Abbie's Gift (30 page)

She then cleared everything away, washing and drying the plates and cutlery and putting them in their correct place. She needed the entire house to be all in order for tomorrow. Once her work was done, she turned off the lights and went upstairs.

After showering, and getting into bed, she lay and listened to the silence. There was the odd noise from the street - a dog’s bark, even the sound of occasional traffic in the distance – but otherwise all was quiet.  She was listening to the sounds of normal life happening all around her, but these were sounds that she was now choosing to give up. Even as she lay in the darkness, her mind and heart did not waver: her future existence was to be elsewhere.

That evening as she left her body and entered the astral plane, Peter, Isaac and Sarah were waiting to greet her.

The brightness now seemed even stronger to her, somehow brighter than anything she’d experienced before. She was aware of the warmth from the glowing colours all around her, touching and comforting her spirit, soothing her completely.

“We knew you would come” said Sarah. “We are aware it is nearly your chosen time”.

“Yes, tomorrow; all my life is nearly in order, so tomorrow I can come. I just have one more thing to do”.

Isaac smiled, “You may not realise it but your coming here has been a real blessing to us”.

“How, what do you mean?’

“You have a unique gift Abbie. You want to be with Peter and you shall be, but you can help others here too, having experienced everything you’ve been through”.

“I don’t understand”.

“When you come and stay here, we want you and Peter to take our place, and be the greeters of the astral realm. When we first met, I told you that Sarah and I had been here a very long time, and indeed, we have been, so long you cannot even begin to comprehend it. We would like to move on into our eternity, and we feel the astral plane is in safe guardianship with both you and Peter”.

“You want to entrust this amazing place to me?”

“Yes, to you both, and we believe truly there is nobody better suited than you are”.

Abbie looked at Peter and he was smiling, and she knew it was the right thing.

“Yes then, and thank you” was her reply.

As so often happened on her astral travel, she was not aware of actually coming back into her body, but evidently she had.  As Abbie woke the next morning - and this day more than ever before - she could still feel the glow of comfort that the visit to Peter had brought her.

                            ……………………………………………………………..

It was still quite early when, after a few minutes of stretching her legs, Abbie stepped out of her front door and into the chilly morning air.  The sun was just beginning to show itself over the nearby rooftops that had a hint of frost on them, making them glisten in the early morning light.

Abbie pulled her hat over her ears and set off for the park. Running through the lonely quiet streets, Abbie thought about the people behind windows and curtains just beginning their days.  She wondered if any of them had anything as exciting about to happen as she did. She doubted it very much.

At the park, there was a lone dog walker with an elderly greying dog that wobbled with each step. The man smiled and nodded to Abbie as they passed, and she returned the greeting.

This morning Abbie was savouring the fresh air, aware that she would not do this again, and she would not benefit from this exercise in the future. After two laps of the park she approached the gate, and slowed her pace to look up at the hill that rose front of her, the summit and the war memorial filling the skyline in the distance.

To ensure that her muscles  were fully and adequately warmed up, she chose to run a third lap of the park, this time varying her pace between faster and slower efforts, to make sure all the blood was flowing where it should. She used this lap also to change her mind’s focus from the joys of the outdoors and wonderment of nature to the seriousness of the task ahead. She wanted to complete this and she felt her strength was enough to do it, but it would be hard.  She had failed in her attempts before, but if she could do this final task, truly everything in her life would be complete.

Full of determination, Abbie set off up the path that led to the top of the hill. She felt light on her feet even as the path grew steeper; she found her stride stronger, and she noticed the crispness of leaves underfoot.  The ferns all around her were still a deep rust colour, but the grass at the edge of the path was green and crisp in the morning frost.

After several minutes, her legs began to tire rapidly; her breathing was becoming more laboured with each step. She focused ahead, looking only at the top of the hill, but as she tired her right foot caught a tree root and she stumbled forward, almost losing her footing. She realised she was only just about half way up; she told herself to focus ahead of her but also be vigilant to anything that might make her to fall on the path.

Ahead of her the path widened slightly, and now there were fewer obstacles, she could put her head down and just run. Abbie didn’t know how long she could keep this going for, it hurt too much; her legs burned, muscles crying for her to stop, but she went on. Her pace was greatly reduced but she kept moving forward at a good pace.  At the point before the ground rose up again even more steeply, some three-quarters of the way up and for a few yards it levelled off. Somehow, this was enough for her legs to feel the benefit, and by the time the path again began to incline, she was able to give more effort.

Pumping her arms through the air, taking great gasps of breath and powering her legs along, Abbie could feel she was actually now physically accelerating.

With about 100 metres to go, she felt herself go dizzy, her body being overcome by a sudden sense of weakness. She thought she might faint but kept her head up; the whole world had moved left and right.

Then she realised she had experienced this before, and in a moment she was above and outside of her body, looking down at herself running over the ground. She was aware of Peter, Isaac and Sarah all encouraging her to run, to make it, to achieve her final goal. As she saw herself run past the place where she had given up last time through exhaustion, she knew this was the home stretch, but she didn’t want to be a spectator, she needed to feel it experience it.

Within a breath, she was back inside herself and the physical jolt of the sudden rush of adrenaline combined with the lack of oxygen in her system hit her hard; she was panting, pushing hard, her mouth dry, her whole body burned in every limb. It was as though she was fighting the very air through which she ran, to reach the top of the hill.

“I did it! I did it!” but the words came out in a whisper through her dry lips as she slowed to a walking pace underneath the towering the war memorial at the top of the hill. The air felt cool in its shadow. Panting, gasping, she put her hands on her hips and for a few minutes she couldn’t move, couldn’t think, only breathe. 

After a while Abbie began to recover and her breathing slowly returned to normal, but now her chest hurt if she took a deep breath, and she was almost wheezing every time she exhaled. Her legs felt solid from the amount of lactic acid accumulated in them. She felt she had to sit down, so she did so on the stone plinth beneath the statue.

Looking at the expanse of the land and the town below her, the realisation of what she’d just achieved began to sink in.  It was now all done, all completed, there was now nothing left at all.

Abbie stood up and a flood of emotions again rose within her; she couldn’t stop or contain the tears that ran down her face, tears of relief and of the end of frustration. Tears for her achievement, and happiness that this was done. Tears of sadness that her life as she had known it so far, was shortly to end. Tears at the sadness and pain of those she was leaving behind. Tears at how selfish she had fund she was able to be, in all of this. Tears that she never wanted to have grieved for her lost love. Moreover, tears of joy that she somehow had found him again.

Abbie stood and wiped her eyes and her face on her sleeve. No more tears, she thought, all is now well, and with that she set off back down the hill to her house for the final time.

Abbie jogged at a steady pace down the hill path and through the town, back to her home. As she did so she was aware that her body was cooling down after the physical exertion. As she turned into her road, and ran to her house the thought ‘never doing this again’ passed through her mind, but she paid it no attention; Peter was more important.

She opened the front door and stepped in the hallway, closing the door behind her. Somehow today, now that she had completed everything she felt that she needed to do, the house no longer felt as empty as it had before. She couldn’t quite make sense of that and why, except it felt different to her. As she walked to the kitchen for some water it would not have surprised her if Peter had been waiting for her. Her house had never before felt like this since his death: was it possible that there were spirits present to guide her?  Maybe even Peter she thought, then she remembered she had seen them on the hill.

Whatever it was, it was comforting and safe.

Abbie stood for a while in the shower, just enjoying the hot water flowing over her head and her body; a simple pleasure taken for granted as a necessity every day, but today she enjoyed it more knowing it was her last.

After drying herself she put on her robe and went downstairs.  She felt hungry and decided to have a warm drink and something to eat.

She decided on her favourite of scrambled eggs on toast, and used the three remaining eggs from the fridge. As she ate her food the thought flitted into her mind that here she was, eating her last meal like someone condemned.

She laughed to herself.  Don’t be so stupid, she thought, I’m not condemned, I’m choosing a life in eternity free from the burden of worldly pressures and anxiety.

Abbie knew that since she had made her decision there would no notes left for anyone.  After all, this was not suicide; her death would be certified as natural causes.

She also took time to destroy her diary, tearing it into tiny pieces and putting it into the bin. No evidence, she thought. Then she had another thought: can a broken heart be identified in a post mortem? Because she knew that was what would happen to her body, but really it did not matter.

She made herself a large mug of Earl Grey tea and sat in the lounge, deciding to listen to some classical music for a while. She sat there for about an hour and when the CD had finished she went to the kitchen and tidied up the dishes, putting everything away in its place. After this Abbie checked the whole house room by room to see that all was tidy and nothing appeared unkempt in any way.

When all this was done, Abbie went upstairs. She put her robe on the back of the bedroom door and paused, looking at Peter’s dressing gown.  She picked it up and smelt it again, and straight away his scent filled her senses. She positioned his dressing gown over the bed as an extra cover and climbed in between the sheets. She looked over at the picture of him on the bedside table and thought, this is really it.

Abbie lay on her back in the bed with the covers up to her chin. She felt warm and snug, and a wave of tiredness began to come over her. She yawned. Abbie focused on her breathing and allowed her mind to sense the weight of her body on the bed, breathing in and out steadily, and she focused on her consciousness and willed herself to leave her body.

She waited for that light motion and sense of movement to start within her as her consciousness broke free, but this time it never came. She tried to relax more, but her mind began to throw in thoughts of ‘it’s not going to happen.’

Abbie was not prepared to allow this to distress her.  She remembered having tried too hard previously so she continued to lie in the bed motionless, and focused all her mind and energy on her breathing.  How long she did this for she didn’t know, as she did not open her eyes.

Each time an intrusive and negative though came into her mind, she purposefully ignored it and brought her attention back to her breathing, slow and steady, in and out.

She slowly gained control of herself, realising it was only natural anxiety about her wanting to achieve something very important. Her breathing became shallow and developed into a fine and steady rhythm, and within a short period of time, her spirit left her body.

Chapter 17

Forty-eight hours later, Rose began to feel a little concerned that she hadn’t heard from Abbie. She’d left a telephone message thanking her for a lovely meal the night before, and she felt it was somewhat unusual that she’d not called back.

That evening, Rose called Kate to see if she’d heard from or spoken to Abbie. Kate hadn’t, and she was also surprised to hear that Rose’s calls had not been returned. It did seem unusual, but Kate tried to reassure Rose that there was probably some valid reason, like her ‘phone had most run out of charge and she hadn’t realised.

At the end of the day, having rung several times with no answer, Rose decided that the following morning she would go round to Abbie’s house.

                            ……………………………………………………………….

The cold air was piercing as Rose made her way to Abbie’s house.  From the road the house looked fine; the blinds on the windows were open, nothing seemed out of the ordinary at all.

Rose rang the bell and waited, and then rang it again; no answer.

She looked up and down the street as thought searching for an answer. She went to the neighbours on both sides, but no one was home there either. She reached in her bag, and scribbled a note on a piece of paper with a pencil and pushed it through the letter box.  As she did so she peered through the slot, but nothing she could see gave any clue to the whereabouts of her daughter.

Back at her own house Rose couldn’t settle all day; something inside of her told her there was something wrong. She needed to know that her daughter was safe; the not knowing was the hardest part.

She called Kate and left a message asking her to contact her urgently.

About 4 pm Rose’s ‘phone rang, and she snatched it up within two rings.

“Hello”

“Rose, it’s me, Kate, is everything OK?”

“Oh Kate, thank you for ‘phoning. I’ve still not head from Abbie and I’m so worried”.

“Gosh Rose, I can’t understand why she hasn’t called you, unless she’s gone away again, but it’s not like her at all is it?”

“No, and I’ve got this nasty feeling”.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know”, Rose began, “call it motherly intuition, but I’m frightened, can you help me?”

“Yes of course I will, what can I do?” She asked.

“I’ve got a set of keys, for emergencies” Rose said, “I’m worried and wouldn’t normally go into someone’s house, but I need to do this, please come with me”.

“I’m on my way” Kate replied.

Standing on the kerb next to Kate’s car they both looked at the house in darkness, but still there were no clues.

Rose put the key in the lock. The door slowly opened and then it seemed to jam, and Rose realised it was mail catching on the mat; she pushed it harder and it overcame the temporary obstruction. Her hand trembled as she felt for the light switch.  Rose stepped in to the hallway, and she could feel the warmth, so the heating was on.

So maybe Abbie was now at home and the phone’s been out of order, she thought.

“Abbie” she shouted, “it’s me, mum”.  As she moved down the hall she became aware that the other rooms were in darkness too.

Behind Rose, Kate now also felt uneasy and concerned for her friend. Her heart was beginning to race. “I’ll check upstairs” she said.

Without any acknowledgment Rose continued straight ahead to the other rooms, turning on lights as she went.  She stood in the warm silence wondering what on earth was going on.

A few moments later Kate came down the stairs, and Rose turned around as she came into the lounge to see her trembling and ashen-faced.

Kate took hold of Rose’s arms and Rose could feel her shaking.  Initially, in those few brief moments, nothing registered in Rose’s mind until Kate said, “We need to call the police and an ambulance”.  

                            ………………………………………………………….

Abbie’s death was certified as natural causes by the coroner. She appeared to have died peacefully in her sleep; the time of death indicating that she had gone for a lie-down in the afternoon. There was no substantive medical cause or underlying illness pathology, although it was mentioned that she was thin and underweight. It was also noted that she had in fact been pregnant at the time of her death, which was a surprise to her family and her close friends. They had had no idea, and they wondered if Abbie had known.

What was not reported, to protect the family, was the fact that the foetus although extremely small, appeared grossly deformed, almost inhuman and that because of this, determining the duration of the pregnancy in relation to the time of death had not been possible.

What was also never reported, to the family or anyone else, was the comment made by the technician during the post-mortem when he was examining the foetus.   Despite his years of experience, he had been so shocked by its appearance that he had told his colleague that it looked like the child of the devil.

The End.