to sit down, but I couldn’t; I was rooted in place by fear.

Sabrina set her wine glass on the table. She managed to clear her throat and calm down enough to continue. “You see… we are good friends… now.”

She paused, and it felt like an eternity before she continued, “But it wasn’t always this way,” she said.

I stood still, listening.

“When Justin worked here, you didn’t exist to me
.
”

I didn’t like where she was going with this.

“I’m a woman with money and power. Most anything I want, I can usually have. And I know how to get what I want.”

My body heat rose as Sabrina spoke. My insides began to quiver. Still, I said nothing.

“But,” she said, and this was followed by a long pause, “the one thing I wanted most—.”

“Justin,” I said.

“Yes,” she agreed, then lowered her eyes.

A wave of disappointment hit me like a tsunami. I was heartbroken in a way I’d never quite experienced before. Then I cursed myself for being so naïve, for trusting her so quickly.

“Why are you telling me this? Why now?” I asked.

Sabrina looked up at me, and with a soft, sincere voice said, “Because you
are
real to me now. You’re not someone who is in the way of what I want.” She paused, looked me right in the eyes. “You’re my friend.”