Abbie's Gift (27 page)

“Yes, those things need sorting, it’s not easy though, any of it, but at least you have help and support”.

“I guess you’re right,” he replied. “So many people to deal with and inform; he had lots of friends too that need contacting.”

“I’m sure it will all go well for you, the arrangements I mean,” she said. “l’m off this morning, I have to get back home”.

Simon nodded, “If I’m not around, just put the key through the letter box, and come back anytime you’ll always be very welcome”.

“Thank you” she said, “and thanks for being so kind and helpful to me, I appreciate it so much”.

Even as she was saying this, Abbie was tempted again to offer him support and friendship; maybe a phone number she thought fleetingly, but no, that would be just unfair to him.

After breakfast, Abbie walked back along the harbour enjoying the morning air. She knew that this place, these past few brief days here had been her salvation; it had helped her find her future, but she knew that taking that path meant no return.

The journey home she found tiresome and long.  On arriving home, she felt a sense of disappointment: the house, the emptiness, people to deal with and be nice to, the effort that would all take.

She called her mum and told her she was home safe, but was very tired so she would visit her tomorrow. Her whole body felt weary and she realised it was the accumulation of several days long runs; she felt an early night was in order.

The phone rang in the early evening: it was Kate; she wanted to visit, but Abbie managed to put her off until the next day. She used aching limbs and tiredness as the reason, and whilst this was true, she felt that she wanted also to be alone, and someone too chirpy like Kate wouldn’t have helped her.

She thought about the people that she had met over the last few days, and the beautiful place where she had stayed although, oddly enough, she could not remember the name of the village. She also wondered why she hadn’t seen anything more of Michael, but then she thought she had hurt him and let him down so really it was obvious.

What was not obvious was why she hadn’t had any sense of the presence of Asmodeus; he had just seemed to vanish from her life.  Then again she thought, it was now December, so maybe had gone for good. Would she find him though now she was back at home? This thought made her shiver as she looked around the room, but there was nothing unnatural to be seen.

She powered up the PC and waited while it gradually came to life.

Abbie thought to herself, at times like these, when you wait for a computer and you only need it on for a few minutes, why do they always seem to take forever, why?

When the PC had decided to function, she again entered ‘Asmodeus’ into the search engine, wanting to learn more and understand this creature that seemed so taken with her.

She looked again at the entries that she had seen previously, and she also looked further down the results list for new information; one entry described him as a three-headed beast, a lustful prince of demons, and again there was the mention of November being the month in which his power was greatest.

Then she read something which surprised her: according to the Testament of Solomon, Asmodeus lived in the constellation of the Great Bear.  Was that why she had been drawn to the stars that night? This worried her greatly.

Then she clicked on a different link and read again some of the information she already knew. However, one final paragraph that she read further down the page caused her to sit up straight in horror.

The information shocked her to her core, and sent shivers of cold terror down her spine.  Abbie sat motionless and horrified; for a while she was convinced that she was physically shaking, but didn’t know if she was cold or whether it was just outright fear.

She heard her own breath coming in short sharp gasps, her heart rate rising as she took in what she had read; surely it could not be true?

‘
Asmodeus has an ability to appear on Earth as a gentleman, often walking with a limp and using a stick for support
.’

Shit! She thought, no way, it can’t be, Asmodeus was
Michael
? And the lies he told me about his wife, what is this?! Jesus, he seems to be chasing me, after all. What is it I need to do to scare him?  Remember, damn it, something about fish.

She then read another entry that described how Asmodeus had killed seven husbands of a woman named Sarah, only to be eventually banished by the burning of fish heart and liver.  That’s it, she thought, now I know what I need to do.

She also read that certain demons called incubi could attack people in the night. She remembered Asmodeus was driven by lust. She then remembered waking that morning with her pyjamas all askew, and she had no recollection of what might have happened. 

Oh God, please no, that wasn’t him?

She didn’t feel any different; she wasn’t hurt, but she was aware of the bruise on her thigh, and everything suddenly seemed to make sense, pieces of this horrific jigsaw coming together.

Asmodeus was also described as the demon of revenge.

She pieced together what she already knew about this odd set of events:

Asmodeus wanted her, and had previously killed people who stood in his way. Michael had seen her with Simon.  Simon had then felt he was being strangled, but his dad died, so was that him? Was that Asmodeus?

This ‘gift’ of mine, it is not a gift but a curse.  What have I unleashed here? Abbie thought, as she sat with her head in her hands.

Chapter 16

The next morning Abbie was up early. She dealt with household practicalities like washing, and she then went to the shops for some general supplies.

She realised that she had a lot to do, a lot to organise, running could wait she thought, and a rest would do her good today, as her legs needed it.

She sat at the PC and typed out her resignation letter for her school, giving no real explanation. Abbie had the letter in the post for the mid-day collection.

She also decided that she needed to make a will, so she arranged an appointment with a local solicitor for the next day. As it approached lunchtime, she knew that it was time to face her mum.

When she arrived, standing on the doorstep Abbie felt tense and anxious; in the past few days, she had grown accustomed to not feeling like this and she didn’t like it now.

Rose greeted Abbie with a strong hug, and she kissed her, relieved, Abbie knew, at having her home safe and well.

“Why love you do look well, the sea air’s obviously done you good,” she said.

Abbie just smiled, “hello mum”.

“Come on in and tell me all about it.”

Over tea and sandwiches, Abbie described the beauty of the location that she had visited: the harbour, the caravan, the endless miles of golden sand that she ran, and the bracing sea air.

To Abbie’s surprise though, when her mum asked the name of the village, she again could not recall it, but then she remembered that she had never actually asked or even looked up at a sign, she couldn’t remember seeing one.

She described Simon’s kindness to her, the cosiness and privacy of the caravan, and the forgetful old man in the shop. For a while she omitted to tell her mother about his death, but then she decided to; she had nothing to hide but she was concerned at her mother’s reaction to her having experienced a death again so soon, when she was away by herself. Abbie was glad that her mother seemed all right with this and not overly concerned.

“Did you eat well?” Rose asked, thinking that Abbie looked very well in general but thinner.

“Yes I did, simple stuff mainly, but I did eat, I had to with all the running I did”.

“So you’re still keen on that?”

“Yes mum, it’s a good diversion for me. It keeps my head clear, helps me think. It gives me space to plan and work things out”.

“So have you been able to think about your future, decided anything?”

“Yes I have”.

Rose felt a wave of concern; somehow she knew something big was coming.

Abbie looked at her, and there was no disguising the concern in Rose’s eyes.

“Mum, don’t look so worried,” she then immediately felt a pang of guilt at her hypocrisy. Rose had reason to be concerned, she just did not know why.

“If there is one thing that I’ve come to learn, it’s that life is too short; things can happen that change your life in an instant, or end it just as quickly. I think my new philosophy is living life for the moment, because if we don’t tomorrow may be too late.”

“That was your father’s way of thinking too”, replied Rose.

“So I am changing direction, not fully sure what to exactly”

The word ‘liar’ shot into her mind. “I’ve quit work, I can’t go back and then again I just don’t want too. Besides, I’ve enough cash to tide me over till I decide on something. I might go travelling for a while”, she said, again her conscience raging in her head against the words as they came out of her mouth.

Rose smiled, “Whatever you decide I’ll support you, as long as you’re sure, and haven’t made any decisions like that too hastily”.

“No I’m sure I haven’t; thinking of going back to work a few weeks ago, that was too quick, not this though honestly, and thanks mum for your support.  I just know my old life has gone and I have to make a new one”.

“Have you told them?”

“Yes, I sent a letter but they won’t have it yet, maybe they’ll get it tomorrow”.

“Does Kate know?”

“No not yet, I’m seeing her later on, she’s coming over after school”.

“I’m sure she’ll have something to say”.

“I’d be surprised if she didn’t”.

They both smiled.

“Well” said her mum “whatever she says, be kind to her, she’s a good friend to you”.

“I know that, I will and no falling out I promise”.

Rose smiled, “Good.  Now, more tea dear?”

Just after 6 pm the doorbell rang and Abbie took a deep breath; she knew this would be Kate, but she didn’t know which way the conversation would go.

Kate also commented on Abbie’s thinness, saying hugging her was like hugging skin and bone, although Abbie passed this off as an exaggeration, most likely borne of a little jealousy.

“So tell me all about your hols” said Kate.

“Just peace and quiet and a fantastic location, somewhere on the north East coast. I hired a caravan for a few days, it belonged to a shop keeper, it was nice and isolated behind their general store, so tranquil”.

“So what did you get up to then?”

“I ran, lots, the beach was fabulous; it was five miles long, so I did that most days.  I also read a bit, listened to music, and most days I never saw another soul on the sands”.

“Sounds lovely. So you ran five miles most days?”

“No, ten, it was five miles each way”.

“Christ Abbie, ten miles! I’m not surprised you’re thin”.

“Trim and taut if you don’t mind, not thin”.

“OK, I give you that, but ten miles, how long did that take?”

“Oh, about two hours, give or take”.

“Christ, just thinking about it tires me out!” Replied Kate. “Did you meet anyone?”

“What you mean?”

“Nice blokes, you know, men?”

Abbie looked at her friend.  Kate, who had a heart of gold but somehow didn’t seem able to have successful relationships, and she felt sorry for her, thinking she had never understood what it’s like to be really in love.

“Well I had several conversations with two different blokes actually, an older guy in his fifties called Michael, he was posh and sophisticated, very well to do, but I didn’t really like him, he was almost too nice, almost creepy”.

With this thought, Abbie visibly shuddered.

“Older and well off” said Kate, “sounds interesting”.

“You would say that”.

“And the other, you mentioned two?”

Abbie smiled and Kate saw this immediately. “That was Simon, he was really nice, very kind and helpful. I felt sorry for him; he lived with his old dad, looking after the shop and his elderly father, and before you ask, I did have a drink with him one evening and something to eat too, he was good company.”

“And... you know...” said Kate eagerly.

“In your dreams” replied Abbie.

“No, not in my dreams in yours!”

They both laughed.

Then Abbie added, “His Dad died yesterday, the last day I was there”.

“What?”

“In his sleep. I thought of possibly staying to offer support, or give him my number, but decided against it. I think I made the right choice”.

“But Abbie you’re free to do as you wish”.

“I know that, but in the end I chose to be nothing more than a holiday visitor”.

“Why, though?”

“Because of Peter”.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I still love him, no one else, I don’t want to be with anyone else, I don’t need to be with anyone else”.

“You still having those dreams about him?”

Abbie looked directly at Kate, and simply said “No, but at times I wish I were”.

Kate decided not to pursue this line of questioning any further.

Abbie realised her friend’s unease and changed the subject. “So, do you fancy going out one night next week, me and you? It’s been a while” she said.

Kate seemed surprised, “Yes it has, but that’s fine, considering everything that’s happened. I’d love to go out actually, anything in mind?”

“Maybe to the cinema and for a meal?”

“That sounds great, Friday OK?”

“Sure, but there is something else I need to tell you, before you hear it from anyone else” said Abbie.

‘OK, sounds serious”.

“It is, well more permanent than serious. I’ve quit work; I just can’t go back there. My whole life has changed direction and I need to move on, a different direction completely. Decision made, it’s done”.

“Wow, what did the Head say?”

“Letter’s in the post, most likely he’ll get it tomorrow”.

“You really sure about this?  Have you any plans?”

“No not yet, nothing specific but I thought after Christmas I’d maybe go away again, travel a bit”, the word ‘
liar’
again penetrating through into her consciousness. “Financially I’m OK and don’t need to worry for a while so just want to take my time”.

“Well good for you, I’m with you all the way”.

“Thanks Kate, I wasn’t sure how you’d react”.

“Abbie, I want what’s best for you, and after the time you’ve been through, you deserve some you time, be happy whatever you choose to do, be happy.”

“Thank you”, Abbie smiled.

“And if you need a travel companion you know who to ask”, Kate smiled.

“Hmmm, I do” replied Abbie.

The rest of the evening passed without any awkwardness, the two friends sharing stories and laughing together for the first time in ages, but after Kate had left, Abbie was grateful for the peace and quiet.

Anything to keep her friend happy, she thought to herself.

Later that evening as she lay in bed, she wished that joining Peter permanently could be just as easy as closing her eyes and going to sleep; the process though of how she would achieve this pricked at her mind.

How do I do this? She thought.  It began to worry her: what if an attempt to take her own life failed and she ended up brain damaged? God, then she would be trapped and Peter would be abandoned.

She thought that whatever method she used, it needed a guarantee: hanging, was it reliable? But the thought of choking repulsed her. Jumping in front of a train? Likely to be successful, but messy. Gas, carbon monoxide? That seemed a real possibility. She also remembered hearing there were websites about this sort of stuff, oddly enough.  She never would have believed she would ever need to research such a thing.

Abbie did not want it to be prolonged or painful, but simple and straightforward.  God help me, she thought.

That evening as her consciousness left her body and joined the astral realm, to her surprise she was immediately greeted by Isaac and Sarah; she thought that they seemed to have been expecting her.

“Abbie, welcome” Isaac said. “We know your heart was heavy with the information given to you last time we met. Have you been able to reach a decision yet?”

“Yes, I have, I’ve not been able to think of much else, but I have decided what I am to do. It just seems crazy talking openly about it”.

Isaac and Sarah waited for her to respond in her own time.

Abbie said, “My decision is to be with Peter, I have to, I can’t give him up. The thought of letting him go is too much, so I will join him by giving up my own life”.

“That is so brave and loyal of you” Sarah said. “Peter will be so happy” responded Isaac.

Abbie looked at them both, “But I am really worried about how to accomplish this. The whole process and the thought of the pain really scares me so much.”

Isaac moved closer to her, “You have nothing to fear, there is no need for any pain or suffering”.

“How then, what do you mean?”

“You will have seen that you are now connected to your physical body by the silver cord, which is ultimately part of you, it joins these two parts of your being together, both your physical body on earth and your spiritual self here in this astral dimension. All you have to do is decide to sever that cord while you are here; concentrate and focus on it and once it is broken, you will be separate from your body and when that occurs, Abbie and only you can achieve that, you will then be here forever”.

“And my body will be dead?”

“Your life spirit will have departed your body, yes, it takes a few minutes for your body to finally shut down and cease to exist, but then your physical body will die. So no pain or injury, just your choice”.

“I never realised” she said. “I’ve been stressed over nothing.”

“Don’t worry” said Isaac “the hardest part is reaching the decision that you have now made, and you have done that, your passage into eternity is simple. You must do is what is necessary in your physical earthly life, to prepare and then when you choose to come, all this awaits you”.