Adulation (13 page)

“Whatever,” I said, echoing Theo.

The last bite of cheesecake waited to be claimed, but none of us did. I stared at it, momentarily lost in a thought that I dared not speak. Thing is, when he’d taken my hand, it hit me at that moment: This was a guy I could date. Moreover, this was a guy with whom I could just
 
be
.

How awful was that? To think that of a guy I’d only met for five minutes, who lived in another universe, and then call him a
failure
 
to his face?

Georgie, Theo, and I took the train back to Huntington the next morning, the three of us sleeping all theway. When I got back to my apartment, I took a shower—it was a shame to lose the fabulous hairstyle. Worse still, because Luc had turned the chair away from the mirror when he was working his magic, andbecause I’d been so busy ogling myself afterward, I’d forgotten to ask him  to show me how to style itmyself. It was too short to put in a ponytail now, so I blew it dry and tried to push it all back with ahairbrush. The result was a windblown fluff. I imagined Luc looking at me, disappointed (hell, probably
insulted
), like watching someone graffiti all over your oil painting.

Having been on an Internet fast for the last forty-eight hours, I turned on my laptop and logged infirst to my e-mail in-box, which was clogged with notifications from Facebook by people who tagged mein a video, its tagline “jackass.”

“What the...?” I started as I clicked on the video that showed me, my face obscured, calling Danny Masters a jackass and a failure.

Oh. My. God.

My cell phone rang.

“Are you seeing what I’m seeing?” I asked Georgie without even saying hello or needing to checkthe caller ID.

“Where in Zeus’s name did it come from?” he asked.

“How would I know? And how does everyone know it’s me? You can’t even see me. Hell,
 
I

wouldn’t have known it was me.”

“You have a very distinct way of saying
jackass
,” said Georgie. “You put a lot of emphasis on the

jack
 
and then slightly linger on the
 
ass
, and you have that hardcore Long Island accent that separates the

sound of
jack
 
from the sound of
ass
.”

“You’re a fucking linguist now?”

“I rest my case.”

“My accent is not hardcore.”

“Besides, you posted your last status update from the theater, remember? And who else do they

know who works at a bookstore and is a Danny Masters fan? They put two and two together.”

I groaned.

My phone beeped, alerting me to Theo. I let it go to voice mail.

“Is there any way to take it down?” I asked.

“Take what down?”

“The video.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean,
 
why
?”

“You’re famous, Sunny Delight! Look how many hits it’s gotten already. Just think what would happen if you came forward; you’ll probably get your own reality show in a few months, and you’d better include me.”

“Are you kidding me? I am not coming forward!”

“Why not?”

“Look, it’s bad enough I told the man whose writing I worship—”

“Yeah, right...it’s the
 
writing
 
you worship,” he interrupted.

“I called him a jackass.”

“And a failure,” he reminded me. As if I needed reminding.

“I’m not going to take a bow for it now.”

“What, you’re just gonna deny it?”

“I sure as hell ain’t gonna confirm it,” I said. “And what’s with the sudden change in you? Last night you were pissed at me for it.”

“That’s before I knew there was footage. Besides, now that you’ve got his attention—”

“Assuming he knows it’s out there...”

“—the two of you can go on
 
Oprah
 
and work it out before her show goes off the air.”

I huffed. “Good Lord, you are delusional, Georgie. Really. You’ve got to stop watching so much Bravo.”

My landline rang next; the caller ID displayed my brother Tim’s number. I ignored him too.

“I’ll bet they’re all talking about it on Masterminds,” he said. Masterminds was the unofficial website for Danny Masters fans.

“What if Whitford’s finds out that it was me?” I asked. “They’re so cautious about their corporate image, and rightfully so.”

I could almost see him rolling his eyes. “You work in the stockroom, for chrissakes—who’s gonna be offended, the books?”

I sighed loudly. “I gotta go, Georgie. Talk to you later.” Without waiting for him to say good-bye, I disconnected, and then called back my brother first. He picked up on the second ring.

“Hi, Sunny.”

“Hey, Tim. Is this about the video?”

“What the hell, Sunny?”

“How’d you know it was me?” I asked.

“Who else says the word
jackass
 
like that? Hey, did you cut your hair?”

I habitually reached for my ponytail, only to grab at air. Tears suddenly brimmed in mourning for the loss. I rubbed my eyes and hung my head as I sank into the love  seat in my living room. “I honestly

don’t know what came over me, Tim. He made this stupid remark, and for some reason I took it personally.”

“Maybe you could get the video pulled down.”

“I don’t know who took it. Besides, making a big deal of it is precisely what makes it a big deal.” I sounded like Theo.

“Anyway, I think it’s cool that my sister is a celebrity now. Just think: If you’d been drunk and spit in his face, you probably would’ve been invited on
 
Jersey Shore
.”

“Thanks for the support,” I snapped.

“I’m totally supporting you!” he said before I hung up on him. Finally, after returning Theo’s call and repeating my conversation with Georgie, I turned off my cell phone, disconnected my landline, and went back to my laptop. I logged in to Masterminds. In addition to a bio, trivia, links to news, interviews, articles, and any blog posts about him, the site also included a fan forum for all discussions Danny. I regularly participated in some of these discussions under the name “Sunnyside.” There I found a rousing discussion going on about the video, as I’d both expected and feared. I scrolled down past the first few posts:

I was *there*. He called his fans wannabes, and insinuated that he was better than the rest of us. Itwas a stupid thing to say, but I don’t think it was such a big deal that he should be called a jackassand a failure for it. I mean, he was right, in a way. The man’s got how many Emmys? Not to mentionthat he’s probably going to get the Oscar for Exposed (which was amazing, btw). Yeah, I don’t thinkhe’s a failure. She was probably the failure. She was probably everything he described.

I was there, too. It was more than a stupid thing to say. It was downright rude and offensive, and hetotally deserved what he got.

She’s a bitch and a loser. She got offended because Danny Masters was probably right.

Any time you think you’re above anyone, you’re nothing but a pompous douchebag. Does Dannyrealize that many of his fans are bright, hardworking people? Or does he even care about us peonswho paid for his Mercedes and his house and his kid’s future college education?

I love his writing, but he was totally wrong to make such a comment. And maybe she was stooping tohis level by calling him a jackass and a failure, but at least she didn’t pander to him like the rest of uswould. Admit it, half the people on this board think he walks on water and is above reproach, and he’snot. He’s an alcoholic. Sure, he may be sober, but it doesn’t change the mentality.

She’s a wannabe like the rest of us are. At least I admit it.

I worked my way back about two pages before feeling sick to my stomach. It was Teddy and the

Humiliation all over again: people who didn’t know a thing about me personally having something to sayat my expense. However, they seemed to be just as hard on Danny, if not harder.

Just as I was about to log off, a new comment appeared:

Hi. I’m Danny Masters. You may not believe that, but it’s true. Based on the conversation taking placehere, you’re obviously all aware of an incident that occurred during the premiere of Exposed  lastnight. I had made a crack that disparaged folks by referring to them as wannabes, and one attendee letme know in person that she was offended by the remark.

I hope this apology travels as fast as that video clip did. I also hope you’ll go see the movie ifyou haven’t yet. I don’t think one innocent misstep should discount any of the hard work the cast,crew, director, and I put into the making of this film.

Thanks for your time.

My insides fluttered and twisted in knots as I read the comment two more times. The alleged Danny Masters who posted this apology didn’t seem to be the guy who’d smiled at me outside the theater, who’dlooked
 
at
 
me rather than past me. Who’d held my hand rather than shaken it. Where was the apology,exactly? And to whom was he apologizing? Me? The inquirer at whom he had lashed out at? Maybe somepublicist typed this. And if that was the case, then I’d let him know that it wasn’t a “misstep” (and it sureas hell wasn’t “innocent”) or a mere faux pas that should’ve been said only behind closed doors. Danny Masters had done damage.

CHAPTER NINE

Danny Masters

T
HROUGHOUT THE TWENTY-PLUS
 
years he’d lived in Los Angeles, Danny’s body had never fully adjustedto Pacific Standard Time. The ringtone of his iPhone beside his bed jarred him awake—he’d flown homealmost immediately after the disastrous Q&A. What’s more, he’d blown off Charlene. He knew the sexprobably would’ve made him forget about everything: the smoke break, the woman, the goon, the film, the Q&A, the foot in his mouth, the hurt in her eyes. The two word-darts she’d shot into his chest.
 
Jackass
 
hecould take. He’d been called that and worse by his father, the critics, and just about every ex-girlfriend. But
failure
! Only his father had ever called him that, at least to his face. That dart contained poison, and itspread to every part of his body. Not even sex with Charlene could provide enough antidote.

He squinted at the phone’s screen to read the number and touched the Talk button.

“What,” he mumbled in a groggy voice.

“What the hell did you do now?” asked Jackson Dobbs, Danny’s longtime publicist.

Danny groaned. “Don’t tell me it’s on some fucking blog already,” he said, more awake now andtrying to sit  up in bed. He was still in his clothes from yesterday, minus the sports jacket.

“Worse,” said Jackson. “It’s on fucking YouTube. Not the remark you made—although I heardabout that from Paul—but the bitch who called you a jackass is.”

“She’s not a bitch,” snapped Danny. “Besides, this time it was deserved. And don’t you dare spinthis to make her look like the villain, you hear me?”

“Fine, fine,” said Jackson. “Geezus. Anyway, it’s already got something like two thousand hits.”