Accepted Fate (7 page)

He just stares at me as if he's trying to figure me out; like I'm a book full of secrets in another language. He seems lost in my eyes, amused, confused, I don't know. We sit there staring at each other as if we can't pull away. As if we don't want to. He doesn't say anything, just bites his lip as if he's trying to answer his own question, or to make a decision. I'm about to get up and walk away, when his other hand reaches behind my neck, pulling me closer as he closes in. His lips stop in front of mine, close enough to touch, when he whispers, "Beautiful girl," and crashes his lips to mine.

His lips are so soft and full, but needy. I don't know what I'm doing, but for some reason the act comes natural with him. Our lips fit together as if they were molded for the connection. His warm tongue slips through the opening of my lips barely, requesting entry. I open up to him, granting his request. Our tongues taste, touch, and dance together. He even taste as amazing as he smells. I always thought it was kind of nasty to imagine exchanging spit, but with him I want more. The senses coming at me are overwhelming.

A moan, barely more than a whisper, escapes my lips. I run my hands across his arms and up his neck, into the back of his hair. My heart is beating wildly. Foreign emotions are running through my body. I have entered into the depths of the unknown. I have never felt this need before, but it's as if my body needs more. Suddenly, I feel like I need to cross my legs from the spasms down below. What is he doing to me? What does this mean?

He turns, laying me against the pier. He has one hand on my waist, the other beside my head, holding his weight above me, like when we were at the beach. He continues to kiss me, taking my bottom lip into his mouth, lightly sucking. His hand slips down, brushing against my butt. When it does, he makes a low growling sound from his throat. I'm not sure why until I feel his need pressed against the bottom of my belly, making my eyes go wide from surprise. I tense. Oh no, I can't go there. As if he can sense my panic, he stops. He kisses me one last time softly and releases my lips.

He looks me in the eyes, a smile growing across his face. He brushes his fingers through my hair, down my arm and grabs me by the hand, interlacing his fingers with mine. "Nothing personal huh? I think I can do that." His lips brush mine quickly once again, before he moves back to his spot of the pier, pulling me by my hand to sit between his legs. "I promise I'll be good for the rest of the night. I've just wanted to do that all day. Since the second I laid eyes on you."

I'm completely and utterly speechless. I have no idea what I'm even doing. I never do reckless or unplanned things like this. I have no idea who this guy is, really, and now I'm sitting on the pier making out with him for the entire world to see. I really need to get my head back in the game. I always think everything through before I make a decision. Like mom said, I'm a planner. It's my quirk I guess, but it's what keeps me sane. I need it like I need cheerleading. Being around him takes away my ability to process. Right now there are so many unknowns, but what I do know is that I'm not ready for it to end just yet.

I just sit there, between his legs, staring out at the ocean, completely at peace, trying to replay what just happened. I would have never imagined a first kiss like that. At Presley's thirteenth birthday party, we played spin the bottle and I was forced to kiss Brantley Cooper. It was awkward and over in a second. We didn't even touch inside each other’s mouths. Since then, I haven't been the least bit interested in boys nor kissing. Presley thinks there is something wrong with my girly parts. Maybe it's because of all the risk involved. In Family Dynamics class, we had to listen to nurses present a slide show and talk about sexually transmitted diseases and teen pregnancy. I was utterly grossed and freaked out. Who wants to deal with that? Not me. I guess after that, my immature sex drive took a hiatus and never returned.

This, though, was worthy of locking away in my memory bank and never forgetting. That kiss has set me up for all future kisses. Nothing will ever be able to compare. My body feels like it is housing an electrical current. My heart feels like it's on some kind of speed. I lay my head against his chest and realize his heart is beating fast as well. Maybe he has the same reaction to me as I to him, but what does that mean? Whatever it means, though, right now I'm content to just exist, no words or thinking required.

He lays his chin on my head and places his arms around me, nestling me in the cocoon of his curled up body. I feel so small and protected like this. The water is completely still and calm. This has been the strangest day. It has gone from bad to worse to a little bit better. If someone would have told me when I woke up this morning that I would be in the arms of a sexy, southern boy by midnight, I would have laughed, yet here I am. I begin to shiver, but it's not from being cold. Actually, it's pretty warm outside being in June.

He holds me tighter, the rhythm of his breathing is soothing me, melting away all of the built up tension from earlier. He rests his cheek behind my ear and whispers against it, "Are you cold? I can take off my shirt."

"No thank you. I'm okay," I say. He really needs to keep that shirt in place. I'm in no kind of place to be seeing the muscles I remember from earlier. Having them pressed against me in this state of mind is dangerous. "The kind of day I have had is still kind of surreal. I'm just upset."

"Want to talk about it? I'm a pretty good listener." He brings his head down to rest on top of my shoulder, cheek to cheek.

Should I talk about it? I wonder if it's a good idea. Maybe it would help to get some of this built up anger and frustration off my chest. I still don't want to talk about anything personal. I don't need anything to get complicated. A friend wouldn't hurt though. I suppose it would be best to talk to someone I will never see again. I exhale. Here goes.

"My parents told me today that we're moving at the end of June. It may not seem like a big deal, but I've spent my entire life chasing after a dream. One I've wanted since I was a kid. My brother has always loved football. From the time he was old enough to throw a ball, he would drag me or dad outside to throw with him. He was always trying to be like the big boys, the pros."

"When I was eight my parents asked him what he wanted to do for his birthday. He didn't even have to think about it. He wanted to go see the San Diego Chargers play. It was October and my parents made a whole weekend out of it. Everything was so big and exciting. We get in the stands and take our seats between mom and dad. I go to look down at the field and see the cheerleaders taking their place on the sidelines in their amazing showy outfits. They were beautiful. The entire game I couldn't look away. I sat there and watched them cheer and do amazing stunts the entire time. From then on I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up; a professional cheerleader. My mom, being the amazing woman that she is, noticed me in complete awe the entire game. When it was over, she somehow managed to get a meet and greet with one. There was this girl that had blonde hair like me. I remember asking her how I could become like her when I grew up." I start to cry again, thinking how my life is about to change.

"She bent down in front of me so we could be the same height. She looked at me and placed her finger to my chest and said,
Always follow your heart and work hard. You'll find your way, but don't let anything or anyone stop you. When you think you're working hard, work harder.
See that's what I have always done. I have always been the good girl. I hung the picture I took with that cheerleader on my mirror and always remembered what she said. I've worked extremely hard for years on the best squad around. You don't just up and move your senior year. Squad tryouts are always held at the end of the previous year. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. My heart has always been with California."

He sits there rubbing my arms. "I know I don't know anything about you, but from what I've seen so far you'll find a way. If you have worked this hard then work harder like she said, make it happen. My dad used to always tell me the best things in life never come easy. If you want something bad enough, there is always a way to obtain it, no matter how out of reach it seems. I understand why you're upset. Even if you think the door has been closed for you, there is always a way to burst through. We always have the power to control our outcome, no matter what problems arise before we get there."

I turn around now kneeling on bent knees, placing my arms around his neck, between his legs. "Aren't you just Mr. Insightful tonight," I ask teasingly. "Are you always this deep?"

He holds me by the waist, rubbing my ribs with his thumbs, a smile taking place, "Only when I'm trying to cheer up a beautiful girl." He reaches up, removing the tears from underneath my eyes, "I meant it though, Kinzleigh."

"Maybe I just needed to hear it from someone else. I was kind of rude with my parents when they told me. Oh crap, what time is it? They are probably worried. I never stay out late." I start to stand so I can go get my phone from my purse on the bench to check the time but he grabs my waist stopping me.

Breyson has cocked his eyebrow, "You've never stayed out this late?" He pulls his cell from his pocket and unlocks the screen, "Kinzleigh, it's only eleven o'clock. You cannot be serious," he laughs as if he thinks I'm lying.

"What is so funny? I don't drink and that's usually all that goes on around this time. I have to keep my body at its best if I want to have a chance. Alcohol is not going to do anything for me. I've seen stupid things people do intoxicated. I only go to parties if Presley drags me out and I'm usually home by now because being around drunk people sober isn't fun to me. I don't date, ever, so I don't have to worry about someone else occupying my time with other activities. The result being, I'm usually home by now. Plus, my brother threatens his friends of their lives when he brings them over. If I'm not at school or cheerleading, I'm with girlfriends. I only hang out with male friends in the rare occasions we all have a group trip. Usually, I hang out with friends during the day or early evening and practice at night, unless I go to a concert or something." Something different has replaced the look that was previously on his face, but I'm not sure what. I have never been good with reading emotions.

"Don't go yet, in case I don't get to see you again before I have to go back home." He brushes my long hair over my shoulder. I know I should go, but how can I tell him no? He has the most handsome face and he has been nothing but nice to me. 

"What do you want to do?" The breeze is picking up and with the bottom of my dress still damp, I'm starting to get cold. Goose bumps take place along my arms.

"I don't care, we'll find something. Come on, let's get you warm. I have Ryland's truck." He slides back to stand, never letting go of me. When he gets to his feet, he helps me to mine and wraps his arm around me. We start back toward the beach, picking up my shoes and clutch along the way. Something tells me as much as I'm trying to avoid complications; I'm already going to be in trouble.

"Okay. I guess I can stay out a little bit longer, but I need to text my mom once I get to the truck." What on earth am I going to tell my mom? I can't exactly tell her I'm with a boy she's never met. I have got to be on the verge of a breakdown because I cannot believe I am about to get in the truck of a guy I just met earlier today. He could be a rapist or serial killer for all I know. I have never even been on a date so how can I tell my mom I'm going out with a guy this late at night.

We get to the beginning of the pier and he gets to the bottom of the steps first, holding out his hand to help me. "So, what's there to do around here for fun at night?" I take his hand, trying not to be rude, but quickly release it once I get to the bottom. I really don't want him to think he's going to get any more of what happened earlier.

I fold my arms over my chest, shrugging my shoulders. "Just depends. Mostly parties or concerts at night; sometimes bonfires on the beach. Other than that, whatever is open." I'm not really sure what to do honestly; I rarely stay out this late. I wasn't kidding.

"I just came from Logan's. We could go there if you want," he says nonchalantly as we make our way down the beach.

"I can't go to Logan's," I say quickly hoping he won't ask any further questions. I absolutely will not have anything to do with Logan after what he has put Konnor through. He has pretty much been a member of our family since elementary school and to think he ruined a friendship over sex is enough to steer clear of him for good. Don't guys have some kind of stupid motto, 'bros over hoes?' Obviously, they're head reigns over their heart and I don't mean the one with the brain.

He furrows his brow as if he wants to ask but doesn't. "Are you hungry?" I feel relieved because I won't explain my reasons for not going to Logan's. It is not my place to tell Konnor's business.

As if on cue, my stomach growls; I guess I am hungry. I didn't get a chance to finish dinner with my parents. "I could eat. I didn't really have an appetite earlier," I say trying to smile.

We finally make it back to the parking lot. What I see when I get there is a huge silver GMC truck with black out tinted windows, a pair of matching black side step bars and a black front grill guard. Complete with big tires and black rims. Wow, from what I remember Ryland has a southern accent too. This must be a country boy thing because most guys around here like their sports cars or luxury vehicles. "So, this is it," I ask looking around the parking lot thinking there is going to be something else around.

A smile begins to take place on his mouth, "You have been in a truck before, haven't you?" He unlocks the doors with the remote and opens the passenger door.

"Only my dad's company truck because he is a contractor and needs the bed to haul supplies. There aren't exactly a lot of these around here," I laugh nervously wondering how I'm supposed to get in this thing. It's so high off the ground, I'm not sure I can. I am on the shorter side. I go to grab the door handle with both hands, trying to step on the bar. My body weight is offset causing me to slip. "Crap," I say and begin looking to see if there is another way.