Aint too proud to beg sfdg-1 (24 page)

Hes bald, Ginger whispered. He looksI dont knowlike a big Vienna sausage with legs.

Gee, thanks, Josie said.

Lilith growled and snarled at Genghis, a male dog she did not recognize.

Roxie cracked up laughing. What the hell happened to him?

I got him clipped yesterday.

More like skinned, Bea corrected.

Ginger gasped. Is this what Celestial Pet gives you for free? Because if it is, I think you should go ahead and spend a few bucks.

Okay. I know he looks strange. Josie could add guilt to the long list of negative emotions shed been wallowing in. I took him to this little place off Twenty-first Street on a whim, when we were out walking. I tend to do impulsive things when Im depressed.

Ginger shook her head in dismay. For the love of God, go shopping next time, Jozeyou can always take a pair of shoes back to the store.

Roxie tilted her head. Ive missed you. Im glad youre here. She gave Josie a quick hug.

Ive missed you guys, too, Josie said. I wanted to tell you that Ive thought about it, and Im going to talk to Rick.

Thank God! Bea shouted, jumping up and down in her Reeboks. Martina must have thought it was some kind of agility exercise because she jumped with her, barking with joy.

Roxie and Ginger threw their arms around Josie and rocked her back and forth, squealing with excitement. Everybodys leashes got tangled. An oncoming dog walker opted to take a wide detour around the chaotic group, while Lilith snarled.

I /knew/ I could talk you into it, Bea said, when she finished jumping.

Josie picked a strand of Gingers hair from her lips and said, Mrs.

Needleman did that.

Really? Bea looked hurt.

But you helped, Josie quickly added. And so did you two. She peeled Ginger and Roxie off her shirt.

Ginger began fanning her flushed face. Rick is an absolute gem of a man.

And Josie, he loves you. Isnt that the Gods truth? Ginger looked to Roxie for confirmation.

Damn right, Roxie said. That man adores you, Josie. Hes been like a lost puppy without you since the kidnapping. He blames himself for putting you in dangerhe thinks thats why youre angry with him!

Well, its not, Josie said quietly. Like I told you, something else has been bothering me, but I realize I cant figure it out aloneI need Ricks help.

Ginger sighed. If you two get back together, it will be the most romantic thing Ive ever witnessed in my life.

The kidnapping wasnt Ricks fault, Bea said.

It wasnt anyones fault, Josie added.

The hell it wasnt!

Everyone was stunned by Beas outburst.

It was /my/ fault! she said, raking her fingers through her spiky hair, her voice filled with anxiety. If it werent for my interfering, Rick would have been with you! You wouldnt have been a sitting duck! Beas lips began to tremble. Im so sorry, Josie. Please try to forgive me.

Oh, Bea. Josie went over to the now thoroughly crying woman and gave her a warm hug. I am blessed to have friends who love me enough to worry about me. Just, next time… Josie gave all of them a thin smile.

Come to me directly if youve got concerns, okay?

Of course! Ginger said.

And you wont hide something important again, no matter how melodramatic we get with our vows and promises, Roxie said, grinning.

Never, Josie replied.

But there wont be a next time, right? Beas voice sounded worried. Youre going to work it out with Rick, right? Youre not going to let him go.

Josie looked around at the anxious expressions on her friends faces and laughed.

Roxie looked appalled. You almost let a man like Rick Rousseau walk out of your life and you think its funny?

You cant do that, Ginger said, her eyes big. Go after him, Josie!

Do whatever it takes. Beas voice became hushed and she grabbed Josies arm. Give it everything youve got. Beg if you have to.

Josie stared at them. The same women who had spent years scolding her for throwing herself at men were now demanding she throw herself at a man. Youve done a complete one-eighty on me. Whats up with that?

Were talking about Rick, Bea said, quite seriously. Josie, this man is not one of the Spikes of the world.

Hes not a Lloyd, Roxie said.

Hes not even a Wayne or a Randy or a Billy or whoever that guy was who stole your turkey baster when he moved out.

I havent thought of Lester in years, Josie said.

You finally got it right. Thats what were saying. Bea shook her head. So dont fuck it up now.

Josie smiled at her friends, knowing shed heard that piece of advice more than once lately. Ill try to reach him sometime this afternoon.

Hes at the office until four.

Josie stared at Bea, who looked sheepish. How would you know that?

Weve been keeping in touch, Bea said with a shrug. You know, in case you might need him for something.

Josie laughed.

Not that Im going to get in your business ever again, Bea added. I swear.

I think its time for some new vows, Ginger said, a mischievous smile taking over her face. Pile on, girls. She stuck out her hand. Bea slapped hers on next. Then Roxie. Josie went on top.

I promise to give myself a breaknot be so afraid of being forty and alone, Ginger said. And I promise to be a better friend to all of you.

Bea jumped in next. I promise to be there for all of you however I can, but from now on Ill offer my assistance from a respectful distanceand only after its requested.

Everyone giggled.

I vow to try harder to let go of the past, Roxie said, with a sigh. Ill try not to be so hacked off all the time.

It was Josies turn. Unlike the last time they did this, she didnt feel compelled to put on an act. Unlike the last time, she had no clever commentary.

Josie looked into the faces of the three women in the circle and said, I vow to take stock of my blessings every day, and that includes all of you. Thank you for being my friends.

The women pumped their hands in unison and reached to the sky with a celebratory /whoo-hoo!/ They linked arms and walked, laughing, their dogs running free. Except for the muzzled Lilith and the frightened HeatherLynn, who finished peeing on Gingers shoe, then demanded to be picked up.

Rick awakened from the stillness of meditation. The instant he opened his eyes, Josie was there. At first he thought she was a mirage, and that, like a dying man in the desert certain hed found water, Josie had come back to himhis salvation at long last.

His cell phone rang. It was Teeny. Yep, I see them. Tell the front desk Ill take care of it.

Good luck, Teeny said.

Rick stood up and walked out from the shade of the ginkgo tree. He jogged across enough of the lawn to know this was no mirage. Coming up the front walkway was the only woman hed ever loved and a dog he decided had to be Genghis, only nude.

Over here! he called out. Josie!

It was Genghis all right. The dog saw him, raced his way, sailed through the air, and body-slammed him, only to sniff Ricks zipper once hed regained his footing. But the Genghis Rick knew was gonehe had to be half his former size.

He stared at the dog in disbeliefhe looked like a lamb after shearing.

Rick could see the Labradoodles entire face, and for the first time he could put together the tongue-lolling smile with the crazy happy little brown marble eyes. It was like meeting an old friend for the very first time.

Josie came to stand near them. She was wearing a short denim skirt, a little blue T-shirt, and sandals. Her hair was pulled back from her face, and fell down to her shoulders. She looked so pretty he could hardly breathe. / Go slow… be cool…/ Please dont tell me Celestial Pet did this to him, Rick said, trying not to laugh.

I know. Its pretty awful. It wasnt your store. Josie took a step closer, her cheeks reddening with embarrassment. I took him to Bevs Canine Beauty Barn on Twenty-first Street.

Rick sucked in his lips and bit down, trying with all his might not to bust out laughing. Why did you do that?

Josies eyes narrowed. Because I was so angry it made sense to me, thats why. I didnt take him to Celestial Pet on purpose, out of spite. I wanted you to be hurt and offended that I didnt use my free service.

Rick nodded as though her logic were sound.

Stupid, obviously. Josie sighed and looked around the lawn. Rick, can we talk?

Absolutely. He gestured toward the shade under the ginkgo tree. Step into my office.

They walked side by side for a moment, and he gestured for her to take a seat on one of the buckwheat cushions.

He didnt see it coming. The force of the attack caught him off balance and he staggered backward, nearly falling to the ground.

Josies bag hit the grass and she jumped up, body-slamming him, much like her dog had just done. She grabbed him and kissed the hell out of him.

She clung to him, her legs wrapped around his waist and her arms around his neck. She smothered him with her kisses, her apologies, her tears.

Rick couldnt breathe, but it didnt matter. If he had to die, this would be his preferred method of crossing over.

He stumbled back and hit the trunk of the tree. With one arm Rick braced himself against the bark. With the other he squeezed her bottom.

It would have been one of the best moments of his life if Josie wasnt crying. But she continued crying and kissing and clutching at him like her existence depended on it.

Hold on a minute. Rick somehow managed to get his lips away long enough to gasp for air. Wait. Just a Im so sorry! Josie grabbed him on either side of his face. Ive been horrible. Childish. Downright mean. Rick, forgive me!

Rick tried to nod his head, but he had little range of motion in her grip.

Oh. Sorry. Josie unhooked her legs from his waist and slid down the front of his body. She pulled down her skirt and smoothed her hair. Ive missed you. I didnt realize how much till I saw you. I got carried away.

If measured in pain and regret, the last ten days of Ricks life had rivaled the worst days after the accident. For the last ten days, Rick had walked around like a zombie, aching for Josies company, her laugh, her love.

Right after the arrest, Rick assumed Josie hated him for not protecting her from Cummings. It was some comfort when his newest friendsBea, Ginger, and Roxietold him there was something else bothering Josie, but that she refused to discuss it. They assured Rick that Josie would come around, and suggested he give her some space.

Hed never had platonic women friends before. He had no idea it could be so handy.

Feel free to get carried away with me any time you want, Josie, Rick said.

She nodded. Ive been afraid to come to you. She looked down at the cushions. Can we sit?

Rick took her hand and pulled her down on his lap. She patted his arm and then moved to the next cushion over. With my other relationships, I never used to come out with stuff that bothered me. I held it inand look where that got me. Josie took a deep breath. Rick, I want to do things differently with you. I came here today because we need to clear the air between us. Can we do that?

Yes. Rick nodded. But first, I have to askhave you been okay?

Josie nodded. Yeah. Im fine physically. Mentally, it hasnt been horrible. At first Cummings scared me, but he wasnt all that bad.

Rick raised an eyebrow.

He was just a guy who couldnt mourn the loss of his daughter. For seven years, hed focused all his energy on hating you. Josie took a breath. I think he figured out that no matter how many of Rick Rousseaus girlfriends he kidnapped, Margot wouldnt be coming back.

I only have one girlfriend, Rick said. I dont plan on having any more, ever.

Josie looked down and fiddled with some clover, a faint smile on her lips. It took everything in him not to touch her.

Rick, Cummings told me that Margot came home pregnant on Christmas break of her sophomore year. Josie raised her eyes to him. She looked sad. Did you know about that?

Rick froze, the question jarring him. No. Why?

She was four months along when she had an abortion. The baby was yours.

Rick felt his body go rigid with denial. It couldnt be! Margot never said anything about a baby, Rick said, his calm a cover for the chaos inside him. I think Cummings was mistaken.

Josie pursed her lips. Didnt you date her in college?

Rick rubbed his jaw, not sure their activities constituted dating, but it was the euphemism of choice on every college campus, everywhere. Yes.

I dated her for the last part of our freshman year, then again in the fall of our sophomore year. And she never said a word to me about being pregnant.

Josies shoulders sagged.

Rick leaned his head against the tree trunk, trying to breathe. There was something about this that wasnt rightsomething more than being told hed fathered a child he never knew existed. Something at the back of his mind was screaming that it didnt make sense.

Then it hit him, and he laughed out loud with relief. That baby was not mine, Josie.

Josie frowned at him. How do you know?

Rick leaned toward her. Did Cummings say Margot was four months along at Christmas?

Josie nodded. He said the doctor initially refused to perform the procedure because she was too far along.

Josie. Rick reached out for her hand. Listen to me. It wasnt my child. I need you to believe me.

He saw how she struggledit was broadcast all over her face. She wanted to believe him. She was willing to believe him. But it was hard.

That was the only thing… Josies chin quivered. It was the one thing I told you I couldnt handle, Rick.

I remember. And Im telling you the truth.

Josie looked deep into his eyes and nodded. All right, she said. Im going to trust my instinct here and believe you. She smiled sadly. I want to believe you.

Would it help if I could prove it?

How in the world could you do that? She leaned away from him, confused.

Rick chuckled and shook his head at the irony. I never thought Id turn into Chatty Cathie about all this, but remember when I told you I was in jail twiceonce in the States and once in Thailand?