[Alaskan Quest 02] - Under the Northern Lights (27 page)

‘‘And I’ll remember you.’’ Jacob answered Leah, but he looked at Jayce and gave him a slight nod. ‘‘God will get us through. We have to have faith.’’

Jayce nodded.
Faith is all I have
.

Chapter Twenty-three

T
he Christmas festival held great revelry for the community. The children were delighted to be part of the blanket-toss games and footraces, while the young hunters were honored for their first catches. Mothers and grandmothers had carefully preserved whatever animal their young had managed to track down and now presented it to the gathering as confirmation of the new hunter’s ability.

Leah found herself enjoying the native dancing. She watched as the men and women moved in rhythm to the beating of the skin drums. Everyone seemed to enjoy the stories told in the dances, even though they were usually the same stories told year after year. The older folks seemed to be particularly delighted by the abundance of food. Everyone would bring bite-sized portions in huge bowls, and servers would offer them throughout the evening. It was a great time of fun for all ages.

Perhaps the crowning joy of the entire evening was when Bjorn shared the Christmas story with his congregation and with the other villagers who chose not to attend his little church. Afterward gifts were handed out and shared throughout the community. The wealthier would bring in more substantial presents, sometimes offering large pieces of fur or clothing, while the poorer gave only the most meager offerings. It didn’t matter, however. No one belittled the poor. In this community they looked out for each other and took care to provide for those who could not provide for themselves. It was the way things were done from generation to generation. Leah loved that about the Inupiat people. They were good to each other. The elderly were cherished and revered, unlike in many white communities. Leah had heard horrible stories from Karen and her relatives in the States.

Days after the celebration, Leah went to see Emma and got the sad news that she’d miscarried. The news took Leah by surprise. ‘‘I’m afraid I’m not good company,’’ Emma said, her eyes still wet with tears. ‘‘I was so looking forward to another baby.’’

Leah had still not told her about her own pregnancy, but realized it was not yet the proper timing for such an announcement. ‘‘I’m so sorry, Emma. I wish I could do something to help.’’

‘‘There’s nothing to be done. I told Bjorn last night, and he was ever so reassuring. He said before I knew it, I would be carrying another baby and that we shouldn’t mourn too greatly. I know he means well, but I will miss my little baby.’’

Leah thought of how she’d almost prayed to miscarry. A miscarriage would seem like a gift from the Lord, given her circumstances. If God took her child, then Leah wouldn’t have to feel guilty for her thoughts or her negative heart.

‘‘So you seem very well,’’ Emma said, drying her eyes. ‘‘I heard about Jayce’s brother dying. It’s a tragic end, but God’s ways are often more than we can understand.’’

Leah could only nod. She didn’t feel that she could yet explain things to her old friend.

‘‘Did he have a family? A wife—children?’’

Leah felt the words stick in her throat. Did Chase have children? That was what she needed to know. ‘‘No,’’ she finally said. ‘‘There was no one like that. He has another brother and a sister too. I’m told they live back east. Jayce tells me the family has never been close.’’

‘‘Pity. But on the other hand, it’s probably best Chase didn’t leave a family of his own behind.’’ Emma picked up some crocheting and began to work.

‘‘No doubt,’’ Leah replied softly. Anxious to change the subject, Leah asked about Emma’s planned summer trip. ‘‘Will you still go to Minnesota to visit your families next summer?’’

‘‘Oh, ja. I’m looking forward to it. I can hardly believe how the children have grown. I’m looking forward to showing them off and shopping for them. The mission board has promised us an extra stipend for supplies.’’ Her spirits seemed to lift. ‘‘We’ve taken turns talking about what we’d like to buy. There’s always so much to consider.’’

Leah nodded. ‘‘I can only imagine. I was so overcome when we were in Seattle. I guess I’d really forgotten what it was like to be in the city. The choices were more than I could even imagine. There are so many manufactured goods to be had.’’

‘‘Ja, my sister Sigrid writes to tell me of new inventions and improvements on things already in existence. She’s always good to tell me of such things. She’s not good to tell of the war or of other things, however.’’

‘‘Do you think she’ll like it here?’’ Leah questioned. ‘‘It will definitely be different from a city like Minneapolis.’’

‘‘I’ve told her as much. I’ve written long letters to explain how her days will be spent up here, just to be sure she still wants to come.’’

‘‘And does she?’’

‘‘Ja. She’s certain the wild open spaces will agree with her. She wants to learn to hunt and fish Alaskan style. She loves to do both in Minnesota. She’s quite an earthy girl. I suppose her real passion is teaching. She loves to teach school, which is not something Bjorn and I enjoy as much.’’

‘‘She sounds like a very resourceful woman,’’ Leah admitted. ‘‘I will do my best to help her feel welcome. We’ll have to have a party for her when she arrives and introduce her to everyone.’’

‘‘I think that would be great fun,’’ Emma said, glancing up from her work. ‘‘I know you two will get along well. I have even wondered if she would be a good match for Jacob, but I think I told you that. Could be they might find a fit in each other.’’

‘‘I’m certain I would prefer that to the current possibilities.’’

‘‘Helaina Beecham?’’

Leah nodded. ‘‘I don’t think she really cares for him, but Jacob has lost his heart to her. I’m sure that now this situation with Chase is settled, she’ll be bound for the States as soon as possible. She misses her cities and life of ease.’’

‘‘She does seem to be a good woman, however. She is trying hard to learn what she can.’’

‘‘I know that’s good, but I don’t see her being willing to give up everything to live here in Alaska. It just doesn’t seem to be her way.’’ She stood up. ‘‘I should get back home. I’m working to make some undershirts for Jayce and Jacob.’’

‘‘Leah, don’t worry overmuch about your brother and Helaina. Helaina has been a good help to us. She has the children off on a Saturday adventure. They love her very much. Who would have thought it?’’ Emma said, shaking her head. ‘‘I am glad she’s at peace with God.’’ She gave a little laugh and added, ‘‘Well there’s some peace, and some frustration. She asks poor Bjorn questions day and night.’’

‘‘She asks me a fair share, as well, and believe me, I’m trying not to worry.’’ Leah hugged Emma. ‘‘Come and visit me when you can.’’

‘‘And you come back when you can stay longer,’’ Emma declared.

Leah nodded. ‘‘I promise, I will.’’

Jayce worked to make lashings out of caribou sinew. He braided the pieces together and felt satisfied at their strength. He was making a new
umiak
for summer trips on the water and the lashings would have to be strong to hold the sealskin to the wooden frame.

As he worked, his mind kept returning to the same subject: his marriage to Leah and the baby that she now carried. Jayce found himself burdened with the idea of fatherhood. Would he make a good father? Could he be a loving parent to a child that might not even be his own? He tried to shake off such thoughts, tried to reason that even if the baby were Chase’s it would look no different. Jayce and Chase were identical in appearance, and therefore the child could have features that would be the same no matter the father.

Jayce sighed and put his work aside. He didn’t want it to matter. He wanted to be the bigger man—the hero of the story. He wanted Leah to feel comfortable and loved. He wanted them to put questions about the baby’s parentage behind them. But he couldn’t help himself. He dwelled on the issue constantly, and Jayce knew it would only be a matter of time before he said something. ‘‘God, what do I do?’’ He left his work and decided a short walk would be in order. He took up his Bible and rifle. In case anyone asked, he would just tell them he was out to scout something fresh for supper. Then if the moment presented itself, he’d be ready.

He walked away from the village, heading south along the shoreline. His mukluks crunched against the crusted snow. A storm had come in only days earlier, pushing the salt water over the ice just beyond the shores. This, in turn, pushed the ice toward the beach, forcing it up, breaking it and piling it in what Jayce knew to be pressure ridges. These could be quite dangerous and most people avoided them.

Farther out on the ice he saw several men working with seal nets. They would dig holes in the ice and string nets from one hole to the other underwater, all in hopes of catching fresh meat. Jayce had only learned how this was done a few weeks back. It sometimes proved very fruitful, and other times it was days and days before anything could be caught.

Moving farther away from the village, Jayce’s thoughts returned to Leah and the baby. They hadn’t talked about the child since she’d told him she was pregnant. It seemed to be an unspoken agreement between them, but Jayce knew it couldn’t continue. Soon Leah would begin to show, and everyone would know about the situation. If she and Jayce were not able to deal with this in a joyful manner, there would be further explanations due. Explanations that would no doubt leave Leah feeling ashamed.

Jayce found a spot to sit and placed his rifle across his knees. Reaching inside his parka, he pulled out his Bible and opened it. He went to Matthew, remembering that Bjorn had read from here when telling of the Christmas story. There were verses here that Jayce felt drawn to—Scriptures that told of Joseph dealing with Mary’s news that she would bear a child. A child that did not belong to Joseph.

Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her
a public example, was minded to put her away privily. But while he thought
on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream,
saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife:
for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost. And she shall bring
forth a son, and thou shalt call his name Jesus: for he shall save his people
from their sins
.

The words comforted Jayce as he read and reread them. Joseph had trusted the Lord and had taken Mary to be his wife. He had raised Jesus as his own child—loving Him and teaching Him, despite the fact that he knew without doubt that this baby was not his own flesh and blood.

Jayce, on the other hand, might well be the father of Leah’s baby. He knew this and knew that he had to make a decision here and now that, no matter what, this child was his. This would be his son or daughter and nothing would ever change that.

Looking again at the verses, Jayce felt renewed.
And she shall
bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name Jesus: for he shall save his
people from their sins
. Jesus had saved them from their sins. They had asked for His forgiveness and sought His eternal redemption. Neither Jayce nor Leah had done any wrong in the conception of this baby. Furthermore, the child had done nothing wrong. Jayce could not punish an innocent life for the crimes of someone else.

He smiled as a peace settled over him. ‘‘Thank you, God. Thank you for showing me the truth.’’ It might not be an easy situation, and there would no doubt be questions to deal with from time to time, but the important thing was to heal and grow in their love as a family.

With renewed vigor, Jayce raced for home. He needed to see Leah—to tell her of what he’d read and reassure her that they would have a wonderful life together, and that their child would be a blessing.

‘‘Leah!’’ he called as he rushed into the house. ‘‘Leah!’’

‘‘What is it?’’ she asked as she came from behind the kitchen fur. ‘‘What’s wrong?’’ Her face was ashen.

‘‘Nothing is wrong,’’ he said, pulling her close. He’d momentarily forgotten to be more gentle, but he couldn’t help it. ‘‘I have something good to tell you.’’

She smiled. ‘‘I’m all for good news.’’

‘‘Come, sit with me.’’ He led her into the main room of the house. The small table and chairs there would make a good place to talk. When they were both seated, he began.

‘‘I know we’ve avoided talking about the baby.’’ He saw her eyes widen just a bit as she nodded. ‘‘But I need to talk about the baby now. I need for you to understand something.’’

‘‘All right.’’

He smiled, hoping that she would be put at ease. ‘‘Remember when Bjorn taught about the birth of Jesus?’’ She nodded and he continued. ‘‘He talked about Mary learning that she would bear a son, and of Joseph learning that Mary was with child. Joseph knew the baby wasn’t his, yet God sent an angel to encourage Joseph. He told Joseph that it would be all right—that Jesus was God’s Son and He would take away the sins of the world.’’

‘‘I remember that.’’ She seemed to consider his words.

‘‘I was humbled by the fact that Joseph, even though he knew he wasn’t the father of Jesus, became the earthly father and raised Jesus as his own son.’’ He reached out and took hold of Leah’s hands. ‘‘We might not know for certain whether this child was conceived during our time together or not, but there is a good chance that he was.’’

‘‘So now it’s a boy?’’ she asked, a hint of a smile on her lips.

‘‘Boy or girl, it doesn’t matter. This baby is mine.’’

She cocked her head to the side and raised a brow. ‘‘Just like that?’’

‘‘Just like that,’’ he said firmly. ‘‘I am the father. I will always be the father. The past doesn’t matter. We were innocent of any wrongdoing, but even more so, this child is innocent.’’

Tears formed in Leah’s eyes. ‘‘I . . . I . . .’’

He shook his head and put a finger to her lips. ‘‘The past is gone. We are free from its grip. Chase is dead, and he cannot hurt us anymore. We are starting a new life—a new adventure as parents to a wonderful child who will give us great joy. Jesus came to save His people from their sins, and I believe this baby will come to save us from our sorrows and regrets.’’