Abbie's Gift (26 page)

“You now face a huge choice in your life”, Sarah continued, “but you must understand now that this demon had latched on to you, he can pester you again and again, and also year on year, when he becomes strong in the autumn months. However if you choose to leave your physical life, you will be free of him forever, and he will not have any power or hold over you, none at all. Understand that your life will not be the same again, ever, it cannot be.

Asmodeus sees you as his queen, his Lilith.  It seems that this is directly due to your abilities to please men sexually; you are not subservient to them in union. He wants that for himself, for you to desire him. He has shown himself to you on more than one occasion at the height of his power, that is when the moon and stars form an alignment in November, that is when he is strongest, but this strength will pass and he will be much less powerful, but you need to be aware. He will likely try to return to you; if not now then one year from now, in the hope you will seduce him”.

“I don’t know what to say”, replied Abbie.

“Do what is right to protect yourself at all costs, and do what is right to help your love, Peter”.

Looking below, Abbie could see herself in the caravan lying still as though asleep. She could see the physical cord, her lifeline that connected her to her physical self. She could see that all around the caravan was still, and picturesque, viewed this time from a different angle.

Abbie realised she could see the world below her below her only if she chose to do so, otherwise her spiritual vision was only on the beautiful astral realm.

As she was looking ahead of her, she was immersed into the brightness. Other beings passed her; again, some seemed contented, but it became more obvious to her that others were not. She guessed that Peter would also be unhappy if she could see him now, one of the discontented souls.

For some reason, Abbie she could not sense his presence and was unsure why this was so, he seemed nowhere to be found this time.  Then she thought maybe he was in the area of the woods, as somehow that place had seemed to comfort him, and it had been where they had been reunited, so Abbie journeyed there.

On entering the woods she called his name, and within a few moments he appeared to her.  The vision of him brought a smile to her face, and his whole countenance began to change from deep sorrow to one of happiness.

“Peter” She began “I
know
, I understand it all, I’ve had it explained to me about your sadness and heavy heart.  My love I’m so sorry, I love you, and want you, I want to be with you forever. I thought that finding you here would make everything all right, I just didn’t realise this place generally is a transition, but I have made you stay here, when you need to be moving on as you are not complete here. But I can’t give you up voluntarily, I can’t lose you again, having found you, I can’t do that, I won’t do that. It is just unthinkable to me. I heard you speak to me earlier it was as clear as anything. I will help you, but I need you to help me too. God, this is all just so mad. I never wanted anything like this,” she turned away from him, “all I did was love you. That’s all I ever did. It’s just both of the options to me are so unthinkable”.

To her surprise when she turned back to face him, he had gone.

This pain too much for Abbie, she returned to her physical self with a large and powerful jolt, and was immediately fully aware of all her senses.

The evening was drawing in again, the coolness settling outside, the ground becoming damp, the air heavy with moisture.

Abbie knew this had to be resolved; she had to find a solution and that without this, life as she knew it would be unbearable for her.

She paced around the caravan.  She had not felt this wound up for some time; irritated and unable to settle, wound like a tightly coiled spring ready to snap open at any moment. She didn’t want to go out in case she saw anyone; she didn’t want to risk uncomfortable polite conversation.

She lay down again, and used all her ability and powers of concentration to project, but it was no good, she could not, her mind seemed too troubled.

She had to do this somehow, she thought, then she remembered having this difficulty previously, and she realised that she just needed to relax, so she decided to go for a run to get rid of her tensions and burn off her excess adrenaline.

She put on extra layers as it had turned cold, and set off running straight from the caravan and out of the garden. This time she was so focused and determined as she ran that she very nearly crashed into Simon and Jess coming the other way on the pavement in front of the shop.

“Abbie, can I speak with you?” He called.

“Later” she replied, “I have to run, but later, OK?”

Simon stood and watched her disappear down the road. He looked back towards the shop and realised that now every time he entered it, there would not be anyone waiting, the shop would always be in darkness and empty. As he made his way to the door, Jess was oblivious to the tears that fell down his cheeks.

The light was fading as Abbie went along the path at the side of the lifeboat station; she pushed hard up the short hill until she reached the clearing. The beach was calm in the fading light, with only the waves smashing the shore line as the wind threw them against the beach.

At the top of the hill where she stood, the wind somehow now seemed warmer.  This run needed to be hard and fast she thought, so she sped down the dune path, losing her footing as she reached the bottom and tumbling onto the beach. She didn’t hurt herself or mind the sand that seemed to cover her, she just picked herself up and ran on, along the edge of the hard sand. She deliberately lifted her knees higher with each stride, pushed her arms, and accelerated as fast as she could, heart pounding, arms pumping the air, her legs striding, and her lungs gasping. When she felt she could hold this pace no longer, she closed her eyes and tried to accelerate again. She was unsure if she could achieve this, and she felt the energy draining away from her.

This intensity had to be sustained, so she pushed on against her failing body, almost crying out in agony as every muscle in her body wanted to stop.

Just a few more second she thought, I can do it.

Her lungs burned and her mind swirled as she emerged from the dusk into the light.

This time Abbie had a real sense of her spirit leaving through the top of her head, and she glanced below and saw herself running rapidly across the sand.

“Peter, Peter” she called. She had made it here, and was determined to undo any upset she had caused.

As she looked around, she became aware of a presence behind her; she turned and saw that it was him.

“Peter darling” she cried as she fell onto him, “it’s OK, it’s all OK. Tell me what I have to do to make this all right. I want to do whatever it takes; I will do it for you. I can’t lose you again. I want to be with you forever, never to leave you. Whatever it takes my love, whatever it takes”.

When she returned to her physical body Abbie found that she was roughly in the middle of the beach. It was getting dark, so she stopped running and stood still, taking several deep slow breaths, letting her mind and body settle.

She looked around her. She could still make out the dunes to her right and the flat sand to her left and behind her. Not a light anywhere in sight.

All alone here, at last she felt peaceful. Her decision had been made and she was at peace with herself and her world. She knew her time in this physical life was now limited and she was determined to enjoy every last second of it before she chose to enter eternity.

Standing on the beach she knew she was hot, and again the wind still seemed warmer than earlier in the day. She felt alive in her mind and spirit, and she wanted to feel that also in her body and on her skin.

The last time she had been naked outdoors she had enjoyed it so much, and she wanted that sensation again.

Where she stood she stripped off all her clothes except her trainers. She made a bundle in her jacket, and carrying this over her shoulder she set off at a jog along the water’s edge. The waves splashed and sent spray towards her flesh that tingled her skin and gave her goose bumps all over her body.

Abbie felt invigorated and alive.

She continued to jog naked to almost the end of the beach, then as she neared the dunes she stopped and dressed quickly, wishing this could last longer, but she needed to get back.  After such a liberating experience the clothing on her body felt alien, as though they didn’t belong at all.

She walked up the dune path and back into the village unseen.

As Abbie returned in the direction of the caravan, she noticed the lights on in the shop and realised that she needed to speak to Simon. She tried to enter but the shop door was locked, so she went to the side door and knocked. She heard Jess barking, and Simon opened the door.

She wanted to apologise for her rapid departure earlier, but she was taken aback at how low and unhappy he looked.

Without a smile he simply said “come in”, turning away from her. Abbie followed him into the room where she had been with him the night before. Simon sat down at the end of the table and did not look up.

“Simon, are you OK” Abbie asked, “What’s wrong?”

After a pause, he said, “Dad died. I found him in bed this morning, I can’t quite believe it”.

Abbie put her hands to her mouth in shock; the pleasant old man to whom she’d spoken only a few times, now gone forever.

When she did speak, she was aware of her voice quivering with emotion, and tears began to run down her cheeks.

“Oh Simon, I am so, so, sorry, I really am.” She sat down at the table and put her head in her hands and allowed the torment of the day’s emotions to find release in tears.

When she was able to look up, Simon remained motionless, his eyes red. She leaned across and took his hand; he jumped, but she did not let go.

“Do you believe in psychic stuff?” he asked. “Premonitions and the like?”

“Yes I do, I really I do, not very like a science teacher, but I do”.

“Last night, I woke in the early hours, I was choking, and I really thought I might die. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t do anything, I couldn’t move but then it just went away. I reckon that was exactly what dad was experiencing at the same time. If only I’d realised that, if only I had got to him, maybe I could have saved him.”

He looked so mournful and dejected, Abbie got up and leaned over to him, she put her arms around his head and hugged him tightly.

Simon felt the warmth and softness of her breasts against him, and he began to sob.

As they continued to talk, Abbie learned that there was family on his father’s side, a sister who did not live too far away, so it meant that Simon would not be totally alone. She felt for him in his need; he had in a short time been kind to her and she felt that she ought somehow to offer him more support, more friendship, maybe stay around a bit longer, but no she thought, she had to go. She had to return to her home, her life, to put things in order. Time was of the essence.

Just as she was leaving, Simon managed to smile at her “When you came in” he said “I noticed that your top and jacket were inside out, what’s that about?”

She laughed,

He then said bravely “anyone would think you got undressed and ran naked down the beach.”

She smiled “Of course I did, and why not”. She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

Back at the caravan, she somehow felt relaxed and content, despite the upset she had just experienced. Her own dilemma was resolved, and she understood that a decision can be reached in an instant; it’s just that the journey to that point often takes a very long time.

She telephoned her mum.

“Hi mum, it’s me, I’m fine had a great time, and a good rest. I’ve been running a lot too, I’ll be home tomorrow, I’m leaving in the morning, and I’ll call you once I’m home”.

She also dialled Kate’s number but got her answer phone, so left her a message that she would call tomorrow.

Now all Abbie had to do was go home, make her arrangements and leave her world as she had known it behind.

                            …………………………………………………….

After a good night’s sleep Abbie packed all her things together and went to the cafe for breakfast. To her surprise Simon was already there, half way through his breakfast.

“Hi” she said, “mind if I join you?”

“No, of course not”.

“How are you doing? Did you sleep OK?”

“A bit, but I woke early around 4, couldn’t get back to sleep, so I’ve been up a while. I was very hungry and then realised I hardly ate at all yesterday”.

“You need to eat at difficult times like these; you need all your energy”.

“I have to go to my dad’s sister’s today, to discuss arrangements and things”.